Mihaela

De Profundis Sink, sink, sink into your hell, Fall. fall, fall into your well, That deep well of loneliness, Yet there, elusive Truth lies waiting, Waiting, waiting, waiting... For Time to release her, When she will rise unadorned, Holding aloft her mirror; Reflecting stark and dazzling reality Upon a world that lost its way Long, long ago.

When I saw 'spout' having not then seen the earlier 'spider' I immediately thought of the famous Incey Wincey! Great minds! Wales (the leEk being its national symbol) ...or Knot (symbol of Staffordshire, where the town of LeEk can be found) ...or Grid (a grid-leak being the high resistance found in the control grid circuit of a thermionic valve) - Take your pick! (Yes, I'm a mine of useless information - well known for it!)

Conan Doyle is another strong Aspie candidate. I've not read or even heard of that title, but it doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd read late at night I'm reading British Dragons, by Jacqueline Sampson. I find folklore one of the most relaxing subjects to read about, and suits my current limited concentration span. If I dare get involved in one of my polymathic interests (as opposed to my special and general interests) it would tend to take me over for some days at a time. Due to all the trouble in my life at the moment, I'm too unsettled to afford that luxury.

Very true, but at least Albanian is a distant member of our own Indo-European group. There are Swedes and Russians who learn Finnish (although it's a totally unrelated language), and there's a cluster of related Uralic languages in Northern Russia - Votic, Veps, Livonian and Karelian which are still widely spoken and many of these people also know Finnish or Estonian. The Saami probably use Finnish too. Hungarian is an outlier of this same Uralic group, and there are about 40 other Uralic languages spread across Russia and Siberia. Some have long been the officially recognised languages of their respective autonomous regions, such as Mari, Komi and Udmurt (where there are more red-haired people than anywhere else on earth!). They all have their own distinctive thriving cultures, their own flags, anthems, costumes, folk and pop music, etc. and use slight variants of the Cyrillic alphabet.

I disagree. Experience tells me that most bullies are assertive people with a high level of confidence and self esteem. If you re-read Sally's post you'll see she's not saying at all - as she repeats in her next post. Bullies certainly do home in on those who show a lack of confidence - which inevitably includes Aspies. But they also exploit these people to serve their own ends, and may even protect their victims against other bullies. This gives them control over their victims who become caught as pawns in a vicious circle. The dynamics of bullying can be very complex. This is because the Jehovah's Witnesses are an American religion. A former JW who converted to Islam (and has been disfellowshipped by her own parents) told me that the United States was the only country with the right political, economic, and social climate during the 19th century that would allow a religion like the JW to flourish. Even today it is a very American centric religion where much of what the JW writes about is biased towards the US and American people. Don't I know it! American culture and their tendency to create neo-Christian sects has long interested me. Their reasoning skills seem to be very weak and shallow - as does their level of 'spirituality'. Of course, by definition religion puts faith before reason, but the particular mix of the American psyche (especially their fixation with materialism) and politically right-wing beliefs really makes these sects have a very different flavour to those not originating in the USA. You're absolutely right when you link political, economic and social factors to the success of these sects - which all began with self-identified prophets with an eye for making profits (of the commercial type!). All religions attract their own distinct personality types; those who don't psychologically feel at home in them (and may dare to question certain dogmas) either leave or are 'disfellowshipped'. We tend not to realise that there's a very close correlation between religions and personality types. American culture is loosely based on 18th century British culture which is why it is so big bold and loud. Almost the opposite culture from the disciplined Victorian England. I never saw it in this way, but you could very well be right. I wonder if the peculiarly American love affair with guns, violence and extreme punishments reflects this too? I know several Americans who don't behave like this, and they feel very frustrated living in country where so many do.

After being told on Monday by my CAB adviser that Creative Support had lost the referral, but now had it, and would be contacting me soon, I rang them today - having heard nothing more. Yet again they said they'd never received anything or heard of me, so they said they'd ring the CAB again. This is becoming farcical! I'm tired and frustrated with all this waiting.

After initially supporting the Nazi party Niemöller eventually became a pacifist. He was imprisoned in Dachau and lucky to escape execution. I always bear his prescient words in mind when reading about the Anglo-American world's insidious creep towards totalitarianism. The evidence for this trend can be found all around us.

