justine1

Forgot to add,I think with obesity on such an increase I think most people would not CHOSE to feed their kids junk,in my case when Dan has not eaten for days on end Mcds(the only junk he eats) seems like the last resort and he does only get this every two weeks,in fact due to snow he has not had this for over a month,he has been living on cereals!!!!Generally I think parents are stuck between healthy eating/balanced diet,feeding their kids to much or in my case trying not to let the child fade away from not eating!!!!

I just wanted to add something to this debate.I really,really think there is a huge difference between a "fussy eater",like those who dont eat veg or like junk food and those kids who stick to one food for months on end!Fussy eaters will often eat what ever else is available if they chose not to eat whats on the dinner table whereas kids like mine would rather starve than eat anything but what they always eat!!! I think I was definatley a fussy eater,I hated all pasta(spag bol,mac cheese,lasagna) I would rather go hungry than eat that!I also hated pizza,my mum made pizza from scratch-dough and all!!!In fact my mum is a brilliant cook,I know it sounds bias but she can cook anything from virtually nothing,and she could feed an army from very little,she would often cook for up to 25 kids during holidays as she would bring kids over from the local orphanage to swim at our house (In south africa.)So my mum never wavered in that what we got on our plates is what we need to eat,I used to go hungry.Both me and my brothers had severe milk alergies and my mum is a health freak so we never had take aways,we never ate sweets as most had colorants which brought on my asthma attacks,my mum did say when I was a year old I ate her tuna sandwich which had raw onion in ad she always remembers it as she has never seen any other child do this(she has worked with kids all her life.)Due to my eating "problems" I was extremely skinny but was never dangerously so.To cut a long story short as I reached my teenage years I ate everything trying new foods and now I am definatley not fussy and have no issues with any food. To come back to my own children:my eldest son weaned early he was a very hungry baby and I made his food from scratch(no bottled stuff) he was also breastfed until the age of two,he can eat anything and he eats very good sized portions(he is skinny.)He eats curry,chinese,pasta,chicke EVERYTHING!!!! So when Sam came along and I started weaning him at 6 mths,he was not interested in food at all,he started eating pureed apples at about 10mths and couldnt feed himself,when I went to a healthcheck at 18 mths he still never ate on his own.At two all he would eat is cheese sanwich and an african soup,he also occasionaly liked bland porridge.He contined eating this way until he was four.He seemed to improve when he started full time at school,trying new foods.Now he has gone back a bit and mostly eats peanut butter/cheese sanwiches and "dry"spaghetti.He is really good with fruit and especially loves exotic stuff like pinapple,mango,avacodo and loves apples always has.He does not eat junk,he only eats the cheese off a cheese pizza,he hates nuggets ,doesnt eat sausages or sausage rolls and rarely eats chips(usually if he is hungry.) Then Daniel who is really,really underwight,he will not eat and when he does its cereals.He did eat his dads spag bol,which I would freeze the mince,he ate this everynight for 8 mths.His dad doesnt live with us,and he went away for three months last year,so I have often tried refusing to give him the food,placing what we were eating in front of him and sending him to bed with nothing.After the three months were up I had made 0 progress and my son was so weak and thin that all he did was sleep.I went to the GP and they said I should just feed him what he likes,even if its unhealthy,I got this same advice when Sam was two.Unlike Sam,Dan does not even ask for food when he is hungry and when I ask him or put food in front of him he will say "its all finished" or "it will make me sick" he even went through a stage of saying "I will get fat" as he is not a school I dont even know where he got that idea from,even more so that he is seriously underweight.Dan also likes exotic fruit and at the moment he eats 1/4 of a watermelon everyday.We all eat at a table at dinner time and it is relaxing,I dont put pressure on any of them,but I do try encourage them to try food. Neither Sam or Dan like sweet things,though Dan likes crisps(only walkers worcester sauce,YUK!!!!)At christmas only me,my eldest and my baby ate trifle,well the baby ate most of it,first time he tried it!!!! My youngest is nearly 18mths and he is similar to my eldest,in that he loves all food,he did wean late though.He is much heavier and healthier looking than Dan and when I pick him up my arms hurt but with Dam I can hold him up with one finger(not that I would its a little unsafe.) So,while it is very likely they will "grow out of" eating this way,I know its nothing I have done as a parent,esp as I am on a budget and hate to throw food away and cant afford to make separate meals for each child.I am also not saying every child in this situation has AS/ASD. am saying that my children would go hungry if they didnt eat the foods they chose to eat,and I will always have the foods there for when they are ready to try them.

