butterfly73

On the Dutch forum I posted this 3 days ago.. we have 4 E's so far.. (& and none of them are partners of.. as far as I know ;-) ) MBTI isn't that known in Holland.. We overall use The Core Quadrant of Ofman a lot though..(qualities, challenges, allergies and pitfalls)

Hi It might be useful to see a sensory information therapist ;-) He/she can see, overall, which senses are dominant and which are overall under of overly stimulated, normal with AS (and ADHD/ADD/...) When there is ADHD, than can be caused by understimulation.. and the body having an active approach by overcompensating and seeking stimuli. But it can be a matter of overstimulating and your kind being highly wired.. Holidays and vacations are terrible for any parent with a child, let alone several children with sensory issues.. Normal routine falls away! :-( Structure and insight (visual mostly) usually gives sóme piece of mind. Back to the SI-therapists: They can help you get a Sensory Adjusting Program: tips and tricks to let the body get the stimuli it needs, and bring rest in overstimulation, by deep pressure or 'heavy work'.. There is also a book/program "How does your engine run", which helps your kid to see how the body functions. very necessary with ADHD. Food and movement is important! Back to basics on that.. Be very aware what is in the food, not too must addetives!! Some kids benefit a lot from salmon, avocado's, etc for omega 3 sours (or capsules). Drinks: not too much sugar (look at the ingredients!!) As for the shouting.. make sure you make contact, touch her, before adressing her.. That will help a lot. Kids can be overly concentrated when playing, reading, watching a program. Just thinking: Is she interested in dancing? That is usually sth very good.. and one needs to rehearse a lot ;-) ánd she would have to remember things for herself, thus doesn't lean on you Interesting book for parents: Carol Stock Kranowitz: the out of sync kids, has fun (games by parents, therapists for kids with simular problems). Making sure the kid gets the stimuli it needs.. A trampoline is usually very useful (gives a tremendous amount of stimuly, useful for over- and understimulation!) or a hammock ;-) Btw, kids don't mind if they can help out.. in the beginning it will take loads of your time, but I gather she's eager.. So help yourself and invest in next year ;-) It's not a bad thing when kids know what to do and have chores, it teaches responsability . Good luck and enjoy! Love, Bfly

fluffy

I feel for both of you, Rbb and Mt.. <'> Hug Bfly

I just got to know this test.. Butterfly is INFP (a healer..) It all fits rather well.. (the images on google are humourus and/or confronting..)

Choose a test.. to get your MBTI.. 1. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp 2. http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/mmdi/questionnaire/ 3. http://similarminds.com/cgi-bin/newmb.pl

Kids... they don't need to have AS for that.. Poor parents though.. My brother, 4yr.. We used to buy good shoes at a client of my fathers admin.office. That man lóves to talk.. eventhough he never notices you've already mentioned you need to go, for you still have to do the grosseries and cook. In the meantime the kids get restless and start nagging and such.. You'd thínk he'd notice that.. At a birthday of my gran'dad's..the client was also there.. Across the room: "hey móm, isn't that the man that gets on you nerves?! Yeah, he is, isn't he!!"

what... do 'we' lie?! lol!! I thought it was rather inate to being s.o. with autisme to throughly dislike lying..

munch..

uhr.. yep...433m (it's usefull to start good, so you can buy props )

I stopped the first game at 25.. than notice that it had been saved so finished it.. Three were very difficult.. I have mentioned it also on the Dutch forum.. (There are some who would love to kick their personal aid for not listening, needing to vent every time sth is up, which is not do-able.. This would be a great wait to vent and laugh about it, instead of getting even more frustrated.. except when your stuck..) D'it..I saw it.. you've posted another game also.. why.. (now checking that..)

hi!

I recently learned a very simple tactic/technic.. to test what to eat! Stand, with your feet at hip width.. When for instance making a sandwich, go past every option, and then feel how your body reacts / shifts.. I noticed: There is/can be a big difference in what your mind wants and what your body wants!! I prefer sandwiches with cheese, grilled or just plain.. Not much into jam, syrup or other sweet stuff.. I liked meat also.. Recently my body choose not to accept meat anymore! Fine by me, for I lóve to cook and I love the challange (which proved to be smaller than expected) Thus ham, sausage etc is out now.. Still left with (sandwich) spreads, peanut butter, cheese, etc.. Last week I tried above mentioned technic.. going over the stuff in the cupboard, i suddenly felt my body shifting/leaning forward.. when I'd mentioned syrup.. I've never ever used syrop on a sandwich, first of all for I'm not much of a sweet tooth.. My body probably needed the iron?! LOL!! How does it work: deep inside the choice hás already been made.. the body knows more than you think/perceive.. When a choice has been made, the body becomes active, anticipates.. thus leans forward.. You can use this in all kinds of choices ;-) When you doubt a reaction.. you could also include a new option: something else..

Right.. If you are not normal, that would also imply being ABnormal.. which I am not ;-) Different, onconventional.. most definitly Humans are overall group-orientated.. Even with autism, I notice a bíg need to comfor in certain kids.. ie. a 3yr old nééded SALT for he himself had noticed his speech wasn't up to par.. Highly motivated..Than at 4, when school started, within a week, he had decided not to come anymore: Just one other kid had SALT, thus wasn't normal and therefor underiserable at that point.. Usually I can get very far with kids, but there is nó way I could convince that kid.. (Lots of parents will nodding, I expect)

The last one I got... was that I have talent (wrote a poem for the first time in my life..) The last one I gave... was at the gym the girl giving instructions, she was still learning and had a faint voice.. She compensated though, thru articulating well and pausing a lot.. The lesson was very well to grasp, so I complimented her on that... (My coordination is lousy.. ) post a compliment given, gotten or both

+1.. THANK YOU.. here here!

