Mum of 3

<'> Look after yourself X

Bid, you are soooo clever!!! The dress looks beautiful-As good as (better than!) new! All that hard work surely deserves a bell tent!

Yes, And his point is?..... Tell DD1 that this is THE ultimate yoga hangout...get her a book of yoga poses and she can 'yog' in the tent to her heart's content! And as for making it all pretty...doesn't he know how happy this will make you?...and we all know a happy mummy makes a happy family! Don't give up!!!

It was great...really huge, and airy with the sides rolled up to let the breeze in...BUT would you believe it, I forgot to take any photos!!!! I kept meaning to, then the kids wanted me, or DH did, or I couldn't find the camera...you know what it's like...but I did take a few of the kids playing inside and out, so I'll find a way of getting them up here, and you'll have to look beyond the kids and at the tent! Alternatively, it was so good we're planning to do it all again next week, so I'll be sure to do some then! I got it from a dutch company...obelink.co.uk...but we had to translate the site!

I need to look back through the 18 (!) pages of this thread to see waht you did, but if it works...I'm in!

G and BB slept till 8.30 on Sunday morning on their airbeds! This despite the dawn chorus 'turned up to 11', which woke me at 4.30, then every cockrel in West Yorkshire trying to out-do each other for the next hour!!!

You probably know this already, so I apologise in advance if I'm telling you what you already know, but hanging the dress on the line overnight will really help with any odours (the dew moistens it just enough to 'wash' it, I think), and then leaving it in sunshine should help to bleach out some of the stains. Also, bicarbinate of soda is good for odours...could you cover the offending areas in (dry) bicarb and leave it for a bit, see if they get any better?

Don't want to teach my Grandmother to suck eggs, so forgive me if you'd already thought of this, but when you've cut off the buttons, and sewn on the velcro/poppers, sew the buttons back ontop of the button holes so they look done up.

Thanks for all your replies. T G's teacher has since talked to the SENCO and been told the same thing, so we're all in agreement... But I went for a Paed visit yesterday, as part of G's multi-agency diagnosis, and he said that, when they all meet to make the diagnosis in August, they may or mey not diagnose ASD, but all the people involved will discuss his needs, and will get together at that point to write a Statement! I said I didn't think the Statement was dependent on the diagnosis, and he said no, it's not, but in some cases, when a Statement is necessary, it's easier to get it done while all the professionals are together and discussing that child. This all seems to make very good sense to me, although it sounds a bit too good to be true, so I'm not holding my breath! Will post more when I find out more. Meanwhile, thanks everyone.

Oh No! Your poor fingers! I bet you've got RSI now Is that the jacket done, now, then? What are you going to tackle next?

No, it's not nylon it's lovely cream canvas. We're having a trial run tomorrow to make sure everything works and we've not forgotten to get anything vital! I love the idea of making dream catchers...need to find my embroidery threads (see? vital supplies I nearly forgot right there!!!!)

Well done Tally...Best of luck in your new job(s).

First of all, I'm sure you're not alone, and your DS behaves well with you, so you know he's able to behave acceptably in some contexts...the trick is to extend that into other areas, where your influence is less strong. I think it's significant that you point out that '...at home, we have firm and consistent boundaries.' The subtext of this seems to be that there aren't such boundaries at school. If this is the case, then they need to be doing something about it. I believe that schools that bring parents in to deal with their childrens' behaviour are, quite frannkly, passing the buck. Teachers are trained professionals, and part of there job is to ensure that they are making school a child-friendly place where children are taught how to learn and to behave acceptably, and also to create an atmosphere where behaviour such as you describe is simply not necessary, let alone not acceptable. It is unfair of the teacher to expect you to be able to keep your son in check when you're not even there. From your post, it sounds as if this teacher is trying to impose discipline from above 'she's very scary...the other children don't like her...she tells them off...' This is not an efficient way of disciplining any child, but with our children it will backfire badly (I speak from hard-won experience!). It sounds as though your DS is trying to deal with being in a place where he doesn't feel safe (he thought the assistant said he was 'lying'...this suggests he doesn't trust the staff to be 'on his side' and support/help him out), and his behaviour, such as mimicking the teacher, could be a nervous reaction. If she's really scary, he could feel threatened when she's telling others off-especially if this usually sets her into a bad mood with others. Is it possible that his 'mimicking' is simply a form of acholalia, which comes out when he's under stress? Certainly, it sounds as though this teacher needs to sort out her own practices, and look at how her behaviour might influence the children's. If it were me, I'd be speaking to the head Teacher about all these issues, and let him/her decide if he/she is satisfied that the teacher is doing things right. Having said all this, I don't think you should let on to your little one any hint of any negative feelings you have for the teacher. Hints of your own feelings are coming through to me in your post, and I do wonder if your DS thinks you don't like his teacher. If this is the case, he will find it very difficult to understand why you expect him to show her respect. No matter what your views on her as a teacher, you must show your DS that you stand with the school on matters of discipline...this will help him to behave at school as he does at home. He should know that you don't find his behaviour acceptable.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Tea lights in painted jam jars...I Luuurve that! And I could use some of my new fabric bits to make a patchworky pocketty thing...Great tip! Can we make pretty wind chimes from anything I wonder??? Probably not if we want them to sound good!!! OOOh..Got some more rugs off t'internet for next to nowt...hope they're here by Friday And need to start collectinng great camping recipees. Mmmmm.... I Reeeelly want a little stove to go inside but boring hubby thinks it might be a fire hazard. Huh! He's making mild noises about needing a trailer to cart all my tent stuff around in, but I don't care...if there's no room for all the tent stuff in the car we'll take the kids out and make them run alongside!! No camping on a hillside for us... ...It's a round tent so we'd all roll into the next county!!!

