claire33

Hi pumpkinpie Ill give you a few basic reasons why ive denied it so far when k was going down he came back mentally and physically ill he would take fits his behaviour was uncontrollable in school and at home he wasnt getting him changed or washed he would leave him with his mother to go out he has no understanding of k,s problems the windows in the house were put out with a bat he lives in a house with his girlfriend and 2 kids (2 bedroomed house) when i told him he needs routine he took no notice basically (hes the father he knows best he has been in prison in the last few months for violence charged with assault on my sister and my neice i could go on forever

Hi All I posted a while ago saying that my sons so called father was asking for contact, which i have denied him, due to the fact no god can come of it. Basically he hasnt seen him for almost 2 yrs and he is setteled alot more now, he is not the same child he was back then. But he has alot of issues and problems which he is getting some help for( not as much as i would like) However he is now taking me to court, i feel that if its granted its going to cause alot of harm and k will end up going back to where he was 2 yrs ago, its not fair on him and it is killing me to think that he is going to destroy him all over again. What can i do?????? Anyone PLease???????

Thanx krystaltps no he hasnt had a proper IQ test done to be honest i dont think he would manage it. but you made a goood point there about AS possibly being the reason, he hasnt got a diagnosis of as as yet but i am pretty sure he has it or is definately on the spectrum somewhere. I wish they would give him one as at the minute its like being blind not knowing it is taking forever and its not helping him in the long run as hes missing out on the help he needs.

Hi stressedmumto2 You have just described my k perfectly, i dont think the word quite is in his vocabulary

Hi Sorry had to ask ive just been reading on this website something that was basically saying to have aspergers you must have average or above average intelligents. If that is the case i have thought all this time that this could be what my k has only to find out today it isn't? Apparently learning disabilitys are associated more with autism than aspergers i thought they were one in the same thing??? Is it right?????? Because if so my k is well below average doe sthat mean he is AS???

Hi all Can anyone tell me what a ADOS test is and what it involves??? PLEASE

Thanx stressedmumto I was a bit surprised when he came out with it to be honest as he is usually just waving his hands around and talking to himself along with other stuff, and to be honest usually i have to switch off but im glad i didnt today. Actually to be honest when he told me when i entered the shop i found myself trying to listen to all the sounds he could possibly be hearing and there must be lots but to hear them all at the same time must be distressing to say the least. I really felt for him today while we were in there it was quite bsy today and he ran around, shouted waved his arms, made noises as usual and usually ill try and quieten him but i thought no if doing it helps him why should i denie him that. Spongebob is the man in my book.

Hi all Ill explain a bit first why im asking. Im always trying to find out from k wht he doesnt like about things to see if i can help him in anyway and he can never tell me. Yet today we went shopping which usually i dont like doing with him as its usually hell, but when hw e was in the car he started saying that his teddy spongebob which he had with him (obsession at the moment) doesnt like shopping because its to loud and that he doesnt like the people shouting and things dropping and basically every noise you would here in the supermarket, so he said is it okay if he waits in the car. I think he was really talking about himself yet when i asked him if he didnt like the noises either he said he doesnt know, but spongebob doesnt he hates it. Does anyone have any experiences of there children talking about themselves as another person or just as something else?????? If you do why do you think they do this???????

Hi My k was on equesym then ritalin and now hes on dexedrine which seems to work as the others really didnt have much of an affect.

Hi jsmum Yes i worry all the time thats why he spends all of his time with me ,i think maybe sometimes i can be way to over protective, but to be honest i feel like no one can take care of my k the way i can which you probably feel too (well most parents actually). I constantly worry about them not understanding him properly or laughing at him (which i dont think they do) but it plays on my mind even in school i like him with me. Even though i am glad of the time i get to myself when hes there. Do you think thats selfish?

Thanx baddad You made a good point there is alot of things media wise and other which does dictate that people with autism are in some way exceptionally talented' i think this is what confuses me alot as my k (god bless him) is not intelligent (so ive been told) however his memory is excellent. Yet as i said his asses showed him to have signifficant learning difficulties and to be functioning at approx 3-4yrs. Along with other things. Thanx for the link i will take a look

Hi deedee my k does have what they call the triad of impairments but i guess they all have them to a different extent. Although sometimes its hard to understand wether its his adhs or its an asd if you know what i mean. His little ways have always been there but i have noticed a lot more since hes been on the meds for adhd i suupose thats because hes no longer bouncing off the walls well not all the time anyway. what is ADOS and DISCO ???????

