Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About gelofogo

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  1. Greetings

    Hello, Moson. I'll have to figure out how to add...umlauts? ...to spell your name properly. Recent changes in diagnostic criteria make it difficult for me to get help, although I'm privately seeking some pharmaceutical help for the symptoms arising from some of my comorbids. Expensive, but could help day-to-day. I can strongly relate to the problem of multiple issues. Welcome!
  2. Hello Discovering myself and ASD

    Hi, Mia Arte, welcome. Survival is the art we are all studying, or most of us, anyway, I think.
  3. Alexithymia

    I couldn't complete the poll without answering all the yes/no questions, even the mutually exclusive ones. When I put the same scores in them all, I got a result. I don't trust it since I had trip answer questions falsely to do it.
  4. Uploading photos?

    Georgiapiano, how did you work it out? I'm stuck in a loop that says I can't be done until I've cropped the photo that never actually displays, even though I've selected it and opened it.
  5. Hi, Mihaela, I hoped you'd write back. If you're interested, I started a thread in Off-topic about books. I just finished one I liked. I'd just read an article in the Atlantic about the difficuities and rewards of making friends and thought I'd dive in and start a thread on that, too. I've been identified as intellectually gifted, but schoolwork, ha, not so much. Serial underachiever. Although I did well at writing. Loved modern poetry and Shakespeare, and fell into haiku--not so much the 5-7-5 rigid form in English, but in translation. Once upon a time, I was a science major, and that was fun.
  6. As an adult, I used to make my friends at work. The last decade of economic instability in my area has made this difficult, and I'm now trying to make friends without having "The Office" be my social petri dish. It's not working all that well. A recent article by The Atlantic (links to cover story, "How Friendships Change in Adulthood") observed that friend-making is essential to emotional health, and yet friends are the relationship most likely to be dropped in adult life: the obligations for the "priority relationships" of job, spouse, children, and parents come first, and the threefold criteria for friends: “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy." I write. A lot. I need somebody to talk to, because they'll read me, as I will them; someone to depend on, providing some degree of consistency and expecting that back from me; and someone to enjoy--sparring thoughts and agreeable silences in appropriate degrees." I have a friend: I overwhelm him, because I write so much. I have a friend: she does better on the phone, and so we talk. I am a letter-writer, and I have struggled to define what should be written in paper, with my beloved fountain pen, and what calls for the speed of e-mail, and what needs to be spoken. I'm finding that I often need all three to maintain the level of proximity that friendship requires: the thoughtfulness and permanence of paper as a way to set an anchor, the fleeting speed of email as connective tissue and immediacy, and the emotional communication of voice. How are the rest of you making friends in adulthood?
  7. I resist being told what to read, but I finally caved in and read All The Light We Cannot See--despite the fact that it's won a Pulitzer Prize, it did get outstanding reviews from sources I respect, and it was worth them all. I thought everything had already been written about WWII, but a story told from the war, not about the war, playing off a German sergeant and a French museum worker, a blind girl and a boy who neither commits wholly to his friends, nor to the war effort, but is absorbed in radio until an unexpected transmission causes him to start behaving...differently...I'm describing this badly. It was refreshing to read about the looting of Europe without the customary (and justified) indignation by the looted. It was deeply engaging reading about a boy who might be aspie, but for whom this isn't primary--only his gift is. I didn't expect to like it, and the first couple of pages didn't draw me in much, but I couldn't put it down. There is no happy ending--how could there be--but time moves on. I'll be rereading this one; it's deep enough. What have you read lately?
  8. Positive fun things people like

    Seconding Abagley...I've rediscovered movies, temporarily dropped photography to take up bookbinding (which may or may not be similar to art gallery card-making), and while I used to think coffee is a reward, I now find it nearly essential :-).
  9. What did you give for Christmas?

    I've given... tickets to a play cash (it always fits that particular recipient) a "Dick Tracy" watch two handmade books flowers a personal essay on anima, persona, and person hope (meals to shut-ins)
  10. Do we really need Black Friday?

    All right, I'll play contrarian. The profit margin for the average dry goods retailer is 3% and many of them do not break even for the year until November-hence the celebration when the store comes out of the red and "into the black." If you knew that places you like to shop would likely fold without some socially engineered spending support, would you be more likely--assuming you're able--to buy more goods? What would you be willing to do, or do without, such that retailers could stay in business, and we could be without Black Friday? Or we could go deeper...why does Black Friday bother people? And what does any person's reaction to the concept say about them?
  11. Aspergers and ADHD/ODD

    Agree with Baz57 and Mihaela. My initial ventures into local meetups didn't pan out especially well. I wasn't aiming for AS-specific groups. I was hoping that people who resorted to meetups for social reasons might be a bit more likely to be one of the tribe, so to speak. Perhaps so. Except for technical groups, they seem to be tiny, inconsistent, and rather prone to meeting in noisy coffee shops. Put a bit of a damper on things, for me. Perhaps we don't 'flock.'
  12. Advice on potential partner

    I'm so glad it was helpful--and I do hope things turn out well for you both. Let us know what develops! I was in my thirties before I married (amd I'm still married).
  13. I'm a working professional woman with a family, and I can relate well to what Georgia and Mihaela are saying. Work has always been happy, for me, until the trend for doing everything in groups became popular. 'Downtime' has become a plea from quite a few people in my office, as it's impossible to devote deep thought in a specialty when someone's going off half-cocked, mainly by participating without having done their due diligence. It's easy to look 'engaged' just by taking up time talking. They don't value what they can't understand, and when understanding is limited to "Oh, I need to say something here to prove I can participate," the level of conversation drops quite a bit. And for politeness's sake, I say nothing; nothing causes offense quicker than when a poseur has to respond to a good point. I can and do manage to work in small groups. I do enjoy quiet zones afterwards. I don't like going home from work exhausted from all the contact.
  14. Advice on potential partner

    Hi, branicles, The avoidant behavior suggests to me that she's not comfortable with the subject. If you don't chase her, she may feel more free to approach at her own speed. If she's already agreed to tell you when she's in town, it may be a good idea to keep conversation live without asking her for her feelings--feelings are private, until the other person wants to disclose them. And that's not really about Asperger's, that's just about people. If you love something, the only way to know if it loves you back is if it chooses to follow you. Snaring it in a net of words doesn't do much for that. Being in your 20s can make that a little harder to sort than for some older folks, in my experience.
  15. Hello, I'm new here. Seeing a lot of familiar statements upthread. I don't pass for "normal" beyond the most trivial social events, and generally doesn't take more than a day or so of steady contact before the mask slips. I'm interested in the arts, especially photography, poetry, and literature. Keeps me alive in soul while I hold brain and body together with a job in insurance. When I saw 'Howl' I wondered if that was a reference to Alan Ginsberg, or a generic feeling of sounding off to the moon...both of which I could relate to at times. I read, like chess, and just don't mix well in groups unless I have something specific to do. Hoping to meet people who like to talk books, take pix, and want to get out of their own heads every now and then. Grateful to be here.