dekra

Also having collections of things is not a pre-requsite for being an Aspie although many do have them not all - as has been said to you many many times before ASD's are spectrum conditions and everyone is different and wont have all the classic symptoms. To me your obsession with NOT being on the spectrum is indication you could be.

My personal opinion is you are either really an Aspie in denial or you have lied for a reason and whatever that reason is there will be a diagnosis for that as you appear to have some form of issue that is manefesting in your need to have attention ie lying to get a dx you don't seem to think is right - your many posts here all seem like you want attention so I agree with darkshine about why would you hang around a board for ASD when you are so sure you are not on the spectrum.

Some cringeworthy stories there, thanks for making me smile. My car is off the road at the moment as I went into the back of someone (my fault argh, byebye NCD) so we are suffering public transport - yesterday we were waiting at a bus stop and Finn gave me a cuddle, his sister in the buggy a cuddle then grabbed the woman in front of us in the queue around the legs and gave her a cuddle. Has no sense of boundaries but the lady thought it was sweet luckily.

I had a lot of problems with Finn taking his clothes off - once at 7am on a wet but warm summers morning when he sneeked outside to see the bin lorry and trampoline. He was only out for about 2 mins but his resulted in one of the bin men calling in the police and social services! The police laughed it off as a false alarm but social services were hellish - I was heavily pregnant and they were going on about parental responsibility and saying that at 5 weeks short of 3 year old at the time that he should know better than to strip off! He's now 4 years and 4 months old and whilst he doesn't strip off as much he still prefers to be stripped off down below if possible. I have managed to get him into a routine now at least that he only does it in the morning before he gets dressed for the day and in the evening when it's almost time for pj's anyway.

I have the same problem, Finn will point to things now although he was very late starting to do so but his recognition of me pointing at something is extremely limited. Sending him to get something that's only a few feet away (prime example is the baby wipes when I'm in middle of changing a stinky nappy - why do I not get these things BEFORE I open it up?) is often a mutually frustrating exercise. Pointing at something and asking "What's that Finn?" generally ends up in him telling me something else that is closer e.g I point to a bus (he loves buses) but he has a glove in his hand so if I ask "What's that?" and point at the bus he'll look at the glove in his hand and tell me it's a glove. Telling him no it's a bus look just confused him as he know's it's a glove he's holding.

I didn't have a problem with the title of the show but many people do seem to. For me the title summed up something I found hard to admit to myself when we first started having serious concerns about our son's development. At first we'd only talk about it in bed in the dark of the night. Verbalising that there might be something seriously wrong to ourselves was hard enough and eventually to someone else was a huge step as were admitting that the child we love and adore isn't the perfect child we all want our children to be. I think it's similar to the "mourning" process many go through when they get their dx even although they may have known for months or years that their child had ASD and the dx doesn't change who that child is or what their issues are.

We watched this, very interesting especially little Adam with his eventual dx of ASD. I am guessing the parents had to take him to the priory privately for his dx.

Thanks for the replies everyone and special talent that's nice succinct set of instructions thanks for sharing. So far there hasn't been a repeat of the event on Monday and I am hoping it's been a one-off but I'm being vigilent and if it happens again I'll be right back at the dr again so that he can confirm if he thinks it is panic attacks and it can be offically recorded that they are happening.

I can relate to the huge feeling of relief you must be feeling at the moment. When someone takes your concerns seriously even if they don't have the answers yet it's such a huge weight off your mind - you aren't just a paranoid mum. So glad things are moving in the right direction now for you and I hope the process goes well for you both.

I have been on the forum for goodness around 6 months now (where'd the time go?) and I've not made many posts. The types of post I make are generally to ask about specific issues, to thank people that have replied to a query I have make and possibly to ask more details, to just put my tuppence worth in and to put in a message of support if someone has had a tough time or good result (like sally and her tribunal). I don't read all the posts that are made and I don't really have time to be a big contributer to the forum but the forum has been here for me when I've needed support and advice and I like to try to repay that to others, even if it's just repeating to someone else advice I've already been given or to add my own experience of a situation for a comparision. Best advice I can give is just to relax, don't force "friendshop" issues. Participate in the forum as and when you feel comfortable and I am sure you will gradually feel more at home and accustomed to it.

