JsMum

what does his statement say in part 4 right now? Thats the school that would be expected for your son to attend until tribunal date. JsMumx

Hi Louise first a warm welcome. I would look into what provisions and services are available in your area for example something similair to this. http://www.asperger.org.uk/what-we-offer/services.asp http://www.asperger.org.uk/what-we-offer/services-social-groups.asp http://www.asperger.org.uk/about-aea/links.asp I would also recommend you access a Welfare Rights Service in your area who can look at all the benefits your son may be entitled to. The links above may have community based ones but National Autistic Society have a Welfare Rights service also. http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/welfare-rights-service.aspx Your son maybe able to access communication aids and ICT to assist him with his college course to enquire at the college about any disability grants. I would also contact your local council and discuss activities and social events that put on over the summer holidays for Adults with special needs. You could request an Assessment of his needs that looks at their needs and puts together a care plan with details of provisions and services. http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/benefits-and-community-care/care-and-benefits-for-parents-and-carers/care-support-for-children-with-autism.aspx Regaurding the Anger issues you could request a referral to the Adults Mental Health Team who can assess his emotional and mental health needs and request in writing that your son recieve some Anger Management. If you do not want to go throw the NHS there are private services such as the Anger Management and recommend thier book too, also look at hiring or purchasing books that look at Anger with Asperger Syndrome or Disabilities aimed at Adolescents/Adults. http://www.angermanage.co.uk/ http://www.beatinganger.com/ There are courses for parents to attend but they can be expensive but so can replacing doors and furniture so it could be an investment. I would defo recommend the Beating Anger by Mike Fisher. I am hoping to attend some of the courses in September/October. Look at books aimed at Adults with Aspergers Syndrome Tony Attwood has some good ideas on a TOOL BOX which you invent to ensure you have the tools to deal with Anger/frustration/feelings. http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Adult+Aspergers+Syndrome&x=14&y=13 It only hit me this week that one day my adolescent young lad will soon be an Adult. Is is going to be a really exciting time for all of you, my last advise is to have somewhere in the house that is just for him, a corner of a room or seperate room/shed/tent that is soley for him so he can have somewhere to go for his own space kit it out with beanbags/relaxer chairs/books/magazines/music somewhere he can chill out but not have to hide in his bedroom, a special place he can chill out in. Have a daily, visualised timetable up especially as its the holidays now and keep to a daytime routine. All the very best and really nice to meet you. JsMumx

Was your son in a special school? has your son just finished GCSEs, if so no one can underestimate the stress of GCSEs so it could be that he is just catching up on sleep so maybe it is just going to take some time. Since may he has been at home and school can offer a structure, routine and boundaries which would of helped a lot for predictability. I recommend looking at a daily visual timebable for at home, what are his interests would he be interested in joining his local gym, go swimming, cycling, camping with his brother, just something that gets him out and maybe improve his interaction with his brother. Maybe get them both to do some fund raising activities or ask your local council if there are any clubs that would interest your son. Contact your local Autism outreach team to look at stratagies to put in place to help you son have a more structured day time. Once my sleep goes out of sync everything is effected so it is best to have a good evening routine with a active day routine to help the evening routine be more successful. JsMumx

To have a reading age of an 13yr old but reaching a level 2b/c could indicate a litracey impairment such a Dyslexia or other Speech and Language impairments. There could be discrepancies between the results and Percentiles are very important as they give a pointer to where your son is to where other children. So at 8yrs old he has a reading age of 13 that could place your son on the percentil of say out of a 100 children your son is 100 percent better at reading than other children. But if your son has a spelling age of a 5yr old then his spelling pecentile could be 5 or 6 so 95/96 children have a better advantage of spelling than your son. It could be an indicator your son has a specific learning difficulty. I recommend you contact your nearest Dyslexia Action support group who do assessments on literacy and language. Another recommendation is an assessment of Speech and Language and if you can afford it a private assessment as this what we did without it we would not of accessed SALT. JsMumxx

Really relieved to read that all is positive xxxx JsMum

Is he under a special needs dentistry. My J was due to have local for a root filling and they where going to use a slow release system, but it was changed to actual extraction. Js having all his new teeth treatment when he moves to his new resi school(2 weeks time) and he is having braces and extractions. I would say local is defo more safer way but Js needed specialist support because of a traumatic dentist experience. The local can also cause additional issues with the feelings of numbness and then the feeling coming back. You may need a specialist dentist centre that cater for children and adults with disabilities,special needs,additional needs. JsMumx