So, we decided we needed to get the boys out into the 'great outdoors' more, and we don't have a garden, so what could we do?...Buy a 5metre (Count 'em...5!) bell tent to lounge around in and go camping all through the summer!! I've been to the big shop that sells all the Swedish stuff and got some fabby Solar Powered lights in the sale, and some dead cheap rugs to make it nice and cozy...Oh! and some fabby Kilim floor cushions I've wanted for ages reduced from £25 to £9.99!!! And today I got some fabric samples to make bunting with-about 25 squares for a pound!!! So, I'm getting really excited about going out into the great outdoors and communing with nature. (Only to begin with we're only going to camp on my Mum's field in case it all goes horribly wrong and we can slope off indoors and get into a nice warm bed ) Any tips anyone? How can I make it even more FUN and FUNKY?

Thanks, Karen. I've pm'd you. Sally, a couple of things you said really struck a chord...it makes sense that he's not able to plan how to start with drawing and writing...processing all those things at once, as well as thinking about the physical things of controlling the pencil and holding the paper still...all these things fit with the way he behaves around drawing/ writing. He is very reluctant to write anything...last night, we did some school work, and he read about 6 pages of his reading book (good for him-I was pleased with this ), but would only draw 1 picture-of a goat (which he copied from his reading book-he seems much happier copying), and then wrote 'goat' as 'taog', but couldn't see he'd written goat backwards, even when I put the printed word next to his. This is the first time I 've seen him reverse like this...he's also recently been mixing up b and d, whereas previously he was fine on these (I know because it surprised me that he'd 'got it'!). I will ask for him to be looked at by an OT as part fo his assessment. Also, recognising friends...I mentioned to his teacher that he didn't know alot of the names of his classmates, and she seemed surprised. She sat down with him in a group and went through some photos and he knew everyone, so we put it down to him not wating to tell me. Now I'm wondering if it's because he doesn't know them out of context...when he's in the classroom with Teech, and the photo album, he can say their names...see them in the street, especially out of uniform, and he knows he knows them, vaguely, but can't name them. I think you're right about them putting his lack of progress down to ASD...I think I've been doing the same...even before a dx! Maybe it's time to challenge that view...

Because he's in Reception, it's a 'continuous Curriculum', where the children have open access to a wide range of activities, and some activities run by the staff, that they encourage the children to join. As far as I can see, there are areas that G just doesn't choose to access, such as painting, sticking, 'free'writing, anything to do with other children...Basically, he'll just sit quietly and look at books all day (he can't read yet-says he doesn't see the point when he can tell the story from the pictures!)

Thanks for that idea. I'm hoping we won't have to do it again, but if we do, that's a good idea.

<'> Glad your DS had a good time anyway, Dana...Hopefully, the other kids will ask him about it at school today.

People get so upset about their weddings, don't they? I totally agree with the others, you've made entirely the right decision. I think family often think that we're too protecting of our ASD children, and that they'd 'grow out of it' or 'get used to it' if we just did the things with them, instead of 'protecting ' them. It's something that must be very difficult to understand if you've only come across NT children. Would it help to write a letter to your uncle and explain it in a letter? Sometimes, people can understand our point of view better when they have time to re-read things and mull over what's been said. Also, you're able to re-draft and make sure that you explain things unemotionally and unambiguously, without being sidetracked like you are in a conversation. A letter, followed by a great, congratulary telegram on the day (can you still do those?), and a good gift, and they'll have nothing to complain about. <'>

Thankyou so much everyone. Your support and understanding means so much to me <'> <'> <'> I think I've taken this really badly...I've been off work with stress for 3.5 months, and I was thinking I was strong enough to go back next week, but yesterday I just couldn't rouse myself from how down I was feeling, and I just didn't seem able to do anything. However, I did spend alot of time with the boys, playing and cuddling and having stories. I made them a tent in my bedroom using my (beautiful, French, patchwork ) quilt, and they got torches and backpacks and faught the bears . Then we went out for a run round and G played with his water pistol (the toy I got him on Saturday), and told everyone very proudly that Mummy had got it for him for being so good on the obstacle course. He was pleased as punch, and seems to have suffered no ill-effects ... although he did say this morning that he could think of nothing he'd liked about the sports day (we were reviewing the weekend to think of things to tell Teech). I don't think we'll be going again Anyway, thanks to my 'go slow' yesterday, the house looks as though it's been burgled, so I'd better go and do something about it! (where's the 'hoovering' emoticon?)