It might help to attend autism meetings, like minded people are a lower threshold.. So you can be who you are.. if you feel like just listening, that's fine.. if you try and dare to speak, nobody would mind if you'd stutter, stammer, get caught halve way thru a sentence and not knowing what you were talking about.. I guess that lowers the anxiety loads ;-) You could also find out which members live nearby and try to meet in a smaller group (in Holland we also plan our own meetings.. walks, high tea, even a few days camping.. apart from what the usual organisations have organized.. Than you can decide which date and time is good for you, and also.. if you dare not somehow.. there will be understanding from the other side; Keep the communication open when trying to make such an appointment: so you know what might work against you or the other.. Utter your anxieties, so the other knóws.. I have met up with some other women (mixed groups is a higher threshold somehow), somehow finding myself one of the more talkative ..lol! In groups I usally am really realy silent.. good luck and have fun!

When I read the word "enforce", my heart sank.. (I'm sorry..) As a SALT I work with loads of kids who have different types of sensory issues.. In autism the primairy feeling is fear for they are overwhelmed.. Imagine, so to speak, putting yourself in your kids place: Would you like to attend a family dinner with new inlaws after a overly busy week & all normal daily issues, combined with the stress of not finding the right clothes and being in a traffic jam.. That's kinda stress level is how your kid feels.. Unknown territory, people, food, sound: Every noise, (sudden) movement, person, light, taste, smell can trigger some level of panic.. Be very aware that: Usually kids with autism have a keen sense of what one ought to do, and feel a great need to comply/conform as far as they can.. They would lóve to fit in.. and do there utmost.. (but for you or from within.. that is quite a different intention!!) But it can rebound on them later.. So instead of forcing him, try and get him interested.. gradually, make it a theme! I guess you'd líke him to attend and enjoy himself.. There are just too much things that he can not anticipate.. If you really think about it: You'd like for him to come to you and be interested in such a thing as a restaurant ;-) Thus how can you creatively get him interested in such?! Also you'd need to knwo what calmes him down, does certain music work, or a quiet place, or a deep hug..? It would help if he'd already been in that place, maybe even twice.. once when quiet, and once when busy.. You could ask the owner if he/she'd be interested to show him around (would make him feel highly special indeed, <glow!> Maybe help a cook a little.. Seeing what they make and how, can also decrease anxiety.. Discuss what is interesting and what is bit scary.. and try to work out together what you'd like to tackle.. Give him some responsability (could be a choice between two if an open question makes him close up..) and let him decide what he'd like to tackle.. Good luck and enjoy ;-) Love, Bfly

If you'd like to know all kinds of aspects in sensory input and the way one can perceive things with Aspergers (and the rest of the Spectrum), than the book of Olga Bogdashina gives a wonderfully clear insight on that BTW the list of sensory problems mentioned earlier is called the Sensory Profile. There are 3.. one for infants/toddlers, one for kids, one for adults.

My describtion..AS is a different way of perceiving the world, what means you either notice more or less than most.. With that you are either overly or understimulated.. The world is highly unpredictable.. Thus to learn, you lean heavily on others that you trust. Trust is very important, thus lying is very disruptive.. (even a white lie from a teacher when she says she's doing ok, while she sad about sth.. Thus no trust for the teacher no more!) Flexibility does excist, though only when there is peace and trust! Though life is growth and growth means change! With overstimulation, one can have a freeze/flight/fight response.. The differences amongst AS people has to do with the fact that every one is an individual. With preverences in senses.. But the way you perceive the wordl is also very dependable on: surrouding, upbringing (nature/nurture), experienxe, time of day, thoughts, conditioning,.. Thus the spectrum varies widely! Overstimulation can happen very gradually.. over years.. Whilst working and getting more responsabilities, the stresslevel grow significantly quicker than the ability to deal with the stress.. As the stress has been in the system for years, the individual doesn't even recognize it anymore.. Probably thinks one has a burn-out, because of new responsabilities.. One doesn't get help, for so far everything went fine, and well, know how is sufficient, so.. At that point the elasticity jas been stretched do far, that flexibility seems to lessen even more Can you get any of this so far? Writer that helped me understand myself, no the whole spectrum: Olga Bogdashina ;-)

+1 on what Adam just wrote! Darkshine; Findings so far was a general question about the issue I just went into. I wasn't referring to sth in particular (as in sth mentioned earlier). If you notice you'd need or like to change things about yourself, it might be useful to write such down for yourself, can you name certain things? Than, a tactic I learned to use recently.. Go over the list and choose óne subject you'd like to work on. How to make your choice easier?! Stand on the floor, feet at hip-width.. go over the options slowly and listen to your body.. do you feel subtle changes in the way you stand?! It might help to close your eyes and just follow your body motion.. PM me for more info on this ;-) --now is a bit too soon to tell the rest, I need to know if this functions for you-- I will post that later anyhow Love Bfly!

I find, that I have difficulty fathoming how I feel.. ín the moment. I need distance, in time or space to get some oversight. So with that I usually don't react very primairy, but secondary! At times I come back on a conversation, to admit that certain things didn't mix for me..

chocolats

call

Tally has great idea's .. I find that other people with AS are more open.. Eventhough we're all different for the Spectrum is broad, but we all know what it's like not to feel accepted.. That makes the thresh hold a lot lower ;-)