isme

Keep fighting! Hugs though, you sound as if you need them! <'> >< <'> >< <'> ><

LOL! Thank you!! :thumbs:

We have the same issue here! I have no idea what to tell him either..

When I moved Ben I just withdrew him and home edded until a place came up at his current school (nearly 3 years ago now). I didn't give any notice at all! I would talk to him, show him pics and stuff.. I know someone who was suggested that their child made a card for the new teacher, someone else who drew maps of classes and loos and things from having a couple of looks round, I also know someone who said that the school gave their child a "buddy" or the class email addy so that they could write messages and basically say hi, ask the questions they wanted to but in a really informal way.. Not sure if any of these would help or even be appropriate.. but thought I would share anyway!

I was thinking along the lines of an allowance.. Like the idea of having to do house community service if something is taken!

Thanks BM.. It makes far more sense now I think about it.. I know that M needs tasks broken down, so its the same with Ben.. Sorted, I can do that.. shall be ordering a laminator!! I cant thank you all enough for making me feel that Im not going mad, and that Im not alone with the various idiosyncracies (sp?) of Ben.. I just want to try to make things a little easier for him.. simple things that will help lots itms? Loving the pictorial stuff, can easily sort that, laminator will be ordered next week.. sorted! Thanks all!

Thanks! It has been hard, even last year I was told by his teacher that he "categorically does not have Aspergers" after she had spent 15 minutes telling me how difficult she had found his need for constant reasurrance and his constant obsessive behaviour regaring where he should put his glasses at playtime...... The gp we had also didn't seem to find his hand knitting and his "odd noises and behaviours" anything to be concerned about.. It was only when we went to see a different GP who ran a series of tests and saw him 3 times a week for a couple of weeks who said to me "have you ever thought about Aspergers?" I nearly cried! It was then that she referred us to the hospital and I had to see his teacher about filling in the stack of forms and casually mentioned it when he said "Oh Im not surprised he ticks most of the boxes, I'm surprised its taken so long".... hmm.... but anyway, we are here now and can help him with the things he needs help with.. Mostly stress related, aggression at home, social issues.. etc...

Hi! I joined this forum over the weekend and have found it brilliant and everyone is so friendly and welcoming!

All the kids eating the dinner that I dished up without too much fuss! A cup of tea that I didn't have to make! Reading threads like this that make me

Thank you!

Sooze ; Thank you so much for your reply! I think you speak sense, not rambling! I see exactly what you mean about juggling the needs of one and what is best for the whole family! Yup, he is in year 3. Although apparently school isn't much of an issue, they have only had a couple of issues there, it just seems to be his sisters! He is also manipulative, easier with his Dad who suffers with severe clinical depression (and was also told that he probably has AS too when we went for the consultants appointment for Ben! At this point the consultant called me brave!). Dad and Ben just seem to clash all the time and sometimes its hard to work out who the adult is! Like tonight, Ben wanted to watch the Richard Hammond thing on BB2 as he went to bed, fine no issue, but his remote didn't work.. I asked M (Dad) to go up to see if he could get it working.. after listening to the argument I went up, asked M to get me spare batteries and I calmed ben down explaining that it was an issue with the batteries and him shouting at me was not necessary and not appropriate I was trying to fix the problem. The reason for the row? Ben had not handed M the remote as he was doing as I had told him and getting ready for bed.. M just couldnt see that he was doing as he was told, he was not wasting m's time or being difficult.. Argh, see now I have rambled.. quite a skill of mine!

LOL TY Bid... So its ok to admit that Im no Saint when it comes to lifein general all the time then? I do get cross, I do think that you are right, that he has to see the same as anyone that actually its not all hunky dory and that sometimes things are completely out of order and the consequence of that is that Mummy loses her temper... I tried to be perfect, but I failed so miserably I learnt to not bother trying and to use my energy doing something useful! Thanks for the welcome and thanks more than that for being lovely!!! Oh and FTR, I often do things completely wrong, not only re the AS but regarding pretty much everything, and I would far rather someone told me!

