Lyndalou

The first thought I had was that you simply fell asleep in the bath which is a very easy but very dangerous thing to do and the best thing would be to ensure you don't do this again if at all possible. I'm very glad that your dad was able to help you before you slipped under the water which would be an inevitable outcome considering you filled the bath so full! Perhaps in future it would be more sensible to use cooler water - very hot water can play havoc with your body's ability to regulate it's own temperature and may have led to some of the symptoms you describe and can also lead to scalding - and to not fill the bath as much. There may be other simple interventions such as asking your parents to check on you every few minutes. I can't see why it would be necessary to oversee you bathing if this is the first time this has ever happened. Of course, if there is some underlying reason why you fell asleep and it is likely that it could happen again then of course it would be sensible for your parents to monitor you but I think it would be a backward step for your independence otherwise! I have fallen asleep in the bath before and was very woozy and disoriented when I woke up. It gave me quite a fright as I'm sure it did you.

I think the 'loving' baking part is the important bit! Personally, I can't bake and have no interest in it but I very much like EATING cake and biscuits, nom nom!! I am very impressed by people who can Maybe you just have to go into this thinking that it's a way to get back into the swing of things and another skill to add to your repertoire. Everyone else attending the class should be paying close attention to what they are doing themselves - I would imagine that all that piping and icing requires a fair bit of concentration! Try not to compare yourself to anyone else because you don't know how much practice they have had already at home or elsewhere. You are doing the course for YOU and you have to remember you're there to LEARN!

Hi Sally I make the application for Primary at the end of the month. Seemingly, you just have to present yourself to whatever school you want your child to attend and fill in the relevant details 'onsite'. Had no idea that this is the way it is done until I phoned up the LA trying to verify dates applications had to be in by. So, I just have to turn up the special needs school and make the application (I already know that he has an automatic place) but I'll just have to turn up too to the mainstream school I have already discussed with the professionals involved in my son's education to cover my bases meantime. I have heard through the 'jungle drums' that 15 staff are set to lose their jobs shortly at the special needs school - roughly 1 per class! God only knows how many staff will be going in mainstream schools locally if that's the case!! I think it'll be wise to just keep my eyes and ears open for the next little while, see what happens and hope that someone gives me straight answers when I need them!

Good on you! Glad it went well - you must be very happy!!

Well Done! Good Luck with the interview.

Hi Adam I'm sorry you had such a hard time when you went on that other forum. However, it is probably for the best that you won't be going on that site again. From what I can see, the forum you are talking about seems to be a 'Singles' site which means it wouldn't be appropriate for what you are trying to achieve and the kind of audience you want to attract. Maybe take some guidance about what sites would be best for you from people you trust. Good Luck with your quest! Lynda

36 kids per class just sounds like pure madness to me! How can kids learn anything and mores the point, how can the teacher even start to recognise which kids need more help and tailor work accordingly?

I've just had a look at the legislation and it would appear that the 25 pupil cap applies to Primary 1 only. It only recently was written into law but is coming up against all sorts of problems already. When the SNP came into power in the Scottish parliament one of their manifesto pledges was that they would reduce class sizes to 18 pupils per class from Primary 1 - 3 (Legislation still places a limit of 30 on class sizes Primary 4 - 7). They've gone back on that pledge because there weren't the rooms and teachers to be able to follow through on it! I personally can't see how if a school requires there to be 30 places for older pupils how it works to have a 25 pupil cap in Primary 1!

Thanks Kathryn and Sally I've got some time to do my research and I think that gives me some time to talk to staff and visit the various schools in the area. The most recent report for the special school my son attends nursery was very good and I know there is a lot of dedicated staff with specialist knowledge there. Yesterday, I was speaking to my teacher friend again and she was saying that with all the cutbacks and funding pressures, it is a very likely scenario that mainstream class sizes will rise again in the near future. I wasn't aware that the present cap is 25 per class in a primary setting but she said this will possibly rise to 28 (like it was before). She also said it is a distinct possibility that classroom assistants could be axed across the board. That sounds absolutely dreadful if it is what is in the offing! Her words were that this generation are set to be completely failed by the education system....horrifying...and very upsetting. I remember the effects the 'work to rule' had in the 80's! Anyway, it's something to bear in mind I also can't help thinking that it would be larger schools who would be much more affected than schools with smaller rolls. Lynda

