Tanya Glass

by uneducated I assume you mean in the academic sense, I think you will find that in a life sense they will more than suffice. None of us are beyond understnading, in fact we are all often very simple to work out. You have a blunt and stark choice, coming here and talking about problems is fine, but you must be prepared to go beyond that, lots of people are very concerned for you here. I really hope you get the help you need, your self image and self view is leading you down a very dangerous path, hope you find some intermal peace. James

I was very mixed up at 18 - had a huge amount of personal issues to sort out reuslting from my fmaily situation, reading what you wrote I remember feeling exactly the same. It's not easy and in modern society a pressure is put on us to perform, to be normal, to be a certain something. We live in a crazy world of assumptions, labelling and an expectation to perfrom. Drugs certainly don't help, i was not involved in drugs but I did get ionvolved in something that was hugely addictive and something that changed my life, my beliefs and even my friends and whilst there were many postitive aspects to it, to this day I still carry the baggage. In other words the answers are there, it just takes courage and foresight to find them and if you don't find them, have fun along the way! You will find that no matter how weird, how different you are or even how isolated you feel, there are many people who feel the same or accept you for you are, whilst it is hard to ignore a feeling of isolation, I know from experience that friendships, relationships they all give you the life experience and education which goes some way not just to understanding yourself but the world. No one would say, well just pull yourself together, or just get over it, but as the old saying goes, the glass is eitheir half full or half empty, go for the half full. James

I think what you have to do here is 'find yourself' pretty rubbish thing to say, if I may jump straight in, the idea of girlfriends comes over time as you emotional mature and your confidence grows it will come good. Try looking less at syndromes and enjoy life, I do not mean thta in a flippant way, just enjoy getting along with people, social interaction. Correct me if i am wrong, but you seem to lack self confidence, don't! You are who you are, have belief in yourself. The reason you cannot get a girlfriend is not becuase you are dysfunctional, it just has not happened yet, my most serious and meaningful realtionships did not happen well into my twenties, i was always the ugly duckling at school, shy, unsure, over time, just learn to be yourself (that is key). The old cliche of like yourself and others will too is true, believe me. As for your friend. well you are young, it's a crazy world at the best of times and making sense of it is hard, especially if you do not fit in according to the rules of society. Don't look at syndromes, disorders as answers, they pose more questions in dx than they ever do as an assumption, as much as they might give some piece of mind. Obviously you know your friend and if he is displaying obvious problems then seek help. You seem a pretty aware person, hopefully as his friend it will help him. Be aware of a false dx though, don't label him, the damage done by a dx without evidence can tear you apart, the damage done to myself and others from a false is immense, it's the kind of thing that is hard to go back on, be prepared to amend your views as you go along, which I am sure you will do. I know it is patronising, sorry apologies, but enjoy life, enjoy been young and enjoy finding who you are and who others are. You seem very confused, I hope you work through this and find some peace. Take Care james

Thanks Without wishing to drag up the past I am not ASD - always been different I guess, exceptionally sensitive, very active creative imagination. It is apparent that my brain works in a different way, but it has never stopped me living life, peer group friendship, getting on, relationships, socialising I have always done without any significant probs. I did go to the docs and talk over ASD - just to relieve the pressure on me. I think I come back here out of curiosity and I am interested in people. internet forums are just such fascinating places. Anyway, rambling now. Interesting thread, James

I feel very out of place posting here, just thought I would add my twopenneth for what it is worth. As for NAS, I do not think it is ill meant, it is human nature to understand or quantify things. Increasingly we seem to live in a society of genralisations, so it is no surprise. James

As someone put here, a sweeping generalisation, AS like all conditions is about the individual, i cannot not see how you can make an indivudal fit a set of symptons. Anyone who cites someone as having AS becuase they only read non fiction would have to be pretty silly. From my own experience I love to read biography - mainly to work back on my childhood and I am intrigued by those people good or bad out there on a limb - and fiction becuase I love writers like James Herbert, as a writer in my spare time they are an inspiration for me. Sorry to butt in here, just I have had this thrown at me before, I don't like genralisations, people are individuals, I know these things are often not ill meant, but I think it is easy, too easy to forget the person. James

I mean I don't know how helpful it will be, depends how you take your therapy. James

I would be interested to know what people think. Could be my obscure view picking things out, seeing shadows which are not there. I have to say non fiction is not my first love, since I started writing seriously myself I have read these over fiction. Reading my favourite fiction authors, James Herbert, Dean Koontz etc always leaves me in awe. So i go back to the non fiction and loose myself in other people lives.

