NobbyNobbs

i moved out of a big city when i was 16 to a tiny village. i actually quite liked it because i was at least 9 miles away from anyone i knew, so i only ever had to see them if i wanted it. i used to hate running into people i knew when i was out. i would still go out and socialise with them sometimes, but because of the distance i didn't ever feel that i was wrong for choosing not to go out with them, whereas in the city i would feel bad because i had no 'real' reason for saying no to an invitation. having said that i spent the first 7 years of my life on equity share housing estates with kids my own age, and i did really miss having other children to play with after we moved to a country lane. i wasn't good friends with any of them, but it was always nice to go out to the park opposite and know that there would always be someone else there to play with. i also felt very left out when my secondary school 'friends' happened to all live on another big housing estate, and i didn't. because they were all so close (3 girls within 4 houses of each other) they never bothered to tell me they were meeting up (their houses were walking distance from mine). they didn't need to cos all they had to do was knock on each others doors. in my opinion i would be wary of moving to such an isolated place if she is willing/happy to play with other children on the estate. it may not seem like a proper friendship to you but it might be just what she needs. a lot can change in 7 years and the estate/your lives may be very different before you have to worry about gangs of teenagers.

if you go to here and put in your proposed travel details it will give you times and fares for the journey. i would recommend booking in advance, that way you may be able to have a seat reserved and therefore your own personal space even if the train is busy. if you (or someone on your behalf) contact the train stations you are travelling from and to they will also ensure there's someone on the platform waiting to help you off the train and to the exit/onto the train (as a disabled person). i did this when i was travelling home from university with a large suitcase while on crutches. as for discount, i think you only get one if you have a disabled persons rail card but someone else might know more about that. good luck!

On topic at last. i manage my church's sunday school (not a real job but i'll get to that) including 7 other adults, and 20+ kids, which i do with great success because i am interested in childrens education and have a passion that seems to rise above AS. however, i cannot hold down a full time job in another area, let alone manage a group of people because i just dont have the confidence, or ability to tolerate people who dont do things properly. i've been told by numerous 'knowledgable' people' that i cannot become a teacher because of my AS (i would be unable to tolerate the parents rather than the kids apparently) which is very disappointing, but if you're managing your job and can see yourself being happy to carry on doing so, then AS shouldn't be a barrier. getting a piece of paper that says you have AS doesn't mean you suddenly develop every single symptom - although it can sometimes feel like that . as for telling your boss, thats up to you and how sympathetic you think they might be. some employers are great and are willing to try to adapt a job to make it more comfortable to you, others will see it as a reason why you are unsuited to the job.

because the Computer Misuse Act in itself dismisses his crime as nothing important, illustrated by the sentence he would get here, compared to the one he will get in the US. personally i dont want to show solidarity with any criminal, whether they have AS, ADHD or are NT. the media are attempting to manipulate public perception by using his AS to imply that he should be treated better than any other person who did that crime. the poor reporting of AS makes it seem to those who know little/less about ASDs that he was unable to understand and control his actions. recently there have been a number of mothers who have turned their own child in after they learned they committed serious crimes, i'd rather show my solidarity with people who like them who have strong moral views. if i broke the law i wouldn't expect my mother to try to get me out of my punishment, i would expect her to be there for me when i had served the appropriate sentence and learned my lesson.

i was just about to say and me, clicked quote and it popped up with your edit. those of us with adult diagnosis have had to fight very hard to get by but that doesn't mean we have mild AS, in my case (and i can only speak for myself) it means that my parents did not know AS existed, i was given inappropriate medical care by doctors i can only assume also didn't know it existed and was dragged kicking and screaming through my childhood being thought of as an awkward, strange and antisocial person. and yes what i have experienced is not comparable to someone with severe developmentally delayed autism, but as Mumble said there is also a different level of expectation placed upon us making it like trying to compare eggs and bricks.

