darkshine

I've been told similar and I've felt similar.... but.... I know I experience a whole range of emotions from mild to strong, and I also know that some emotions I experience are very reactive and aren't always in proportion with what is happening. I have so many emotional changes even at the smallest things throughout the day I figure that sometimes even though I can't always name what it is I'm feeling it might be that I'm ultra aware of things - internally and externally cuz it can be anything that sparks an emotional response, mood change and associated thoughts... and though sometimes the strength of my emotions does feel and appear extreme at times, I do feel a while range of other things between those extremes - that stuff just isn't as observable and I don't always know what the words are.

Facilitator

Minor

Headphones or earphones might be an idea? The scrambled noises in that track should assist in covering snoring cuz it annoys the nerves at the same sort of level of sound. You could always find something where the snoring compliments the music in a natural way

Maybe you should say more then?

Play it loud

In this Twilight - Nine Inch Nails

And if the community says there is a relationship when the biological mother does not does that make the relationship exist?

Well there's always today and there's always other days

Victory

I'm listening to traffic

Energy

If there's any choice about such things this would be my choice, I do not know what I am capable of, or who I am, I don't know a great deal - but I know this golden ratio concept appeals to me so much more than the linear spiral - from the moment I first saw it months ago, it wouldn't leave my mind, it played on my thoughts until I had to do something with it, so I played with it and fell upon an idea, I converted a concept I had been working on and it just seemed to fall within these rules and it felt right, even in my inexperienced way it felt right and honest, and it still won't leave my thoughts I look for it hoping to see it around me and I am still learning to look and see so its a challenge - but it just won't go away now its here, so I guess if it works for me I had better not look back and not look down I see how this could apply to certain things, its interesting to me on a basic level within a persons life - maybe this could hold some importance too, I'm not sure, my thoughts are just initial wonderings but its possible in terms of certain knowledges or experiences in a persons life.... It still doesn't appeal to me as strongly as the golden ratio, I see the linear one plodding on forever in close confines and little room for deviation, forever reminding me of what happened before, and my life just doesn't feel like that's how it should be and I didn't see things before in the way I'm starting to now - although I admit I have no idea about many things about myself - I just feel the progression the golden ration holds to feel more true, if you take the spiral away and look at only the squares that make it up, each one is going to take longer to fill up, each one will require different things to develop, learn and grow, and each time you go to the next stage its bigger and more open, requires more, it continues onwards in a different way. I see there is value in both concepts in this context but one definitely has grabbed my interest a lot more than the other in the sense of personal growth, knowledge or the pattern of a life and experiences within it. I didn't know that about the credit card - do you think divine proportion works on a sort of subliminal level that people just naturally connect to given that this sequence is apparent in the world around us? I can stand high contrast mono - I think that although to some degree seeking patterns does drive me mad, mainly because I don't have enough knowledge yet to even remotely have anything like a more in depth understanding - but then if I learn more I have the very strong inkling that that might not be enough either... Sometimes I think one has to be content with seeing the brilliance in the world without knowing everything that goes on behind the scenes.

Personality

There's some things I'm remembering about winter, ice that crunches satisfactorily when you walk, and frost that sparkles holographically in the moonlight, the stars are brighter and you get to see them longer cuz it gets dark early, we get blasted with rain, snow and wind and it gets us down but we remember that spring is on its way cuz the bare earth tells us of what is to come. I'll know more come spring

Ambition

I like the idea of evolution myself cuz why the hell not eh? I guess in considering the idea it could explain the broadness and variation of people on the spectrum, natures way of testing out different modifications to see which strain will work best for future survival - who knows which of these abilities nature decides is the best but with the all the changes in the world, the things people have done to it, who knows if autism is related to that in the form of a modification for future survival due to the changes we've made as a species to the planet. Just to throw another angle in to things.

A bitter blow eh?

Yeah I'm kinda bored now I know its wrong to say that but I'm laughing so much right now that I sorta hope you'll just forgive me and know that you made me laugh and that's a good thing Er... changing subject... How do you find autumn and winter? You walk out the door at the appropriate time of year and the environment around you tells you - and there you go, you've found autumn or winter

Nooooooo what have you done? You've brought it back to life and I'll have to go through mourning and separation anxiety again when it dies!!! Door

To be disappointed I would have to have believed in them in the first place and I do not and did not - sure they have some info, its useful for giving people the gist about autism, but for me personally they offer little or nothing more. To take personal responsibility and use that to look for answers or pointers from the NAS is futile because they do not have the answers. The simple fact is that is someone threw me into a desert and left me there I would have choices, sit down and die, wander around aimlessly and then give up and die, wait and hope someone came along and if they didn't I could die - or I could pick a direction and walk, and walk until I could walk no more, and then I would crawl if I had to, and maybe I'd get somewhere, maybe I'd dig for water if I found the right location, maybe I'd get enough energy to walk again, maybe. As I see it even "maybe" is worth walking towards because its better than sitting around waiting to die or giving up, and "maybe" is about taking on more personal responsibility because walking is trying to do something much better than sitting down waiting to die, and "maybe" could lead to anything, certainly opens up a lot more different places than going nowhere does. The first year of my diagnosis I felt very isolated, I thought there would be help at last - there is - but not in the way I thought, you have to use knowledge and experience and do something cuz nobody else is gonna do it for you. The diagnosis provides answers and understanding to some things, but it doesn't provide a solution, that has to come from elsewhere and largely from within ourselves and the people who do know what they are talking about through their experience and not from some society like the NAS.

Some people have argued that people on the autistic spectrum do not react in "nt" ways to medications, maybe there is some truth in that for anti-depressants in particular are geared at certain chemicals based on the "nt" brain. I'm not sure how much truth there is in that idea, but I see it as viable in some instances, for example when I go to the dentist and need injections, instead of 2 I get 4, if I need 4 I get given 6 because they just don't work at their usual doses.

That's a good conclusion, and one I am working on in my life. If nothing is done then nothing will change.

I mean in the rain