Is this the first sign of the SEND system callapsing due to the sheer NUMBER of parents willing to go all the way to get what their children NEED. I am in the beliefe of your other post that this is defo ment to be to get the right judge but the frustration having to wait again and again must be driving you crazy, if your salt lady said 3 have also been cancelled at least you know your not alone and that its just the sheer numbers going towards tribunal! Which in a way is a good sign parents are fighting back. All that money though that the LEA are using to Fight against parents could be used to actually help towards provisions and therapies, instead 20 grand per child is going down the SEND drain. I know its frustrating but keep fighting, there is a reason for what is happening. JsMumxxx

Absaloutly blummin tragedy and I do think the adolescent unit he was in 2 weeks previously should of defo done more, duty of care comes to mind in this situation. JsMumx

Tally <'> <'> <'> So so sorry for this tragic news, I have only read it and in total shock, I have read the article and you must be very proud of his ambition and goals he has set in his life, all those miles he cycled, truely inspiring. Your stregnth and courage shines in your posts Tally to have to cope with such a tragic loss but your dealing with this head on and obously you have some of your brothers qualities, it will be very hard for the next year but you know we are all here. Really Tally, truely sorry this has happened. JsMumxxx

I'd send you a link but I'm writing this from my IPod wow Kathryn, really impressed there, ask your lad he will know, kids one day they will rule the world because us foggies wont know how to operate anything, except the kids! JsMumxx

Really rooting for you and your son, it is really stressful and will be thinking about you, and praying that you do get your son what he NEEDS. I think your amazing Sally and sure your going to be fine but if your wobbly just remember your a strong confident person and you can do this, really recommend taking some time out for yourself if you can and if you are oright with massage really recommend some pampering and stressbusting massage. Breathe is my number one tip, you are going to be fine though. Good Luck for the future. JsMumxxx

My sons best friend recieve extra support and tuition for been on the Gifted and Talented sceme, he is in yr 9 in a mainstream and sitting GCSEs and predicted a A* he has admitted that he hasnt revised or put in the effort and just seems to get throw the work effortlessly, if he gains a A* in this situation I said imagine if you studied, put in the work and effort your mark would be off the scale, wouldnt you want to be able to see your true potential and see what could be achievable if you put your all in it. I have to read page repeatedly to process information and my IQ is below average, It doesnt matter how hard I try or how much effort I put in my results are still always average. You should go throw life knowing youve tried your best. You need to set challenges up to really push yourself by the sounds of it and been the class clown may get you friends but where will those friends be in ten years time? If your truely that miserable at your current school and your depressed you may need a different type of aproach to learning and therefore a different type of special school. No good progressing achademically if your emotional and mental health is deteriating. Look at special schools that take talented and gifted young people with AS. JsMumx

Hi Forgetmenot My son has 1-1 at school because of the switch, he is very unpredictable and though happy one minuet angry and anxious the next my son finds simple tasks very difficult usally because that task might entail a change or a transition so Please put on your shoes, he understands he is going out and gets anxious outdoors, J didnt tidy his room because he knew his sanction would be he wasnt allowed out to his social activity and he didnt want to go. Look at the tasks, what are they, break them down, give warnings, use social stories to help prepare your son for daily tasks, use visual time tables and colour coded symboled calanders to help him get use to tasks and changes. Remove objects and likely furniture that could harm when he is angry, aggressive and disruptive. Definately have a discussion with school to see if there is a change of instant mood change, my son has Depression and Anxiety and he has also been recently labeld with Conduct Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a milder form in children under 10. There are parental courses for children with ODD so get intouch with YOUNG MINDS who will be able to locate a local NHS ODD parent group, these courses are for under 10s. Look at Anger Management tools, books aimed at children, look at stress relaase techneques and maybe have a list on the wall visually of ways he can manage his anger more safely, Anger is an emotion and something we all get at times but its the way we deal with it that matters. Ask the school if there is any emotional litracy classes, self esteem because low self esteem will cause the anger and violence to increase. What your son clearly needs is help and support and you need additional support to help manage his distressing behaviour. Relate are a councilling service that may be of some benefit due to your feelings about your sons Dad which has obvously left you raw with anger too, so recommend looking at what Relate have to offer, I did thier Moving On course very powering. If your son has ASD there are also the courses for ASD too. I once video recorded J without him knowing and showed it to his GP, Psychiatrist and Headteacher and I got support from them. JsMumx