I could never make that decision not to eat meat After all our teeth our designed to chew,rip,tear through meat.I did watch that HUgh whats his face programme on C4 on the chickens and while I thought it was cruel,I can only afford cheap chicken and can't live without chicken.I dont eat much red meat,usually twice a week (quick fry steaks and mince in spag bol),I grew up not eating much red meat as my mum and brother have colon problems and meat caused them to double up in pain. I have to eat it cause I suffer from anemia,I know certain veg (esp. spinach which I love) also contains iron but most GP recommend meat.I eat chicken twice a week (stew and roast) and fish once a week,the other three nights I make food with no meat like veg pasta bake and veg only stir fry(sometimes few prawns!) I know there are usually all these food scares,mad cow,foot and mouth etc.but life is one BIG risk.I know last year on the news they mentioned apples may cause cancer and other fruit and veg have been connected to alzhemeirs.I think its all a load of nonsense,there are people in developing countries who live till the age of 100 + yrs and they dont sit worrying about what they eat. Sorry to offend anyone but like I say those animals are meant to be eaten and I am ready to eat them

I agree with the above info.Instead of making a move and possibly get rejected,just explain that you have got things wrong in the past and wanted to know if she likes you and that you like her.Tell her that either way you want to be her friend.My brother lived in a house with 15 other young adults,for a year, he was good friends with 3 girls but dated other girls from outside the house in that year. He was always there for the girls in the house,they would talk to him about boy trouble,family problems everything,then he found out one of the girls living in the house liked him.....he married her three years later and they have been happily married for 5 years and expecting their second baby. So sometimes it is worthwhild being a friend,you never know where it will lead

Hi It was very uncomfortable viewing.As these people have so many other pressures to deal with I think its disguisting they are made to feel this way.While I was watching I just kept thinking what goes through a young persons mind to go through a brick through someones window?And where are the parents when all this is going on?I know people work and some parents are unaware of how their children behave,but I still think people should take more responsibility. When we walk to school,I always tell my boys not to walk too close to cars in case they get scratched accidentely,it seems like a small thing but they need to show respect for other peoples property.I have noticed another child always touches the cars and when there has been frost the child makes hand prints and even writes on the windows,not just one car nearly 10!!!!So how can the mum not notice?Does she think its funny???? Another thing is its seems the police are just not doing enough.I really think the government need to wake up and see these ASBO's and community service orders are not working.Tougher sentincing is the only way forward.I think young people who go to jail/young offenders may be better off staying in there until they achieve something positive such as GCSE's or A levels.By getting people into the prisons and encouraging young people to reach their full potential.Yes,this would be "boring" in ther eyes and maybe what their parents have been trying to achieve but unlike at home there is nowhere to run,nowhere to hide in prison so they have to face the realitys. Why is it that the government seems to tip toe around such people?Why are we left feeling guilty when repremanding "naughty" kids???It never used to be this way and communitys were better because of it.Police are so scared of being harmed(thought thats there job?) or sued.Its absolutley ridiculous. I left South Africa in 2002,it has become a lawless country,its rare to even see a police officer and when you do they seem to be off duty,drinking.partying etc. cant be bothered to help the community.I came here thinking its a safer place to raisemy children and as a general rule it is.I know this is a first world country but it seems every year since I arrived things are getting worse.Just look at the towns,youths spit and swear talk loadly and push past people,and this is during the daytime,not to mention night time antics.Yes,I was young (in fact I am only 27)and yes I was "naughty" teen but I would never throw a rock at a car or in someones window or spray paint someones door!!!!! I have four boys and I tell them if you do wrong you go to prison,I dont know how I will be in that situation but I pray that I will shop my child to the police if they did wrong cause thats the responsible thing to do.My eldest is nine and we live on a safe estate often he asks to go to a park etc. I always say "no" I will go with,I do trust him but you never know what kids are capable of.I do let them go to the park which I can see from my sitting room as soon as I dont see them I am outside in a flash. Anyway...these are just my thoughts.

