Hi everyone. I’ve not been on for a while. We have had our ups and downs since the last time I came on but normally things seem to iron themselves out quickly but not this time so I am turning to experience from other parents as everyone I speak to doesn’t understand or thinks I am worrying unnecessarily; maybe I am? I hope I am! L
My son is 17 (turns 18 in July) and has become more and more withdrawn over the last month or so since finishing a two week work experience which he really enjoyed doing.
He attends an independent 6th form which was joined to his school. The 6th form only opened last year (my son was the one of the first pupils there) and we fought for his place there as he had settled so well in the school and we knew he wouldn’t manage a mainstream college. He is due to leave this Summer but it feels like he has given up.
He completed a 2 week work placement at the school after the Christmas break and he absolutely loved it but after his first week back at the 6th form he has become more and more withdrawn and has refused to go back. During this time his link worker at 6th form has come out to try to get him to go back with them (this has worked in the past) but this isn’t working this time. He managed to get him to yesterday and we thought we had turned a corner but this morning we are back at square one and he has refused.
The staff at the 6th form are getting fed up with him and I am worn down by it all.
We meet with the LA monthly due to the additional years funding they want regular updates but the only update from the last meeting is that he has been to school for only 2 days! I am expecting them to pull the plug on the funding but I don’t know what to do. I feel totally out of my depth. He won’t talk to me and has just shut down. He is up all night – he’d play games 24/7 if he could but I have taken the wifi off him – no school no internet! I worry that he is depressed but he won’t go to the GP and if he would he certainly wouldn’t take any meds / attend any counselling sessions to help his anxieties.
What happens to our children when they become adults? I had hoped he would be more independent by now but it feels like after his work experience he has returned to a very anxious young man. All we are getting from him when he does decide to talk to us is ‘he can’t be bothered’ and ‘he doesn’t care’. I have fought for years to get him the right education and to help him but how can I continue to help him when he won’t even help himself? Is this just teenage rebellion or his autism?
I don’t know where to turn or what to do. Everyone keeps saying they don’t want him not in education; training or employment but that’s exactly where he’s heading. I’m sat here in tears. This isn’t what I wanted. I fought so hard and it’s gotten me nowhere L I’m actually wondering if I did the right thing fighting for a special school as he couldn’t be more excluded from ‘normality’ now L