KateBall

Mason (sorry - first thing that came to my head)

Ha - that reminds me of an old aunt who couldn't find the food colouring for her icing so she used green ink!!

Yes - my ds doesn't seem to feel much pain. DD (nt) is quite the opposite. My dd once shut her thumb in the car door. I ran all the way round from the drivers side to open the door for her to find it locked - ran back got the keys ran back unlocked it and opened door only to shut it in again when I didn't quite open the door fully and it shut straight back up again. Ever since she's held it against me! Poor C - hope he recovers ok. He has been so brave.

When he was supposed to do SATS - and thanks Rach it must have been year 2 - I remember I had some doubt as to whether he was doing them. He became very stressed and had a naughty incident of some sort and I said I put it down to SATS going on but they said he wasn't doing them so it couldn't be. Then later they said he did do them. So I think this time I must get clarification.

That's true.

Thanks Rach- sounds like could be very stressful to do the real thing. Mumble - yeh I did wonder if this was the reason although she also genuinely said that there was little point as he wouldn't be able to do them. However I think I need to know what's involved in the SATS - so I can also judge whether he can do them or be stressed by them. I think you may have hit nail on head. When SATS were an issue a year of so ago (can't remember) he did seem perturbed by being the only one not doing it. But then would he also be perturbed by the only one doing them in another room? Hence might be best to take up Ed Psychs suggestion of giving him a false one that we know he could do. JSMum - I think your're right too and I need them to let me know in writing their reasons he can't do it. I think thats what I'll do - ask her to elaborate on what will be involved for him if he does it and why she thinks he can't. Is it going to mess up her target figures he if does it and brings the level down? Is that what its all about? Or am I really being cynical here.

I had the annual review yesterday and it went ok for the most part. After digesting our discussions 1 thing has been bugging me. The ed psych said that ds had been referred back to SALT for further assessment. SENCO now convinced (as we have been for many years!) that ds has a communication disorder. The cdat assessed ds some 2/3 years ago and concluded he was merely "socially immature" (load of rubbish we have always said and school now agrees and annoyed they had no input in the assessment process). Anyway up to now "communication delay" has been mentioned - well thats rubbish too as we all knew. But Ed psych said if I wanted a diagnosis other than autism I would have to ask my GP to deal with it - as it would involve a medical diagnosis. I just wondered what you all thought since surely the cdat - stands for Communication Disorder Assessment Team and they shouldn't just be looking at "autism". Surely if my ds has a communication disorder - as we all think - whether its autism or not - then thats also for them to assess?? Also HT said she would prefer ds not to do SATS next year as he won't cope with them and would have to have a reader for the paper and it would upset him and the others doing the test. Ed psych said give him a bogus paper and that will help his self esteem. Do your children do SATS and are you bothered?

And why did the council/school statement on the tv say that the staff felt "frightened and threatened" when the the HT told you they didn't? Also even if they did feel that way - it doesn't mean to say they were justified in feeling frightened and threatened. I think Victoria Derbyshire seemed to do her best for you on Radio 5 asking the school why did the knife get out if they had this rule about counting knives in and out. But she couldn't do much when the council bloke suggested there was doubt about where the knife came from. What a cheek he had. Well done for standing your ground - but hope you manage to talk to them and away from the public glare they are prepared to accept mistakes were made and give you some re-assurance about their future conduct. It must seem very raw now but just be assured that you have done absolutely the right thing. I think the fact that various news channels and papers have picked up your story is testament to the general feeling that this was a ridiculous situation. Otherwise it would not be newsworthy would it. Don't let the ******* grind you down.

No you didn't at all. I listened. I thought the Council bloke was evil. Putting in little suggestions that there was some doubt about whether the knife came from school. I thought you both came back on the points very well and despite having every right to be angry about the way the school overreacted and got the police involved - you stuck to the fundamental issue of how should a child be allowed to have this knife in the first place. I think the obvious point here is that the school should not have been using stanley knives. I notice the Council bloke kept calling it a "craft" knife. The 2 are very different. I think you are right to seek assurances about their H & S policy. Otherwise it could happen again - your son bringing home the knife. What on earth are they doing allowing stanley knives to be used. They effectively "armed" your son. Didn't the HT already accept there was a mistake on this score? So why is the Council bloke backtracking. Obviously he's spoken to the legal dept I didn't hear all the comments after your piece - just a few. Some people just can't see the issues. But we know that don't we (eg in our dealings with ed psychs, SALT etc etc.). Keep your spirits up - you did a good job. Now you have to find a way to get your son back to school - or to another school? I think that in view of the school calling the police you have every right to suggest that the parent/school relationship has badly broken down and needs some work if your son is to go back. Also school need to assure you that the possibility of the knife coming home can't happen again. What about involving parent partnership to help you discuss issues with the school. Including the issue of the lost records and recognising your sons SEN. Anyway best of luck - hope you find a way forward.

This sounds a bit like my son. When he swears at home I ask him where on earth did he learn that from. He tells me the teacher says it all the time. Now of course I don't believe that but I just wonder what he tells them at school about what I do or say. I hope your school was understanding. And social services.

Certainly will. Good luck. Any idea what time?

