Bard

Google them, there's a website with lots of information. B's school offers them too, and the content looks good, varied and useful.

I'd love to pack a picnic for three or four, so give me a list of what you'd like and I'll come up with the goods. I LOVE making up picnic baskets, with all the little bits and bobs. Or should I just read the picnic chapter from Wind in the Willows? ' coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrenchrollscresssandwichespottedmea tgingerbeerlemonadesodawater...'

I have to hand in my planning folder every week, as do we all. It's checked and signed and comments are made by the head, deputy or subject co-ordinator. We have an agreed format for lesson plans, have to have medium and weekly done, with three levels of differentiation for every lesson, and indicating where you have provided for specific SEN and EAL. You plan how I used to, ten years ago, and I wish I was still allowed to do it that way!

At least you're thin enough to be stuffed into a teapot, I'd have to audition for one of the Tweedle brothers.

I love your new avatar, I've always thought of myself as the White Queen.

Well, it's a better answer than mine, which is getting through the term with comfort eating and chocolate, and getting through the holidays with comfort eating, chocolate and rum. And doing all my planning and marking between 12 and 3am.

That's what mum and I did with B from him being around 4, because he loved to run. We gave him markers, made it into a game, " You can run to the next lamp post" "You can run to the oak tree" " Go to the next kerb" If he was clever enough to do it and wait, he got praised and allowed to continue. If he didn't keep the rules, then he had to hold hands or have a wrist strap. It worked very well, a step at a time, consistency about the language used, pointing out kerbs, crossing places, driveways. Around 8, he was allowed to go on ahead to a visible point and wait, sometimes 100 yards or so, now he's 13 he walks to and from school, goes up to town with me and I'll say 'I've got to go to X, do you want to come or wait?' and he'll wait in the same place and not wander off. Or he'll say ' I want to go to X ' and I'll arrange a meeting place 30 minutes later and he'll be there. Far in the distant future for you, but the training and expectations we built into him from being 3 or 4 have built up into a trustworthy relationship and a boy that can cope with Brighton and London traffic without getting squashed. My mum reckons that boys and spaniels are very similar when needing training!

We lock the doors too, it's part of keeping the children and the staff safe, along with ensuring that the school boundaries are hard to breech. Parents can ring up and ask to see a teacher at any time, and then we work out when it's possible. Always within the week, usually within the next couple of days. If a teacher's classroom door is shut, that means private, or we can use one of the offices. At parents' evenings and when report writing, yes you can mention problematic issues, but there must always be either a positive or a way forwards. That's school policy, and one we all agree with. You never leave any family, parent or child despairing that there is no possible hope or light in the future. Why would anyone do that? I don't understand teachers who fail to see the connection between a happy child, a good parental relationship with the school and having an easier class to teach. If you get things right, and fix problems before they grow, then it's more loving and more efficient. You don't have as many meltdowns or fights or out-of-control behaviour if you understand and try and preempt situations. Why would you not want to listen to parents give reasons and explanations? We are also flexible in our approach, if something doesn't work after a reasonable period, then we look at alternatives, all sorts of alternatives, including ones that we've not tried before. We aren't progressive, we're traditional in that the child's needs come first. My school is part of a support group of local schools that work the same way, and we meet termly to compare and learn from each other. Each meeting has a particular focus. This is now my 23rd year, I've taught in a large number of schools and I've never had to put up with the sort of horrible negativity, disregard for parents, dislike of children and general nastiness that so many of you have had to put up with. I couldn't bear to work in a school like the ones you are describing, I'd have left a long time ago. There are good schools and good teachers out there, and a lot of them. And if they can do it, then the rest have little excuse for not even trying to provide a better, individual and proactive service.

Your post had echoes of mine a few weeks ago! Especially the first line. Fantastic for Ben, well done to him for getting over that hurdle because like B, once he's done it, he knows that it's possible. A whole new world to explore. And I bet like me that you slept with the mobile glued to your ear and cat-napped the entire time he was away! B phoned me a dozen times on the Saturday he was away, and once on the Sunday. I thought he'd lost the phone, but he was having so much fun he forgot that he owned one. <'> to you for allowing your boy to fly solo, it took a lot of trust and courage on your part as well.

I disagree! Do you want me to email you sections of the detailed target sheets I write every term, and review for all children in my class? Or should I merely videotape all the little meetings called by parents or myself to discuss where things are going wobbly and how we can fix the wheel before it comes off? I'm sorry you had such a sh*tty time at school C, but I've never been, nor ever will be that sort of teacher. And neither are the numerous teachers that I call friends. But the only thing that might change your mind is having a year's secondment to my school. Well, maybe not change your mind, but force you to search for a less sweeping viewpoint of all teachers in all schools on every planet that ever existed. <'> I wish I'd been your teacher. I'm serious.

