pepper

mine does too - but i know many kids who do NT, tho thinking on, a vast majority are ADHD! - i think its more sons brain running away before his mouth! and TBH im the same sometime i twitterpatter word as i leap in

im actually surpised at the 'almost a prep school ' comments!! my son whos As thrived till 11 in a rigid prep school and it was the best thing ever!! he knew the boundreis and stuck to them happily, the enviroment was so flexable, class sizes of under 15 and tradional teaching styles with time for one on one? i cant see why ppl make out as if it is a poor relation! only issues for him where changing to mainsteam grammar school! and hes settled in with time and dx, it just took a wee bit of adaption

i think, whats more worrying dear, if they cant cope? how the hell are u?! like we dont face this day after day ! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

---------------------------------------------------- only if child is statemented, and LEA arnt banging on about 'suitable school local' which puts most of us over a barrel.

oh dear - that made me cry

erm, im not surprised, at the least........ id like to say my son is sort of borderline? but was undiagnosed AS/ADD ..year 7 at 1st year of seniors? i wasnt actually sure which one of us us was up for a mental breakdown 1st!! its pure terrible adjustment for NT kids.......let alone AS and he ended up such a state by end of year i think i was a basket case......... i still sweat thinking back to be honest *shudder* cant we change subject? LOL

my 14yr old AS son is at grammar...and its exceedingly sporty! (has a high reputation for it ) Luckily son enjoys rugby (pure awful at it but gutsy so he happily joins in) But when I asked he said that they filter the poorer players of into hockey and if that doesnt suit there are other options that arnt team orientated (long distance running?) Plus a couple of lads are exempt from sports - and hes positive that there isnt any problem with that from any of the lads I think they are involved within sports ie score board duty? seems the sports dept manage to involve all the lads in one way or another. Most grammars have many other interesting extra curriculum clubs - I'm sure if child is a chess wizz, the fact he's not into team sports wouldnt matter a jot! Sons school have a robotics club too - thats a good one for AS - robot wars contenders of the future! LOL. Im terrified to step in sons room as theres lego midstorms dotted about like boobytraps! Homework is a bind, but certainly not from excess - lad was at an independant prep school before grammar and he got far more then! Its more the organisation of remembering homework...... And in our case, sons ability is fragmented, hes average in some, poor in languages (except latin ) Excells in maths/science/IT (as many AS kids do) Thankfuly most of the core subjects at grammer are split into academic bands based on ability (whereas my local comp teach all ability classes throughout every subject , and I cannot imagine son in that situ ) Because the 11+ is verbal reasoning with tick boxes, its often an easy exam option as very little writing and involves lateral thinking. I definately would extole the virtues of grammar school education in our case its been by far the most sucessful choice. Son is never teased for doing well by classmates as its drummed into them all to attain their very best, son thinks very much outside the box and with many teachers this has been a plus point - although im sure hes awkward to teach in a classroom enviroment! ( again - tho because the general behaviour is good I think teachers have more leeway and time for the few who struggle or disrupt) I know every individual child has totally differing needs, its just this education choice was best for us. It isnt perfect , there arnt any TA's - some of the teachers are rather 'old school' and unbending but others are amazing and take time to extend sons interest with extension work and seem to take a keen interest. im rambling again! sorry appologies xx pep

i voted mostly happy / mainstream, tho reading most replies I end up feeling a fish out of water! ( or should that read - maybe son is? lol) son 14, mainstream grammer - happy as a pig in poke, quite sure hes lots of freinds.........and tbh I think they all got used to him by now and ill admit he is part of the gang, maybe a tad whacky / sorta geeky/ but accepted (tho wasnt always the case) help? frankly none, except his big bad mamma when school give zero tolerance, id have to say - he's coping admirably considering he gets absolutely no extra help and ISP is virtually ignored half the time. But so far so good, on path to pretty decent exam results as long as the cow cack doesnt hit the fan ( eternal optomist me) I often consider the grim path thru formal education as a learning curve so far son is hanging on grimly with fortitude!! I so hope after all this 'square peg in round hole tat' he can fins his own career path and have a great time in adulthood.....(more eternal optomism!) TBH i have to admit that our school choice was the best of a bad bunch - only school local with ASD unit is dodgy academically and Ive been there ( as a pupil escort) and asked a pupil way to unit ...the reply i got in return put me off completely! Intregation? nononono struck me as a big obvious sign to mainstream pupils to 'pick on any SEN kids' from my own personal viewpoint, my lad may be a 'little unusual' to most but hes one of the lads in the school he's in. Its by no means perfect but we seem to be tiptoing thru (without killing teh senco!) It is xmas after all