Stationers

Yep - I did all that - the GMT is and always has been set on Casablanca Dublin London Lisbon Monrovia and the DST time box is checked. Oh - I just clicked on change my account options anyway just to see - and the time changed. I've gone back an hour. I feel all giddy.

Thats interesting you should say that. My first reaction was - destroy them. We've left them for the moment because can't decide. I'm coming to terms with what she said and why so perhaps I'll be able to read them again in a different light. She must have said some nice things too - I hope. Thanks all for the understanding. I know it was a bit miserable but just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks Pearl and Karen. I've printed out the SEN code of practice and will arm myself with relevant facts before the meeting - just in case. Pearl - who contacted the senior school to make arrangements re the extra visits. Is it down to the primary SENCO or the ED Psych to get in touch with them about a transition plan - or down to me? I've already had a meeting with the school ds will likely go to - just to see if I like them! They are the designated school for this area so transport will be provided by bus. Also they are the smallest of the senior schools in this area and I thought this would help my ds than send him to one twice the size. My dd went there but they have changed a lot since then.

Thanks for all your advice about my recent post about funeral of granny. It went ok and I didn't take ds - managed to find someone who had him for 2 days and he was fine. It didn't seem too disruptive for him. I've only just been able to come to terms and talk about it now because it was pretty awful for us really. We knew granny had been keeping a diary over many years and my 21 year old dd (nt) came across them and of course curiosity got the better of us and she started to read them. Granny had written some pretty awful things about us at times. We only read a few entries but it was enough. She must have known we would read them some time because she had mentioned them to us. Anyway I always knew she found it difficult to accept us. I actually saw the words about my ds - who would then only have been 6 - that he was a "nasty so and so" and that he was "spoilt" and allowed to get away with things and not all his behaviour could possibly be blamed on autism - it was down to us not disciplining him etc etc I'm sure you get the gist. She wrote this at the time my dd went down on the train to stay with her for a w/e taking ds with her. We purposely didn't go as we thought it would be nice for them to spend time together on their own and he would be better with not so many people around. My dd made a special effort to go because she was due to go away to university. And then to find that granny wrote these awful things not only about ds but also some about dd too. I realise now she just got too grumpy and found things difficult because of her age and generation to understand - but it really hurts. Its not that it was a big surprise - I always knew she had these feelings - I could just tell. But to see it in black and white was quite a shock. Bless him - ds said he was going to miss her. He had no clue that she found him so beastly even though she could be really grumpy and unwarm to him.

Thats a bit odd - mine hasn't automatically updated. Perhaps I'm like Dr Who and in another dimension.

I don't think you should give up. Especially as its affected you all so badly and I can quite understand why. What about the solicitor. Have you seen one yet. You want one who can deal with handling a complaint like this and possibly taking legal action against police/school (even if you don't actually eventually go down that road).

Why does the board time in my settings say it is an hour ahead even though it is set on GMT London? I didn't sleep that long this afternoon on the sofa did I?

My ds doesn't seem to get nervous. It all goes over his head. But boy do I get nervous. One year - at a school concert I had to leave the room and have a cry. He was just sat there not able to take part - the songs were too fast for him and he didn't have a clue. I'm afraid these sort of events just make me realise how different he is and how he struggles. At one of his very first christmas productions he had obviously been told - as the others had - to dance around and of course he took it literally. He danced around and around and around until from nowhere he spun out of control with dizziness, his feet left the ground and somehow he was propelled across the room in the air and landed in a heap on the floor. I was just so sad for him. At another event he was supposed to be holding his teddy as the others were and singing some song or other. He dropped his just at the moment they all started to dance around with them - only his teddy was by this time being kicked from pillar to post by small dancing feet with him chasing helplessly and grappling on the floor after it. Its funny now of course to think of it but at the time these things just make you cringe and I dread them. Good luck with yours. I know I'll be glad when its all over.

I have the annual review this week and as far as I know present will be the SENCO and ED Psych. The SALT and OT were invited but have declined. That's a good start isn't it. DS is 9 and has this and another year at Primary School. He has School Action + but no statement or dx. To me he is HFA perhaps or something similar. What should I expect them to be able to do at this meeting? I just find these meetings all talk and no subsequent action. My feeling is I shall be asking them if they think he is progressing under their use of various strategies (and if not what to do about it - eg assessment or whatever) and what strategies/things need to be in place when he goes to senior school. Am I on the right lines?

Oh yes and me too. One of my favourite films. I wanted to go and see the stage play but never did.

If possible it is really important that you do not do too much without the advice of a solicitor. It would be much better to get the solicitor to write a letter of complaint to the school, the police and whoever else. That is not to say that you're letter is not brilliantly written - but you would be best to show it to your solicitor first and get him/her to write officially for you. You also must see your GP - both of you - to record what effect it has had on the family - and tell the solicitor this too. I can just about imagine how angry and upset you are. You are so right to pursue this further.

Just bare in mind that if there was an allegation of your husband taking in an "offensive weapon" then there you go the school are well in the wrong for allowing that "weapon" to be in the school in the first place. It is therefore an admission by the school that they were in the wrong for using those knives in school. Do you know who called in the police? I go along with everyone else - go to the gp for help. Get gp to record how its made you all feel - physically and mentally. This is important. Then go to solicitor asap. Possibly even consider taking solicitor to any meeting you have with the school.

and I thought Sudan had overreacted.