Also google a company called Remploy - they specialise in aiding people with all kinds of disabilities find jobs. As for the gardening - it's not just for profoundly disabled people, stop being a snob - if you don't like gardening fair enough I wouldn't want to be a gardener either but that's just my personal lack of interest. But don't rule the job out because you feel you are "too good" for it.

You say can't/won't look for work on the open market. I'm sorry but the days of positive discrimination are gone. If you want work from almost any source you will need to compete. Work on your strengths rather than your weaknesses and make a plan of what you think you CAN do and what you'd LIKE to do and go from there. No one is going to hand you a job AS or not unless you are suitable, capable and eager.

Even though you didn't pass you did well Tom, look at it as an improvement on your mocks and a guide to where you need to work on while you wait for your next test. It's frustrating waiting for a re-test but you've come so far you'll get there soon.

Thanks ST, it was so frightening for me to see, it must be awful for those of you that have them to experience.

Yesterday after a particularly bad night my 4 year old climbed into my bed beside me (I was working on a Uni assignment in the bedroom so my daughter could play with her toys in the bedroom) and he fell asleep for over 3 hours. When he awoke he was badly agitated and upset as he often is but it became worse, he seemed to be struggling to breath and in pain although he couldn't tell me if he was in pain or not, his heart was racing and bounding. It was very very upsetting for us both and it took almost an hour to calm him down and even then he was still complaining he was cold and I had to wrap him in a blanket and snuggle him under the covers to get a heat in him he was shivering so badly but he wasn't cold or fevered to the touch. Then after another half hour he was suddenly fine again as if nothing had happened. By this point I'd made an urgent dr's appt for later in the afternoon and we still took him along. Dr checked him out and said he was fine, heart rate slightly elevated but nothing much (it had calmed down a LOT since it had first happened). Dr thinks he had a night terror and when I confirmed he has a history of them nodded and said that will have been what happened. Later on hubby and I were talking and about the similarities and differences from his usual sleep distrubances. We are wondering if maybe he's had a night terror but that has triggered a panic attack afterwards and therefore been the cause of the tachycardia and hyperventilating. Does anyone else have experiences of panic attacks that can tell me if this sounds like it may be the case?

Hi Kez, have you considered applying for DLA? With frequent issues with toiletting needs which is such personal care and so often maybe you'd qualify? Worth a shot, nothing ventured nothing gained after all. I applied for my son during the summer, I was refused initially but after requesting a reconsideration awarded MRC specifically because he has toiletting issue (although to me the toilet problems are a small inconvenience compared to some of his other problems but that was the criteria the assessor used to award it).

Boom-boom!!! Oops that's a fox not a sheep.

I agree with bid, I read your posts and I just see an exceedingly rude, callous and vindictive person. I'm guessing you are tarring all NT people for the actions of a few.

Not knowing for sure if I am AS or NT but I take offense to this post either way. Everyone is individual, even those that follow trends blindly, that don't do anything particularly independently, they still make that choice and I defend their right to do so. Why are you so disparaging of people that just want to get on with their lives in the way they prefer. Oh and I do go about my life half asleep, that's the result of raising a child with serious sleep disturbances. I defend my right to follow the crowd when I feel like it and I defend my right to be different and even weird if I want to.

Oh and Justine don't worry about the typos I'm dreadful for them too, especially if I'm using my phone to post.

Thanks for your input Justine and Sally. No we wouldn't be likely to go for 3 years to allow me to qualify, but husband found out this week a guy at the sister company he works for is going to Sydney and will essentially be doing my husbands exact job for 4 times the salary so we are seriously tempted. It was always something at the back of our mind anyway as we feel Australia is so much more family oriented and has more prospects for the kids futures. Part of me also feels bad contemplating being paid to train as a nurse for 3 years then leaving the country but given the current job sit I guess it's not a big deal.

