av16

Hi Karen, you are probably right in thinking that they hadn't realised he didn't have an IEP. The outreach support may be able to suggest ways that Ben can deal with the nasty comments but I think he does need some support in class even if it is just to monitor what is going on between him and other children; the teachers also need to get a grip of this.It's funny how some children are reprimanded yet others get away with it. Hopefully at the beginning of the review they will go through the provision he has, as you say finding out the 15hrs worth of support will be interesting. How would Ben feel if there was support in the class (at a bit of a distance) to listen out and watch what's going on? They could then give him ideas on the best way to respond? As well as reporting back to teachers and tackling the bullies and making it clear how unacceptable their behaviour is. I hope something is done immediately to support him, if you have examples to share at the AR that may help. I know you will be very good at putting over your points. All the best :thumbs: AV

Non-verbal reasoning tests are good for determining areas of ability that might not be picked up by using tests that rely on language or memory. I've seen cases where children may have been diagnosed MLD but had normal or better non-verbal reasoning test results. Sally44 was your DS given any of these type of tests?

Thanks all for your help - it is all out of my hands now. Don't worry about the restraint - our staff are all trained - not nice I know but necessary unfortunately. Thanks again - you have such a wide range of knowledge. AV

Hello - I wonder if anyone can help me with a problem from my work? It's not to do with a child with ASD but many of you have knowledge in this particular area. We have recently managed to get a statement for a child with extreme behaviour issues. They are at risk of permanent exclusion as they need at least 2 adults available to manage them, violence towards children and staff, extremely dangerous behaviour. The school has spent thousands in providing extra cover and fitting out a calm down room but no improvements in behaviour. Both parent & school requested special school placement but the LA have refused. Parents are appealing & we are supporting them with it. I want to make sure we do the best we can. Any ideas what we can do? The child desperately needs some therapeutic input in a small school. If you've any advice I'd be really grateful. (As a senco I should probably know this but I'm relatively new and haven't come across this before so it's a learning experience for me too) Thanks AV

Really sorry you are going through this <'>

Well done for writing your point so clearly. I fully understand - we've been in the same position with our DS who is 12. It wasn't a sw but members of SLT. It gets so frustrating when they say things like ' we told him it's unacceptable' etc. and 'we kept telling him blah blah'. As we know a different approach is needed. I'm glad you had the EP on your side, we've often been on our own. It was the annual review last week and there were 2 members of SLT there (one I had never heard of before) plus LA people, SLT I'd never met before; it could have been very intimidating. I think that the school have taken on board some of my comments, they seemed to understand more than they ever had before. I would say to you yes you are right to feel upset but if you keep putting over your point calmly and demonstrate that you support the school hopefully things will improve. Good Luck

There is something called provision during assessment (I think)- PDA which a school can ask for when they make a request for statutory assessment so that they can be given a level of funding before a statement is issued. Obviously this isn't handed out very often ( I got it for one child I applied for at one of my schools so I know it does happen) but the school has to make it very clear the level of provision they are putting in is high so evidence about what happened before provision/ what happens if it's not in place is crucial. This is often a problem but it can be resolved - we bought a small portacabin to use as a quiet room, we were lucky to have funding but it could be an idea to think about. You could mention the PDA to the school, they could check with the LA to see if it's an option they would consider. Good luck AV

Sorry you're having a bit of a rough time at the moment Karen <'> My son is on a part-time timetable within mainstream secondary( he's 12, AS). As Karen has said when you try to increase time in school it has to be done in a well thought out way with preparation and resources available. DS was on a part-time timetable last year and he would suddenly be put back into class - without preparation and support and of course it wasn't a success. I also agree with Baddad that the longer out, the harder it is to get them back in. You could consider slightly lengthening a couple of days, seeing how it goes and build up to a full length day. Whatever you decide hope it goes well. AV

Hi Check about the Parent support person who works in school - this is probably not someone from Parent Partnership (supposed to be at arms length from the LA). In both my schools we employ Parent Support workers who are supposed to do what their title suggests. The big difference is they are employed and based in school. Parent Partnership/Advice are usually located in a LA building- not in a school. It's worth checking as you may be missing some impartial advice. AV PS I would not be happy with the statements on the IEP either- good luck and hope 2010 will be better for you