I'm going to throw something else into the mix... When I did my Heritage Management Postgrad we had 2 lecturers one of whom believed that Scots is a 'dialect' or rather the 4 distincts Scots dialects are 'dialects' or derivatives of English and the other lecturer believed that Scots is a 'sister language' to English. They had a fair few barneys about it. I love the English language but I am intrigued by Scots, partly because I understand a lot of it when it is spoken and often use Scots in conversation purely because the English 'equivalent' is just not descriptive enough but I couldn't hold an entire conversation in it. I bought a Scots / English dictionary recently and recognised so very little of it that I was really taken aback but it struck me that the words were so alien to English, why could it only be described as a dialect especially as the roots of so many of the words come from so many different languages? Dreich, drookit, boorach, steer, muckle - all brilliantly descriptive words. Fit fit does it fit? - round here that means ' Which foot does it fit? or Fit Like means 'How are you?' Around 3 years ago, I went through a phase of being driven daft thinking about the origin of some words...I commented to my husband that I wondered why a door was called a door etc. Now and again, if he wants to wind me up he'll go 'But why is a door called a door?' grrrr! I also get a bit wound up when people copy how I annunciate words or make fun of how I put things. When I first met my husband's family they used to say 'Och Aye the noo' to me every time I walked in the room and it was bl00dy annoying especially since this phrase doesn't even exist! 'But n Ben a Go Go' is a brilliant book set in the future, written entirely in Scots and even some made-up words that the author thinks could exist in the future. I could only read it when I read out loud!

Just spent an hour writing a post and then it didn't save so this will be short! I'm glad to hear how much of a difference your son's new school has made to his ability to concentrate and it must be such a relief to see him more settled and happy. My son's hearing is described as 'acute' and his ability to mimic is quite uncanny and his musical ability is obvious. He is intrigued by echoes, rythmical noises, lorries backing up, seatbelt alarms etc etc but he is easily distracted by them too. However, when he is focused or concentrating on writing on his letters or watching a DVD he often doesn't 'hear' unless the TV is turned off or I say his name repeatedly. Conversely, he can be made very upset by loud or high pitched sudden noises and by many voices speaking at once (loud chatter or droning). I know both of those things could be examples of auditory and sensory processing difficulties. I spoke to the HV today who agreed that the local mainstream school, with it's open plan layout could be disorienting and loud, even for adults! She told me that she's heard no bad reports about the small school I've been looking at and I think that's at least a good starting point for further discussion. Lynda

My husband has 3 main different types of socks; his black 'good' socks, his white sports socks and his grey sports socks. He also has a few randoms, seldom worn. I end up pairing all the blooming things and I find that the sports socks especially, even though they are all the same often don't truly match because some are more worn than others! Therefore, I have to make sure each pair has the same level of wornness about them and then I have to half-ball them as he doesn't like them fully balled.... so I'd say it makes no difference at all for them all to be the same! I find it much easier to ball the kids' socks because they're all different so easier to pair. I also have a great collection of 'hand' socks - my son's hand-me-down socks I use as gloves for my daughter who has bad excema. They work great cos they mostly go up to her armpits!

Kazzen, thanks for the point you raised - I never considered that but of course it's quite fundamental. Lynne, I've started reading through all the primary school websites, going out further and further from where we live. One school I hadn't even considered is classed as a 'village' school and is quite close at hand. The Ed Psych is approachable (when she's reachable?!) and I think she would give me a truthful unbiased opinion about the realities of what some of these schools can offer. I have no idea what level my son's learning difficulties would be classed as taking in all the factors so maybe that's something I need to clarify I've heard good things about AR in Peterhead but that is a considerable distance away as is Banff (although nice for a day trip). Kintore has grown so considerably that by all accounts the new school they built to accomodate the influx of children was too small before they even finished building it. I would imagine that they must be planning a new one...surely? Sally, again thank you for what you have written. As always, it gives me a lot to ponder. What I never considered before either was getting a sensory evaluation. I think my son has 'fluctuating' difficulties with many things. He can tolerate certain noises for instance, if not under pressure although I think certain noises are problematic a lot of the time. I'm not sure how that can be assessed? Touch is an issue that figures highly a lot of the time though along with his perception of what 'mess' is. A while back at nursery/playgroup he couldn't stand getting paint on his hands but now he actually quite enjoys this activity. However, if he gets water on his hands unexpectedly, he also calls this 'mess' and it has to be dealt with promptly! I'm not sure about any visual sensitivites apart from him being afraid or made upset by certain images (I know not really the same thing) - one from babyhood is 'Teletubbies' and he still runs screaming from the room when he sees them, even a still image on a DVD cover!! I think this actually could be some kind of phobia? Lots to think about x

We're in Inverurie, Lynne. Kids come from all over the place to go to Stru's nursery, from the outskirts of Aberdeen right up to New Deer etc although further north I believe they get the option of Peterhead. Kintore has grown so much I think I have to rule it out because I've just been told they have 6 primary one classes in one Primary School though I'll have to confirm that! Lynda x