WOW, thanks! baddad: If he gets angry/frustrated than that is fine, its a part of life and something that comes with having kids! I wont have anyone hurting anyone else, its not necessary and its not nice. We have a time out stair, and if his (or one of the others) behaviour is unacceptable enough (ie something violent that has hurt someone) then they are removed to their room to calm down.. He has always grown up with consequences.. I have always tried to keep sanctions "immediate" rather than something that will take effect later, but its not always possible.. I must admit to getting cross and angry with him on more than one occasion, but have tried really really hard not to recently.. Although I will say something like "I am really really sad that you have done this, you have hurt your sister, you have broken something that is not yours" bid: Thank you! That seems so simple, yet something that I hadn't thought of.. s'pose "tidy your room" is more than a little vague.. loving the idea of pictorial stuff laminated! Something I would have had in abundance for the kids I worked with, spose I need to think more about what I would do when I was teaching for things like this.. Thank you both!

Can anyone help? I am willing to try pretty much anything at this point in time! Ben has 2 younger sisters (Hazel aged 5 and Fern aged 4) and he can be SO aggressive towards them for no apparent (to me) reason. Its like a light switch, he can be loving and hugging them, talking to them really nicely then all of a sudden he will explode in a fit of rage, he has been known to pick up Fern and almost throw her accross the room.. I have tried asking him WHY or WHAT causes it, but he doesn't know. When I asked the consultant for any ideas to help I was told that it was because Ben was seeing things in a different way, that I had to see things in the same way and to "not let him have everything his own way, but make sure that he has his own space all the time and keep his sisters out of his way." It's not that I disagree with this, but I'm not sure HOW to do it itms? We only have a small 3 bed house with 1 living room, ben has his own room (which is just so untidy and he cant/wont tidy it and getrs upset if I do it for him) so what do I do? I can't see any obvious triggers... Any ideas?

Hope its ok to ask advice from you all as honestly I am feeling a little lost.. Ben was given his dx of "High functioning Aspergers" on Friday and the consultant said that he would be writing a report and including some recommendations. This is all very well and good, but Im not really sure what I shoudl be doing itms? I have taught in special ed and have been on lots of different courses about asd, as and other difficulties, BUT its all SOOO different being a parent! I have asked on another forum and been given some good advice as far as telling the school and the SENCO. I wrote Ben's teacher a note this morning as I couldn't see him and I have been told that I have to wait to see the SENCO until next week as it's parent teacher evenings and I have to wait to see if she has any appointments left to see her before I book one.. which is fine.. I can wait.... I have waited 8 years for someone to listen to me enough to take me seriously about his "Benisms"... Someone else mentioned DLA, but what do I do or what CAN I do to help him???

Congratulations!

Thank you all!

Thanks BM!!

My 8 year old son does this, has done since he was really tiny. He was only given the dx on Friday.. I dont know whether this helps you or not! I know today he has picked it really badly and it does look more like a burn..

Hi hunni! I really really hope that this makes life so much better for J.. The way the last school has behaved is disgraceful! Hopefully with a happier and more settled him it will make life easier for you too with less worry etc.. Suzi

Hi to everyone! Im never sure what to write in an introduction post, I always either write too much or never enough! I do know a few of you from other places which is cool, I don't feel totally like the new girl! My 8 year old son was given the dx of Aspergers on Friday (as was my husband after talking to the consultant! who labelled me "brave!") and I'm not quite sure where to go next and what to do, so Im here to find out more, get some more ideas and share the joys and not so joys of Aspergers! I have had a fair bit of training in teaching children with ASD, Aspergers and a range of other issues as I spent a few years teaching children with special needs in special schools, but its SOO different being a mum, told a dx and handed a few bits of paper, being told that he will see us again in another 6 months (which is not till November which is quite good going I have been told!) I also have 2 lovely princesses who are nearly 4 and 5!