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About gelofogo

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  1. gelofogo


    Hello, Moson. I'll have to figure out how to add...umlauts? ...to spell your name properly. Recent changes in diagnostic criteria make it difficult for me to get help, although I'm privately seeking some pharmaceutical help for the symptoms arising from some of my comorbids. Expensive, but could help day-to-day. I can strongly relate to the problem of multiple issues. Welcome!
  2. Hi, Mia Arte, welcome. Survival is the art we are all studying, or most of us, anyway, I think.
  3. I couldn't complete the poll without answering all the yes/no questions, even the mutually exclusive ones. When I put the same scores in them all, I got a result. I don't trust it since I had trip answer questions falsely to do it.
  4. Georgiapiano, how did you work it out? I'm stuck in a loop that says I can't be done until I've cropped the photo that never actually displays, even though I've selected it and opened it.
  5. Hi, Mihaela, I hoped you'd write back. If you're interested, I started a thread in Off-topic about books. I just finished one I liked. I'd just read an article in the Atlantic about the difficuities and rewards of making friends and thought I'd dive in and start a thread on that, too. I've been identified as intellectually gifted, but schoolwork, ha, not so much. Serial underachiever. Although I did well at writing. Loved modern poetry and Shakespeare, and fell into haiku--not so much the 5-7-5 rigid form in English, but in translation. Once upon a time, I was a science major, and that was fun.
  6. As an adult, I used to make my friends at work. The last decade of economic instability in my area has made this difficult, and I'm now trying to make friends without having "The Office" be my social petri dish. It's not working all that well. A recent article by The Atlantic (links to cover story, "How Friendships Change in Adulthood") observed that friend-making is essential to emotional health, and yet friends are the relationship most likely to be dropped in adult life: the obligations for the "priority relationships" of job, spouse, children, and parents come first, and the threefold criteria for friends: “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy." I write. A lot. I need somebody to talk to, because they'll read me, as I will them; someone to depend on, providing some degree of consistency and expecting that back from me; and someone to enjoy--sparring thoughts and agreeable silences in appropriate degrees." I have a friend: I overwhelm him, because I write so much. I have a friend: she does better on the phone, and so we talk. I am a letter-writer, and I have struggled to define what should be written in paper, with my beloved fountain pen, and what calls for the speed of e-mail, and what needs to be spoken. I'm finding that I often need all three to maintain the level of proximity that friendship requires: the thoughtfulness and permanence of paper as a way to set an anchor, the fleeting speed of email as connective tissue and immediacy, and the emotional communication of voice. How are the rest of you making friends in adulthood?
  7. I resist being told what to read, but I finally caved in and read All The Light We Cannot See--despite the fact that it's won a Pulitzer Prize, it did get outstanding reviews from sources I respect, and it was worth them all. I thought everything had already been written about WWII, but a story told from the war, not about the war, playing off a German sergeant and a French museum worker, a blind girl and a boy who neither commits wholly to his friends, nor to the war effort, but is absorbed in radio until an unexpected transmission causes him to start behaving...differently...I'm describing this badly. It was refreshing to read about the looting of Europe without the customary (and justified) indignation by the looted. It was deeply engaging reading about a boy who might be aspie, but for whom this isn't primary--only his gift is. I didn't expect to like it, and the first couple of pages didn't draw me in much, but I couldn't put it down. There is no happy ending--how could there be--but time moves on. I'll be rereading this one; it's deep enough. What have you read lately?
  8. Seconding Abagley...I've rediscovered movies, temporarily dropped photography to take up bookbinding (which may or may not be similar to art gallery card-making), and while I used to think coffee is a reward, I now find it nearly essential :-).
  9. I've given... tickets to a play cash (it always fits that particular recipient) a "Dick Tracy" watch two handmade books flowers a personal essay on anima, persona, and person hope (meals to shut-ins)
  10. All right, I'll play contrarian. The profit margin for the average dry goods retailer is 3% and many of them do not break even for the year until November-hence the celebration when the store comes out of the red and "into the black." If you knew that places you like to shop would likely fold without some socially engineered spending support, would you be more likely--assuming you're able--to buy more goods? What would you be willing to do, or do without, such that retailers could stay in business, and we could be without Black Friday? Or we could go deeper...why does Black Friday bother people? And what does any person's reaction to the concept say about them?
  11. Agree with Baz57 and Mihaela. My initial ventures into local meetups didn't pan out especially well. I wasn't aiming for AS-specific groups. I was hoping that people who resorted to meetups for social reasons might be a bit more likely to be one of the tribe, so to speak. Perhaps so. Except for technical groups, they seem to be tiny, inconsistent, and rather prone to meeting in noisy coffee shops. Put a bit of a damper on things, for me. Perhaps we don't 'flock.'
  12. I'm so glad it was helpful--and I do hope things turn out well for you both. Let us know what develops! I was in my thirties before I married (amd I'm still married).
  13. I'm a working professional woman with a family, and I can relate well to what Georgia and Mihaela are saying. Work has always been happy, for me, until the trend for doing everything in groups became popular. 'Downtime' has become a plea from quite a few people in my office, as it's impossible to devote deep thought in a specialty when someone's going off half-cocked, mainly by participating without having done their due diligence. It's easy to look 'engaged' just by taking up time talking. They don't value what they can't understand, and when understanding is limited to "Oh, I need to say something here to prove I can participate," the level of conversation drops quite a bit. And for politeness's sake, I say nothing; nothing causes offense quicker than when a poseur has to respond to a good point. I can and do manage to work in small groups. I do enjoy quiet zones afterwards. I don't like going home from work exhausted from all the contact.
  14. Hi, branicles, The avoidant behavior suggests to me that she's not comfortable with the subject. If you don't chase her, she may feel more free to approach at her own speed. If she's already agreed to tell you when she's in town, it may be a good idea to keep conversation live without asking her for her feelings--feelings are private, until the other person wants to disclose them. And that's not really about Asperger's, that's just about people. If you love something, the only way to know if it loves you back is if it chooses to follow you. Snaring it in a net of words doesn't do much for that. Being in your 20s can make that a little harder to sort than for some older folks, in my experience.
  15. Hello, I'm new here. Seeing a lot of familiar statements upthread. I don't pass for "normal" beyond the most trivial social events, and generally doesn't take more than a day or so of steady contact before the mask slips. I'm interested in the arts, especially photography, poetry, and literature. Keeps me alive in soul while I hold brain and body together with a job in insurance. When I saw 'Howl' I wondered if that was a reference to Alan Ginsberg, or a generic feeling of sounding off to the moon...both of which I could relate to at times. I read, like chess, and just don't mix well in groups unless I have something specific to do. Hoping to meet people who like to talk books, take pix, and want to get out of their own heads every now and then. Grateful to be here.
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