Sammysnake

I got Beth an Eye Toy for her PS2 for Christmas (we're always several years behind the technology, it makes it WAY cheaper). Anyhow, Eye Toy is like Kinect only much more basic. She's been jumping around her room swatting computerised creatures and heading TV footballs and after the first day was complaining it hurts to lift her arms! She's looking very hot and sweaty too which I feel can only be a good thing .

Hi Linseed and welcome to the site. This is a really friendly place full of encouragement and great advice. Sorry you haven't had a reply before now - with it being Christmas a lot of people are not on at the moment . This is my first visit here for a couple of weeks as things have been really hectic at home, I'm sure it'll start to get a bit busier soon . Sam

My daughter has incredible detail in imaginitive play - she's always coming up with games, stories and more recently jokes (she's 10 now). When she was very young the Health Visitor commented that she was remarkably advanced for her age in her use of imagination and from very small she could imagine an objedct to be something completely different, even if it wasn't related in any way to the thing she imagined it to be. She's always dressed up as different animals or characters, often making masks and costumes for herself and behaving in character. She does clearly know the difference between reality and imagination too though and also understands or at least trusts my judgement on when the play and costumes are appropriate and when they are not.

Just a sprinkling here - the kids were valiantly scraping every inch of the playground in an attempt to make a snowball . I and the rest of the school staff are really tired though - we could do with a snow day - just one please Lord!!

Really glad it's worked out well. I guess it's really difficult for anyone to know what to do for the best. I'm glad that SS responded to this report and that the SW was sensible and good enough at her job to immediately see there was nothing untoward and get the ball finally rolling on the support you're asking for. For once it seems to be working right. How many times do we hear of reports which are not followed up and real harm goes on unchecked. Being devil's advocate though, I don't know what else the neighbour could have done. It wouldn't have gone down well if they'd approached at the time to ask what was going on and if they ignored it and then there really was harm going on and they didn't help, it would be really upsetting. Some people are just trouble makers but there are others who really do mean well. I remember seeing a woman interviewed who lived next door to a child who was beaten and starved to death. She said things were clearly not right but she hadn't reported anything. Then again I guess there would be more in that case to have caused alarm than a one-off of a child having a battle in the street, hmmm lots of food for thought. I really hope you get some good support in place for you and your family now and that this neighbour turns out to be a 'means well' rather than a trouble maker .

Don't know anything about possible tests but just wanted to say 'hi Nicole' .

I had jaundice as a baby and am very NT, my daughter had no jaundice and has AS .

OK, this is weird. Just spoke to Beth about what the issue is with reading in class and she doesn't know, but she got one of those looks on her face which clearly showed there is some sort of issue and she was getting stressed just thinking about it. Beth is a brilliant reader and reads loads at home and always picks up a book as soon as we get into school(we arrive early because I work there). She is apparantly happy to take part in group reading in class and will read aloud to me no problems. She is reluctant to read to an adult in school but this could be because of having to stop one activity to go outside for reading. The main issue is she is spending time doodling instead of getting her book out to read independently when the reast of the class are sitting reading. She says she prefers to do something with her hands at that time. She says it's not that the class is distracting and feels that reading in another room wouldn't help. She doesn't know what the issue is. I asked what it feels like when it's time to read and she said "it's like really mild Tourettes, like something's trying to get out and you're trying to stop it". She doesn't know what 'it' is though. Any ideas? I suggested talking it through with an adult the next time they have a reading session as it may be easier for her to identify what's going on whilst it's happening. I explained that other children are noticing that she's not reading and it's not fair on them so it's something she will have to do but we will work together to find a way to make it more comfortable for her. She looked really unhappy that it's something that has to be followed up and had a 'shutting down' look that I haven't seen for some time. I'll chat to the teacher tomorrow but any ideas gratefully received .

Just come from my daughter's first Year 5 parent's evening and I'm over the moon. I knew she was feeling more settled from her general body language coming into and walking out of school, lack of tear-streaked face at hometime etc (dead giveaways!) and it was lovely to have that confirmed by the teachers. She is chatting to them more, enjoying PE (which used to be her idea of hell), she's happier to join in, seems more aware of her own needs and emotions and can control them more. Her literacy teacher said she loves having her in the lesson as she always has a very unique perspective on the texts which really makes the teacher think more deeply and she's not currently getting stressed about writing (she has millions of ideas but lots of problems getting it onto paper). I asked my daughter a while ago what she thought was making it easier and she said she didn't know but each year got easier(growing up I guess). The teachers said they didn't know what was different either but both of them talked about explaining changes in the usual timetable to her before it happens, letting her know when time is nearly up for completing a piece of work, giving her the option of extra time for longer written pieces so she can get down everything she wants to and not making her change seats in the classroom. Things like that are so simple and seem obvious but I know it's not always easy to do it in a classroom full of kids. I think they are really understanding her as an individual now, especially since the diagnosis (ie there is a reason for her stresses and it's not me imaginging it!) and they don't realise how vital those little supports are being. They've discussed other supports with her too but she says she doesn't need them. I'm really proud of the progress she's making every year in so many areas. I just need to have a chat with her now to find out why she doesn't like to read in class but even with that, the teacher says she needs to do the same as the other kids but wants to work with me to find out first if there is something that is making her uncomfortable and if there is a simple provision that can be made to help her do what she's being asked. They're not just saying 'get on with it and do what you're told'.