Brilliant poem, Laddo! All NT's should read it. You should send it to Asperger United. I've been neglecting this thread due to lack of time, but I've not forgotten it and I'll be coming back to it.

Oh, the joys of fame! It's quite common to have far more non-contributing members on non-Aspie related forums. I used to cull them every so often. As for loneliness, I have so very many interests nagging at me, that I've no time for feeling lonely! But I do understand you for at one time I'd suffer from loneliness and homesickness, and it's not nice at all. I hope you're feeling better today.

I find that profile very appealing. It's modest, sounds honest and no red warning signs hidden away! I can't understand why it's being ignored. Maybe the site lacks visitors. I enjoy the freedom of being single. Maybe I'm selfish! But I do like someone to hold occasionally (gender immaterial) and have a few friends who I feel comfortable over receiving/giving hugs.

Not sure I agree with bullying being a male thing. Men are getting such a bad press these days and decent men are often ignored as they are blanketed as being inherently bad by the media. You misunderstood me. Maybe I wasn't making things clear enough. Bullying is not a male thing at all, but is associated with various traits that society sees as being masculine rather than feminine - and encourages in the rearing of boys. Just in case you feel I'm not aware of the bad press men receive, I'm a great supporter father's rights and of Angry Harry's website and have made comments on there expressing my strong feelings over the raw deal suffered by men in the name of flawed 'feminist' ideology. (Not my idea of feminism at all). Notice how men are often suggested to 'get in touch with their feminine side' and romantic fiction often focuses on men having to 'change their ways' for a woman's sake. The whole thing smacks of the notion that women are 'better' than men when really we are just different. A very NT notion, I might add. It feels like apologist culture to me, where an entire group of people is made to feel guilty for the historical actions of people within their group. Men should never change their ways for women's sake, but we should all strive to change our ways for humanity's sake. I think maybe, it boils down to a matter of semantics and a modern tendency for 'matronising' language. In a sense men do have 'feminine sides' - the 'anima' of Jung, just as women have the animus. There's nothing wrong (and everything right) when any of us (male or female) nurture our positive life-enhancing traits (what Fromm called 'biophilic' traits), and reject those traits that are harmful and anti-life (Fromm's 'necrophilic' traits - which I prefer to call 'biophobic'). Unfortunately, NT society itself tends to identify biophilic traits with femininity, and biophobic traits with masculinity. Society reflects our archetypal tendency towards dualistic black-and-white thinking and loves to generalise, but reality is never that simple. This way of thinking has been caused by the way society encourages sex roles when bringing up children. There happen to be two rather than one or three sexes - ideal material for our dualist ways of thinking. Society links those sex roles to particular traits which are labelled more or less, rightly or wrongly, masculine or feminine. Some of these traits quite rightly have unavoidable moral dimensions. Same goes for portrayal of men - recently the Disney film Frozen got bad press because of its unrealistic depiction of women for the main character being stereotypically pretty but the main male character was also an unrealistic depiction of men - muscular, handsome and generally a bit of a tool. However, this depiction of the man was totally ignored. To me, this is very dangerous towards either sex as one being portrayed as 'better' than the other always causes problems. I agree, so much of this happens at a subconscious level. We are so heavily influenced by the society in which we live, and don't see the glaringly obvious, let alone question it. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses in their idealised, naive drawings of Adam and Eve fall prey to these silly stereotypes: a handsomely, tall, rugged Adam with his neatly trimmed beard and short hair and a 'glamorous' Eve whose long styled hair looks as if she's just come out of the neighborhood beauty parlor (sic)! And of course they're both thoroughly Caucasian-looking, and their hair length conforms to 'accepted' gender . They conform to the stereotypical all-American man and woman. Hilarious but so ignorant! The way women tend to bully people is usually different from how men tend to bully people. (Having been a regular victim of both types, I became to notice the differences.) Men tend to be quite blunt in their bullying, while female bullying seems to be done in a very 'female' way - unravelling the victim's self esteem slowly but surely, excluding their victims in the workplace and subtly making them feel like they don't belong as part of a social group. I too have experienced both. I tend to prefer 'male-type' verbal bullying than the more insidious 'female-type'. My female Aspie 'friend' of mine (with the 'other issues') has mainly male-type Aspie traits. She's a bully and openly proud of it, but very bad at it (at least with me), and her bullying is very much of the male type. One of the most unusual people I've ever known. She was trying to bully me yesterday, and although she uses the voice and words of a classic male bully, her expression always shows a trace of a smile - possibly due to having AS - as if she's acting out a role and trying to suppress her true feelings. I like her and care for her, despite her many seriously bad personality issues! Male victims of female bullying are also almost entirely ignored because there is still the assumption (from both other men and women) that men should take it on the chin - there's a good reason why the phrase 'man up' exists. True, and I really hate this. The British stiff-upper-lip nonsense and the public school tradition have a lot to answer for, and so do traditional religious attitudes towards the sexes.

