NobbyNobbs

we've finally got tickets to go to legoland in a couple of weeks! i'm especially excited as i understand i'll be able to get the exit pass thing so that i dont have to deal with the crowded queue lines. however, i wonder if anyone who has been before can clarify some things, otherwise i'll have to get my mom to phone them and ask. - what evidence do i need to take of my disability? i have a diagnosis report stating i have social/communication problems and that i have trouble in crowded spaces, and a DLA letter stating i get lower care. is this enough or do i need to get my GP to write another letter? - there are three of us going, me (AS) my mother and a 3 year old with behavioural problems. the problem i have is on the legoland website it states that someone must be in the same carriage/seat etc as me being the disabled person. it says one guest, but is that an adult or can it be a child? if it is an adult then it is not workable for us as that would leave the three year old on her own and thats certainly not an option. - if it were the case we would need to take a carer for me under their free carer entry scheme, but then it says documentary evidence must be provided... but i dont have any evidence stating i need a carer, would the evidence of me having AS+DLA be enough? i know i'll probably need to get someone to phone legoland to find this out but that involves my mom calling then me talking at my mom while shes on the phone so that she knows what to ask, so i'm hoping someone here knows the answer to some of the questions!

how old is she? between 8-10/11 is a really nasty age for girls. they seem to feel the need to fight for supremacy and can get really nasty and incredibly cruel if left to themselves. not a lot that can be done to change the situation except to work on getting her buddied up with some of the nicer girls and waiting it out. some class discussions can help but can also make it worse.

DSA are good that way. i waited 4 months for a tutor when i was distance learning with no class-hours, then she says i need these glasses and they take another 4 months to approve funding, then wonder why i dropped out! i already wear glasses. can i get the coloured ones in a prescription lens? i wont be able to read otherwise

thanks for the PM! to highlight the text i just use the cursor to highlight a section of the text as if i were going to copy it. i generally split the text into blocks as this helps me to focus on where i'm reading. in word i change the page colour to blue or grey before i type/read documents. its hard to seperate what problem comes from what. on my ed psych reports it was noted that if a red diagonal/horizontal/vertical line was introduced to a pattern or background i was completely unable to solve or read anything involved. i dont know if thats the ASD or the other problems or if its all wrapped up together. funny moment. having typed all this up my mother knocked on my door and explained she was very sorry but she just dropped the iron on my coloured overlays and melted two of them! fortunately i still have 2 A4 and 3 A5s left after removing the melted bits

while i was studying at university i was screened for Irlen syndrome and was found to have it. i was given blue overlays and applied for funding for tinted glasses. i was granted the funding through the Disableld Students Allowance, but before i could recieve my glasses i left university (due to a lack of support and without the necessary adjustments being made) after spending the last 4 days struggling to read 20 pages of the new Terry Pratchett book i have dug out the overlays and chopped one in half so that i can use it in the book. the difference is incredible, ive read another 40 pages in the last hour or so. obviously its rather impractical to use the overlay to read fiction, especially when you read as fast as i do with it on! so i need to get the tinted glasses, but dont know how to go about it/what it will cost/where to go. i also have to highlight any text on webpages (including here) in order to read it, so i know i will benefit a lot from getting the glasses. does anyone else have experience of this that can give me some advice? will i need to fund this myself or is there some kind of medical grounds for it? do i just find somewhere local(ish) who is qualified?

the bit i struggle with is the 'which is clearer' bit. i can never remember from one picture to the next, then feel bad for asking to go back and forth until i can work it out. in my experience, just take your time and be honest. if you dont understand say so. you cant really fake it because your answers would be inconsistant.

i would also consider the amount of time that the teacher would be able to spend adapting the curriculum for your child. if he/she already has at least 2 other children requiring adaptations and your son joins too it is fairly likely that at times noone will be getting what they need. i think headteachers think its their job to try and manipulate their pupil intake. its amazing how busy and unavailiable most HTs are when you call saying that you have a foster child who needs to move schools and i would imagine its something similar with SEN children. we were actually told by one HT that while we had every right to apply for a place at his school for our two foster kids , and he did have places availiable under no circumstances would he accept the application because he had plenty of other people who wanted the place that would be better for the school! and this was with reference to two very bright, very well behaved children who just had the misfortune of being labelled by their home life. in contrast, there are some fantastic schools out there. our local nursery have never had any foster kids before. this term they have gained two, one with extremely challenging behaviour and SEN. it must feel like the sky has fallen in on them. but they smile, and treat the kids wonderfully and do everything they can to help, adapting their rules to suit the kids needs etc. interestingly there is actually a law that says that with the exception of reception class where there is a legal limit to class size if a certain school is the best option for a foster child the school have no choice but to take them, no matter whether they have a place or not. this is very rarely applied and usually takes a fight with the LEA before the school give in. i wonder if something similar will eventually be applied to SEN children outside of the statementing system.

