zaman

Thanks everyone for your replies - I'm really interested to see how many of us are doing this. The reason that I started this thread was to see if any of the 'provens' about bilingual children are also true for ASD bilingual kids (the better linguistic abilities, improved memory, etc). But at 5, I don't think that I can say (he's good at maths, but others here have said the oppostite of their child - so its hardly a scientific bit of research!) When my son's speech was assessed it was done in both languages, and even though his vocabulary was quite advanced in both languages, where he falls down is the expressive (why, because, etc) stuff equally in both languages. An aside, but I read about a child who was bilingual (English/Chinese) and had dyslexia, but when he was tested was only dyslexic in English, as Chinese is written pictographically.

Hi Mrs Obtuse welcome, and I call my kids Thing one and Thing two as well!

I'm beginning to wish I hadn't started this now! It was a question to see if there were other families out there doing this, rather than to ask you all what you think of us doing it. But for the record, my son is very happy being bilingual - there has been no stress put on him to learn another language, as both languages are spoken equally at home (and the type of speech developmental issues he has are the same in both languages). I would rather his dad spoke to him fluently in his own language than badly in English (as does the psyc). And his sense of cultural identity is strong, which is vital to a mixed race child being brought up in middle england.

''I think our kids have a hard enough time understanding English both verbally and non-verbally and I feel that it's unfair to introduce a new language when it's clear they struggle with just the one.'' Again, I think that there is a difference between teaching a child another language, and their being bilingual, as the latter is something which has always been a part of their lives. What would be 'unfair' for my child would be to cut him off from his cultural identity. (Something which was reinforced at the second assessment which we had - in a much more mulitcultural environment than we had the first). I'm not advocating that everyone should teach their child a second language, I'm asking if anyone else on this forum is bringing up their child bilingually.

I think that there is a difference between being bilingual, and learning a second language (which is what I think you meant here lil-me?). Both my kids have grown up in a home where both languages are spoken. But we have always been clear about which one of us speaks which, so as not to confuse. They are both happy with it, and can make the distinction as to which language to use with who, and my AS son is very able to manipulate the fact that I am monolingual to tell his dad that I said it was ok to give him certain things!

I was reading an article in the paper yesterday about how being bilingual helps young children's brains develop in lots of positive ways: "Bilingual children do better in verbal and non verbal tests. They have better metaligusitic awareness and greater cognative flexibility''. I was interested to see how many of us on the forum are bringing up our AS children bilingually (that is being brought up in a household where more than one language is spoken)? And if you can see the secondary benefits of it as quoted, or others? We are doing it as my husband has English as a second language, and we feel it is important for him and the children to communicate with each other in his first language. And I speak with them in English (and as we live in England this is their primary language). We have had a mixed reception to this from the various 'professionals' that we have come into contact with. At his first assessment the pead thinks it is a very bad idea as my son has a severe language delay, and the SALT wasn't far off as she was worried that he would find it confusing (he doesn't). This was only one of the reasons that I found the first assessment to be so poor. At his second assessment the team were really good all round, and strongly supported his bilingualism as being such a major part of his cultural identity. Anyone else out there doing this?

I found myself in a similar stiuation last year, and my (v sympathetic GP) recoemmended against a private psychologist on the basis that I was taking myself out of the loop, and it would be virtually impossible to get back into it. So we asked for a referral elsewehere for a second opinion, which the GP did for us (this is your right). We were told that the waiting list at the clinic we were then referred to was a year (it was to a see a leading autism specialist), so I phoned the clinic up every few weeks to see how things were going. Whoch paid off becuase when a cancellation came through, we were the first ones the administrator thought of, and were seen within a few months of asking for the referral. This time the assessment was done in a really thorough way, and everything explained to me. They also recommended strategies at the end, and will be going into school next term to follow through.

Welcome. I'm recently new as well. The best bit of advice I can give is to go out and get yourself a big file, and start to keep copies of all of the letters you send and recieve around your child, as well as notes on all of the phone calls. I know that when I started off I thought I would remember everything, and then realised that I couldn't keep track of when I had spoken to who, and what they had said. This is really important when the different agencies get involved (like Speech, paediatrics, etc). And in the front of that file, keep a note of useful contacts - and don't be afraid to call them regularly if you need to. We have been waiting for nearly a year for my son's Statement, and I kick myself for not being more pro-active in chasing the people involved (his paediatrician missed the report deadline by months, by the time I found out and chased her, hard, she had it written the same afternoon).

I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid, having posting something similar myself yesterday about the playground. It's unfortunate that little kids can be so mean. I held a birthday party for my son last month and invited half the class in a bid to artifically make him some friends. I know that one of the kids has had a party since, and didn't invite my son. I really don't want to make a big deal about his being AS with the other parents, as those that I have confided in have got a pretty wierd idea of what autism is, and started treating him with kid gloves. (Yes, I know, I want it both ways).

Thanks for all your replies. I do know that I am making more of this than I should, but it breaks my heart when I see him so profoundly on his own amoung all the other kids. For me, his social isolation is one of the harder parts of coming to terms with his autism - but I know that I need to get over it and move on so that I can support him better. I taught him how to ask if he could join in when other kids are playing, but he says that they 'don't like him'. He can cope when it is catch, but when it involves acting out someone else's imaginary games, he doesn't get it, and starts to get stressed. So I know that he needs coping strategies. I had a really good conversation the autism outreach worker today, and she has contacted the school to give them some pointers on helping him with this. She has asked that they take him and two or three other kids into the playground when no one else is there, and teach them various games - what's the time mr wolf, etc. And also to photograph what they are doing so that they have a little book in the classroom, which the teacher can then use to direct the class's play on occassion. She is also going to go into the school to see how they are getting on with supporting him on this and other issues next term. Hurrah - I have found a professional who cares!