Waterboatman said: Education is a life long experience, and in my opinion really starts once one has left school. The main purpose of the long years in schooling, is roughly child minding with a bit of education thrown in. Yes! I would have learned far more out of school than I did at school. I'm virtually self taught (thanks to my parents encouraging my curiosity) and this process has continued unabated ever since. School got in the way, severely held me back, damaged me and did me no good at all. Laddo: I agree with everything you said.

Not all NTs as individuals are bad. I've met many good ones so far and I'm sure I will meet many more, plus I do identify with some NT ways of thinking. Of course they're not! And even most of the 'bad' ones are well-meaning; they are just ignorant. And, yes, so have I, and so do I. I'd even say that most Aspies identify with some NT ways of thinking; not unusual at all. However, this doesn't mean that we don't satisfy enough of the AS diagnostic criteria. This especially applies to Aspies with predominantly 'female-type' traits, who until recently have been overlooked, for they can be quite subtle, and we're likely to appear superficially 'normal'. This is one reason why I'm so confused about my diagnosis - it's like I'm half aspie, half NT. I'm a hybrid, a mutant. I haven't really heard of that happening before. By definition, all Aspies will be at least partly NT. If you read up on 'female-type' traits as much as I've done - you won't be confused. I'm certainly not. But mainstream society, a neurotypical product, is very broken. However, quite a few NTs, especially in my generation, are questioning the inequality bestowed on them. This is why I believe there will be change soon - tensions are running high in young people and that will hopefully be passed on to the new generation. I hope you're right, for a glance at history proves that any reaction against radical change is always very strong and sometimes violent. The forces of power and wealth have a very loud voice and stop at nothing to protect their interests. Any form of ethical behaviour is alien to them. I mix with many young NTs, and I enjoy discussing serious issues with them. Some of my most interesting conversations can be with 11-16 year olds, and yes, they give me hope. However, they would have equally done so decades ago, but something gradually goes sour when they make the transition into adult life. New circumstances and adult responsibilities make them comply with society's pressures to conform with the status quo. Their idealism fades away into their pasts along with their youth. I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I'm trying to be realistic. Of course, positive, life-affirming changes do take place in society, but they tend to be small and happen very slowly. The areas most stubbornly resistant to change are those closest to the hearts of the ruling elites, and relate to the very ways in which society is run and controlled, and are the ultimate cause of all that is wrong, rotten and life-negating in society. Governments eulogise economic 'progress' above all else - and at the expense of our humanity and the natural order. The only true progress is that which works towards achieving a truly civilised society. We still have a long way to go.

GOLDEN- I really mean this

In truth, those who are electable and have connections gain power. True - and thanks only to electors who are effectively unsuited to elect, due to lack of competence - having been manipulated into believing that the modern so-called 'democratic' system is democratic, fair, right and civilised. It isn't. If you want a better world, start with schooling, get it right and things improve, get it wrong and things get worse. Very true, except that I'd say start with education, rather than schooling. The two are radically different - world's apart. We have too much schooling and precious little education. This has always been a deliberate ploy changes with political or religious fashions. Knowledge is power, and the truth will set us free. No hierarchy is prepared to share its secrets for fear of losing power, and truth becomes something to be jealously guarded. Schooling has more in common with indoctrination, institutionalisation and control - while knowledge and truth are carefully rationed and only come second place. Children need to be encouraged to love learning simply for learning's sake, starting by identifying their interests and talents and working from there. One thing I like about private school's - they're not shackled to a National Curriculum, and by the way, grammar schools and the 11-plus still exist in some parts of England. Schools are too big, impersonal, and uncaring. With small schools where the 'head' knows every pupil, there is a chance. Now my age and experience colour my opinion, and I know will offend some of you, that can not be helped. I am not political correct, that nonsense is a symptom of the countries malaise. You don't offend me. I agree completely ...and, yes, the bigger the school, the worse things become.