Any suggestions for targets for a boy who picks and chooses from the curriculum, won't use a vis timetable, hates reading, writing, drawing, painting, and has small and large motor problems! (). At his last meeting, we set a target that he would do one thing a day that he would go and show to an adult (this is because he regularly goes 'walkabout' in school, looking for adults to chat with!), but I don't think he's done this, because whenever I've asked him if he's shown anyone his work, he looks at me as if I'm mad ( ). This target was supposed to get him to start and finish things in the classroom, but now I think it's just a bit too subtle...it also relies on him actually wanting to share his acievements and recognising that an adult will praise him for showing his work...I don't quite think he's there yet. He also has problems with the transition from home to school,and I have huge problems with him in the mornings, so we put a target i place that he would come to school early and have a job to do first thing. This too fizzled out very quickly. I think it's too reliant on an adult to set him up with something...it's also not very 'smart', is it? He also has targets to do with joining a group for playing together with an adult, and joining a small group for large motor skills outside. Again, these are heavily reliant on the adult actually doing it, and knowing what to do to bring him on once he's in the group! So, if any of you can think of any better things we can put in place, please come forward! He's 5 and a half, by the way, and in Reception.

Thank you so much for your advice I'm having another meeting with Teech on Thursday so I'll let her know all this, I think knowing that funding is to be provided by the school in the first instance might mean that we make those targets really smart!

Have had our village sports day today. G was really excited to be entered for the races, and the prize table was literally groaning with booty for the winners. The trouble is, with all the noise, confusion, smells, sounds, etc, G was in total sensory overload before he'd even started. He was 'squirming', and clinging to me as we went up to the starting line for the first race. The woman starting the races was very kind, but from a different school, so didn't know G. He started crying as soon as she started to tell the children what to do, but he insisted he wanted to carry on...so I watched him, sobbing his heart out, stumbling down the track after all his 'school mates', then, at the finish line, when he'd come last, he stood there waiting to be handed a card ( which they gave to 1st and 2nd place, so not him!), then broke into fresh tears when he realised he hadn't won! This happened race after race, with the tears getting more and more, but him still insisting he wanted to take part, as he so desparately wanted to win one of those fabby prizes.. All day, I had to endure the other parents looking at us, and 'well meaning' comments such as "He's not a very good loser is he?"..."Don't worry, he's just not used to it...it's because he's the eldest, so he's not seen any brothers or sisters doing it"..."Why is he crying?"-(Where do I start on that one?). Most of the parents just hung back and watched us from a distance. I felt like the alternative entertainment. . In the end, when I'd had to go and extracate him from the scramble nets in the obstacle course after the race was over, I took him to the toy tent and bought him a little toy as a prize for being a really good tryer and persevering...We talked loads throughout the day about all the things he's brilliant at, which he would win at if they had a competition, and how proud we are of him, etc...But nothing could make up for not winning one of those shiny new toys like all the other boys got... I feel like s**t. Why does it always have to be so hard?

Hi. I've just had a meeting with G's teacher. At the last meeting, she put him on School Action Plus (The 'Plus' is because he has already had some input from SALT). We wrote some targets for him, although I know for a fact that these have not been kept up (or even started in some cases!). At the meeting yesterday, we talked for a long time about the various meetings that have been set up for his multi-agency assessment, which meets at the end of August to decide on a diagnosis. I was also keen to discuss how far G is able to cope with general classroom life without adult support...it seems as though he is unable to access most of the curriculum without help, and even then, is allowed to pick and choose what he does, and only spend seconds on activities he's not too keen on...like writing! I explained that I have huge concerns about what is going to happen to him as he moves up through the school and goes into classes with fewer adults to support him. It looks to me as though he's going to need some 1-1 support in place very soon. The teacher agreed with me, that he could do with some designated support for some of the time, and then said: 'Oh, but we'll be getting this in August, won't we, assuming they say he's got AS, they'll give him his statement then.' Is she right? I don't think she is...as far as I understand it, the dx is just that-a diagnosis that will tell us why he is as he is and which areas he is stronger/weaker in. I'm hoping it will also give us some pointers of things to do to help him in areas he finds particularly challenging. But, as far as I'm aware, it will then be up to the school to go through the SN stages (does he need 3 review meetings before they go for a statement?), and press for a statement separately. She's also under the impression that a statement will automatically come with funding for support, but again, I don't think that's the case. I believe the statement may, or may not include extra support time, depending on need. So who's right...and what does the diagnosis 'give' in terms of actual, practical help/support? All advice gratefully recieved!