Im actually smug - as forces hubby loves the kitchen ( im not saying it was a deciding factor in accepting his marriage proposal many years ago..but it was a bonus point!) He's just lurched in with the shopping and xmas day ill be keeping the family amused whilst he peels veg and bastes the turkey crown Im lucky that my 3 adore roast dinners - AS son is mad on veg and as long as he has sausages instead of meat we get an empty place Tho im loving the wilderbeast joint idea basically i will eat anything as long as I havnt had to do teh cooking! TBH if the kids didnt like roasts I'd happy go alternative Strangest xmas..? was traditional roast, granted, but midsummer (down bottom of South America ) Dad went to the pub and accidently invited 12 royal marines for xmas lunch!!! I can still remember mum doing it in 4 servings as we only had 6 place settings!! and some of the desperate meal combo's at the end were hysterical ( thank heavens for the neigbours! I remember getting sent off to beg leftovers down the whole road ) everyone obliged xx pep

bless, always good to let off steam. Think its the same for everyone. *insert vomitting smiley* I attempt a meeting with senco every couple of years and - as u say - teh expressions they spout!! i wanna kill them! Last one i got went ' son has to learn to organise himself better' STATE THE OBVIOUS and do they not 'get' fact he cant?? LOLOL ah well, least he sees teh funny side

hiya Opooh, just noticed thread, Im not sure how old your child is but mine was DX at 11 - 1st year of senior school, and after the 1st fraught year of settling in was also added to the schools gifted register but it isnt added to IEP. He is now 14 at a mainstream Grammar school with 4% SEN That may be because hes at a grammar school - that I feel my son is coping well, as all pupils are expected to attain to high levels ( so thats at least one issue solved - no bullying because of ability) I personally have found that streaming works very well and in the main the boys at his school are very well behaved and teachers seem able to give a little more one on one for kids needing extra attention, for example, my lad struggles to write coherant notes in homework diary, so teachers can find time to double check he has correct information in diary so we can do homework....generally In my area I was aware that my local comprehensive has a excellant reputation with SEN and many facilities, ie many LSA but when I looked closely, they seemed to be in the lower sets and generally helping class, if son was streamed there he would have had no LSA anyway. There is also a school here with an AS unit, but again, it isnt suitable for my son and he seems able enough to cope with mainstream with little support ( touch wood so far) Again, as many mums have pointed out - academic ability is sometimes a hindrance, the expectation that as he's so bright - he can follow verbal requests is presumed and causes much difficuty...and although my son has an IEP I'm not sure many teachers understand his precise needs. As the senco said to me, they have a few children with AS in each year but every single one presents differently and has unique needs and teachers have to use different stratagies individual to each child Ironically my sons gifted ability seems wholy dependant on his teacher that year? for example Math /Physics / Latin / ICT were strongest subjects last year, this year its Maths / English / Biology /Chemisty and its all down to who his teacher is..... On the gifted ability front - I know some schools do the UK Maths challenge run by NAGLY and my lad got aded to the UK register from that. From reading the paperwork a parent can apply and my son really loves it as you can access forums online and speak to likeminded children, he has far more freinds online than in person so I have found the WWW to be a godsend for him as well as me for socialising LOL sorry if I seem to be writing a monologue about my child ! but was offering a personal viewpoint about 'gifted/able' an teh only familiarity I have is our family experiences xx pep

[errrrr alas - empathy . symapthy and that 'all knowing gut wrenching recall ' *blush* sons in year 10 now and i cant look headmaster in eye from yr 7 when school was gonna call SS in- after sons garbled convo *toe curl* doesnt help that headmaster is drop dead gorgeous and me snotting all over him and asking for a tissue as i lost the plot - AAAAAAAAAaGH and ive a real fear of school teachers - gotta phone morrow to hash over an issue and cant sleep for the stress, wimp i am! feel sick.... and this is just senco - i need assertive training!!

[i cant quote stuff - but im sure thats actually fact

u shouldnt have to [pay] for a taxi - u dont need statement - with u mentioning alder hey that means ur in lpool borough?) and i am too in a fashion and i do work as a pupil escort so sorta know how it all goes in area) u DONT need a statement to get one - ok. go to education authority and say what u said in thread - shes not safe traveling alone - simple as that. look - my son tried bus 3 times and got picked up by police/ park keeper/ school secretary!!!!!!! ok - i chose for him to make own way but thats cos im fairly sure he can cope ( im a pusher of a Ma hahhaah) but ur girl sounds like she needs some support - right now - might change in time but no way she is ready at present If u can get a taxi sorted it will take pressure of elder daughter - even on social grounds u have a reason immediately - can i suggest CAHMS referal - son got taken off books for being too 'well rounded' hahahah least it amused me...............and nice to know mines classed as too well balanced*thud* speak to social services if education authority is dragging heels

whats a 'TA' cos i know we - son - aint ever seen one....................... well blow me down - he did get top SATS at science/ math in grammar school this year so...........'SWwiiiiiiiiiiingand up theirs' bearing in mind the nano support - all i can say suppose id best go make yet another appointment with Senco.not that owt will change - as normal = us at home get the fallout