Hi everyone, I picked up Finn from his special language resource on Wednesday instead of him being minibused home. As I was there I decided to take the opportunity to discuss my ASD concerns with the SALT now that he has been going for a few weeks. She basically said the same thing as the SALT that has seen him previously that she is sure it is only a communication disorder as he wants to communicate but has a lot of difficulty in doing so. Whilst she and the nursery are now in a better position than me to see how his interaction is with other children I respect her input in this area but I am concerned that ASD does not neccessarily mean children do not want to communicate but rather not just the physical act of speaking is valid, being able to communicate effectively, naturally and appropriately is just as important. So to me the speech disorder may be the only communication issue but it may not and I feel to dismiss anything further on account of him wanting to communicate is possibaly innappropriate. My gut instinct tells me there is more than just the speech itself here but ofc I am not an expert, I am just concerned some of the so called "experts" seem to be blinkered to defining his problems solely within the scope of their own specialist remit. They seem to think they can "fix" him with the work they do and until that either works and they take the credit or fails and they blame Finn and then say it must be ASD if we didn't succeed then I don't think they want to consider ASD. Am I reading too much into this? I know when I went for the initial assessment the SALT there said same as my first meeting with her (when she has observed Finn for 5*10 mins) that she too felt it was communication disorder only. This was what prompted the first paediatrician to say not ASD just GDD yet when the review meeting with the more senior paediatrician and psychologist happened they were acknowledging he had difficulties within the triad of impairments and decided on further observation (mainly via the language resource who as I say are anti-asd dx). My husband and I are considering emigrating in the next few years and would like a definative dx before we do so in order to make sure we take Finn's needs into consideration before we take such a drastic step.

It was the paediatrician himself that flagged up the area of his balance during his initial assessment but I think it is just being monitored at the moment to see if it improves and there by shows it may just have been the GDD effecting that area. It is very daunting having to consider his secondary education already when even his primary education is in doubt at the moment. I am not pushing any of the professionals involved too much at the moment as the language unit he recently started have asked their report to the paediatrician be delayed from Nov to Jan to allow him to settle in and assess him properly and I think that is fair enough. Come Jan and the review meeting I will be looking for more answers. I do know from my meeting with the EP that there will be a meeting in the spring that will involve everyone including myself and husband to discuss his primary schooling, for them to make recommendations before we make the final decision. I plan on having as much information as I can by then so I can agree/disagree/challenge any recommendations made.

I have had a few misfortunate times when a person became the focus of my obsessions but I have thankfully grown out of that. For about 10 years ut was F1 and other motorsports. Now it tends to be whatever is happening for I am planning in my life. Buying my house, organising my wedding, getting pregant, being pregnant, getting a job working from home, learning to drive (done in 3 weeks!), getting approval for bariatric surgery, being pregnant again(was a little accident we found out about same day as I got approval for surgery so I was well confused having to rearrange my plans for a whole year almost) losing weight after surgery, getting a professional to take me seriously about my son,getting dla for son, getting accepted as a student midwife (I didn't succeed at that but just refocused to goal being a nurse then a midwife, getting a place as a student nurse, getting son a place at special language resource, getting approval for plastic surgery, getting a 3 bedroomed house. Current obsessions are planning the house move and getting my own dx for AS. Obsessed moi???????

Bid you made a valid point and I thank you for it. As I already said sorry for coming off abrupt earlier and taking out frustrations at family out on you guys. I am currently double guessing my own motives for wanting my son to be good at maths as it has always been one of my talents and I guess I want to share that love of numbers with him. Of course now my head is going around in circles and making me think I am just exaggerating my own social deficencies and issues in other areas so I can pursue a AS dx for myself so I have another thing I can share with him. But then I think about it properly and I do believe I am not exaggerating anything just finally not hiding many of the difficulties I have just got around and dealt with over the years. Can anyone else hear the buzzing in my head? If so please turn the power off cos it's really annoying me!!!