unless the independent school has an ASD specialist department that no mainstream school in your LEA has i dont think they're likely to allow it. why do you think that school is better than any other for him?

thanks! i know there are a couple of ASD children (courtesy of a doctor who suggested a good smack would fix them) in our village so wanted to check incase it was different for adults.

well done for taking the first steps! i agree with everyone else. we (AS people) are incredibly tough, and if we have to, can do a lot more than is comfortable. when every little thing is a fight you become very strong, and very good at fighting your instincts. the things sooze suggests are things i was made to do (undiagnosed, they just thought i needed to grow up and toughen up). my mother was very seriously ill when i was a child so i was passed around other family members who were less sensitive to me than my mother (and she wasn't exactly doting!) so i was made to do all sorts of things that would make most people squirm, let alone a 6 year old with AS. when i went to my aunts she made me and sister/cousins pick a recipe each. she drove us to the shops and gave us money, and said she'd meet us at the door when we had got what we needed. we then each had to cook a meal during the week with the ingredients we had bought completely on our own (i was 6 so did a salad as wasn't allowed to use the cooker). we were also left to navigate gatwick airport on our own (she refused to do anything so that we would learn to be independent) when we went on holiday with her, and completely plan and execute day trips to london. it worked. we still love her very much and i was able to go and study in america for 6 months at universty on my own. its never too late to start. perhaps you could get your daughters to join in the cooking rota with everyone doing a meal a week, so that its not just your son having to change as such. i think perhaps your son has got very used to being treated like a young child so it'll be a bit of a shock to change things, but its better for him in the long run. obviously dont dump him in at the deep end, but a gradual build up to basic functioning somewhere near his age will help him no end with not only his living skills but also his social skills as he will feel more on a level with his peers.

the gets worse part is that where he is (primary i presume) he is part of a very small group where everyone knows him and is relatively knowledgable about him. he has a reasonably intense support base which can control his environment to a certain degree. when he gets older he will be part of a very large group where few people will know him and less will understand. the type of support recieved at play in primary is unsustainable as even if he were to recieve 1-1 at breaks in secondary, that wouldn't help with the football issue. LSAs can't stop 13 yr old boys playing football because another child doesn't like it. he will either need to learn to mimic (which isn't the ideal it sounds, its still incredibly isolating) or accept he does not want to be part of the football crowd and find something else to be interested in (perhaps thats a direction to look at with the school) presumably the girls aren't so football mad, maybe he could be directed towards a few of them (who can also be very maternal and supporting) to play with on football day. the school should also have some sort of befriending scheme that he could be included in where another child is buddied with him for that day to play with. perhaps work on enabling him to accept he just doesn't like playing football. its irrelevant whether he is good/bad at it then. if you dont like something you dont have to do, dont do it!! easier said than done but with some effort on both yours and the schools part you may succeed if its paired with allowing him to do something he does like.

does anyone know of an adult dose of melatonin? or is it the same as a childs? i'm planning on going to my GP to ask if i can be prescribed it but anticipate that it will either be a no or she'll have to look into it. i find it easier to deal with if i know about it so that i can be sure its 'right'. i'm currently on sedating anti-depressants, but the sedating effect is beginning to wear off and i'm back to long nights of no sleep.

i have an excellent memory in general apart from that period. i remember my childhood well, and what books i read even better but that bit is gone. will have to ask someone about it

very good. i hope they continue like that from now, because one of the earlier ones was a bit odd but that was fantastic!

following a conversation with a friend i've realised i dont remember anything at all between the ages of 12 and 16. its not a bit sketchy, i literally dont remember anything. i can't remember anything i studied at school during that time although i suspect the knowledge is in there. i dont remember any events except 9/11 which is about where my memory clears and i can remember things again. anyone else heard of/experienced this? is it linked to ASD? i know that i had what was probably a nervous breakdown when i was 13 and wonder if that is what has caused the memory loss, although i 'recovered' after about 5 months (according to my parents)

it was fantastic. but the goal of me watching it is to get the tv to change channel (it takes 5 seconds to decide to do it!) before they show the 'tomorrow' bit. i dont know why they insist on showing all the key points of the storyline so that you know what happened/who did it before you get there.