I am gonna love the hotel weekend stay in the Lakes, J was well happy when he heard the staff say that they will put mum in a hotel for weekend, J is going to be having a mini summer camp, the new school lady said that they do lots of activities and days out over the summer and with him been in the lake district its the ideal location for absailing and hiking,there are around 20 other boys who come and go over the summer holidays so he wont be the only one their over the holidays as some are looked after children so he is going to be fine I am sure. Enid here anytime if you want a chat, just pm if things are getting hard again, a problem shared is a problem halved. Ive just cut my grass ready for J tomorrow as he comes home for the day tomorrow, we might be going to a farm. JsMumx

I was about recommend Net Nanny but you already have it and if he has bypassed it all he is one clever kid. Is it this one? http://www.pcworld.co.uk/gbuk/r/NET%20NANNY/0_0_0/ My son has also accessed inapropriate internet use, both at home and at school. I would look at contacting a computer service/internet providers to see if there is more filer devises or external filter devices, there must be something out there that can block, restrict the internet, if not it needs inventing now. What about the local colleges, schools who have to put on filter, restrictions for thier children or contact a local computer store somewhere like PCWORLD. Youngminds may be able to advise you further also about the internet concerns. http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ Also this. http://www.childnet-int.org/safety/parents.aspx search engine Internet safety for teenagers. Sorry your having this difficult situation as we are too, your not alone. JsMumxx

The first two weeks Jay Starts we cant see each other at all, just phone contact the school say children settle better that way, then the third weekend the school are paying for ME to stay in a Hotel and I will then spend Saturday and Sunday with J, then on the 6th Weekend Boys who can usually go home for the weekend, Due to J been on a ICO its just daily contact at the moment, we go back to court at the end of July and I have just had a Mental Health Assessment carried out by a court psychiatrist, if the report says I am well enough to have J for weekends then were hoping that J will come home weekends. So it depends on the mental health assessment report really. Me and J have decided to concentrate on settling in at school and to enjoy the contact days as both get a lot out of them as its quality time. I do want J to come home for weekends eventually but want to really make sure J settles in at his new school. We got the final date today and its less than 4 weeks. The new school have rang and are making transition plan, a lady from the school is going to be visiting J over the next four weeks to get to know him better and I am compiling the Childrens portfolio book from Cebebra a free book that is made of the child so that the new school know as much as possible about J, the school are also going to be doing a social story and bringing photos to show J of his Care staff and his new residential unit at his new school so were all really trying to ensure the transition is as smooth as possible. Working today with the new school was a really nice too. I have some great news too, I have a going to be a volunteer at a local community service. JsMumxxx

Jay starts his new 52wk residential specialist school in July, we got the confirmation today that commissioning panel have agreed to fund his new placement and we are so happy as we have fighted for so long for this, the school is part of the priory group services and they have been really great with us, especially me, his classroom is really nurting and cosy and a proper little haven and his teacher motherly and understanding. Jay cant wait as he is allowed all the stuff he has at respite in his new school, so TV, Xbox, Phone, the rooms are all fitted, so they cant throw furniture and pull off doors and the bed cant baracade the door, so its all safe. The reliefe is emense, soon as the news was confirmed my shoulders just felt instantly lighter and the stress just washed over my skin and I know things are just going to be better now, no more traveling for Jay who has had to travel to three different placements all over England, now its all in one in the beautiful lake district, he so matches the Lakes, full of adventure and energy A perfect match. The plan now is to work on Jay transitioning to the new school, how we get all his stuff from his respite to the school is anyones guess he has loads to pack. Its my Birthday next week and I couldnt of asked for a better Birthday Presant. Its the news weve been waiting for ages and we have finally got there. JsMumxxxx