because the Daily Mail has switched to Labour bashing and spends all its pages running stories to show how terrible the government are/what a terrible state society is in, whatever the case/facts (not saying i support labour, but we get the DM and its driving me mad at the moment with its constant silly stories) it has also become fashionable for newspapers to run 'we support X' stories, there have been many in recent months suggesting you should sign an online petition to support whatever case/cause. as for the constant conspiracy theories, we just can't argue against them. they have almost no basis in any evidence/fact presented to the public (and yes, i know thats the point but it also means they are only as real as the fairy story i just read the little one) and personally i prefer to use evidence rather than make things up. dismising his crime as 'nothing important' as he is trying to do is insulting to every person who works hard to follow the law (it was still illegal then, whatever the sentence)

perhaps have a look at things you might have said relating to 6 year olds being able to do them. i got very upset as my 6th birthday was approaching because i loved the drink 5alive, and thought that you could only drink it when you were 5! if he's saying he doesn't want to get taller he might be afraid that he won't be able to do/have something he likes, even something like hugs or playing on a 'baby' toy or thing at the park. i also got very upset when i got to the age that kids started saying father christmas wasn't real because i thought if i knew he wasn't real i wouldn't get a stocking anymore... sometimes logic isn't so much fun. try reassuring him that nothing will change at all, even going into detail (clothes, toys etc) if he's really insistent that he doesn't want anything done, perhaps buy him presents, but dont wrap them and then give them to him after his birthday one by one as everyday things. once he's past the dreaded day he might feel a bit better about it all (he might even then want a late birthday celebration)

i agree with you there, but in my experience the people with AS who are unable to develop some level of coping skills after a period of time are generally those who have other things going on, such as learning difficulties/behavioural problems/MH difficulties which would still be there if you could somehow take the AS away. the combination is terrible and i am fully aware how lucky i am in my ability to learn to deal with the world and that this is not the case for everyone BUT... i do still have to work incredibly hard to do so and being branded as 'mild' is somewhat insulting to the battles i've gone through. i still have vivid memories of being literally dragged screaming from the house when i couldn't cope with social situations at all and was completely consumed by fear, but my mother was determined i would learn to deal with it (no dx at the time). it was pure hell and took me well over 6 months to 'recover' enough to even be able to go into a classroom and stay for one lesson without having to run out and throw up, but i did it. as for my comment about children being held back from what they could do i'm very greatful for your posts as i often find myself typing messages then having to abandon them as they would be largely unpopular and probably upsetting to the OP and am afraid of getting 'told off'. one of the best bits of working with foster children is you get to see the truly incredible things that children can do with the worst of situations, but i know not everyone has had that experience

interesting that you've posted that. one of our kids (NT but we suspect something is up, not ASD though) does this. today we pointed out some birds sitting on the roof of the house and she said 'there are farms on the roof' and didn't appear to notice she'd used the wrong word. at another point she tried to talk about the birds and it took over a minutes pause mid-sentence before she found the word birds to say. she makes up names for things (she got some plastic panpipes with a magazine and despite being told what they were called multiple times could only call them tuna) and seems incapable of saying certain words correctly. she got very excited today because there was a flamingo on her arm bands... but she can only say 'mingo' no matter how many times we correct her. she also doesn't understand certain words at all. you can't use the word why cos she doesn't know what you're saying, she just says 'i did it' over and over if you ask her why did you do it, and can't ask 'can you come and do X' she can only say 'you can do X if you like'. think i'm going to ask for her to be referred to the speech therapist because writing it all out here it seems like an awful lot. i was looking at a website speechdisorder.co.uk the other day and was sure i saw one listed as what you described, but when i went back to look i couldn't find it. it still has a lot of information on it that seems helpful

i think theres a confusion of terms. Aspergers Syndrome may be on the mild end of the spectrum relative to Kanner type autism, but as far as i know from a diagnostic point of view you either have AS or you don't. you dont get a piece of paper that says 'Congratulations X you have mild AS' you get a piece of paper that says 'you have AS'. AS also affects everyone differently. i'm extremely well spoken (ive won awards for public speaking), but that doesn't make me have less AS than someone who can't do that, any more than someone who has learnt to make eye contact has mildler AS than someone who looks at the floor all the time. by the time we reach adulthood we all have learnt a large number of 'tricks' to help us get by and appear normal. i fear some of the younger generation with childhood dxs wont achieve this and so will appear more severely affected because they haven't had to fight and learn to behave normal the way the adult dx group has, but thats an entirelly different matter. as for the OP - i agree with KezT, try to make a routine out of as much as possible, and if you find yourself in trouble for not being able to do something then lay it all on the line and suggest some ways that would help make your job easier for you, even if it means asking for help!

