Mannify

and 164. I like that one better.

You're smiling on 247 of 280

Hey, don't apologise! These made me smile, they're fab . Maybe being a cowboy is your natural vocation.

Thanks, Lancslad. It really helps when people help to break things down like this, because to be honest, I haven't spent much time working things out about my reactions to things, I've just got on with coping with my own realities without thinking very much. I suppose that's what a lot of people do a lot of the time. But as you say, it's not an approach which lends itself to change. If you don't think about stuff you don't change stuff. Can you explain more about the 'reflex holding space'? How does that work in practice?

Heck, Lancslad, that's a concise bit of insight. It actually makes sense, because on reflection I think I am probably more likely to experience this when there's extra underlying causes of stress. Thank you, I will think about this.

I see your point, Lancslad about viewing things positively or negatively depending to some extent on choice. But I do feel that I personally experience some emotions which I would identify as positive in a kind of painful way. I mean, I do also experience positive emotions positively, too. It's just that sometimes, occasionally, I feel sort of flattened or overwhelmed by what I'm fairly sure to be a positive emotion, and I wondered if anyone else ever felt this. Being overwhlmed by the beauty of something has very occasionally had this effect. Usually it doesn't, but occasionally it does. Pleased-ness over a module result has had this effect, too. Like I say, it's an occasional thing, but a bit confusing.

This goes in off-topic, because I'm not sure that it's necessarily an ASD thing - maybe everyone experiences this, or maybe I'm the only one on the planet. But anyway, here's the question: does anyone else find that positive emotions, strongly enough felt, can be almost as uncomfortable as negative emotions in certain circumstances? I have several examples, but one is when I received a particularly significant module result for my degree back in August, and I know people experience tears of joy, but when I got that result anyone observing would have thought I was really crying with grief. On other occasions positive emotions have sort of immobilised me. Does anyone else find positive emotions kind of uncomfortable to manage sometimes?

Thanks for sharing that. Winter can be so hard going, but you are right that it also affords such spectacles that are not available at other times of the year. Yesterday was nothing special by way of fairly usual experiences of winter, but I found immense pleasure taking the dog for a walk in the bright winter sun and crunching through the vast ice-glazed puddles which spanned the field. It's an experience most people have of winter, and not particularly transcendent by many people's estimations, but I loved it, and it never fails to bring me pleasure

Some parts of the country have had snow (not us). Have you been able to fulfil your first snow tradition yet?

I personally came on this forum as someone who doesn't have AS, and I thought it would mainly be parents talking about ed stuff, so when I realised, almost immediately, that it was a mix of both parents of children with ASDs and adults on the spectrum, I was struck by what a powerful source of insight (not information, insight ) this forum could be. To be truly honest, I was quite giddily happy to be in contact with such a broad range of people, united as they are on this forum. I continue to value the insights of the contributors here. In a way, it's neither here nor there that the psychologist who headed my son's diagnostic team said that in her opinion I have AS (I had begum to wonder for literally a fortnight before that), because I'm still not sure exactly what bearing that has on my life. On reflection, it's very clear that I have traits (no idea how I didn't spot it), but I'm still unsure how diagnose-able they can be. I don't know, but I do relate to a lot on this forum, I really do. What was significant about my long discussion with the psychologist, however, is that I really respected her not on account of her almost complete doctorate in Autism, but because her sister has AS, and she herself identifies traits within herself. When she spoke to me she understood, really understood, what I was talking about. I wouldn't disregard the knowledge of professionals who are not on the spectrum, but clearly individuals and professionals who are on the spectrum are such a valuable resource for us all, parents included, that it's a resource that should not be ignored. With regard to my experience here on the forum, parents and diagnosed and undiagnosed adults have all contributed valuably, and I suppose I tend not to see this forum as a fetid pool of ill-will, but as I said before, as a valuable source of insight. Nothing's perfect, though, and it can be hard for us all to resist the inclination to categorise and dismiss, I guess. But if anyone thinks that their contributions on here are un-valued, I can confirm that they are not and that they do help.