Brilliant news Karen, really pleased for Ben that the move has been so positive. I expect the teachers find it refreshing to have such an enthusiastic student - I know lots who aren't like that! AV

Does he have support at school? As Lain says he is obviously getting overwhelmed by something, the school should be trying to find out what is getting him worked up. If he had someone who could help with explaining what's happening, regularly remind him of what is acceptable and remove him from situations before he gets too worked up, you may see some improvement. If the statement process is underway the school could have asked for PDA- provision during assessment, they would then get funding straight away which they could use to get him some help. My DS (AS) was like this when he was first diagnosed, he has come along way since then and although he can still be violent, it hasn't happened at school for a long time. Constant reminders about acceptable behaviour got through to him in the end. (I don't like saying this in case it's tempting fate) I think as well he has a bit more control in his life now - we give him choices and the school are starting to do this and it does help him to feel more secure and better about things. He is also able to tell us more about how he is feeling, he said he used to get very upset because he didn't know/understand what was going on. Hope this helps a bit - don't worry you're not alone <'> AV

Really pleased for you both, I hope he's feeling good about himself. AV

I don't know how to respond to that as that was the last thing on my mind. Enough said. Apologies if you thought otherwise.

My son loves football and plays for his school team and a club. It's not been easy, we have to keep reassuring him at times when his confidence is low but he is so keen he's not given up even when he's been on the bench for several games. So far so NT but he decided he need to have a suitable way of celebrating any goals he might score. He decided that a somersault was the best thing so with advice from youtube clips he has taught himself to do a somersault. His ability to persevere and keep going over and over again is amazing. Just a little thing but the little things make us smile and keep us going AV ps he played yesterday and today but didn't score pps hope Baddad doesn't go altogether - he sometimes gives a different view which makes you(me ) think

I find ToM really interesting as it helped me to understand a bit more about my son (AS). He used to get really bad nightmares and then get really upset with me as I didn't know what he had dreamt about so his distress was quite extreme. I felt really bad that I couldn't comfort him. . Second order Theory of Mind also helps to explain how some people find irony, sarcasm & some jokes really difficult to get - the difference between explicit and intended meaning. I know this is an area my son still gets confused with. It also has been shown that the development of ToM helps improve social interaction and also social manipulation; so if you have impaired ToM you may have more difficulty making friends but you're far less likely to be a bully. I found out more about ToM and Executive Function (another area of impairment for people with ASD) from an OU Child Developmental Psychology course- I can recommend it; hard work but fascinating (not just to find out more about Autism).

Hi - we won't give in but he's making us very miserable. Refused to eat yesterday evening but he did say sorry at bedtime (nearly a first!). Today he has said that his friends will get it for him - if he can't give them the money they will contribute! Not sure if this is true but it's sort of nice that he has friends who would do this (if it is). He still won't get to play it though. I did ring our CAMHS and left a message yesterday asking for help - no-one has rung back so far, I wasn't in a position to call them today but will tomorrow. I wish he had someone to talk to other than us who could explain things to him and help him with his anger.

Hi, don't know if anyone has any ideas but our DS (12 yrs - AS) has an Xbox which up until November he was happy to play football games on; he uses the on line facility to play with his friends and it has helped him socially. A new game became the in thing at the beginning of November - Call of Duty which is for over 18's as it is very violent, we said he couldn't have it - obviously but all of his friends have it. (You can see whose playing what online). He is driving us mad - refusing to get up/go to bed/eat/dress/ go to school without massive arguments and fights. He has pulled out the light fitting in our bedroom (Christmas day when he realised he wasn't getting it as a present) he has physically attacked me, his sisters and his dad had to restrain him today. I don't know how much more we can take. He's refusing to go to school as he says everyone is laughing at him. Any ideas? Today we were desperate - he was out in the garden kicking a ball at the window for ages after he'd trashed the living room. Who can we ask for help? AV

Karen I am very sorry to see this. I will pm you.

