TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH Work have just gone and undone all of the 'good' work that they've done in the past couple of weeks by dropping me right in it One of the blokes here wants to go part time and they've managed to find the only other person in the entire universe who wants to work part-time and has something remotely matching the skills that we need/use. This has all gone on 'in the background' (as far as I'm concerned - I don't get onvolved with this kind of thing) but today, it turns out, is interview day and, as everyone else is 'too busy' it's been decided (without asking) that I'm going to have to not only interview this woman but also demonstrate all of the company's systems to her What do I have a problems with? Communicating. Who am I wary of? Strangers. Who is the very worst person to drop things on unannounced? Me. Who now has less than 2 and a half hours to come up with a set of questions to figure out if this woman is up to the job or not? AARRGGHH Normally I'd panic and go running to my boss but it's him that's dropped me in it. The HoD (useful as he always is) is in a meeting off site all day and the other <insert rude word here>s in the department have, as I've said, deemed themselves 'too busy' (which is why one is on the phone to Napster, one is discussing share options and the third is looking out of the window)(I, by comparrison, am typing this while trying to rebuild a PC) I think I'll start sticking AS Aware cards to my forehead and see if that helps any Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted September 12, 2006 <'> <'> We listen to you.Me. I should be wading through secondary school OFSTED reports-perhaps we could swap jobs-I can do an interview-no idea if she would be any good as need kids to reboot when this thing does not work. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 12, 2006 TN I find small talk difficult, but I am Ok with interviewing because the conversation has such a clear structure. The best thing to do is make a list of questions to ask and work throught the list, google may help with this. Some could be What interested you about this job? What do you know about the company? Why do you think you would be good at this job? What are your strenths? What are the areas that you still need to work on? What is your greates achievement in work? If you have two urgent pieces of work to do today but only time to do one of them how would you deal with that situation? What are your hobbies? I hope this helps Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted September 12, 2006 My husband regularly interviews people for jobs other questions you could ask would be: 1. We operate a policy of equal opportunities for all in this company - what do you understand by this? 2. If you had to deal with a work colleague/member of the public who was using aggressive language towards you how would you deal with this situation? 3. Are there any questions you would like to ask me about this position for which you are applying? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 To be honest the question side of things isn't worrying me too much but it's the fact that it's me who's got to do the interviewing that's frustrating me. That and the fact that this was dropped on me at such short notice. Basically, as per usual, totally ignoring the 'problems' that I have Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Unfortunately TN that's the problem NT folk have. When an Aspie is just trundling along there happy as larry in his little rut there is a tendancy to "forget" the problems AS folk have - it's not ignorance or nastiness it's just a kind of "used to who the person is" kind of attitude. NT folk are unaware of the panic this sudden situation has put you in, we on the forum do understand because we travelling that road with you - the average person will never understand what you are going through. Take comfort in the fact that they obviously see you as more than capable of interviewing this woman or they wouldn't have put their trust in you to have the ability to vet a new person joining the team. Perhaps after you've got this out of the way you could write a short memo to the boss stating that although you were naturally delighted to interview this woman you would have appreciated a bit more warning next time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 12, 2006 that would do my head in aswell neil..........not the interview or having to do it..........the fact that "me "...........and my needs and worries and difficulties had,nt been taken into account.Listen stay cool focus on the interview ........best of luck........then you must vent your disdain and explain to your managers just how difficult you find being dropped in it <'> Suzex............ps hope you had a good weekend ....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 hope you had a good weekend ....... Nope. Near killed myself on Saturday (over-enthusiasm on the housework front) and then got all mopey on Sunday as I was all alone (and therefore bored), fell asleep for 15 minutes on the sofa in the afternoon and then couldn't sleep when I went to bed properly (meaning that I got about 4 hours' sleep and missed the middle of Ocean's 11 (the Frank Sinatra original BTW - not the George Clooney cash-in)). Then my brother asked me what I was doing at Christmas - he thinks that spending it with him and his spawn-of-satan 5 year old will be good for me (and that's 'good' in the same way that climbing into an industrial cement mixer is 'good' for me). I'm thinking about running away to Scotland or somewhere far, far away... And the <insert rude word here> interviewee woman is running late so I'm sat thumb-twiddling...AARRGGHH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted September 12, 2006 (edited) And the <insert rude word here> interviewee woman is running late so I'm sat thumb-twiddling...AARRGGHH Hope she turns up soon <'> Goodluck. Edited September 12, 2006 by Frangipani Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH My boss has just had a 'great idea'. Instead of having a 'traditional' interview instead he'll