Where I am discussion of family history and contingent offer of referral should AS seem to be present occurs as a post-diagnosis process, along with offer of a place on an ASD-specific parenting course. It seems, though, that that is not the case everywhere, which is why I feel frustrated on behalf of others who are in localities where it seems much harder to get a listening ear. I'm a parent, Lancslad, and from my very first day posting on this forum my life and my understanding of the people I love (both children and adults) who are on the spectrum has been enriched by the many insightful comments on here. I can immediately think of a specific example where the comments of adults on here made me stick to my guns against the advice of a teacher (it was about shoes - nothing earth-shattering - but I felt the advice given was worthy and it helped). I don't necessarily post on every thread, but I read and I learn, and it helps. Surely everyone has a lot to gain from approaching this forum open-mindedly? Since each presentation of ASD is totally unique, and each situation in which a person's life is affected by it is different, whether diagnosed or not, we surely have a lot to gain from each other. So I'll reiterate, as a parent, since that is the subject of the OP, I have gained a lot from the insights of both adults on the spectrum and other parents. I mean, I really feel that I owe a lot to regular posters on here, whatever their situation, who take the time to share and support - it's added to our lives (mine and my family's) in ways that aren't readily measured.

Robert and Raydon, those are lovely thoughts. I do value the feature, but I did just wonder if I was missing something there. Tbh, I value those 'badges' or whatever they are, more than the multitude of 'friends' on facebook who have added me on a whim because they have some vague recollection of me from school, or have done an OU course with me and nostalgia for the module has made them 'friend' a load of people in an attempt to take a 'snapshot' of a period of their lives which is now moving on. But on here, offer of those badges are the result of meaningful discussion and sharing which genuinely enrich. On that level, then, they are worth far more than the technical advantages offered by 'friending' on Facebook.

I did . Looks great

Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't a deep philosophical debate. I have, on my profile page, several 'badges' of friendship. To those of you who have both offered and accepted these 'badges' of friendship, I am grateful, I really am, because it's nice. But beyond being a kind of 'this person seems nice' badge, I can't see any actual technical advantage that these friendship badges offer (not that friendship should be about technical advantage, lol). Am I missing something? Are they really just 'hey, you say decent stuff' badges? I mean, if they are, that's ok - they're nice. I just wonder, that's all.

Perfect resume, I would say

I suppose it depends, to some extent on how well-informed the person is. For example, my sister is a medical student and she hurt her ankle. She was able to self-diagnose her injury accurately based on the knowledge that she most certainly already has. She is not qualified to make such a diagnosis per se, but there is no reason to doubt her conviction, because she has an in depth knowledge of the presentations of her injury, having only recently studied that area of anatomy in her medical degree. Many parents read vast quantities of information regarding ASDs in relation to their children, and have an intimate knowledge of how these present in their children, and where there is a genetic inheritance of certain traits. For some of these, geographical location may ever bar them from diagnosis; but I personally would accept the opinion of a parent who concluded that they, too, have AS, because their intimate day-to-day acquaintance with AS may well put them at an advantage over professionals whose overview is broader but shallower. If the pattern is so strong and compelling that it's impossible to ignore, then what makes it any less AS than diagnosed AS?

It's tough that you are at a geographical disadvantage, Lyndalou. In our locality we seem to be served by some professionals who have a strong interest in ASDs - and that extends to diagnosing women, in particular, as a group who are often overlooked. Also, the extent of the waiting list for the SCD panel meant that my son's diagnosis took about three years, but it would seem to be a matter of months in the case of adults. I don't say this to make you feel worse about your situation, it's just that I can see that it must be very frustrating .

This will ever remind me of a lovely weekend spent with my sister

ubiquitous

immortal

stalwart

garden

Thanks, Raydon I was just tired and fragile, that's all. Yeah, years ago. Similar to ear phones, can't stand 'em. I'm just a grumpy cow.

And maybe to myself for being so ridiculous. And maybe, too, being tired and stressed in the night makes me more apologetic than usual by default, and maybe that doesn't even need a specific audience. Something like that, anyway.