allsetuk

when you go into the bbc i player , click on last 7 days when that comes up click on wednesday and on PAGE 2 , top left is where are they now and it shows a young adult stood on a trampoline ok hope this helps

if you go to bbc.co.uk/iplayer it has a programme called where are they now, a lady with an autistic son that was filmed 15 years ago talks about how far they have come and what they have done in past few years , tissues at the ready!

my son went mad when he saw them took great offence and threw across the room saying i know all this already , but today the SEN lady showed me a NAS dvd on visual help, it had this fantastic woman in south yorkshire on it who had made visual charts for everything in super fine detail and had them all over the house to explain every aspect of daily life, she kept saying if i told my son to do this he would ignore me but if i give the charts he does it

i have daily discussions with them about this for past two weeks, they sent home a motivational chart and a load of gold stars , the chart says I did my maths homework without fuss , i did my spellings quickly, etc and im meant to dish out stars ....at 5 pm he is just too tired to do this ....and theres no time in the morning....they just keep reiterating this issue of forming good habits...the english stuff was i think something he couldnt do in class today the rest was the daily homework with the addition of maths cos its wednesday

i know...i feel so much for him tonight, the english stuff was something he didnt manage to complete in class , its like they offer no allowances

major headache tonight my son came home with 2 sides of A4 english writing homework 2 sides of A4 maths homework, 2 magic key books to read, 10 spellings, a daily diary. I mean I ASK YOU, he is 5.5 , i think that is far too much , i walked into school and he was all smiles , got out to the car and went berserk, practically beat the car up , pulled my hair whilst i was driving and went nuts, consequently we didnt get the homework done after school, it was all i could do to calm him down

my son is 5.5 and gets reading homework every day, 10 spellings to write out every day and learn for friday spelling test and a daily diary that has to be written every day as well, also maths homework a sheet on a wednesday too, it has become a huge problem area ...he gets very distressed and stares at it getting more worked up, the daily diary is a total disaster, his teacher keeps talking to him about it and yet when he comes home he just wont/cant seem to attempt it. Ive tried talking to the teacher she says he has to do it after school as its good practise and good habit forming !!

Hello I was chatting with me SN Co coordinator last week, she showed me alot of visual cards that have instructions on like DONT HIT, BATH TIME, WASH HANDS, TEETH. Ive managed to get a whole range of them from ebay, all laminated and on a key ring but I was wondering does anyone here have a good idea /experience of how best to use them? I want to get into a good habit with them straight away but im not sure how best to do it, do i flash a card at him to tell him whats next or use a wall chart and stick the ones in that are relevant ? Or do you ask them to look through and tell you what they should be doing ?? they have a range of titles like Good choices / Bad choices/ Praise Book and Dont's thanks

everyone has to moan to someone, somewhere, as people keep reminding me on here , we are all human and make mistakes. I think many of us feel helpless and cant cope on a regular basis. Thank goodness we have this place as at least it feels like someone is there for us. Hope you feel better soon

i dont know what Chams is?

my son strips off alot, and hides in Dens he builds on the sofa. as soon as he walks in a house any house , socks and shoes are off...he also collects stones from everywhere we go ..... ....

i like those ideas , also cant you hide the melatonin in a drink, get the powdered form then they dont know ?

im just sitting here sobbing, i hate myself right now as i slapped him as he was being repeatedly difficult and i had walked off in the hope that if i ignored it, it would diffuse the situation and he leapt on me strangled me so hard and i couldnt get him to stop ...i was actually scared and i just lashed out as he freaked me out, i had a fright and flight response so heres me expecting him to not slap and what did i do but go and slap him.....what a joke i am, i cant even control myself or him , i try so hard to remain calm but he is just pushing me to mad limts, im exhausted but he is a law unto himself, no matter what i say or do he doesnt listen. he has always had strict boundaries and yet it all seems to have fallen by wayside...he just laughs at me or goes berserk running away /climbing/jumping, squashing and i cant get him to stop, with no one else around to help back me up , im just finding it harder to communicate with him, on any level

Hello I just wondered if anyone knows anything about housing benefit. / assistance with deposits etc I am in a really really small rented house, (rooms are like 9ft by 8ft) and i have been for three years and that is really adding to my sons problems , we came here when he was 2.5 but now he is getting older, more demanding , challenging, we cant cope with it at all downstairs bathroom, no garden outside space/ no cupboards so no storage anywhere not one single cupboard and very very noisy neighbours who party allweekend every weekend and near a freight train line which adds disturbance all night, the trouble is since i moved in three years ago, house rental prices have gone up in our area to like 700 a month, i have found somewhere much more suitable 2 bed bungalow but im worried about the price hike and what help ill get

im at my wits end with my son slapping me all the time, he just spends all day running from place to place slapping me and laughing or shouting things like moron ,he is behaving like a monster i took him to visit my mom today and aunt, and he literally cannot even talk to people without slapping them , or a punch or a hit or a being involved. especially to me if i even murmour a slight bit of disapproval about anything he is doing, ive no clue how to stop it he starts laughing and running around flicking lights on and off constantly and wont stop , yesterday he wouldnt stop jumping on me constantly, it was slap, jump , attack ,then he was try and squash me so hard and nearly squeezed the life out of me and he nearly strangld me and i couldnt get him off, hes only 5 but he is incredibly strong , we almost ended up fighting as ridiculous as this sounds, i always try to remain calm but its like whatever i say doesn't go in at all i am finding him harder and harder to deal with and the more i feel out of control, the worse this is getting, i feel like im losing any ability to communicate with him, if i take things away from him, he runs around and takes things of mine away..it doesnt seem to make any differnce i feel like a right failure at the moment , my mum shouted at him today as he was messing big time at the dinner table and she said to me well your approach doesnt seem to be working...so now i feel even more a failure :crying:

thanks ever so much, i actually this morning went to meet with the SEN coordinator of my area and had a HUGE 2 hour chat about everything , I took my sons report and she agreed that every target they have set for him is one which for AS children is very difficult, She felt as I did they are too preoccupied with treating him "normally" , He also gets incredibly long holiday , terms are only 8 weeks/ 8.5 weeks with a week in the middle and a month holiday at xmas and a month at easter and 9 weeks in summer. Which for my son isn't enough, he likes to be busy. Im seriously considering changing schools.But there are pro's and con's with that. Thanks for all your advice

thanks for your comments, someone at school in year 2 has apparently told him he is rubbish, which is adding to the problem, on the way home tonight he was singing a tune he made up, im bad im so bad, im a wierdo , im a freak !!! No matter what i say as i have tried for ever to be really positive but feel like im in a downward spiral big time. he sees to hear nothing I say. i was even told today that was i aware that people are saying he smells !!! i was like what !!! that came out the blue and now i feel super protective. i came home and threw all his clothes in the wash again with a ton of conditioner even though id only washed them yesterday , now i feel paranoid about that too for him. I have no clue what it means to get your child a statement ...but in reception he had a teacher who piled on major positive praise with big visual stars stickers written comments like "FABIDOO what an amazing reader"...now hes in year one all that has stopped completely and there is no recognition of what he does...he gets a gold star the size of my little fingernail for his weekly 10/10 spelling test . Ive asked them twice to please step up the postive reinforcement but they just keep ignoring me and saying he is getting more normal by the day. I was trying to point out that the main theme in his report is that he must learn to active listen but if they are not willing to implement simple visual aids i dont know what to do

Hello everyone. Im really struggling with my five and half year old at moment, hes becoming really aggressive. Its almost like he is aware that his mind is spiralling out of control so he tries to control everything and everything. He thumps and slamps almost constantly even though he knows this is wrong. He is exceedingly bright and yet when he comes home he is a monster. He is argumentative about everything , has to have the last word, and punches and slaps me all the time. Then punches himself and says he is rubbish. If I pass commment that I like a song or a tv programme, he says no screams "Oh you like it more than me ...Im rubbish." If I say anything he disagrees with he hurts me, if anyone else tells him something he disagrees with he sits next to me and pinches me really discreetly but really hard. I am completely worn out. Im also a bit worried about his school report, but because i have had no guidance what soever since he was diagnosed in January I have no clue who or what exactly is meant to happen for him at school. He does very well at school as he seems to have this amazing abilty to pretend that everything is ok at school, but its all a bit of clever trickery on his part. It has been observed that he doesnt activly listen, and that he needs to stay quiet and pay close attention but i thought schools were meant to understand that aspergers children need visual clues. Also in sports they say he cannot take direction in large groups and needs constant supervision as he cannot stay on the task and also cannot dress himself. He loathes dressing himself and it causes great distress. I kind of feel that they are treating him like a NT child and im not sure if this is right for him. He gets homework every day and getting him to complete is impossible and its more reason to attack me. He hates writing and they seem to have to do so much ,every day spelling to write out and a diary to keep. Ive tried talking to them but they keep acting like im talking about a different child... Has anyone any suggestions a very tired and teary mum

im afraid i dont know on this one, my son is five and half and i was told to expect him to sleep with me till he is about 9 or ten. He has only had one night in his own bed, he is so petrified he crys and screams if he even wakes up and im not there. Its really hard

wow v1971 this is very good support , apart from being given a list of books to read , i still have no clue who exactly is meant to be keeping an eye on things from a school perspective, nor a medical one really. My psychotherapist for my son told me to come back when my son realises he is wierd and I was lucky he was just hitting me on occasion and not coming at me with knives !!! this i kind of found appauling

ive pretty much isolated myself from people , especially family in terms of my sons ASD/ADHD, if one more person says , "its becuase his father isnt around " or "Youve been too easy on him, leave him with me for a week and il whip him into shape " ...these are the kind of things ive had said to me more frequently than i care to mention, it makes me so mad. no one has a clue do they unless they live it

the school situation is a very very scary one, my son goes to a private school where there is only 15 in his class. It is not the norm to accept Special Needs Children but he is very intelligent ....so luckily pulls it off for now but I have heard horror stories about children being asked to leave so the school record isnt "hindered" as its quite renouned for getting scholarships for pupils to get to the next school. Its so expensive though and im scared as to how to pay for it, the fees have gone up to 1500 per term , its getting to the point where ill have to get rid of the car soon but I know He would be eaten alive in a big class , he cant really cope with new teachers or new pupils and luckily has had the same class since he was 3.5 so he knows them and they know him. I think special needs schooling in my area is seemed as somehow lower class problem and no one seems to want to access help or resources. Ive tried all year to find out how I can access special help for him but seem to come up against closed doors all the time.

my son despises toothpaste, the mere mention of toothpaste or brushing causes tears , its really hard, i have had friends in america send me over every tupe of toothpaste as they have a ton of differnt flavours over there, including lemon and grape ..the thing is with my son is he hates it so much he retches and wont go near any of them now, its so hard....ive tried everything

my son was diagnosed in jan, he didnt recieve any follow up appointment until i rang and badgered them into giving me one, i couldnt beleive they had given me the news then left me to deal with it without any further information, they gave me a reading list of very technical books that i couldnt get my head around. I have since asked for another appointment and always raise loads of questions and never seem to get very far, its very fustrating