ahh the wonders of freeview+ we watch strictly and record x factor, then when strictly finishes we start x factor. but i agree they should just not be so silly and share the viewing. if i had to choose i'd go for x factor, for at least the first half. i dont llike strictly when theres so many dancers, i can't keep them straight from one week to the next. also wasn't too impressed with martina going out last week

well done westie on the food success. i had just a marmite sandwich for lunch when i was at school. i hated the smells of other peoples packed lunches. the smell of wotsits mixed with orange on another persons hands is the most repulsive thing i've ever come across. i think with fussy eaters (of which i'm one) its so incredibly personal its hard to suggest anything because different aspects of foods affect different people. that said Nikkih the foods youve listed instantly said to me dry, firm but crumbly and sweet. i know you've probably been through all of this but if its any help i'd look at other foods that fit that bill. off the top of my head mini cheddars (they do different flavours) or the little salted party crackers and crackers for cheese feel and taste in that category for me. i'm probably wrong but didn't want to not say anything if theres any chance its helpful.

and shove huge forkfuls of the food in his mouth. then while the camera does a nice close up of it all dribbling back out he tries to talk and chew.... nice it is actually marginally better than when that other shouty guy did it with the bald shouty guy. then they were fighting over who got the biggest forkful to shove in their mouth while going 'mmmffh, mmfffh' also did anyone notice most of these so called 'professionals' can't cook!? can't make pastry, can't joint a chicken, can't cook an omlette. one of them nearly sliced his whole hand of fileting a fish...

i didn't say that. i said the parents are often the cause of their own financial issues/marital problems etc and blaming that on their child is unfair. there are plenty of people who have no money/get divorced without children with autism, its not an exclusive club and there are social groups where the divorce rate is incredibly high with no reason other than the couple entering marriage without understanding/being able to fully commit the rest of their lives. making out ive got some demon inside me that tries to destroy everything i touch and my family must fight to suppress this demon is disgusting. it gives no voice to the person who has the autism (ironic eh? 'autism speaks') who if my life is a reflection has worked far harder than their family to learn and behave in appropriate ways so that they can fit in. it also suggests the only thing standing between society and its total downfall (divorce/poverty etc) by autistics is some parents on an egotistical crusade.

well i always wondered who caused the bad things in life... now i know... it was me what a load of nonsense. i can't believe that sort of thing is legal, and that people looking for information on autism might come across it before they find out anything else. i feel sorry for the child of any parents that believe that rubbish, blaming their own faults and weaknesses on their childs autism.

the orange supermarket sweeten all their diet and no added sugar drinks (fizzy and squash) with a non-aspatame sweetner (can't remember which one). aspartame poisoning is a (poorly) recognised medical condition in america which causes IBS type symptoms as well as other things.

well now i'm in a bit of a bind. the decision arrived today to keep me on lower care, no mobility but some other thoughts have come too. the people at the tribunal (2 different from last time) seemed to be under the impression i was there to challenge the medical report that was made at my request rather than the decision made by the DLA. the whole time was spent going through that and asking if i agreed with each section, to which i (mostly) replied yes since it was a fair assessment of my physical needs. i dont know where they got that idea from. they then stated that the criteria for awarding DLA were based solely on on the physical ability of someone to carry out tasks, so of course i didn't qualify. but... this is what the DLA decision makers guide has to say - and so now i dont know what to do. my evidence more than proves i meet those criteria under mental disability as it clearly states those circumstances and the care provided by my mother to achieve them. they then also made no mention of the mobility componant or asked any questions even though i was arguing i should get low mobility. i've been granted funding for a support worker to take me out because i can't go out on my own except to certain routine places where i always do the same thing... they then kicked me out at spot on 4:30 and said they'd make a decision and post it to me, even though we hadn't finished going through the report, let alone discussing why i felt the decision was wrong/what my new evidence showed etc. so now i dont think the decision was fair. but i might just be being obsessive. and my parents dont ever fight for anything and can't understand why i'm bothering (even though my mother wants carers allowance for looking after me) i've put all of this in letters to the DLA before, including the quotes, but i couldn't talk about it at the tribunal (they refused to let my mother explain for me, making me answer all the questions, uncluding demanding i answer ones i said i couldn't understand or explain. they also jumped between insisting i remember what i was like in may 08 because thats when i filled in the form so thats what they were judging and telling me stuff didn't matter because now it was controlled with medication...

well i went to the tribunal. two of the people were different this time and the DWP didn't send a representative. they asked lots of questions and read the diagnostic report but said that because most of my care needs stem from a mental condition (AS) rather than a physical disability and i have a high IQ they dont count. i'm pretty sure thats discrimination but i can't exactly argue it any more as these were the people you take it to when its unfair! they wouldn't make the decision then so they might decide in my favour but its pretty clear its going to be a no and i might even lose what i have.

thanks! had a nice day window shopping (for a fridge/freezer) and had a tea party with party games organised by the 3 year old. not the height of cool but a very nice day all the same