Totally agree. Short of a revolution in consciousness I can see no other solution. As long as we blindly follow the equally-blind crowd we'll only get deeper into the mire. I feel that certain Aspies, due to our more finely-tuned way of seeing reality, are far prone to 'existential depression' than most. We see things as they really are and can't comprehend how the NT world can't see what is so blindingly obvious to us. Every so often we suffer from world-weariness (what the Germans call Weltschmerz) For many years, I've tried in my very small way to change things for the better, but we have a world dominated by toxic ideologies. It's no easy task, but I never give up. This also makes me identify very strongly with Sehnsucht (another German word), a deep longing, but with no adequate English translation. Known in Romanian as dor, a whole genre of music is devoted to this ardent yearning (known in Bulgaria and the Balkans generally as sevdah, and the music as sevdalinka). The Portuguese also have a word for it: saudade. "Sehnsucht represents thoughts and feelings about all facets of life that are unfinished or imperfect, paired with a yearning for ideal alternative experiences. It has been referred to as “life’s longings”; or an individual’s search for happiness while coping with the reality of unattainable wishes. Such feelings are usually profound, and tend to be accompanied by both positive and negative feelings..Psychologists have worked to capture the essence of Sehnsucht by identifying its six core characteristics: “(a) utopian conceptions of ideal development; ( sense of incompleteness and imperfection of life; © conjoint time focus on the past, present, and future; (d) ambivalent (bittersweet) emotions; (e) reflection and evaluation of one's life; and (f) symbolic richness". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sehnsucht. This feeling may well be very much confined to Aspies and introspective types here, but in some countries it's an inextricable aspect of their mass culture. By the way, I've written at some length on this, for it plays an enormous part in my life - even as a small child.

Laddo said: For me crushes have always been more about just wanting to be in close proximity with whoever I have a crush on. ...I did think that my first crush was true love though, but since then I have been in love and it was... powerful. Dangerously powerful in fact, to the point where I pretty much become a slave to whoever I love's will. For me, it's always been powerful, and being in close proximity has been the overpowering main feeling, although at times I've unwittingly found myself becoming a slave. When that happens I instinctively back away before I get burnt. It really is soul-destroying that so few people appreciate romance these days. I suppose I identify most with the platonic chivalric ideal. I find unrequited, lost or unrealistic love fascinating and romantic in a strange kind of way, and I'm attracted to art, poetry, prose and songs on this eternal theme. Regarding having no physical need but feeling as if you do in your mind, this seems to be very common among aspie women. I wonder why this could be? You may well be right, but as to the reason why I'm just as mystified as you are. I've always been emotionally/romantically attracted to females or 'feminine' males (generally much younger in years than myself), aesthetically attracted to young females (not relevant to social relations) and sexually attracted to nobody. Exodus said: I find it impossible to speak with practically anybody. I did long ago, but very slowly I learnt by copying. The second is that I want somebody who is more like me than anything. So did I, long ago. Now I need nobody, but I do find that many people seem to need me. Last night I was at a friend's, a young woman I've known for some years. I always say I can't stay long, so she makes me meals and tries all kinds of tricks to keep me there longer. She's very lonely, and part of me feels I should spend Christmas with her. It hurts to think she'll be there pulling a cracker with herself, wearing the hat and playing with her cats. The difference is that I enjoy my Christmases alone (with my cats!) out of choice. I still go through the rituals, but as part of my rigid Aspie routine thing. Modern society is cruel and selfish when it comes to lonely people. The sense of community in England seems not to apply to the indigenous English people any more. True community spirit here seems increasingly confined to Jews, Muslims, Roma, European immigrants, etc. - and the past. Old people are shoved away from their families into homes - only too often "out of sight; out of mind". It's not something I want to give up on, but it's something that I can't really work on because I have no idea how to. Nor, me. It just happens. It think it helps by not trying too hard. Waterboatman said: My big regret, is that being what I am, I could not see until it was too late, that it was no longer unrequited, its hard that one. This would happen to me too, long ago. Bittersweet memories. At that time I never understood why. Now that I do, I'm no longer harsh upon myself. I did my best. I made the wrong assumptions and so did others.