Here is more information on CAF. https://www.education.gov.uk/publications/standard/publicationdetail/page1/IW91%2f0709 I collected the information from Contact A Family. http://www.cafamily.org.uk/index.php?module=newsmodule&action=view&id=342&src=@random489b01b533fb5 http://www.autismeducationtrust.org.uk/en/good-practice/written%20for%20you/professionals/p%20multi-agency%20support.aspx http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/benefits-and-community-care/care-and-benefits-for-parents-and-carers/care-support-for-children-with-autism/social-services-getting-help-for-children-england-and-wales.aspx My son had two CAFs and last year a Core Assesment. The assessments identify needs and stage of criteria and provisions for example Weekly Day Respite or Residential Respite, Sessional Workers, Activity Groups, and specific services. JsMumx

Shelby couldnt access her education because there was no care staff to take her to school, she had to heave Shelby into the family car and take her younger children too, I thought that was absaloutly disgusting that she wasnt in school because no one was able to take her and like she said if any of her other children where out of school the welfare would be knocking on the door. The other thing that really upset me was that Williams new wounderful Bedroom was all raised throw charity raising, not one bit was from the goverment and that again is disgusting. I watched this on my laptop in the evening and it is a wonderful inspiring film and once J is in the right provision accessing the right support and accessing the right therapies I am going to finally relax. The children where amazing.xxx JsMumxxx

Hi Jeanne We have finally identified a 52wk Residential specialist school, The 52wk residential specialist school run by The priory Group have assessed J and have offered J a place. Its big day because its judgement day where the Commissioning panel meet to dicuss funding as Js 52wk placement has to be funded by Health, Care and Education, when J was in a 38wk provision it was just funded by Education so the 52wk provision has to be funded by all the services, so today is a big day. fingers crossed, wont know probably until tomorrow though. Js statement draft statement is finalised today and the LEA have already agreed that J attends a 52wk school part 4 is blank at present so today were hoping for the priory group school to be named today on his statement in part 4. I hate the not knowing bit, the tention and build up is a great strain and the pressure is emense sometimes I think my head will bust with the tension. It is well recognised now that Js needs are a 52wk provision if the priory group school is named today he begins after the half term and starts a fresh in the summer holidays, probably because funding has already been agreed for his present 38wk residential school that he attends part time so will probably wait until that has finally ended. so J could be in a new residential school in months time. Were so nervious for waiting for the final decision. Will let you know the decision as soon as I do, the whole basis of agreeing an ICO is so J accessess a 52wk specialist Residential School to meet ALL his special educational needs. JsMumx

Hi blm They said that rocking whilst reading/working is common and so is chewing sleeves/twisting hands. This could also be a sign and symptoms of Anxiety, nerviousness and the rocking could be self stimulation and self reasurance. Absaloutly recommend The Out of Syncs Child book. The teacher did say that he has 'meltdowns' where he will cry when he is set a task which he doesn't think he can do My son has similair difficulties, he has a lot of aviodant behaviours one of the main reason is fear he will fail, he does not like failing, when he was in yr 3 he made mistakes and his work was shown to the rest of the children by the teacher and the teacher scolded out these words to everyone, Everyones work better be better than this, then tossed Js efforts in the bin and told him to do it again, he has Severe Dyslexia and severe literacy impairments since then he is very reluctant to try for fear he will make mistakes. Crying / meltdowns is also something which lots of children do apparently Evidence then that your son is not the only one struggling and how many other parents are been told the same sentence. Behaviour is a form of communication, bad or good, positive or negative, there is a reason. I should remove him from competitive sports which he likes doing (football/kickboxing) I would not stop these just because a TEACHER said so, if he is progressing and taking an active part in the actitivities then that is only positive there will be a lot of positives in his actitives, such as social skills, team building, confidence, self defence, safety about martial arts, disaplin, ect,,, my sons school a special school I add didnt agree my son attending Boxing and Judo, but after a discussion with the Trainers I decided to let my son attend also the added bonus is that your son is active and so not in his room on his consoles and pc. tv. ect... so it will be actually be a big benefit to him. My son lasted one session in beavers as he refused to wear their logo Jumper, it was the rule, even though he had just ran around a hall and sweating his socks off, he did attend another unit for a few months but the unit itself dwindled in numbers probably all gone to kick boxing and football clubs!!!! She also said that I should reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad and that should see the end to my concerns. It is not always safe for the child or others to ignore bad behaviour, often more than not especially in my sons case he doesnt care if its negative or positive attention along as he is getting a reaction, hence he is on sanctions often at school/home and often when a child is rewarded for good behaviour it quickly can change into bad behaviour yet youve just rewarded them. My son is impulsive and unpredictable, can be fine one moment, the next flip. I feel a little 'fobbed off' and like a paranoid mother now to be honest so is your sixth sence telling you something then! I am really reluctant to remove him from an activity which he absolutely loves. Then dont remove him then. This isn't the only place he cries, it's if ANYTHING doesn't go according to the plan in his head, even doing his laces or something similar! Frustration when he cant succeed, control and setting adgenda are to help reduce his anxieties and to have less chance of failing if things are on his terms. Am I the only one who doesn't feel it right to send him to Beavers even if he doesn't want to go! If he doesnt want to go then he shouldnt be made to go, this is in his time after school and an activity that will only be fun if he is motivated and wanting to go. It doesnt sound like you got the support you needed with him, the school are dictating how to bring up yur son when your already got him in activities and have concerns about his learning. I would defo see what the Doctor and the assessments come out with, back in the early days with my own son the school tried to imply it was my parenting when infact he has special needs. If it doesnt feel right, its because it isnt! Mothers intuition. What about a private Educational Psychology Assessment? I know the deflated, not listened, just blamed feeling, dont dispair, you will get throw this, so keep on logging down your concerns as this will become the past because by heck our kids grow up so fast, though at the time of struggle it doesnt feel like that. If you feel deep down something is just not quite right and he is struggling in school just keep sharing your concerns with the Doctors. JsMumx