Thank you Nobbynobbs and Jsmum,so I think its agreed that the treats/rewards should be separate,this helps me alot thank you for that.Also will have a look into the timers you suggested Jsmum,thank you <'>

I am getting so annoyed with the school,why do they only let us know at 7.30am if the school is shut Sam asks everynight before bed if they going to school,but got no idea what to say,tried explaining that we dont know until morning but he is getting annoyed.Also my eldest takes his bath first,at 7.15am,so he starts getting dressed then I have to say by the way you not going again I think I will just get up late then if we arrive late to bad,we never been late for school,not even once,so there can be a first time

Oh Bless Sam was the same when he started,he was so eager to stay all day especially because he wanted to take his lunch like his older brother,and he also complained how tired he was and asked everyday for me to "make it weekend" I am sure she will get used to the loooooooong school hours

Thanks BD.No way will I give him extra time,no matter how angry he gets I did suspend his play after this anger and he actually took the "punnishment" quite well and find something else to keep himself occupied.I just think he can see his brother going for longer and he doesnt know why,his brother also gets extra time on weekends providing he is good at home and does all his homework whereas Sam does not behave at school (he did manage one week and got his extra time) and during XMAS holidays he was brilliant so also got "rewarded" extra 10min a day.So is it fine to add on this extra time for when he behaves?OR am I confusing the issue and therefore should just stick to the 30min regardless?I think the other problem is his older brother "takes over" when trying to show him how to play,this really makes him angry and today Josh was chewing while howing him which he hates,so I reckon this is what "set him off"Thanks again,you are right as usual

HI I started letting Sam play on the computer in December,he is six,we don't have any other consoles just a computer.Anyway,his older brother gets an hour so decided Sam can have 30min to start off.My problem is that he gets angry when the time is up,today he started throwing things including a heavy wooden chair.I have tried a timer as a visual reminder,I have tried warning him when he has 5min,showing him the time on the bottom of the screen,I am not sure what else to do he seems to dissapear into the game and I cant get him out

Hi I got him the grobag and fleece all in one Pj's.It arrived today and he is having a nap,he has been sleeping for two hours straight,which he usually sleeps for 20min then wakes up. Thank you everyone <'> Love you guys so understanding

Me again,also to mention my son was also told he cant go out at playtimes,but I told them after the first day this happened,that this is not fair and its illegal to exclude him from other activities.They then made a "compromise" by letting him out half playtime and then indoors the other half,but when he does come in he is allowed to chose a friend and play lego together.I was'nt happy at first but it is working for my son and thats the main thing.I stressed to the school that he loves to be outdoors and his behaviour will be worse if he doesnt get fresh air.

Hi again I also think your sons school did'nt do the exclusion "by the book."As I mentioned above my son was also excluded twice,and like you I also feel he is not in the right environment,even though my sons school are not giving him support (still awaiting ed phsych assesment)I feel the exclusion were fair in that my son had harmed children on both occasions, I cant expect other children to feel unsafe at school cause of my sons behaviour(even though he has AS.) Firstly,the school head called the LA before calling me to collect my son.Legally she/he has to phone LA to confirm how long the exclusion will be based on what the child has done wrong.First one they said two days but the second time they said a week,but as it was nearly Xmas holiday the head said she wants two days.She would then phone me to collect him and tell me how long the exclusion is for. Secondly,when I came to fetch him the head gave me a letter which I had to sign(they keep a copy and I get one ),it is a general exclusion letter with ammendments made with my sons details,details of what he did wrong and the number of days the exclusion is for,as well as the date he will return. Lastly,when he did return he went for a re-intergration meeting where they ask if he understood why he was being excluded and their expectations of him. So if these steps were not followed then you should definatley complain.The letter is especially important as it will help when you go for a statement.Also I dont know if you do this already,but my son know has a diary(which I provided)where the teacher or TA will write about his day positive or negative,even "minor" things like going under tables can highlight my sons "problems" at school and again can support a statement. Anytime you want a chat just PM me.Sounds like we both in very similar situation,and I am still new to this as my son was only dx'd in Dec,though I have been here since September.Take care.

