indiscreet

I totally agree, Darkshine.

Promises, promises!

I've always felt more relaxed around animals than I do around most people. I think it's because humans so often have a hidden agenda in their dealings with others and animals don't. With an animal it's out in the open.

"Go on, live dangerously, have a pork sausage." Chris, I really don't like meat and I love Quorn sausages.

Fried egg, vegetarian sausage, mushrooms and chips, followed by the largest Eton Mess I could find, then a large coffee. (However, in reality i probably wouldn't be able to eat anything. )

Chris, I'm puzzled. Was your post meant to be funny - or sarcastic?

LL I agree with you 100%. I couldn't have put it better. As someone who wasn't diagnosed with AS until after retirement I would be happy to help in any research if asked - and to discuss how I have coped with the undiagnised condition and how it has affected my life to date.

" Whilst it would be unfair to censor anything negative in fear of what others might think about autism, it is surely wrong to censor anything positive in the same way." I certainly wasn't suggesting any censorship. I was just suggesting that the probable reason why there is more discussion about the negative sides to autism is because it's those that cause people to come on the forum to share their worries and,hopefully, learn something from others here with similar difficulties. . That

It may seem like it's all doom and gloom but the good times I have no problems with - it's the bad times that I want to discuss with others to see if they have similar difficulties and how they cope with them.

I've noticed this too. I think some come on the board with a specific query - or worry - and after that's been discussed lurk and only post again when something specific catches their attention. I don't know; I just think this is maybe what happens.

I've had a few problems recently but basically I'm OK. Thank you for asking. I have been around - just kind of lurking rather than posting.

So true. Often it feels like a lose-lose situation. I've come to feel that professionals - cocooned in their own little world - lose touch with reality.

True, although it may make uncomfortable reading for some. With regard to adult diagnosis,I can only speak for myself but I never thought that getting a diagnosis would be the answer to my problems, just that it would help knowing that I was not alone and that there were others with the same condition. And I was correct, it is a help. It would be good if there were more adult autistic services available but I believe that as more adults get diagnosed the situation will be remedied. Would things have been easier for me if all the support - financial and otherwise - had been available when I was young? I've wondered about this and I just don't know. Easier, maybe, but would I have fought so hard to be 'normal' - particularly with regard to working.

I've been wondering about that picture. Is it your cat, Tally, or just symbolic of the way you feel at times?

AS-Warrier, that's a very positive way of looking at OCD but it isn't always the way it works - at least not for me. I can't leave my home without checking that everything is locked up and safe (fridge closed, switches on the cooker all off, etc.etc. Ditto before I go to bed at night. I've got it down to needing 2-3 hours from getting out of bed to closing the front door in the morning and maybe l/2 to 1 hour in the evening but I HAVE to do it. This is an enormous improvement on how I used to be and I did it without any outside support or help - basically because until I saw a CSI episode in which a character described the condition in detail I didn't know other people had the same problem. The worse thing about it is that I still have to fight the need for repetitive behaviour if there's something worrying me about my own health or the health/safety of someone I care about.

Lotte, I agree with Trekster that your friend could have AS and however successful his life may be in certain directors depression, low self-esteem and social awkwardness are no doubt stopping him living a happy life. I can see no harm in bringing up the subject of AS - not making a big deal of it just perhaps referring to some article you've read - and see how he reacts. If he shows no interest just leave it and maybe he'll think about it later. Just by bringing his attention to it you'll be acting like a good and caring friend.

From my limited experience as a teacher I believe it's very difficult for parents to be ojective. Also professionals, who work with children with problems, tend to lose their objectivity too - especially if they care passionately about their job. So I'm sure it's extremely helpful for parents to come on this site and share their problems and by doing this gain an insight into how other parents have dealt with, or are dealing with, similar worries. Just my opinion as a non-parent.

That is so true. It's the 'balancing act' that causes so much stress and I still haven't found a way to make it work for me.

It's sounds as if you've had a really raw deal and been let down by the professionals dealing with your case. Like others on here, I read a great deal about AS and it was as a result of what I learned that I became convinced I was on the spectrum and asked for an official diagnosis, Initially I came across an article about three women with problems and as I read it I kept thinking "Well, I'm like that." and "Can it be that other people have the same problems?" and then, at the end it was revealed that they were all diagnosed as having AS. The relief that I wasn't alone, an oddity, but that there were others like me was an enormous relief. However, I needed confirmation that I was correct and the diagnosis gave me that additional relief. I've learned not to care too much about what other people think. Both my parents are dead but I'm certain they would have been in denial and reactions from other tend to be either "Well, I'm like that and I'm sure many people are" or "I don't believe it, I've seen programmes about children with autism and you're not like that" so I prefer not to mention it to anyone who doen't have any personal experience - either themselves or from a family member. Thank you for explaining so frankly and clearly why you feel as you do.

How did you feel? Didn't you get any feeling of relief after getting a diagnosis?

Sorry, I should have been more specific. I was thinking in terms of degrees in English, History, Philosphy, Languages etc where the degree doesn't qualify a person for a job in a particular niche in the way a degree in Physics, Medicine or Law would.

Going to university is supposed to make a person a more well-rounded and mature individual. It isn't necessarily job-related unless the subject you studied has some relevance to the job you've applied for.

How do you manage about washing your hair? I hate showers and washing hair in the bath or washbasin isn't easy so I pay to have someone else do it. It's an expense but I save on other things.

Just about but it was a close-run thing,

I have no problem with lying if it's connected with AS - if someone is pressuring me to go to a social event or if there has been a 'compulsory' bonding weekend connected with work. In those circumstances I have absolutely no conscience about lying. Same with 'pretending/copying/faking - it's a survival mechanism since it isn't my fault I was born of the wrong planet. I have problems with empathy - when people respond to a situation emotionally rather than rationally - but I can relate to other people's genuine worries or griefs since I'm well aware what it's like to feel those emotions.