Last time this came up I was dreading it as my son hates dressing up. The topic was nursery rhyme characters, so we ran through all of the roles for boys that he might like (and that i might be capable of producing), and came up blank. Eventually he agreed to be a soldier - so we went for the grand old duke of york. I bought some gold brocade and sewed it down his trousers and jacket (and I really don't do sewing - this is a mark of how desperate I was to produce something he was prepared to wear!) And to top it off, I bought a plastic sword in the pound shop (I figured that school deserved that for putting us through it). And he was sick on the day and couldn't go to school.

Hi My AS son started at school last September, and unfortunately didn't know anyone in his class when he started as he didn't go to the nursery attached to that school. I watched him a couple of times during breaks, and he just seemed to plod around the playground holding his TA's hand. I had a meeting with his teacher and TA, and asked if she could please try and do something a bit more active with him, such as brokering games between him and other kids, perhaps getting to the point when she can withdraw her immediate intervention. When we met up again last month I asked how this was going, and the answer was not very well, as he tending to want to just play with his TA and keep her to himself. I suggested the possibility of the school introducting a buddy system so that he could cope if she withdrew (not just for him, but perhaps something that other kids would benefit from), and the answer that I got was that it wouldn't work for him as other kids found him 'boring'. He is five years old for goodness sake! He has a severe speech delay which means that verbal communication is hard work for him as his receptive/expressive language is that of a 3 year old, so he does struggle with other kids when on his own. (I am chasing SALT, but because education still haven't written up his statement, he doesn't yet have a statement in place of which I know that is a part). That remark knocked the stuffing out of me for the rest of the meeting, so I need to regroup and prepare for the next meeting (which I will take someone else to with me!) Has anyone had any successes with dealing with playground socialisation and AS kids? I am aware that this whole area is a tough one for kids on the spectrum - and I am also aware that perhaps I am making too big an issue out of this, and trying to get a AS square peg in a NT round hole - he probably doesn't care nearly as much as I do about this. Thoughts?

After a meeting with the school SENCo, I asked for them to arrange an outreach person who is attached to an autism school in the county to come and observe him in school, and give the school some pointers. This helped a lot - not least of all because she knew a lot more about dealing with AS behaviours in a classroom than I did. I'm sure that the school have your boy's best interest at heart, but you might want to try and steer them towards getting specialist advice in themselves, rather than relying on you (as it puts a lot at your door otherwise). Hope thats of some use.

My dad was from the valleys, and he used to wear a leek in his button hole! My daughter is pushing me to make Welsh cakes today, but after making pancakes yesterday I'm not sure I can keep up the Stepford wife front . . .

I'm going to break the chain, as I am not now nor ever have been, a teacher. Or anything like it! I trained as a graphic designer 20 some years ago, and up until last year managed a team of 14 in a production studio. I had to give up work last year when things got too much AS-wise, and I needed to support my son, but financial issues mean that I am having to find something I can do which fits as much as possible around the kids. So I am starting my own design company. It may all come to nothing, but nothing ventured and all that . . . On the second part of the question, I have started a distance learning course on web design, which is something that I am hoping to be able to do within the company.

Hi I have been looking at the forum for a few weeks, and have just started posting, so I thought I should introduce myself. I have a NT 8 year old daughter, and a 5 year old ASD son. He was diagnosed a year ago, and since then I have been struggling with it all on different fronts. Not least of all having to give up my job partly as I couldn't get childcare for him, but also because he needed more from me than I was able to give him while working. So on top of everything else we are now hugely skint and in debt! One of the hardest things that I have found is the profound lack of communication between the agencies involved (eduction and NHS mainly). I don't know if it is due to overwork or what, but I have learnt the hard way to keep a huge file filled with notes of conversations had, copies of letters, etc, and to cart it around with me to each of the meetings! It seems to intimidate the people on the other side of the table . . .

Hi Yes, I have the same problem with clenching my teeth when stressed. I can usually catch myself during the day, but its night times that do the damage (broken two teeth so far). I went to the dentist and got myself fitted with a tooth guard (looks like the sort of thing that boxers wear), which would probably help matters if I actually wore it at night! So that is one route, if you don't mind paying (I think it was about ?50), and looking like a boxer when you go to bed. The side effect of all the teeth clenching at night is that I wake up with headaches. I went to see my GP who said that I needed to deal with the cause of my stress - my AS son was trashing his desk at that point. So that was pointless. I went to see a cranial osteopath, and she said that my jaw was out of alignment (quite often this is the case apparently with us nightime teeth clenchers, as what we are trying to do is sort it out). I've been to see her a couple of times, and the headaches have much reduced, and the soreness that I used to feel around my jaw in the mornings has gone. Its too eraly to say whether or not that is the answer for me, but it seems to have helped so far.

Hi I was interested to see what good feedback this book got from you all. I've just had a look for it online, and seen that the full title is about children with Aspergers. My son is ASD rather than Aspergers, so bearing that in mind, should it still be top of my reading list?