I'm going next weekend - let the crowds have it to themselves for opening weekend! I'm really excited and really hope they've done it well. I was really disappointed with The Half Blood Prince - they changed a lot of story from the book . Hope you have a good time.

Dear Frizz I am so sad for you that you met those awful people and heard the disgusting things they said about your girl. There is so much I would like to say but I know I'll start ranting as I am so upset by what happened to you and keep playing over in my head what I think would have happened if I had been there (let's just say it's not pretty ) Putting 'them' aside, I wonder if anyone recorded the play and if school could get you a copy. It would be lovely if you could see it again without those horrible people around and have a chance to really appreciate your daughter's great achievement.

In our school we have a few kids with a range of SEN and all of the other children are generally very accepting and accommodating. Most of the parents are fine too but there are sadly some exceptions. We had a lad join who has AS and some difficult behaviours. Sadly he joined a class with one of the not so nice parents attached. She started a hate campaign to get this child thrown out of school and I heard her using disgusting language to rant about him in the street in front of her own child. School were fantastic and held an open session to talk out all the concerns and explain about ASDs etc and really calmed things down. This lad's mum wanted to have a birthday party for her boy but was scared - school encouraged her to do it and to invite all the kids, including the one with the nasty mother. The party was a great success, the mum could see this was a child and not some sort of demon after all and things really settled down. I haven't heard her causing any trouble about him since. Some people are simply ignorant and won't care that missing out one or two kids in such a small group may be very distressing for the children. Sadly there's not much you can do about people like this, they're always out there. Hopefully this may instead be a case of a parent who doesn't understand ASD, didn't know what to do and was too embarrassed to ask. Some education for kids and parents might be very helpful. People fear the unknown but a little bit of education can make a massive difference. I hope it does in your boy's case.

I completely agree with Boy. In the school where I work the SENCo oversees paperwork and referrals, liaising with outside agencies etc but has no time to spend with individual children. It's the class teachers who know the kids so have a chat with them. It should be very simple to find a way to make eating lunch easier for your son - going into the hall a little earlier so it's quieter and he can eat with one or two friends before everyone else comes in or staying a little later at the end for the same reason, having a separate table with fewer children spaced out much more widely, eating in the classroom etc. Maybe a small club could be formed with those children allowed to eat together in a classroom whilst undertaking a fun activity. My girl goes to a chess club one lunchtime and the kids involved eat their lunch whilst they play - could take some of the focus off the food and therefore reduce his anxieties. Lots of this type of lunchtime club run in our school - choir, maths club, running club (eat before running!) etc.

Beautiful pictures, so intricate. My daughter is very into cats at the moment, I'll show her these when she gets home and I suspect she'll be designing her own shortly in a similar style in homage to your .

Had a great time at ours. Beth really is getting better every year at coping with things - this year there was no hood up and no hands over her ears!! She had a great time with the display plus eating a burger, hot dog, waffle and cream and a bag of sweets (she was big time hungry for some reason), getting thrown off a rodeo bull ride and shooting cork guns at ducks on a shelf. She was confident in the dark with me and talked herself out of getting upset when she kept missing the ducks. I was ever so proud of her. There was a disco too but she said it was too loud and asked if she could sit in the tented area outside. I thought it was excellent that she was able to identify her own solution to her problem. A very successful night - my girl really is growing up .

For several years we went to a big fireworks display at a private house where the kids were allowed to watch from inside through massive windows. That and a thick hood to muffle the bangs made it ok for my girl. Now she's gotten a little more used to the bangs so tonight we're outdoors at a bigger display with her hood up and both our hands over her ears!! We're all really looking forward to it .

