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About Moonlight

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  1. It is normal to feel some amount of anxiety even for people without any conditions. Things that could help to deal with anxiety inducing situations depends largely on your individual, but often can include firstly letting others know about your condition(s), things that could make the situation less unpredictable- ie talking through with your partner beforehand whats the general plan, and some things that may likely happen, etc, (keeping in mind that obviously some things may change and its ok-easier said than done, i know), finding something that works for you to reduce stress if things get too much, ie, planning where you can go to have some space and calm down, or some item you can fidget with, etc, and finding something that would help reduce stress before or after the event, ie a comforting ritual, having 5 minutes to chill listening to music, some like yoga or meditation, some like arranging or doubble checking some things etc. If your partner understands your situation, they shoudl be able to accommodate it at least to some extent to make it easier for you, keeping in mind that any relationship is give and take, meaning if she is going out of her way to adjust and accommodate, you should try do so aswell, when you can. There will be some things you cant do as well as expected, but there are certainly things you can do for her, and can do them well. Im sure of it. Relationships tend to fail if the (generally multiple)needs of one or both parties is persistently unmet(ignored)/insufficiently met. Communications is important (unfortunately!). If you find out what she wants or needs and what her visions for the future are and let her know yours, i am sure you two can figure things out:)
  2. Hi. I am 31y old, also with asd. It is a bit of a difficult question in the sense as we do not know him and what is important for him, but i would say it is correct that ritual/like behaviours are usually caused by an attempt to create a predictable environment with specific known actions, in a form of stress management. The choice of action can be changed, obviously, but should come from a decision of his own. personally id suggest to think the topic through and discuss it with him, why is this activity important to him, what is positive about it, and what is not so positive about it, and raise your concern that while you understand this is something he likes and makes him feel better, that you think in long run its not a good thing to be doing continuously as an adult and maybe discuss looking into some other things he may like doing instead that wouldnt be something that would have so much impact on others around him in the future(or any other outcome you may have in mind Keep in mind that unless theres a drastic change in current environment, the need for something ritualised like this wont go away, and is simply likely to be replaced by somehting sort of similar in its basic nature in regarding to the function it fulfills). But definetly give it some time to process and figure it out, rather than cause any abrupt changes. It may help to also ask his opinion(without pushing yours on them) what he would think if the neighbor started doing something similar or one of his peers, if he saw them doing something like this, especially a role play of some other childrens series he doesnt like as much. And what does he think they would think of him if they saw it. And draw a parralel that anyone outside the family may feel the same regarding his behaviour (if his opinion is similar to reality). this approach may cause some self complex and insecurity, while trying to work it through and find something else he would be comfortable with, but can work as a quick catalyst in a change of behaviour regarding it
  3. Yeah, for all those still thinking itd change your personality just think of all those identical twins. genetics 100% same, but personality wise generally very different people once you get to know them, as who you are is determined by your life experience, not gene pool. Same thing goes for if somebody took a genetical sample and tried to clone you. they might look like you but would never be the same personality. I would definetly not change any of my views or beliefs or become a totally different person just cuz i got fewer anxiety issues:)
  4. Id say it has alot to do with the severity of the condition and what exactly does the so-called "cure" involve. As who people are consists of both biological and environmental components, the genes setting the base of billions options of what you can become and the environment- the conditions and life experience, evolve us to who we are. As for the gener, the part making up ASD is fractional in the amount of genes inherited and as for me already being an adult, my memories and life experience remains the same, therefore i would most likely still be me after the so called cure unless its accompanied with major brain damage and memory loss. I would assume taking the cure would be pretty much like taking antidepressants-the medication would most likely be focused on simply alleviating the bad symptoms associated with ASD, in which case, if no health risks involved, i would take it. As for the oppinion everybody wanting to take the cure are so-called traitors, as then all aspies would be made to take it is a far-fetched statement. nobodycan make you take any medication while your still deemed to have mental capacity. And even when you dont you often have the option of declining. I know what im talking about, i work in care. You cannot force people to take their meds, even if they have dementia you cant unless theres specific paperwork in place to show they will suffer significant harm or even death if they dont take it. If your happy with the way you are, by all means, keep it that way. I, however have spent half my life wishing just to forget each and every day i been through and the other half that my mother had taken the advice of abortion before i was born. I grew up in a rather old-fashioned family with parents fixated on their ideas what children should be like and who they should become, thus being a constant letdown, constantly compared to my sister who fit their ideals. school was a nightmare, constantly being bullied by classmates for being "strange" or "different", i was never able to make any real friends like the rest. The constant stress level build up due to the overcrowded and unfriendly school envoironments often resulted me having a fever every evening and ending up sick almost every few weeks as unlike the rest i dont unwind as easily and most of my energy is spent day-in, day-out to shutting myself in my room, in my own world, pretending RL is just a dream and i actually am someone else, somewhere else where there is either no people, or people very different from the ones i see on a day to day basis. As this is the only way i cope. I hate the fact i dont often understand other people, despite i speak the language fine. Especially if they got a tiny bit of local accent or even if they just use a phone, it often modifies the voice enough for me to no longer understand someone. I hate the fact i cant seem to make any friends despite i really really want to, i simply cannot seem to connect to people. I hate i cant multitask and am extremely forgetful because my head is filled with so much worries, because the way i am everything seems ten times harder than it should be, than it seems to be for anyone else. There are so many things i want to do, but i cant, because i cant drive, whether or not i tried to learn for it, because my processing speed is simply too slow, not to mention the lack of my spacial awareness and observation skills, busses make me feel anxious and confused and i find it terrifying to go to unfamiliar places by myself, and since i got no friends im stuck. I cant cope with full time employment like the rest, am unable to enjoy physical intimacy, am constantly struggling with social cues ending up people thinking of me as weird or sometimes accusing me of being downright rude and i simply cannot understand why, being rotated around at work causes anxiety and panicing and i could go on and on. So if there was a cure that would help me live my life to the full and allow me to be who i want to be without the constant stress, fear and exclusion/isolation, bring it on. As i said, i think the answer to the question is subject very much to the differences between each and every case and the difference of the quality of life it would bring. As for the prenatal, i would steer very carefully with that, unless proven to be 100% accurate, i wouldnt trust it. Untill then avoid at all costs, id say.
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