butterfly73

bye!

right

Hi Shelby, first of all welcome ground rules: Be your own best friend (as in be nice to yourself.. sounds easier than it is, most are nicer to other than to oneself!!) Don't try too hard and always be yourself! There is no use in becoming friends because you pretend to be different.. You want real friends right.. BTW: Did you check wikihow?! Useful tips and topics there: * how to cope having no friends * how to make friends * how to be kind * how to be a good friend * how to become sociable * how to maintain a friendship * how to recognize a true friend etc etc..

enter (RB: as in banana split, thus ice cream ;-) )

yw! Though in loads (LOADS!) of movies.. when they say someone is from The Netherlands.. somehow he or she always speaks German.. still.... Hmmm As for obsessions/ interests/specific focus common in AS.. is there a specific word for that in English?! I'm rather into vocab, usually get really annoyed if I can't figure out abbrev. and such hahaha

ice cream

ugly..

Bingo.. also described as "that faint voice in the back of your head" or "I had an incling/hunch/feeling/..etc" thus not justifiable by reason, but you dó know.. In my eyes it has to do with the fact "we" are more sensitive to reading into stimuly others don't perceive as relevant, thus dismiss.. My best friend always knows a collegue is pregnant before anyone has told, without the morning visits to the toilet She really picks up on it somehow! I've been reading up on it.. and there are even several types of instinct/intuition, fitting with the senses.. (and no, I'm not talking paranormal stuff! though some people with AS might be even more susceptible to that..)

sprouts

Indeed, on the West side, near the sea you have two provinces Noord-Holland and Zuid-Holland (north and south, no not the series.. ) I actually live more in the middle of the country.. on the edge of "the Veluwe" (copy/paste wiki: The Veluwe is a forest-rich ridge of hills (1100 km²) in the province of Gelderland in the Netherlands. The Veluwe features many different landscapes including woodland, heath, some small lakes and Europe's largest sand drifts.) I used to live in Noord-Holland, near Alkmaar.. but near the sea.. also lovely landscapes there, besides the bulb fields

It is and using it also

For those who are parents will know..**people with SI tend to have a very strong will.. ** that works either for us (highly skilled than, working with loads of interest, focus, dedication, loyalty, etc), or against us (very very stubborn, not open at all, etc etc) .. It's difficult to get to the point that it works fór you.. it means being motivated and have your head, heart and will all wanting the same thing.. I usually try to challange 'my kids' so they get interested in what I and the parent are doing, otherwise it'll never work! (Hence some grown people wih AS now suffering from certain issues for having been pushed earlier in life ) First of all, a great tip I got.. no matter how negative you might feel.. address the issue in a positive way/thought/sentence! That'll help you to address your willpower What's the difference?! Well.. thát is the difference!! Elementary (my dr Watson, oh sorry ) It's really very basic actually, but takes some getting used to.. there are helpful items on the internet for that *try Byron Kathy for instance Mind you.. I'm not saying 'halleluyah this is it..' for it is hárd work! Day in, day out.. and for structure isn't my forté.. I manage 2 weeks at best, than relapse.. thus need to coach myself back on track, once again.. in the gentelest fashion.. Yep.. at least for me, I need to be loads nicer to myself, learn to put myself first instead of last (before compromising, which I do.. always.. thus still me last actually I need to push myself in a gentle fashion.. Actually learning to be my own best friend and also treat myself (as such) I'm very curious about your findings so far! Love Bfly

I don't see expression concern as moaning... wow, quite a difficult situation you are in! Are there other area's that aren't functioning for him.. that might give you a lead, maybe My partner hasn't been diagnosed either, not as an aspie at least.. that made it easier for me to address him on that topic.. I asked him if he saw himself as NT.. he responded not so much.. Maybe it'll help to read up on stuff like sensory input problems that undermines the functioning.. (Olga Bogdashina has a wonderful book on that! ) Than you might address certain characteristics.. and ask him if there are things that he might struggle with.. I'm Dutch.. so I don't know the English process.. But first you need to tackle your friend, secondly for a diagnosis one needs the GP's approval as far as I know! Loads of love and strength to you! Good luck, Bfly

LOL.. where is the 'I like'-button

Uhm, a question.. where can I find what all those mountains are about?! besides that, I find it confusing to see names of mountains just above a certain picture.. Thus I've referred to Fledermaus as Salisbury Hill in an e-mail to mods and I easily see myself adress Darkshine as Kilimanjaro.. Is that just me, or... Thanx for your response!

fart (hihihi)

that is indeed wonderful news! congrats

high

ocean

Thanx Tally! Oh.. now worries, I know plenty about that in Holland, due to my work as a SALT ;-)

Well... I should be a specialist, as for my profession.. though I'd like to add that, imho, loads of what professionals are taught doesn't quite mix with what I've learned so far from my own perception and that of other grown people with AS: * I'm supposed to teach eye contact for it's a basic in communication.. * I'm supposed to encourage interaction with several kids.. * I'm supposed to encourage a kid to speak.. I don't do that, well: not in the sense that I was taught I try and let the kid feel at ease, I make room for answers, but don't expect anything.. I explain why eye contact is seen as functional in interaction My main goals are: trust and respect.. with that, overall a more normal (and less impacting in retrospect!) development will come! In my eyes, there should be more attention for the sensory differences: In one school one of my kids is seen as an HSP.. they perceive him as a miracle!! In another a kid with simular sensitivities has the diagnosis AS.. he's seen a burden in the class If only teachers would just lóók instead of interpret.. (sorry this always gets me all riled up, and I'm not even a parent, yet..!) Do you see the difference?! I totally agree with Covey: "the approach of the 'problem' ís the problem!"

I did hear of Covey though.. writer of "7 habits of highly effective people" quite easy to read and helpful in every aspect of life, not just management..

I've only gone thru the last 2 also.. *bargaining with my shrink to get tested.. for I needed to know (first one diagnosed in the family and my brother having even more signs and troubles, but no will to get tested.. if I have it, hé definitly has!) *acceptance.. it was a relief, I finally got myself in some quirky mannerism I had a great psychiatrist as for the diagnosis, she saw eye to eye on my views on the whole matter (as for sensory problems, the stress accumulating, diff levels of stress, some fitting the DSM IV criteria with AS, more problems than possible borderline/mcdd/schizophrenic/etc - which explains the mis-diagnosis or overlooked diagnosis of the underlying problem...)

lol...uhm, when did I join again? hmmm