Hi Amy, you're definitely not alone. I too always knew there was 'something' going on with my daughter although it seemed no one else saw it. Even my husband thought I was imagining things and just being overprotective and the paediatrician missed it the first time at age 5. The trouble is, generally it's only the mum who sees their child in a range of different circumstances and situations and can judge that their child's behaviour and responses are not quite the same as the majority. My husband only saw Beth when she was safe and relaxed with family - if he'd ever been to a birthday party with 50 other kids he would have seen a completely different side of her . Hang on in there. Not having a diagnosis didn't stop me researching everything I could to find strategies I could use to support Beth's areas of difficulty as I identified them. Even before I knew about AS I was breaking down directions into smaller chunks, teaching her rehearsal strategies to help her remember instructions, using visual prompts, translating facial expressions and body language for her etc. We finally got a diagnosis at age 9 and a half and it's been lovely to feel more relaxed - I'm not constantly questionning myself as to whether I'm imaginging it all and I don't have to battle with other people to make them believe me now. My husband is much more patient and understanding of Beth which is fantastic. She is academically very bright but struggles to write quickly enough and the diagnosis has made it easier for her school to justify allowing her to use a laptop for longer pieces of writing. Other than that, we're jogging on as we were before the diagnosis but at least I can now access support if and when we need it and it will make it much easier to access support at Secondary school. This forum has been amazing. Please ask any questions you have - whatever your experiences there'll be someone here who understands. Best wishes, Sam

Hi Jay and welcome. My daughter has just turned 10 and was diagnosed with AS earlier this year. We're looking into dyspraxia at the moment via the school. Hope you like it here, there's lots of excellent advice and people are really supportive. It'll be great to get your advice and experiences too. Sam

Yep, tell him now in a relaxed way and just let him ask whatever questions he wants. Beth had her diagnosis at 9 1/2 and was really relieved to get it. She asked a few questions for a few weeks but rarely mentions it now.

Hi again. Meeting was good - husband still has a job, hours and wages cut by 25% but it's enough to live on hallelujah! It's been a beautiful sunny day here and a lovely evening spent with my daughter at a Cubs campfire singing very silly songs. Some of the Scouts shared a bit of a rude song with us and guess which one Beth remembered and wanted to perform to daddy when she got home!! Enjoy the rest of your evening all and thanks for the good wishes Katemehomeagain. Sam

I can fully understand why you're feeling so overwhelmed and scared of how you're going to feel. When I lost my dad and it was coming to the first anniversary, mum and I started reliving the day remembering how we felt at each stage and all the detail of what happened. However, it wasn't quite as painful as it was when it first happened and we found that we got through it and it was a bit easier afterwards. It's possible to build the day up in your mind to be much worse than it has to be. Try to remind yourself that you've gotten through the worst - the loss and the adjustment to life without your nan. You loved her deeply and will always miss her but in my experience the pain gets less sharp after the first anniversary of everything has gone. I definitely agree that watching Eastenders is not a good idea at the moment - you have enough pain of your own to add to it with that of others, even those on TV which can feel just as real. I don't know your situation but if possible, I would suggest it's not doing you or your mum any good you trying to hide your feelings. It won't make her any more upset to know that you're hurting too - shared grief makes it easier on everyone. As to what to do on the day - do whatever you need to do. If that's a walk in the fresh air then do that or alone time in your room then do that. Discussing it beforehand with your family might be helpful so that they know if you want to be left alone and won't insist on spending time with you because they think that's what you need. I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Your nan must have been a completely incredible lady to have inspired such love for her. Try to focus on all your positive memories of her. Big hugs, Sam.

Thanks and good morning to you too. Don't know whether it will be a good day or not - husband's being made redundant and is off to a meeting this morning to discuss whether they can offer him any work on a reduced rate which will be enough to still pay the bills . Hope your's is a good one.

Thought I'd better rephrase myself. I totally agree with what others have said about encouraging participation in social events and creating opportunities for friendships. My daughter has always gone to birthday parties, initially with me going along to support her as she found them really quite difficult but as she's grown she is now much more able to cope with them and I keep out of the way! The only reason I said don't push it with this party is because of the trauma your daughter's been through with the hospital stuff. I thought it might be better to start smaller but certainly encourage her to go if she doesn't get too stressed about it. Trust your own judgement too as I think we usually know how far to push our kids. Good luck .

Maybe try sending each person who does the test the video that was linked on here a few days ago with one of the forum members expressing beautifully how AS makes him feel. I've put that on my Facebook page and have had an amazing response with lots of groups of my friends sharing it and discussing it. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/25395-you-tube-video-made-by-me-an-asd-person/page__p__296855__fromsearch__1#entry296855

Daughter sends one to each class mate so that's 28. At work and at church we've started to do a noticeboard where you send one card to encompass everyone there and then put a donation into a charity box to cover the money you've saved in not buying cards. It stops us all getting really tired hands writing cards backwards and forwards to one another and saves a few trees too. Lots of people agree that card sending can get out of hand and there's that danger of forgetting to send one to someone you receive a card from - deadly!!