Not sure what you mean by Scandinavians not embracing English. 'In true Aspie pedantic style', that's only part of what I said. I said they were less likely to do so, in the way they do in certain other European countries. By the way I've known an Aspie Swede living near Stockholm for the past six years - who happens to speak very good English. I can't help wondering whether this says something about the Italian mindset, perhaps northern Italian in particular. They have this kind of can-do mentality which stems from realising that since you cannot rely on institutions or Rome-based politicians, you have to look out for yourself and help the people you know. This is probably the main cause of what I was saying earlier. Sweden has become a virtual slave to its highly-organised welfare state, even more so than Britain. The idea of a welfare state is ambivalent; it can be a double-edged sword. In places where the state has less control over the day-to-day lives of the people, the sense of community spirit (the big loser in any any welfare state) is much stronger. A society's over-dependence on the welfare state can become unconsciously pathological (a virtual addiction), and a well-meaning welfare state's control over it's people can take on a totalitarian fascistic quality - if we're not careful. This is happening in both Sweden and Britain. Not that I'm anti the welfare state For many reasons, I'm opposed to the notion of the state itself and the flawed ideologies that underpin them. I support the spirit behind the idea of the welfare state.

Not only children with low confidence or self-esteem, but also children who are sensitive or 'different' in any way. I'd even say that it's the sensitivity/difference that so often tends to create the former. Shyness, low self-esteem are not innate and pervasive, but hypersensitivity is very likely to be, especially when combined with autism. The modern way of "reporting bullies" does not appear to work. Agreed. It's a joke, a scandal. Like so many 'guidelines', 'policies' and 'laws' they may look good on paper, but in practice they are used selectively, 'creatively' and in highly discriminatory ways - according to the 'procedures' and 'culture' of the organisation involved. (I should know, for I've been a victim of this corporate scam, and a whistleblower several times over). The people are being hoodwinked on a massive scale - as always, and often with the collusion of the mass media. Over the years, deception and plausible denial have been honed and raised into veritable art forms in the NT world. Animals can be forgiven for bullying (although I wouldn't apply that word to animals), but most humans have no excuse, for they can reason and empathise. They know when they're doing wrong, causing harm, etc. yet persist against their consciences. (Of course, full-blown psychopaths totally lack consciences). No, we don't learn from history, and I believe this is very much due to our deeply-ingrained tendency to bring up boys in the way we do. Mothers, influenced by the dubious mores of a dysfunctional society, bear most of the responsibility for allowing and encouraging this. So ironic, for motherhood embodies the essence of selflessness, nurturing and love. We encourage negative traits and then complain about crime violence and war, wondering why 95% of prisoners are male, and why virtually all wars are caused by disagreements between men who have bullied and lied their way up to the top of the social ladder. (Margaret Thatcher may have physically been a woman, but that's academic for psychologically she was a classic alpha male!) Women and girls who bully are simply identifying with those negative traits associated with so many 'successful' men. Again, I blame NT society for this.

My opinion of academic qualifications: they are a relatively-modern invention of the NT world designed for the career market, rather than the love of learning for its own sake (the Renaissance - and polymathic - worldview). Being by definition, narrow and artificial, they've never appealed to my polymathic tendencies. Careers are important in themselves simply for providing us with 'bread and butter'. 'Economic activity' has become the god of modern societies and states, a universal panacea. Vocations are far more profound than academic qualifications, for they come from the heart: they are impassioned 'callings', not in the least motivated by material 'success'. The highly materialistic NT world requires some of us to have 'good careers' equating this with 'success', while the rest are expected to have mediocre or menial 'jobs' - to support those of 'higher' social status. These people are deemed less successful or even unsuccessful, but nevertheless are crucially necessary to enable the success of the successful. An artist may work with a fiery passion, but isn't considered a 'success' unless she/he becomes famous which can only happen when his/her work makes money. This system barely recognises vocational drive unless it happens to relate to academic qualifications, paid work and this specious notion of 'success'. Social skills are so different. They are the natural and essential abilities of any social animal necessary for living harmoniously. Humans are very complex social animals, and so these skills are also complex. We Aspies are constantly being led to assume that it's us who have the social difficulties, yet in reality many accepted aspects of NT society itself are socially dysfunctional. If a highly logical alien race landed on earth they'd see the collective personality of Aspies as being far more balanced and far less sociopathic, deluded, paranoid and hysteria-prone than that of the NT world. This is how we should be looking at the big picture, rather than merely from our own restricted points of view.