wheel this woman around each person in the department and we'll then present the projects that we work on - in front of everyone else..tra la la la la At the moment they've just started with the first guy and I'm third. I'm freaking. My heart rate has gone through the roof and I'm all over the place - can't focus, can't concentrate Can't cause a 'scene' (oh good heavens no) so I'm going to have to risk 'freezing' in front of everyone (including the <insert rude word here> who sits opposite me and already has a cocky sneer on his face). I think my boss and I are going to have another chat once this is over - no way is this acceptable either in terms of a group thing or in terms of a preparation thing AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Sounds like a good jog to get rid of all the tension would be a great idea after work. Breathe out TN. Do some deep breathing, you keep telling yourself, 'You'll handle it." <'> You'll be fine. Think about that jog later, get your mind off all this for a moment, it will help you relax, you need to relax. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Well that was certainly fun...NOT! I clammed up and my boss had to keep chipping in and prompting me - I'm sure that this made a great impression. It wasn't helped by the fact that the woman, whether she was aware of it or not, kept staring at me...freak out central At the moment she's moved onto the <insert rude word here> who sits opposite me and he's explaining how professional we, what a great team spirit we have, and how we all work so well together (oh and how brilliant he is and how he, basically, runs the department and is the first person that everyone turns to when they have a problem. We truly are unworthy of his talents) . Maybe he's describing another IT department in another company which is staffed by another set of people At times like this I almost wished that I smoked as I certainly need something to calm me down. All exhausted now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Well that was certainly fun...NOT! At times like this I almost wished that I smoked as I certainly need something to calm me down. All exhausted now My sons doctor tells him when he feels like this to try and do deep breaths and visualise different colours. Colours are relaxing. Think each colour in the rainbow and things that colour, it helps you relax. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted September 12, 2006 I'm sure it went fine, TN though it was not exactly fun. The others are just as anxious about what they will have to say so don't worry about them. I think you must talk about this with your boss afterwards! Now you can relax.... Curra <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted September 12, 2006 <'> Well done for coping so well in such difficult circumstances Yup, it's time for another meeting with the boss. ......and we all have a Mr/Mrs Perfect who thinks the company would go down the pan without them TN...got to ask. Have you ever watched the IT Crowd? - catch it if you can, my hubbs used to work in IT and it just looks like his old office! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 TN...got to ask. Have you ever watched the IT Crowd? - catch it if you can, my hubbs used to work in IT and it just looks like his old office! Oh yes - I thought it was very funny. What wasn't so funny was the technophobes coming in afterwards and thinking that it was 'hilarious' to quote it at us. First time: Funny. 18th time: Not funny. Sadly these are the very people who do get confused when you actually do ask them to switch their PC on Sadly my office (at work) isn't cluttered to hell with old PCs (although the IT Crowd do have some Macs in the background - there's 'geek' for you ) as it's 'modern' and open-plan so no-one else in the company (or even department) will stand for it. My home office though is piled high with junk 'valuable relics from a bygone age' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Neil give yourself a pat on back i think you coped really well considering how clearly stressed you were about the whole thing. It wasn't helped by the fact that the woman, whether she was aware of it or not, kept staring at me...freak out central wacko.gif Interviewee technique - I was told that when I was being interviewed to make lots of eye contact it shows that you are listening to the speaker!!! - or maybe she just fancied you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 or maybe she just fancied you If she did then it was certainly not reciprocated...I certainly don't need any more hassles in that department Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 12, 2006 don,t know if its intentional but you make me laugh..........do you have this dry wit in real life or is it something easily done in the written word?..............I,m with Carole on this , bet she fancied you ................if you have difficulty talking to people and clam up do what I do and imagine they,ve got a chicken on their head...............or a guniea pig .Have a good run tonight..........think what a lovely clean house you,ve got to go home to, and go on a holiday at Christmas.............what about ski-ing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 12, 2006 don,t know if its intentional but you make me laugh..........do you have this dry wit in real life or is it something easily done in the written word?..............I,m with Carole on this , bet she fancied you ................if you have difficulty talking to people and clam up do what I do and imagine they,ve got a chicken on their head...............or a guniea pig .Have a good run tonight..........think what a lovely clean house you,ve got to go home to, and go on a holiday at Christmas.............what about ski-ing I'm beginning to think that you're on commission from Going Places or something Suze . At the moment I have no idea what I'll be doing at the weekend, never mind Christmas, and going ski-ing might not be the most sensible of things - I'm so clumsy I can fall over while lying down Sadly I am the same in 'real life' but only when I calm down and am able to talk. This afternoon was certainly not one of those times and your advice about putting guinea pigs on heads (mentally anyway) might not work either: Imagining Mrs Wills would just make me want to pat the person and get all worried that they were OK, and imagining Mr Shuff would have me worrying that they were going to get crushed (he is a little on the large side) or wondering when they were going to check their 'downstairs area' out (he does do that quite a lot and I'm sure it's not natural - he will go blind if he doesn't stop it) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Well done for getting through the day, TheNeil. About a year ago I found myself in the similar position of having to interview and recruit people and I'd never done this before. I comforted myself with the thought that they were probably marginally more frightened than I was... I hope you have a relaxing evening. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted September 12, 2006 You handled it well considering the short notice and the communication difficulties you have. And you never know, the woman might have been staring at you thinking "hmmm, I wonder if the reason he's clamming up is because he's an Aspie?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 12, 2006 intentional or not , you make me smile ............... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephanie Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Neil How does your day from hell look in hindsight? Do you find that things always turn out to be as bad as you feared them?? Do you look back and worry about what happened or is it just relief that it is all over? Do you have any "anti panic strategies"?? I'm just interested. Sorry for the rapid fire questions. Your posts are funny, I think we can all imagine what you are like because you are so descriptive. As for the woman staring, she was just trying to look keen and interested, don't forget it was her being interviewed, in all reality she was probably scared and nervous too and didn't take in a word you said ... or maybe your flies were undone?? How about we all turn up with our lovely autistic kids round yours at Christmas instead? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephanie Report post Posted September 12, 2006 Also Neil, I don't like your avatar eye staring at me, it's horrible and I am NT!! Lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 13, 2006 Also Neil, I don't like your avatar eye staring at me, it's horrible and I am NT!! Lol Hurrumph. I built that avatar myself (it's not my eye by the way) - maybe I should animate it and make it blink Looking back at yesterday I'm so relieved that it's over but I'm still angry and frustrated that I was put through it. I know that I shouldn't have been the one who felt as though they were in the spotlight but the way that my boss decided (eventually) to handle it meant that I very much felt as though I was. Things don't always turn out to be as bad as I think they're going to be but, equally, they actually do - the inconsideration and the panic that it causes in me (rational or not) is very distressing to me and does cause the old ticker to start beating faster (about 750bpm I think), the forehead to get clammy and my focus and concentration to go totally. And as for actually saying something... Flies were done up (I'm paranoid about things like that so always check), she might have wondered if I was an Aspie (although I do have one of my handy 'This person has Asperger Syndrome' cards stuck to the front of my PC - not that anyone has ever mentioned it), and she probably was really nervous - doesn't excuse my boss's actions though (and, let's be honest, he, and indeed the entire department (and indeed company) are usually so considerate and understanding where these things are concerned ). I don't have 'anti-panic strategies' as I usually just try to blunder through or enter 'panic mode' whereby all rational thought leaves my sad excuse for a brain and is replaced by even greater insanity than normal (which offers up great suggestions like 'hiding' (either under the desk or in the men's room), having an 'accident', or just generally running away and cowering under some coats) Maybe I should just have an open door policy at Christmas and anyone who fancies popping round can do - I'm sure that'd be a great way to calm me down Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zaman Report post Posted September 13, 2006 Maybe I should just have an open door policy at Christmas and anyone who fancies popping round can do - I'm sure that'd be a great way to calm me down Diaries out then? Sounds like we've got childcare cover for the xmas holidays. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted September 14, 2006 Diaries out then? Sounds like we've got childcare cover for the xmas holidays. Prepare for carnage, deep seated psychological trauma and many, many years of counselling...probably for me and any child unfortunate enough to be left in my care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 14, 2006 Prepare for carnage, deep seated psychological trauma and many, many years of counselling...probably for me and any child unfortunate enough to be left in my care What about the guinea pigs - best start searching for someone who specailses in Guineapig counselling? Cos i think they will need some reassurance or perhaps some choice ###### bits of celery cabbage n carrot to make it up to em! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gladysmay Report post Posted September 14, 2006 your sense of humour is similar to my sons, he is brilliant and so quick people just dont get it sometimes, it is hard to get off the idea that it should not have happened that way, how could you have been put in that situation if it is something that has been discussed and factored in as 'shouldnt happen' - I have had this discussion many times with my son, trouble is, NTs are unreliable in that way and do not follow the procedure no matter how hard you try to set it up as much for their benefit as yours! well done but I see where you are coming from. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