Hi Sally Like you touched on, I think the main problem for me is that in the words of the headteacher of the special needs school where my son attends nursery, my son is an 'inbetweenie'. I am reassured to be told that if he were to remain at the special needs school for primary level that he would follow the same curriculum as in mainstream but at the same time I worry that he will lose touch with his mainstream peers. As it currently stands, when he attends mainstream playgroup he has the opportunity to learn to socialise and although it's not perfect by any means, his stress is manageable and he looks forward to going there as he does nursery. I don't think the fact it is a split placement is causing too much trouble with regard to routine. He goes the same set days to both placements and if anything, he gets upset that he is not going on the weekend to either place. It is clear that the playgroup staff try their very best with him and attempt to keep how they do things consistent with what we do at home at at nursery. However, they don't have training or expertise in working with children with ASD so they can be a bit hesitant with him and try to make sure that he doesn't become upset in any way. At nursery, I know they are much more equipped to be able to support him if he does become upset and understand his stressors more. Today I have been even more put off the SEN unit at the mainstream primary. I know someone (whom I haven't seen in a while) who's son started there in August. It was clear that things are not going brilliantly but she was trying to put a brave face on it. She said that he goes into the mainstream class from the SEN at times during the week and that the teacher said he was 'just the same as all the other children', that he understood the instruction he was given (although he has had recent tests and his understanding is well below his age) and that everything was going great. Three days later she said she was telephoned to discuss how far behind he was falling in class. There were other things she told me in addition that ring a lot of alarm bells. I know that my son is currently copying a lot of behaviours that are inappropriate but he is also learning a lot of appropriate behaviours. My hope would be that in whatever setting he is in that the teaching and other staff would encourage the appropriate behaviours and be able to cope with the inappropriate ones. He's still very young and as you say, it's very difficult to know how fast or if his grasp of social expectations will come on. However, he responds very well to praise and to cuddles and is generally quite good natured. Some of his main difficulties are definitely noise and not knowing how to respond appropriately. 'Mess' and certain kinds of touch also figure highly among his problems. In both his special needs and mainstream placements he has always been happy to approach an 'chat' to the staff and is trying very hard to interact with the other children. I suppose I have thought that if he were to go to a small school, say one day a week, then routine-wise he would know he goes there one day a week, he would get to know the staff and they would get to know his needs (perhaps with some specialist assistance), there would be low levels of noise and distraction and the high child/adult ratio would ensure that even at breaktimes it might be easier to manage how he interact with other children and how they interact with him. I know it perhaps wouldn't be ideal but it would ensure he maintains contact with mainstream kids and the rest of the week he would have the specialist intervention. There doesn't appear to be any autism-specific units anywhere around where we live so I think any decision I reach would have to be a 'compromise' solution. The other larger school in the town which has a more 'Victorian' layout has a special need unit too but half is apportioned to Learning Difficulties and the other to Language Disorders. Neither of those would (I believe) suit my son's needs. I have still to look at the other towns within driving distance properly but one does not have any SEN needs provision at all from what I can see. Many thanks Lynda

Thanks Sally - just seen post. I'll write when I have the opportunity again...

Thanks Justine and Lynne What I'm mostly considering (I suppose) is still a split placement option. What came up at the meeting was that it was felt that in terms of academic ability, my son is on a par with the average and above average in some areas. The general consensus was that currently his understanding is below average and he is believed to be able to only pick up on 2 key words within a sentence (I personally think that there are times when he understands much more but I'm willing to go along with the SALT's evaluation meantime). It was also agreed that he has a number of sensory issues and that he can have considerable difficulty with having people close to him, especially when he can't get way from them. I think that this is why he copes reasonably well at his mainstream playgroup because it is quite a big room and lots of area to move about and keep a distance. Even though noise can be problematic, if he gets space he can cope better all round. I've always had the problem with him going into more 'enclosed' spaces so I wonder if claustrophobia may come into the equation too? So, this is where I have the big question mark about him going into the SEN unit at the mainstream school. The space is quite small - if all the kids attended that day it might be quite claustropobic. The school is growing all the time and the local authority is cutting the jobs of playground monitors so he onus falls completely on the teachers to ensure control. Stru would walk out of his unit and into (potentially) a large amount of children coming the opposite direction and I was very aware of the echoes and bangs bouncing about myself so wonder how he would cope with all of that. This is when he start to sweat and panic and starts to screech and cry.... I would hope Lynne that break times would be 'managed' like you say but I'm also very aware that I want him to have the oportunity to be around mainstream kids if he was in a mainstream school but I'm just not sure if it would be the main stressor for him.

Oh dear! Sympathies. Hope he saw the funny side...