Well done for going all the way to tribunal, many parents sadly dont, so Im in orr that your going all the wayxxxx Good luck, get as much sleep, rest, pamper me sessions as possible from now and until Thursday Have you given the SEND panel the Medical CAMHS AS diagnosis letters? if so then they will take notice of the reports even if the LA have ignored them. You have to prove that your sons needs can not be met at the current school and why the indepenant school can. Express clearly your view that your son is not progressing with his current school contary to the LEAs beliefs, Many Ed Psychs are used as witnesses for LEAs and back up Local Authorities so just ensure you share your opinion that the current school does not meet his needs clearly. Dont be put off that your Just the Parent, the Panel are open to hearing ALL parties, and your just as important as the proffesionals. I would say remember to Breath, take a drink with you and ensure you eat so your blood sugars are not dipping in the meeting, take Nuts/bananas if your not Nut alergy obvously. Be calm, clear, write down key notes of what you want to get across the most and what you DO WANT. Did you recieve a DVD about the process of the tribunal. Just do your best, no one can ask for more than thatxxx JsMumx

Jeanne on so many levels your post is very positive for Glen in how he responded going back to the home, that is success in many ways, I know its terribly distressing for you though, you know deep down you did do your absalout best, it was probably overwhelming for Glen too to be back home for the weekend as well, its great news Glen has setteled back at the home and having Glen for a short period has made you realised you made the right decision with resi that meets all his needs as it isnt care, its provision and support for Glen and his family.xxx JsMumxxx

I am just giving you an opinion, you did a lot of bashing too in reguards your step sons mother, maybe I just identify with your stepson mother more than you, we are allowed our opinions, you explained a lot of sanarios why you Dont think your step son has Autism because he play with kids, behaves at a playmates dinner invite and I shared with you the difficulties a ASD person has with social situations, thats not defensive. JsMumx

The Clinical Psychologist is continuing to work with my son because of his severe issues with anxiety, low confidence and self esteem, night terrors and Trichotillomania (pulling out his eyelashes, eyebrows and hair) The poor lad has been bullied, isolated and made to feel acutely aware of how “different” he is since day one so his confidence is just shot at beyond belief.and he is still attending mainstream primary. crums, Your lad is doing amazing to still put himself to school, so I understand your concerns over a large secondary school, did the clinical psychologist do any further medical report to support you, you need to prove that the larger secondary school WILL NOT MEET YOUR SONS NEEDS. I am in a way relieved to read this was a LEA Panel and not the SEND Panelxxx Does your son have a statement?School Action Plus? I would continue with the assessments and in the mean time apply for a statement if your son has not got a statement because even just the descrition you described abiut his anxiety and been bulllied is enough to be effecting his learning. I would defo get more support with this, a local parent group, parent partnership, NAS, Contact a Family. Good Luck JsMumx