does he prefer sweet or savoury? could you get him onto smoothies (we get the long life ones in pouches and the fresh cartons), or make cakes with veg hidden in - we make muffins with butternut squash in. they dont taste like it though! with the hidden veg, try using a hand blender to puree cooked veg rather than spend age chopping it up tiny, just be aware it'll make the sauce thicker and if you use too much carrot everything will go orange (learnt that one the hard way) hopefully it's a phase and he'll get through it and next thing you know you'll be trying to force carbs into him cos he'll only eat veg. the trick with food is not to stress. plenty of NT kids have far worse diets, and they dont come out any the worse for it. if you keep things calm, keep putting it on his plate but just say 'okay' if he wont eat it eventually he should get over it, but if you make it stressful he'll become anxious about the foods and then it'll be a lot harder.

does anyone know what the rules are with claiming carers allowance after a tribunal ruling to increase DLA to middle rate? my appeal has now been going on for over a year, and thats a lot of carers allowance my mother is missing out on... but if i remember correctly you can't back-date CA. is that still the rule if the DWP decision is overturned by a tribunal? its not our fault the DWP are being silly (the tribunal even said so in not so many words), but its us thats missing out on the money that my mom needs to pay for the fact that she has to look after me.

nightmare day yesterday. we took the little one to a zoo/playpark. we usually go with whatever kids we have in the summer holidays and its a great day out for everyone. but it was awful! it was incredibly busy which set me off straight away dark crowded spaces with kids and adultls shouting everywhere are not my ideal. okay i thought, when we get into the outside play bit it'll be fine... but that was even more crowded. they had roped off most of the picnic area for a meet and greet with Dora the explorer, which left nowhere for anyone to sit and eat. in the end we managed to find a tiny space in the middle of some shrubs to sit and have our picnic, pointed the little one at the paddling pool (about 15metres square with at least 40 kids trying to play in it) and left 10 minutes later only 2 hours after we arrived. it has had maybe half the number of people there all the other years we've been, and that combined with losing the picnic area was baaad. they have a cafe which was about the only uncrowded place there, but little one has no concept of table manners, throws food, screams and shouts and calls people wonkers and batches (the only time i'm glad she can't speak properly) and generally isn't up to eating in a confined public place and their website says picnics are fine so all in all, i wasn't impressed and we wont be coming back next year! next trip is probably to a smaller theme park with lots of family rides that we've also been to before. have also got her into water 'paint' books with a little sponge tipped pen. perfect for her as she's a scribbler and can have them anywhere in the house as theres no mess and she gets a proper picture at the end. how's everyone else doing?

ahh that wont work. one of the doctors gave my sisters medical details and mobile no to a pharmacist after the silly woman managed to stab herself with my sisters old epi-pen and decided she must've given her HIV (which my sister doesn't have) so that the woman could phone my sister and harass her about it. my sister wrote a complaint to the practice manager... only to discover the practice manager is wife of said doctor! needless to say nothing was done about it they've also given incorrect information to the DWP about me which has taken me an entire year to get thrown out (had to go to tribunal) so i dont hold much faith in them, hence only seeing the one good GP. there aren't any other doctors surgeries for 9 miles so no hope of changing

we have online bookable appointments... but we still can't get any. ours work on the two week/that day system, but apparently there's some secret i'm missing as i can never get an appointment on the two week system, and if i phone on the day they say they haven't got any... but blow me if the olde ladies can't walk straight into the surgery, insist on seeing a doctor and get told to come back in 20 minutes!. biggest joke ever when the 3 year old had a seizure we said we needed to see a doctor that day, and they said no we couldn't, then while we were arguing with one receptionist about 3 year olds and medical emergencies the receptionist at the other computer managed to squeeze an old man in to see a specific doctor that day. our receptionist had to go out of the room to ask for help, then walk in and act all surprised that she'd missed an open appointment slot on the computer i need one for a repeat on the ADs, but theres already no appointments in the next two weeks, and when i phone they say theres no appointments with my GP for that day, but i can see someone else... well no... i need to see my GP or theres no point in it (plus none of the other ones there 'believe' in AS which isn't helpful) seriously not helped because the holidaymakers (who double our villages population in the summer) all come to our drs rather than going home, but we dont get extra doctors to cover the big rise in demand.

