ellisisamazing

Hev, Good Luck....hopefully there will be a satisfactory outcome for you! Lisa xx

S'ok Chris..... Good Luck! Lisa xx

Caroline, I read your post and it totally mirrored our experience!!! <'> I did the 'great news' calls too, and then had a mini breakdown! All you can do is release whatever needs to be cryed, screamed, shouted, thrown out! Our Diag was just 14 months ago (El was 3 and a half) and every now and then it justs creeps up and bites me on the bum.....and I bite it back harder!! LIFE IS A ROLLERCOASTER!!!!!!!!!! Lisa xx

Just enjoy it......and long may the good times last!

Oh I'm Ok! El and Ro been settled since 8.30pm!! So in all a good night, just finished my laundry and I am now having a rest and a voddie! Have a good rest! Lisa xx

madme and shamu, It is still a shock, you hope your child will the one they made a wrong judgment on. Please cry if you have to, It'll do you good! We had El's Diagnosis 14 months ago and I knew in my heart a year prior to that, that he was Austistic and it was still a shock. I was crying all over the place, couldn't look at people for the fear that if they were nice to me I would cry! Just do what comes naturally, let it out. It will take time to adjust, but you will get there! Big Hugs Lisa xx <'>

Have just applied for ff forms for first time, so fingers crossed! Would love to apply for Holiday, and some other bits...maybe a touch screen pc! Have just bought a new Condenser dryer on 23rd Dec and a new washer earlier in the year, so they aren't needed! Maybe a tv for El! Oh well, lets see eh?

It's so easy for those who aren't involved on a daily basis to make their ridiculous statements, isn't it? Thing is they never see the child at their very worst, mum and dad at the end of their tether, and the family in crisis. So easy for others who don't have direct contact to make their 'helpful little comments'....... But they don't offer to spend a day in your shoes either!

Thanks Karen A, I have spoken to my HV this morning and she is going to see what my options are. I think it is totally down to individual cases and how you are coping basically, if all else fails....we will have to pay until September!

I agree totally with what you're saying, but I still believe it's ok to cry. Our son was our first child and developed fine and fast until age of 15 months then he started to change, But we had family saying stuff like, 'Little boys are lazy, so don't worry!'. So to us it was kinda normal too, I think we buried our heads in the sand about it, and it was a Singing teacher at a play group sesh who picked up on ' his ways'. We just got on with it too, by then we had another child to care for as well. So we had to just deal with whatever hit us!

What I should have added is that I think men are so conditioned to be strong and BE A MAN as they are growing up so they find it hard to get upset in a crying way, so will sometimes ease their anger or frustrations by verbally lashing out. I totally encourage my DH to show his feelings, but sadly he was brought up in a non hugging, non loving family so finds it quite hard to cry, but I applaud it when does cry, it's good way to release all that pent up emotion. No shame in at all!

I don't want OFFEND anybody here, but I do think that men on the whole do have more difficulty with accepting the diagnosis and facing the future with an AS/ASD Child. Sorry If any of the lovely men here disagree! From my Hubbys point of view, he said that as a typical sport loving man, he had so many dreams of taking his boy to football matches and doing rough boy stuff and he feels that the rug has been pulled from under him. I see him sometimes watching other father/son relationships when we are out and you can see the sadness of what he thought life would be. I always tell him that with time these dreams may become reality. I have really high hopes for our boy, but as long as he is happy that more important than anything else. My Hubby will ask, 'why is he doing that?', and sadly I don't have the answers either. Wish I did!

Perhaps your Husband isn't coping as well as you think. I think maybe he thinks by making comments like he is, that your boy will be encouraged to make changes. Your Hubby sounds confused and upset and maybe doesn't know to admit this. Maybe he thinks in doing so, you'll think he's weak. My Hubby took seven months after our sons diagnosis to accept what was happening. We went to the beach and our son 'didn't get' how to make a sandcastle and my Hubby ended up in tears and admotted he'd felt inferior wanting to admit his upset and fears.

Thanks Elun, Hope to chat with you also! Hope you had a great holiday?! Lisa xx

I thought this was a great portrayal of Autism, the actors all did justice to the roles and the little boy was just fantastic. Both me and DH sat slacked jawed at some of the similarities and we both shed a tear or two! When the little boy said, "Kyle loves his Mummy", I fell apart. Hopefully one day I will hear those words too! Overall my favourite Autism drama ever. Loved the scenes filmed in a genuine special school too.

Thanks madmooch, We are on Child Tax Credit?? So we may not apply! I will look into it though. Lisa xx

Hi Simon, No, my daughter has no special needs. She is pretty clingy to me and I want to make the transition gradually. I will contact my HV, It is worth a shot! Thanks Lisa xx

My son is at special school and my daughter who is two and a half will be attending 5 free nursery sessions from September 07. I really want to try and get her in to Nursery beforehand for one or two sessions per week to give her time to adjust and give me back some time for myself! Anyway I know I can pay for this to happen, but I have heard that in certain circumstances that places are given free of charge, a girl I used to know had PND and was awarded free sessions for 2 of her 4 children. She was only 21, single and had 4 kids in 4 years. Maybe because she was a lone parent it was awarded? Does anybody know if this is true? My Husband works full time. We recieve DLA middle rate and Carers Allowance.

Yes, respite is a very difficult avenue. I was offered this several times but declined due to my sons age, I just feel it would be too much disruption to a routine we have worked hard to achieve, Also the thought of 'my' boy becoming attached to another set of 'parents' is unbearable to me! As a consequence my Boy's consultant has said that if we don't accept a social worker and respite now, there is basically no chance of us qualifying as he gets older! What annoys me is that we may need this at a later date, but because we are currently doing good and coping well, we may have to suffer in the future!

Thanks Mel, Hope to chat with you too!

Hi Annie, I'm new too! Just keep pushing the Prof's for a diagnosis, be firm with them, you need answers! Keep strong. Lisa xx

Thank You Forbsay!

mm, It's sounds awful, I really feel for you. Can you not get some respite at all?, I am generally against this cause my boy is only four and too young, but it seems that you are at breaking point and could really do with the rest. Lisa xx

Hi Kathryn, annie and nellie! Thank you all for the welcome. I look forward to chatting with you all. Lisa xx