TheNeil Report post Posted May 30, 2006 (edited) After having survived a theme park over the weekend (see 'How To Prove It?' topic) I just wanted to get back to doing whatever it is that I do for a job but the office has managed to annoy me already and I've only been in for an hour and a half The world cup, as we know is coming - hooray (or, being reserved and quiet as I am 'the world cup is coming - hooray')(I'll be supporting Brazil as usual BTW) and we're going to have a sweepstake here as to who's going to win it. Ok that's fine and I'll make the effort and join in...except that I'm too late. The department (excluding me) decided this morning that we could all pay ?2 and pick a team from a hat and whoever won would get the money - you know, standard stuff. Now there are only 6 people in our department and 32 teams so it was decided (again, without me) that people from other departments would get asked, which they did and happiness ensued You'll notice that I keep excluding myself from the above actions and this is for good reason as I had my headphones on and not one of the <insert rude word here> thought to ask me to join in or ask what I thought - even though I sit 4 feet away. In fact I almost get the impression that they deliberately waited until I was absorbed in something before they decided to do it (it's been mentioned a couple of times in the past couple of weeks but, amazingly, it's only now that it gets implemented) They all know about my AS and they all know that I don't like group situations or really talking to them but I feel well and truly excluded and unwanted. Would it have taken that much effort for someone to quietly ask me if I'd like to join in? I'm seriously disappointed with my boss on this one but, as it's not strictly work related, what can I do about it I don't want them to go overboard but is a little bit of consideration/decenmcy too much to ask for? Edited May 30, 2006 by TheNeil Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Good morning TN. How flipping rude and apparently spiteful of your workmates to isolate you in such a manner. For your boss to know about this and stand by and let them do it strikes me as condoning their actions. Actions that, to me, smack of work place bullying due to your difficulty in social situations at worst or just just plain ignorance at best. I would stand up at breaktime anf feign ignorance of it all and offer your money for the pot. Make them squirm as they have to tell you they've done it already...but thats me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted May 30, 2006 TN I'm backing Phas on this one watch them get out of it when you offer the money see what febel excuse they come up with. I think it would be 1-0 to you then (not that it matters but would make you feel better) Lisa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Could do but that would mean standing up and risking becoming the centre of attention (panic, panic, panic - breathe, breathe, breathe) - I suppose an email to the 'organiser' might be a start though Being excluded from a stupid world cup sweepstake isn't the end of the world to me but the fact that I'm now getting ignored/excluded even with this kind of thing is really starting to get to me. Following the dx I'd hoped that things might get a bit better in the office (I'm sure I've whined about this before - sorry) and I went out of my way to make everyone aware of the situation - this was the ideal 'ice-breaker' situation and they all totally blew it. Ok so maybe I could have waded in with my size 9s but they obviously just don't get the mesage that I can't (and I really hate having to use that word). I think I'm just going to have to admit that they really are fundamentaly nasty pieces of work Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted May 30, 2006 (edited) I don't know what to say - and that's rare for me. I hate this kind of bullying - even though it's not explicit, excluding people from workplace activities is a form of bullying. All I can do is send some of these <'> <'> and say that not all people are the same. Not much help to you when you are stuck with them in the office every day (and that must be pretty miserable) but you do have some friends on here at least. Not much help am I really? Edited May 30, 2006 by Jill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 30, 2006 I'm with Phas too hard as it will be those doing this need to be sorted <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
col Report post Posted May 30, 2006 TN sending you <'> <'> I sooo know that feeling. I think that why i am looking so forward to DD7 leaving infant school in July. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Sounds like a right spiteful selfish bunch. TN <'> The rotten sods. Lauren XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted May 30, 2006 <'> <'> <'> They're a bunch of rotten so-and-so's they really are. Hope you get it sorted Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 30, 2006 I can understand you reluctance. I was just thinking that if you can think of just one of them who might be more understanding then the others approach them and ask when the pot is going round. That might give you the chance to explain how things are for you and they could disseminate the info back to them for you. Perhaps they just don't appreciate what having an ASD means. This could be the chance to explain. You go with what feels good for you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted May 30, 2006 I can understand you reluctance. I was just thinking that if you can think of just one of them who might be more understanding then the others approach them and ask when the pot is going round. That might give you the chance to explain how things are for you and they could disseminate the info back to them for you. Perhaps they just don't appreciate what having an ASD means. This could be the chance to explain. You go with what feels good for you. I see what you're saying (and I do appreciate it BTW) - if I can make one of them aware of how things are then maybe the rest might get the message. Of course doing even that itsn't going to be easy but I'll see how things go this afternoon (at the moment our servers keep dying so everyone (including me) is a bit busy ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted May 30, 2006 TN I can guess how hard it will be for you to try and explain all this to a colleague. If you work for a big company there will be someone in human resources who could help you out? Or an occupational health nurse? Or even talk to your boss? You shouldn't have to do all the explaining. I don't know who it would be but there will surely be someone in your workplace who deals with this sort of thing. Especially in these days of equal opportunities etc. Or am I being naieve??? Lauren <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted May 30, 2006 TN I can guess how hard it will be for you to try and explain all this to a colleague. If you work for a big company there will be someone in human resources who could help you out? Or an occupational health nurse? Or even talk to your boss? You shouldn't have to do all the explaining. I don't know who it would be but there will surely be someone in your workplace who deals with this sort of thing. Especially in these days of equal opportunities etc. Or am I being naieve??? Lauren <'> You're not being naive Lauren but I don't think that this is a case of the company being at fault but individuals...and I don't know how much the company can dictate how 'nice' they are to me (especially as this isn't technically work related). To be perfectly honest the HR woman is neither use nor onament and hasn't asked me a single question or said a single thing to me about the AS since I went 'official'...and that was weeks ago. The company has apparently checked around for HR/Health&Safety issues and as there's no actual provision made for Autism (and ASDs) within the group that our company is part of - seems that they drew a blank and came to the conclusion that, barring the obvious team/company meetings, I wouldn't actually need anything (not that they've ever asked) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Ok I did it and I still have a thin sheet of sweat on my brow to prove it. I decided to bite on the bullet (after a mere 4 hours - for me that's fast) and go and non-chalantly ask if there were any teams left. Sadly they weren't but the guy running it did offer to sell me South Korea (gee thanks - I don't mind losing to random chance by drawing a name out of a hat but I might as well burn my cash with South Korea). His attitude was that I 'should have come earlier'...end of discussion. He didn't ask why I hadn't come earlier and I had a slight panic attack so just slunk back to my desk I know that to many it might not look like it but I tried...God knows I tried Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 30, 2006 still does not give them the excuse to be complete a***s tho well done for tying tho, <'> X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BusyLizzie100 Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Good for you, TheNeil, for having a go. That must have taken guts. Now they know that you're interested, so it could open up a way for discussion at a later date, even if it's just to say, when South Korea get knocked out, 'thanks, guys, for picking all the decent teams - next time I want first pick!' Lizzie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted May 30, 2006 Well done that man. I agree, that took some guts. It has opend the door if only a little. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
