purplegail Report post Posted September 3, 2006 I've always been aware that we musn't be the most desired family next door. Laura spends a lot of the time screaming , swearing and knocking lumps out of the house so it's hardly peaceful!!! While we were away, a friend was checking on the house and my neighbour asked when we were back. With the reply, he commented '' that's when all hell breaks loose again then , we've really enjoyed the peace and quiet''!!!! Such a simple comment has just reinforced what I already knew - we are an extremely 'abnormal' family - and really upset me. They are expecting their first child. I feel like telling them that I could never have imagined or wished for the problems, tears and heartache that have accompanied my daughter and hope that they get a 'trouble free child' as I wouldn't wish this on anyone else especially people like them - ferrari, jet-ski, speed boat,several foreign holidays a year (do I sound jealous????) but also I wouldn't wish that I didn't have her for a moment. I could just do with a bit of undersatnding and less disapproving comments. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Do they know your dd has special needs? If they don't then it might be just ignorance on their part. If they do then they're not worth bothering about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted September 3, 2006 (edited) Maybe when things are calm you could explain what is causing this, like Bullet said, surely they would not make comments like this if they knew. Also, many young people that dont have kids, think they know it all, they will certainly have a wakeup call when they have kids. when the new boss arrives, I think we can all relate to that. I am sure they have already eaten their words. Edited September 3, 2006 by Frangipani Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamsmum Report post Posted September 3, 2006 we have similer problems. we live in a small villig and are the local outcasts it use to upset me but now i just get on with my own live. I got fed up with explaining my boys SN as thay will never understand If your neighbours think thay got it bad thay should try living next door to my 4 pluss my DH with his big gob. As you maye gather we dont speak to next door Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted September 3, 2006 (edited) I think you said that perfectly. I'd be inclined to print that out and post it through their letterbox. Lets hope that this child that is due brings them to their senses! Edited September 3, 2006 by Tylers-mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Hi Purplegail, Totally understand where you're coming from. We have exactly the same kind of neighbours and they make comments all the time - we've just been away and my hubbie said they must of asked about a dozen times as to 'when are you going away now' and could tell my the way it was said that they couldn't wait for us to go. Our eldest daughter's 13 (ASD) and she is extremely bad screaming etc just before bedtime and after we've gone to bed - and my little one who's only 3 isn't particularly quiet either. They have a little girl whose just turned 2 and even if we're out in the garden - they will come out and mention she's in bed etc and talk in a whisper (they're lucky that they have a daughter who's in bed by 6pm every night and have parents who visit a few times daily - to do washing, mowing the lawn etc). They have no idea of my daughters problems other than they know she's hard work - but I get the distinct impression by the way they talk etc that it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference if they did know - you can tell the ones that think it's all down to bad parenting. We've even begun to look for houses in our area that are detached as to avoid this feeling - but they are so far out of our price range. Take care, chin up, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted September 3, 2006 its comments like that which hurt isent it. we had horrible neighbours at our last house and that was when steve was only 3 so they would have a breakdown if we lived near them now,i wouldnt have minded but there son was special needs as well,that was why i was so relieved when i moved,lifes hard enough without having ignorant horrible people next door,keep your chin up,try to ignore them,i know its hard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted September 3, 2006 Hi I've encountered exactly the same problems as you. I spoke to my neighbours and told them about Robert having an ASD. Yet still when he sees them, he always asks lots of questions and I was livid to hear them responding by giving him stupid answers like "I'm going to the moon". I was so mad but kept the head. I saw him in the garden and presented him with a leaflet and told him that I thought it helpful to make him aware of Robert's difficulties. I also told him that he's inclined to ask lots of questions. At that he smiled. I then said that aside from the fact that it's so rude to speak to a child like they did, that it wasn't helpful as Aspies tend to take things very literally. I suggested that if they didn't want to speak, rather than ignore or be rude, that they simply said they were busy and would speak to him another time. I get other neighbours tell me that there's nothing wrong with Robert, etc etc. I've came to realise that whilst I can make people aware of Robert's difficulties, I can't make them understand. Fact is, life for us isn't normal and never will be. Just wonder how neighbours would feel it the boot were on the other foot. It's heartbreaking and it's something that I don't feel I'll ever get over, but it's a lesson learnt. You've so much more to concern yourself about (ie your family) and life is so hard. My advice is that they're simply not worth worrying about. Best wishes Caroline Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