I've been trying to make some decisions about options for my son's schooling next year. After an interim meeting which I requested - a good meeting, I think with good honest discussion about my son's progress and what he can currently cope with - a decision was reached that next year I will make applications for both the special needs school and the local mainstream school i our catchment which has a special needs unit. The thought is that he will at start at special needs school next August (Primary 1) with the view to possibly over the course of the year have him going to the mainstream school for a few hours a week. His progress is to be reviewed over the course of this year to see how his speech and social skills improve. I visited the mainstream school a few weeks ago to see what they offered. It is an open plan school and the special needs area (Primary 1-3) is sectioned off in the same way, except the partitions are higher. I did seem like this area was a lot 'quieter' or at least the noise from the rest of the Primary 1's and 2's was muffled and it felt 'safe'. It also had a 'reserved' outside play area and the ratio of pupils to teachers seemed good. However, I was very aware of just how busy the school is and when it came to break time it was pretty noisy and chaotic. I was unsure about the procedure at that time of looking into other schools and it has been explained to me that this school provides 'the best' special needs support in the area. I got talking to another mum recently who is also a deputy head at a primary school in the city. We live in what is classed a rural area so I thought our options would be pretty limited. She told me that we could apply to any number of schools including very rural schools outwith our town. Although 'rural', our town and surrounding towns have been expanding hugely over the last few years and the infrastructure is struggling to cope with the influx of families. There is a new school in the planning stages which is also going to be open plan. Therefore, I have started looking at what other schools there are. There is a primary which currently has (in total) only around 40 pupils for instance. It is a few miles away but the school has a Support for Learning teacher but no special needs provision per se. Just wondering what people think about the school size overall being a better option to lessen stress in the learning environment over special needs intervention in a very big school?? I've got a while to think about it but trying to 'think outside the box' a bit. Lynda

To me, it sounds like they are seeing each other and it sounds like her parents are ok with it. There is a considerable age difference but stranger things have happened and if he is quite immature for his age maybe they are closer together than you think in their interests and outlooks. At the age of 18 she is considered to be an adult and unless there is some reason to assume that she is not 'adult', albeit naive and often requiring reassurance, then by law the relationship is legal and no offence is taking place. What is of concern to me is that neither of them seems to be respectful of you in the workplace. Personally, I don't like huge shows of affection in public and when your boss is running a business it seems a bit disrespectful of his customers too to subject them to childish lovey-dovey nonsense. What they do in their own private time is their own business but what they do in the workplace is quite different and if he was an employee and not owner in a position of responsibility then you would not be expected to be put in a position to feel so embarrassed by their behaviour. Perhaps you need to find some way of asking him/them to tone things down or be more professional. So, I would stay out of the 'relationship' side of things but only insofar that it does not affect you. Good Luck

Had a wee look and I liked her rant about a guy who tweeted her about being a bad mother. Think similarly myself about people being all sanctimonious about how wonderful it is to stay at home all day every day with the kids with no intellectual stimulation and doing endless thankless chores that get undone the minute they're finished or even before they are completed! BTW. I love my kids. I just don't love being a housewife.

There's a whole bunch of other merchandise that goes with it - he's getting the picture book too. The diesels at their grumpy and unfriendly best...supposed to have a bit of a 'dark' edge to it!

My lad is getting 'Day of the Diesels' for his Christmas. He does love Thomas but goes through spates of wanting to watch lots of it and then he goes off it for a bit. He won't watch the older programmes though as he seems to prefer the CGI ones.

Haven't looked into things in great detail but it would appear that there is supposed to be a new specialist facility being built on the site to open late 2013. From what I can see, this would cater for a range of ages and needs. Seemingly, back when closure of Raeden was announced, the funding needed (£16 million) to complete the project was still not secured By all accounts, there was a consultation process to gauge opinion on 'restructuring' services (which also included parents) prior to it's closure. However, if it was anything like the meetings I attended in the lead up to Adult Disability Services throughout the city being 'restructured' then IMO the decision will have already been reached beforehand and the 'Consultation' would have just served to pad out the plans Perhaps I'm cynical? It does look like they made contingency plans for the interim period in the city (Nursery provision etc) but I didn't see any mention of what plans were put forward for the shire. I'm assuming that the nursery my son attends must have taken up some of the slack out this way

How very weird.... I had an imaginary friend when I was 11 (that's not the weird bit ). Thing is, he was off a children's programme airing when I was a kid. Just through curiosity, I've looked up information on the show and have seen the young actor's real name (I called him by his screen name). It is almost exactly the same as my first boyfriend's name (I never got over him for years) with only one letter of difference! Is that not the weirdest thing???