His IEP targets do not seem helpful to me-is he provided with any strategies to be able to do these things as they are far too woolly. I would expect to see something saying how he could be helped to meet the targets with an expectation of some sort of measurability - sit without annoying.... for 5 mins etc with some help provided - a visual reminder card/ reminder from TA and some sort of encouragement/reward. I'm sure if he could do these things then some of the time he would. The fact he has targets to do these things won't magically make him able to do them - unless he is taught explicitly what he should do. (Reminds me of my son's target last year - to avoid getting detentions. He would have loved to be able to do this but the target didn't have a magical effect I'm afraid - he's still getting them now) Looks like you've got a fight on your hands - the school seems very unreasonable in their expectations - what do the LA think? or the attendance people? Good luck <'> AV

I would definately highlight the absconding issue- how does she get out. The school need to tighten up as being safe is one of the new Ofsted criteria that can lead to a school failing even if everything else is wonderful. They should be doing risk assessments and the fact they don't know she's gone is very worrying. I can't imagine how you must feel - my DS has done it once and I felt terrible. The school should have been able to provide some support from their delegated funding. What levels is she on academically? The school should know and they should have set targets to help ensure she makes some sort of progress, if they haven't done so they are failing your child. Again this is a high level indicator used in the new Ofsted inspections so they need to get their act together. I hope you get on ok -make sure you get some support <'> AV

Thanks Trekster for your comments and support. I'm waiting for the phone call at the moment but I have just arranged to visit another school next Friday - should have done it before but have been unwell (always on my days off!). He's starting to get really fed-up again and feels like he's always in trouble. AV

A few more weeks on - and a few more detentions, he's now in more trouble. I am going to ring the LA tomorrow for their advice but the problem I think is with the support he has (or doesn't have). A discussion with a teacher last week was enlightening - 'his support is for learning' well yes but if he is being constantly disruptive (their words) shouldn't the support be for his behaviour? There have been a couple of things over the last few days which resulted in me getting an answerphone message today saying he is to have an internal exclusion nex t week. . He was sent out of class twice this afternoon after he'd been told about this new development and was then told his attitude wasn't good One thing he told me was the TA wasn't with him yesterday, today and he thinks Tuesday. He was in trouble for doing a handstand and cartwheel in class- I asked him why - because he'd finished his work and was bored. I'm not excusing his behaviour but their response makes me mad. Needless to say he doesn't want to go in tomorrow I've had a really bad day at work - mess up with the diary met the valuable EPs time wasn't used as efficiently as I'd like so sorry for ranting!

Congratulations! What should happen now is the school have 8 weeks to sort out how it's going to meet the contents of the statement. They will then have a planning meeting with you and any of the other professionals involved to outline how they intend to meet the statement. They should set some targets for Piers and make clear to you what is going to happen and when. I would imagine that he should start getting the support very soon. You will need to watch out that things do start to be put in place. From my experience getting the statement is the first hurdle but there will be many more to negotiate but for now celebrate . AV

Hi, I'm fine with Karen A mentioning me ! I have to say I agree with her, both from my experience as a parent, teacher and senco. If the information is summarised and the staff are keen to do their job properly, things should go okish - if there are problems they may have an idea why, if not they will try to find out more. Unfortunately there are always people who think they know better and think that their methods will 'cure' them or that by disciplining them eventually they will learnto 'toe the line'. As we know to our costs depending on the child they may become more passive and then erupt at home or they will erupt at school. I spent so long last year (DS was in yr 7) going in and being told about bad behaviour - practically every single one of which I could understand why DS had acted as he did. Many things were due to his desperate desire to fit in or his failure to understand what was going on. He was also singled out by an older child and when he finally retaliated was caught- because he had not complained he was seen as the guilty one. What I'm trying to say is that many teachers seem to need everything laid out in a sort of step by step guide. If the child's behaviour doesn't fit in with it then they're being naughty - few seem to want to find out more. If you have the time and inclination you could suggest the teachers talk to you when they have any queries and have a regualr meeting with the senco- this may help things for your child. Eventually the message will get through - hopefully. (Then of course he'll go into yr 8 and it will start again Good luck AV

Hi Portia, I am a senco and mother of boy with AS (but I'm definately not an expert !) one thing that you might be able to try is taking the three of them out of class to do some group work on social skills. Maybe playing simple games and you modelling good behaviour - turntaking etc. This would help you build a relationship with him as well as hopefully teaching them all something. For the sexualised behaviour you could try giving him a social story to read (if he can), with other adults doing the same. Another way you could help the class teacher would be by making a few notes - a log if you like, of the things he's doing in class. This extra bit of evidence may help push them into doing something a bit sooner. Well done for your dedication, I know many parents on this forum would love to have someone like you working with their child AV