Hi buzzie lizzie I am like that myself my k is in a support unit in a different school on a morning and then back to mainstream on an afternoon, i dont think myself that he copes well with it and ill not even start with the problems going from one school to another has encountered. Although he hasn't been diagnosed with as i am positive he has it and i feel the same as you i dont yet know if he is going to be put into year three but if he is i really cant see him coping at all. My k is also below average IQ his assesment suggested that although he is 7 he is probably only functioning at about 3-4yrs, and his learning especially his reading down to rote memory. It was even said when i got the results that the school really didnt understand his problems and expected far to much, they also said that really they didn't think he should be in mainstream, which i dont know what to do about, as there is no other specialists schools here and like i said the one he attends at the moment only do mornings. If i knew of one i would move homes just to make life easier for him.

Thanx for that deedee it was just puzzling me a bit as i thought that most kids with asd were usually quite bright, i was so convinced that k is on the spectrum but i see things and reads things sometimes and i think well he doesnt do that maybe hes not? I know all kids are different and everything but how are you supposed to define what is ans what isnt an autistic trait??

Hi All My k had an assesment in january (cognitive) and i just got the results from camhs. What they have said is that he is well below average when it comes to learning, and they would say that although he is 7 yrs old he is probably only fonctioning at about 3-4yrs. They also said that he responds better to visual cues than verbal as he has limited understanding of verbal which i already knew, however he does have really good rote memory. However nothing else at the moment. I was just wondering if it is possible for a child with learning difficulties like this to be on asd aswell?????

Hi All Its a bit personal this but i want to ask anyway because im not sure what to do. K hasn't seen his father for almost 2 yrs now there has benn discussions between solicitors for quite a while about contact well mostly on and off i would say more off than on his part. However he has started again just last week and is saying now that if i dont let him hes taking it to court, now he has no idea about k's problems or should i say he knows just not to what extent. Now when i was with him he was never much of a father and to be honest i think the only reason hes doing this now is to save face if you know what i mean!! K is having real problems with coping at school at the moment and a change like that could put him well back and i honestly dont think that allowing him contact would benefit k at all. K never asks about him or even mentions him and i dont want to start it all off again as doing so would cause even more problems and its not just k that would suffer it would be everyone at home through his behaviour and everything else and i honestly dont need it and couldn't cope, and i dont think k could either i dont see why he cant just leave well alone k doesnt want for anything and is fine how he is all things considered. When i got the letter about contact it made me feel physically sick. What do you think???? I honestly dont think any good can come of it he didnt used to look after him properly whn he went down before he was always dirty or ill when he came back (mostly taking fits which i can now say he has never had one since he stopped going). Please help what should i do?????

Thanx smiley that link would be great if you can

Hi All Just wondered if anyone else has had this k came home from school today very upset with a bruise on his eye when i asked him what it was off he said he banged it off the table because the lady didnt give him his tablet (when expected i think) he has never done this before so i dont know why its happened now but wondered if anyone else has come across it?

Thanx clare its good to know your not alone , sounds like my mum and yours could be 2 of the same person

Hi all My k said something to me the other day that really upset me. There was some kids in the garden and they had smashed the milk bottles that were on the step. so when we were going out i told him what had happened and told him to watch the broken glass incase he hurt himself and he said they are only throwing them at you mam because they dont like me!!!! That was'nt what i said but it just goes to show how the things people do affect him, thats the first time he has said anything like that.

Hi All Is it just me or does the thought of having to constantly repeat yourself for the rest of your life, make you want to give up now. As much as i love my k i am so tired of it seems as though one battle ends and another begins, is there ever going to be a time when he can fend for himself cos i am so tired already, my mind is in overdrive and i dnt know how much more i can take I tryed talking to my mumtoday about the problems im having but i dont feel like she listens to me sometimes i feel like im whinning on and she is just sick of hearing me but i have no-one else to turn to i feel so heavy hearted i know its not k's fault, but it is wearing me down and i really cant cope. I just dont know where to turn!!!!

Hi elun How do i go about getting an assesment from SS and what do i need to tell them????

Hiall thanx for all your advice i will try that, hopefully they will listen this time.

Hi fags and booze Sorry i couldnt tell you to be honest im still trying to work out what a stim is myself there seems to be alot of them just not sure how to work out what is and what isn't hopefully someone will be able to answer that for you.

Hi all Why is it sometimes no matter how many people you talk or try to get help from you still feel very much alone!!!! I often find myself thinking am i doing enough or is there something more i could be doing??? if there is i dont know what!! everytime i seem to turn a corner it seems something pulls me right back, does it ever get any better or is this a lifelong quest to search for the answers to the unknown only to find there are none? My kids are my life and i would never change that, however a day in the life of normality is my only wish is this being selfish??? I am constantly tired and seem to go over the same things day in day out and its driving me insane my family live quite a way from me and no matter how much i say to them they never really offer any help, i dont want to ask them, as i know how i struggle aand wouldnt want to put that on them. Any ideas anyone????????