As someone still seeking a (very) late diagnosis, I can see this from both sides. An early diagnosis (in childhood) if not sensitively treated by others, such as teachers, peers, etc. could easily result in what amounts to discrimination. However, if that diagnosis is missed, such as in my case - for AS was unrecognised in those times - we still suffer discrimination and exploitation, not because they know we have AS, but simply because we are 'different' to them in ways they notice but can't, and wouldn't want to, understand. In other words we are vulnerable to discrimination and exploitation whether or not we have had a diagnosis. Any blame must always fall on our persecutors in the NT world, or rather with the NT mindset itself. I've suffered quite unbelievable discrimination and vilification throughout my life, beginning with teachers and children and leading on to my short period in paid work (I was a whistleblower), and onto the actions of various state agencies and individuals. My only shield against this onslaught of heartless stupidity - and that's an accurate description - was my very personality itself, as well as the support of my parents. I had no idea that I had AS, but I knew I was very different; I thought very differently to them; I used my intelligence very differently; I felt very differently - I cared so much more about suffering and injustice; I had very strong principles; I was far more sensitive (in many ways) and I 'lived in my own world' often despising what I used to call the 'adult world' for the way it behaves, not only towards me but towards its own. I now know that I have a cluster of traits, a syndrome, identifying me as Aspie, and therefore non-neurotypical, and that feared 'adult world' is the highly dysfunctional neurotypical world. For me, that comes as a very welcome revelation and I have the best weapon of all for stopping my persecutors in their tracks and at last ending my life of victimisation. It has empowered me, and enabled me to meet and help others like me.

When I say that I feel Aspies could do a better job than the usual shower running the show, I'm thinking of those who have strong positive traits of honesty, rational thinking, loyalty, a sense of justice and empathy. In other words, I feel that we have far more integrity than the average politician. Yes, private schools are inherently elitist, but thankfully rare to non-existent in European countries. They're a very English thing. When Eastern Europe was opened up to the West, various Western (usually US-based) companies, quangos, charities and religious outfits were quick to take root in these countries, and influenced the founding of private schools for children of the rich. Luckily, there aren't that many and they only tend to exist in and around the capitals. I can't really imagine a private school system like that of England ever taking hold in any non-English-speaking country. The English class system is unique, and it's the private schools, along with the monarchy, aristocracy and honours system that enable it to flourish. They have a lot to answer for. On the other hand, there's so much that I dislike about state schools too, but that's another story...

I only find out about this kind of thing by chance, often long after the event. I don't read papers, have no TV, rarely listen to domestic radio. I care passionately about every kind of injustice but. like so many of us, I feel helpless and isolated - just the way 'They' want us to feel.

I know nothing of any poll - very mysterious... and I have no complaints at all. I know that at times a moderator's job isn't easy - having been one in the past on a few forums. I find this forum pretty well-behaved compared with others I've known. I've nothing more to say on this really, except that Pianokitten has taken a fancy to Puppycat.