Thank you everyone for cheering me up

Oh Tally,he he

Thank you both.I forgot to also mention that I had cut my finger on Monday got two stitches So I do feel little sorry for myself.Good to have a moan on here.Tanks again for listening!

Hi Theresa When I lived with my ex he would "force" all three boys to eat what was put in front of them,thats the way he was raised.We eat lots of rice,Sam would gag on this every night we ate rice,because my ex forced him he would have tears streaming down his face,it was so awful Sam still wont eat rice and definatley wont force him to eat anything.If Sam wants to try something he will if he gags then I will leave it.He used to eat cheese everything,sandwiches/lasagna etc. ,now he eats loads of different foods,he never even had birthday cake until two years ago.Last night we had rice and steak,Sam loves steak but had it with spaghetti with loads of...cheese!I have noticed when he wants to try something new he smells it alot and feels the texture then tries it.Dont give up trying new foods but I think he can decide when and when he will try.

Hi everyone I am feeling really down today!!!I have never,ever been a lucky person but as I get older my luck keeps getting worse.I hate complaining cause I know how lucky I am in the "greater scheme of things" but when things go down hill for me they REALLY GO DOWN Of course this time of year is pretty much the same for everyone,paying bills catching up with payments after christmas,plus the weather Well,my problem is I have no luck with electrical appliances (mainly vaccuum cleaners) I go through approx.4 each year.I tried expensive ones with guarentees in the past and just a month after it expires it breaksdown.Now my washing machine(which is only 16 months old) has given up I managed to drain the water out carefully to get the clothes out,so they dont smell,but I really dont know what to do.I have no money at the mo,so I got to options: 1.I could wait,using laundrette in the meantime,and buy a new one in two months time.(£250) OR 2.As above but get the repair man out(£120 all inclusive "no hidden costs") I do worry with my track record if I go for option 2 it will breakdown again after a month then need to spend same as 1,so confused and so annoyed!

.....also Sam is double jointed.When he was 18months he could do "forward rolls" or "tumbles" (dont know the word) he could also put his legs behind his neck by the time he was 2 and would then shuffle on his bottom,thought its "normal" at the time,he loved doing it!Also his dad is West African and its known that they are prone to being double jointed (two of my brother-in laws are) there are many West african contorsionists(excuse the spelling) who perform in the UK.

My three year old sits like this but he does it at the dinner table too.He wants to sit straight but I can see him getting uncomfortable and tell him to sit the way he likes.He also stands up alot,does'nt sit to often,I would say 70% of the time he is standing:watching TV eating you name it,10% he sits and 20% that would be when he eventually sleeps at 11pm!(Don't know if he is on the spectrum yet though!)

Hi welcome to the forum.Yes,it does sound like Aspergers but as mentiond above,he needs a full assesment.My son had two appts with a specialist ASD Paediatrician.The first session was 1hr she asked me loads of questions on how Sam was as a baby leading up to how he is now.Sam's younger brother was present and she was able to observe his lack of interaction,she also asked him a couple of general questions and she again could see something was'nt quite "right." We then went for a second appt,originally scheduled for this month but moved it because Sam had been excluded from school twice so he was put as "urgent",this appt was 1hr 45min she did ask little more detail about Sam some questions reapeated,then spent 1hr doing certain activities (saying opposites,things that are similar,he had to look at a block sequence briefly and then build that same sequence,and she asked questiond about his friends school etc) She told us right then that he has AS and gave me info and contacted his school so they can get ed phsych in etc. So as you can see its quite a thorough process.I wish you luck in getting to the bottom of things <'>

Nice and peaceful here The boys have been outside the whole morning,all the local kids came round begging for them to play,our house over looks a park,so they went there to build a snowman,I did some studying and peeked outside every so often to make sure all is well. We have'nt had anymore snow but they say could come later and maybe even through until next week I have two essays due so really need kids to be back at school so I can concentrate Some of the mums said yesterday that people were getting extra shopping as there was panic over the poor weather. Anyway enjoy it everyone

cat

White

It started here at about 7pm.At 6.30 I looked out and there was nothing at all,I told the boys they must go to bed normal time as its not snowing anf they might need to go to school.Then Sam looked out at 7.30pm (just before bed)and said"mum you telling porkys its snowing!" I looked out and the cars were covered and it was coming down so heavy,actually never seen it this bad!!!!