thats your opinion. personally, i think anyone that chooses to hack into military computers, leave messages, and then shamelessly defend himself by suggesting that he is better than them so they shouldn't punish him (bow down to his will) is plenty dangerous enough for me. its no better than someone who murders someone, then announces 'well they had it coming'

your defences are based on hypotheticals with no factual background in this or any other case. i just find it very frustrating that by him assosciating his crime/punishment with AS makes everyone else with AS look like they have the potential to also commit such a crime when most of us are decent law-abiding people who respect the rules.

my accent is unusual, not at all like the rest of my family's. people find it quite strange when we're out as a family because i dont sound anything like the rest of them, but we all look very similar. i have welsh intonations on certain words from being at university there, i have bits of american from living/studying there, and things that i referred to there more than here i tend to use the american word for, but its not intentional i dont know i'm doing it (and its not the usual garbage/ elevator stuff its really random things) i use american spelling for most things which is left over from having to write papers for university with american spellings and grammar, but can correct myself if i know its for a mainly british audience (i try to use mum rather than mom on here)

i always get my train tickets online and that seems to work well. i've always got the best price by using the train line one. i used to get my return fare from wales to west sussex for £12 with no concession card on there and now you have the option to pick up the tickets at the station in most places so dont even have to pay postage i dont think the phone thing is discrimination as all offers are at the discretion of the company and are often limited in their accessibility - ie text only, online only.. phone only is just another extension of this

thats not the point i was making. that would not be him serving the US sentence in the UK. the government has already stated that they are willing to negotiate with the US so that this could happened but McKinnon is ignoring that. the reason the computer misuse act isn't being applied is because his attacks were directed at the US military, hence the extradition. if a US citizen did it to us and we had a stronger punishment then everyone would be spitting fire if the US refused to extradite him irrespective of current law, so i'm not sure what all the fuss is about. if he can't stand the punishment he shouldn't have done the crime

if flying is a problem how about using the vouchers to pay for a real nice hotel in france with lots of kids stuff, and then pay for travel there on your own - channel tunnel, ferry etc are car-based so might be easier as it will be more familiar

canopus unless you've been in a US prison i think perhaps your argument needs to be reconsidered. your statement is based on speculation not fact. and as i said. he's not trying to get his US jail term served in the uk, he's trying to wriggle out of the greater punishment. youtube his interview with richard and judy, he appears unrepentant and even seems to think he was justified in his actions.

he is being treated like a terrorist because he committed terrorism. he launched a malicious attack against a foreign country. the message he left (oh yes, they dont mention that bit much) was malicious and threatening against the US and combined with the damage caused constitutes terrorism. that is why he is being extradited, just like other people who commit terrorist acts. i also find the labouring of 'foreign trial' odd. the trial will be held in english, and the prisons presumably are of a similar nature to british ones, he's not being extradited to north korea to be tortured! he doesn't want to be extradited because the british prison sentence he will recieve is tiny and the US sentence massive. otherwise why isn't he trying to arrange to be trialed in the US and then complete his full sentence in the uk? anyone would try to go with the easier option, but he's dragging every other person with AS through the mud while he does it.

wow. i'm off to commit some crimes cos i'm clearly entirely unable to resist doing bad things. all these years i spent following the rules (theres my compulsion) i was clearly not doing things the aspergers way after all. its like a bad joke, instead of the insanity plea we now have the aspergers plea. anyone would be afraid of going abroad to prison its not MEANT to be warm and comfy with mummy by your side. its meant to be a punishment for doing something wrong. and he did a big something wrong EDIT - smiley, you can be absolutley sure that every other 'reason' for his breaking the law has been investigated such as low IQ. EDIT again - i just found this on the BBC news 'have your say' about whether he should be extradited - that just shows how truly terrible the media representation of AS is if people still view it like that. its just hurtful to everyone who has AS. there are also people saying that he only 'caught' AS after he did the crime... its horrific how such ignornace is allowed to be posted. if this was about a physical disability then they would never let it be put up there

cling film will let water in through the gaps unless you wrap it perfectly, which will be tricky with only one hand to use! better to try a large freezer bag with an elastic band or hair band to tighten it to your arm (but not too tight!!) if you dont want to go down the glove route. if you do pick the glove you need to use a band to seal the bit on your wrist/arm or again it'll just get in that way. or you could go all out and put a gove on, then put a bag over it and seal the whole lot to really make sure nothing gets in. try keeping your hand pointed up as much as possible to protect the open end of whatever from the running water as for keeping the exposed parts of your hand clean try an alcohol hand gel carefully wiped on the non-burned exposed areas.