Aeolienne: So sorry to hear about your experiences in Sweden. I wouldn't call Swedish a particularly easy language, although of all the main European languages the Scandinavian ones, Hungarian, Finnish, Estonian and Albanian are those I know least about. I also get the impression that the Scandinavians are less likely to embrace English in the way they do in certain other European countries. It often seems that the poorer the people the more hospitable they are. The Nordic-Anglo-Germanic societies are not generally known for this, unlike the Irish-Romance-Slavic types. I threw temper tantrums in public places... I did this when suffering from C-PTSD. My mother in her 80s, had to calm me and lead me like a little child - very sad and painful memories. - so I know what it's like. My family's reaction to this was effectively to push me away and tell me to go and see a counsellor to sort myself out (yeah, right!) I suppose I had a very devoted mother. I was lucky. I hadn't been diagnosed with Asperger's then (even the counsellors I saw in the aftermath were ignorant of it); I often wonder what difference it would have made if my condition had been recognised... I also saw counsellors and I often wonder this too. There must be so very many 'if onlys' in the lives of late-diagnosed Aspies. Looking back, I wonder if it was a sensory impairment that was the issue here. It could well be. I've found that I've only discovered my sensory impairments gradually, after all if we've lived with something our lives we tend to take it for granted and barely notice it. Swedes tend to be fairly introverted, which makes it that much harder for an ex-pat trying to reach out to people and communicate. Very true. You might get on best in the Romance/Latin countries where people are more expressive, less reserved and easier to understand emotionally - especially for Aspies. Their music and poetry reflect this. Canopus: I don't fully agree with this. If the United States was factored out then English today would largely be a language confined to the Commonwealth similar to how French and Portuguese are confined to former colonies of France and Portugal. What I meant was precisely this - the initial spread of English was far more pervasive than that of the other big colonial languages - Spanish, Portuguese, French or Dutch. The British Empire had outposts all over the world. English would almost certainly be in the top 10 economically important languages but it wouldn't be a global language. Outside of the Commonwealth, far fewer people today would know or be learning English. I'd say even then it would have been the top economically important language. It was used in virtually all the world's ports, due to Britain's world dominance in trade. By the way, the ICAO (International Civil Aviation Organisation) recognise four languages: English, French, Russian and Spanish. I agree with you about urbanisation and the urban accents, but accents differ from dialects (which also have their own distinctive accents). Germany and Japan industrialised but still maintain their own distinct culture, identity, and language. It's also notable that these countries have not endured the wrath of a politically correct liberal elite since the 1960s that England has which has exacerbated the demise of several aspects English culture and identity. The City bankers are equally to blame because they see England as nothing more than a machine to make money from and making money as the only activity of any worth in England. I think this is because neither Germany nor Japan experienced the catastrophic social effects that England suffered during the industrial revolution. At that time the nation state of Germany was yet to be born, Japan's obsessive isolationism helped it maintain its unique culture. I agree with you about the PC-brigade and City bankers. The City of London is a unique entity - a state with a state and virtually a law unto itself - an archaism which should be consigned to the past. The BBC (once dominated by public school toffs with Home Counties accents) was quite brutal towards local English dialects. They once wouldn't allow a person from Tipton to be a radio presenter because they had too much of a black country accent! A national broadcasting service always tends to have a homogenising effect upon local cultures. I can't really blame it for being brutal towards dialects (for they can be unintelligible to outsiders) but banning accents is a very different thing and smacks of snobbery. Ironically, the so-called Queen's English, as spoken by the Queen herself, is probably the least common indigenous English accent of 21st century England, Some concerns circulated that indigenous British students (and other students who don't know the languages) might struggle more than with a European language as a result of the different alphabet. What do you think of this? I agree. I have no problem with Cyrillic or Greek alphabets (and the pronunciation of Greek, Russian, Bulgarian, etc. is highly phonetic unlike English, French, etc.- a great help). Nearly all European languages have their own slightly different alphabets - even. Icelandic retains the Old English 'ash', 'thorn' and 'eth'. Most European alphabets include accented letters, etc. Welsh has it's ch, dd, ff, ll, ng and th counted as single 'letters' - confusing when using a dictionary - not to mention having to be alert to their fiendish first-letter mutation rules. http://www.siaradcymraeg.com/mutations.html However, when faced with something as alien as Chinese - no alphabet and 1000s of incomprehensible squiggles - Aaargh! Help! I think Armenian and Georgian have the most aesthetically appealing alphabets, Arabic perhaps the least, for me anyway! I think it's a combination of Enoch Powell potentially having AS himself and people with AS having a more questioning mind that doesn't go with the flow of popular opinion and the mainstream media like a high proportion of NT minds do. Yes! I've always been a black sheep. I'm just far too logical for the flock - and I wander into tangled thickets and think round corners too. I have suspected that sections of the radical right have appealed to people with AS whereas liberalism and modern western socialism are difficult for people with AS to comprehend. I suppose I'm a radical traditionalist spiritual atheist This may sound paradoxical but it's only so on a superficial level. I could show that it's entirely logical. I've never aligned myself with either left- or right-wing politics (or any kind of ideology) - and have never voted. I was only seen as an 'enigma' because the professional who called me this was looking in the wrong places, from the wrong direction - and using the wrong language! An admiration of Enoch Powell by people with AS has caused many frictions between them and NT parents of kids with AS who overwhelmingly despise Enoch Powell but rarely make the time and effort to study him in depth. This didn't apply with my mother, but then I suspect she too had AS. My dad never really discussed politics.