OOOOOOOOk how old is ur charming child? ( serious - - - - cos my lad hasnt hit puberty yet hes 14.........) id like all teh warning i can get! ( but i did giggle - bless)

Ah.... IEPs? hm ive had many a end of year meeting ( at senior school) and i always weedle a mention that son has SEN - i cant even start to mention how many of sons teachers look VERY surprised, fumble around paperwork and start blustering ........Frankly im starting to think they arnt worth the paper they written on - and only use is a leverage to try and fix - as son changes to a new teacher - the treadmill starts anew *tsk - tries to think - upbeat?* But least THEY EXIST! and i can see where IEPs have their use - whaddya mean LEAS try not to use? its bad eno hearing how difficult statements are! IEPs are the next 'form of defence'

oh dear, sorry to hear things arnt going so well at start. Its such an adjustment - i remember it well! Its a panic when - as a parent you have to consider whats best for both of your daughters and so many pupils dont understand. My lad generally manages to fit in - but had huge problems getting accepted in yr 7 Theres an awful lot of info online - that most school staff seem to be clueless -( again - alas - experience) i can only suggest a meeting ( yet again ) with senco and main staff and plopping all the print outs in their lap. My son is in year 10 now and yr 7 was undiagnosed........year 8 was a DX and learning curve and yr 9 he coasted, things seem ok so far ( hahah 2 days in?) I class self as lucky as hes academic they seem to try and make adjustments ( on the quirky / odd / brainy angle LOL! excuse my flippancy) I think the MAJOR point - that i hadnt realised myself for ages - and worked when speaking to staff , is the accepted point on AS that all children are emotionally delayed on development. I saw a big change when i mentioned my 12 year old son was catogorised as 'mentally/ emotionally - 8! and i expected the staff to realise he wasnt 12 years old - he acted 8, looked 8 and thought like an 8 year old and chucking him in school and expecting a 4 year advanced development was actually 'child cruelty'. That sort of description may help?

dunno if its of any help - but my lad only got a dx 2 yr ago when he was 12, and tbh - id not really noticed much amis before school hauled me in - always seemed such a forthright independant sort - i just presumed the lad was brimming with individuality nowadays i just judge on sons level of contentment/ happiness/ viewpoint at world - tho i freak out - if hes wandering aimlessly through it and not stressing self silly - suppose i shouldt try expect him to conform ( cos sure as **** he wont!) After 3 years in same class the rest of the pupils seem to have got completely used to sons whacky ways and hes part of the furniture?! if u get my drift! - well if hes ok with it / ill will be as i mentioned earlier - son clicks well with adults / older kids and those a fair few years younger - hopefully it will all level out eventually ( eternal optomist me)

laughing is good for the soul ( so is the industrial sized vodka bottle i bought) sons on school overnight trip - im sick with worry so plan to be sick with alcahol poisening by morrow hahahahahha least he went away with one of the more 'understanding teachers' Is it abnormal to imagine that your awfully bright but hideously immature son might end up buried under hadriens wall by rest of his class - rather than examining it????

OHHHHHHHHHHHH no no no! thats actually totally normal

ah and its all the same dept - well im sure uve not got a rep as a grass LOLOLOLOL ( apologies - im a mad sense of humour ) but problems easy eno to fix anyway - just phone the bosses. There isnt a 'their word against urs' as i said - what u say goes, so go give the driver some stick to bosses If hes changing the timing of run, he isnt gaining anyway. I am also a taxi driver.......and reg run is up to nr weatherby so know how your local authority system works to a degree. I cant help but point out tho - i find it toe curling that i get minimum wage for being an escort and my drivers get 21 quid for 5 hours work ( id be grumpy as hell too) but theres no excuse for bigotry and bad manners

pssst oracle - i really LIKE ur reply its upbeat and optomistic oh, btw mel <'> ive always found that older or younger kids got on far better with my son, own age group? UHU always a drama, so maybe focussing on a different peer group will help?

[pep doesnt know how to delete a dual post]

hiya and welcome *gasp* lots of interesting tangents but i have to say, with time your concept and your childs wishes sorta swivel about! ive an almost 14 yr old who announces often lately that hes very happy and popular eno at school ( recon i need to stop flapping and let things lie) tho it isnt how i view my sons life, but as long as thats how he sees things, ill sit back and pray ( tho 2 years ago all was a different story as he took forever to fit into mainstream secondary school) because basically - my lad isnt like any of his peers, but as long as they accept him and socialise in a fashion, and hes happy at present. On a lighter note my two NT daughters dont seem to need other freinds outside school and most children dont play out as we did in our 'halcion days' lol