I suggest that it is too easy to look at famous and successful people, their often unquie and vast talents, and becuase they seem different, it becomes easy just ot label AS. (or any other condition) I picked the Kenneth William Diaries, simply becuase by hos own admission he expresses his feelings and in turn difficulties. I think we live in an increasingly uncertain world - more and more people want to understnad not only themselves but the world around them.

True, But reading between the lines it obvious he asuffered pyschological problems, the waspish tongue is little more than a defence, from the diaries and delving in the private thoughts he expresses he reveals a deep sensitivity. It seems to be this over sensitivity which proves dififcult, like the glare of a bright sun. Looking at what I have read here, personal experience, living with ASD - I would suggest there are similarities. Taking the front, the personality which we all have to some degree that sheilds us from the world is easy, beyond that we all have an inner core.

It's very hard to say, you really have to read the diaries and form your own opinion. I think he remained emtionally unfufilled and felt that he did not fit in, not just in the basic social sense, but in a wider sense. He has the measure of people, but seems to unable to moderate his emotions, they swing dramatically, As for pain, lots of ailments, I think much of it much be seen as an extension of emtional state. I do honestly belive that anyone on the AS spectrum would gain something, could be wrong but I think it is worth reading. The way I understand AS - may not be in fact how it is, but he strikes me as a man who lived with As - allbeit unknown. James

Obviosuly I am not an expert, but the book does show that Williams certainly had social difficulties, emotional shortfalls and swings of depression similar to something like bi polor He also suffers pain badly. You really have to read the book, I am certain that when reading his diary entries, many here will relate. Aside form that, it is an excellent read. James

i would suggest that anyone on the spectrum read The Kenneth Williams Diaries' Not DX of course, but exhibits many symptons and behavioural patterns not just of As but other possible personality disorders. It might help people define a clearer picture of themselves, on another note, in palces it is very funny. (Sadly sayin 'OOHHHH MATRON' is not one of the symptons of As, shame that' Sort of following on from that but more to do with childhood trauma and its effects in adulthood 'Billy' the biography about Billy Connelly by his wife Pamela Stephenson. For someone like myself who considers childhood to be the defining cause of much of their personality this provides a stunning insight not only intot he effect of all types of childhood abuse but also the effect they can carry onto into adulthood. Would definately recommend 'The Kenneth Williams Diaries' though, think many here will find it enlightning. Maybe there should be a forum book list? James

My thoughts exactly, I would urge my sister to continue posting here to find about AS - rather than looking a list of vague symptons and trying to generalise. I would ask her to interact on the forum and get to know individuals - it is through people that you learn and in turn learn about yourself. It was not meant as an attack, more a gracious retreat, granted the choice of words was not well chosen. I am fine with your post, you are entitled to your view. I suspected Ceecee's post would generate this response, I have invaded her space done something quite cruel. I expect I will receive more answers stating a similar view, she's put her heart on the line and I understand the need to protect her, I am bound to look like the big bad wolf, especially with ill chosen words. But still care for her, and wish she would take the journey to understand herself. Sympathy and attention do not have to be negative traits even if it came over like that, strip away those words and you still have a human being. You're right as well, I do need to 'get over myself' as I have said in a PM I am pretty petty petulent and childish at the mo, don't like it, but there you go. No matter how you feel about the reply, you probably do not feel as bad as I do about myself, so fairs fair. In terms of those words, I was reffering in one post particular, regarding myself. I did not like to see myself described as severely autistic, then the the 'i cope part' in response. Having close relatives who suffer from severe disability, this kind of gets on my goat. Best, James