You come and dump whatever you like, some of us know exactly what you mean, and those that don't can sympathise anyway. <'> It is hard when you have other things you need or have to do, when you find it hard to concentrate because your mind keeps wandering off to have a little panic on its own. I hope that your mother heals well and recovers soon, and stays positive. My dad has finally decided that he might as well live, and he's swearing a little less now. He's even managing small walks of a couple of minutes. I'm worried that B is beginning to kick off at school because of all the disruption and worry with his grandfather being ill. He's apparently been rude to a teacher and is beginning to over-react to others again. Krakatoa is rumbling...

My daughter is NT and Pratchett obsessive, I'm a fan too. I liked the Watch trilogy and the Witches, followed by Death. We even went to the Discworld Convention two years ago when she was 15. It was a weekend somewhere in the Midlands with role play, Thud competitions, talks and dancing courtesy of the Feegles. And many of us wore costumes. She was Quoth.

Oh yes! I've had kicking and screaming in the Supermarket, carried children home on my shoulder whilst they flailed and yelled, got kicked out of a bookshop in Oxford that I had an account at for a decade. I've had to replace woodwork, door panels and pictures, And that was with my NT daughter.

We have a portable naughty step, especially for hev.

Oh, hev, you sound like so many of the parents I've met over the years. God, I feel old! Yes I'm soft. I love them and hug them and cuddle them, tell them how special and lovely and fabulous they are. Put many aspects of my life on hold to drive them places, pay for activities, listen to them when I'd rather be in the bath or asleep. I still spend a huge amount of time doing stuff for and with them, hence me posting around 3am a few nights ago. Both of mine are lovely, obedient, non-nagging teenagers. They keep my house rules and never make more than a token protest, if anything. They are reliable, polite, don't swear or kick small fluffy animals. I've always had rules. I've always been fair. Mean and bossy sometimes, but fair. I have always been consistent. No is an absolute refusal, yes is a promise and promises don't get broken, I'll see what I can do means exactly that. <'> If she has a set bedtime, then that's what it is. If it's no dessert until you've eaten x, then that's what happens. Or don't make the rule. Either one thing or the other, but be decisive and stick to it. Yes, it's hard work, but each time it gets microscopically easier, and after a decade you have a teenager who is a decent member of the human race.

Well, I didn't think of AS until he was 8 and a bit, but his dx came very quickly after that. We had been tracking his behaviour for a year or so, but we both thought he was just immature and naughty at school. In my pathetic defence, he has no other comorbids, my daughter is not exactly average and I'm sure that my OH is undx AS. So many things that seemed normal to us were not concerns, and our home environment supported his AS needs without anyone recognising why. I was relieved to get a dx, because all sorts of things suddenly made more sense.

I rewarded my daughter with �5 for every A*, but my father made the same promise without me knowing...so she collected �80, and next year it's A levels. I get paid for doing my job well, I don't have any worries or doubts about rewarding my children for doing their 'jobs' well too.

Oh, I forgot to add that B can also be fined! He gets a warning, then another warning, then a fine. The last time was 10p per smelly boy sock found left lying around the house anywhere except the laundry basket. He hates banks, he's got around �130 in a carved and inlaid box under his bed, and he is sometimes to be found gloating over his hoard in the semi-darkness of his bedroom, counting the stacks and trading copper for silver and silver for pounds. He's not as keen on paper money, though he likes the colour of the twenties! Sometimes he spends money on lego or playmobil, but mostly it sits in the box.

Until she got a job at 15, G used to get �5 a week, and �10 topup on her mobile. Now she gets nothing, but I do have a pot in the kitchen with pound coins in that she can dip into for lunches, it's usually got about �20-25 in it. She gets a clothing binge every 6 months as well, I give her �50 towards that. B at 13 gets �3, but he has a running bet with my mother that started around this time last year. Every week he gets to Friday with no incidents at school (You all know what I mean!) he wins the bet of �2. So he usually makes �5. We also treat ourselves if we go somewhere, current obsession is bookmarks, one per location!.

Just finished reviewing my 8 IEPs and annotating them with evidence, so bed is sounding pretty good. B goes around 9.30pm, G is around 11ish. I try and get to bed before 1am, but if I have to bring work home with me, I don't do it whilst the children are awake because I'd rather spend my time with them. And G needs the boy-free time to share with me. She's a very low key and undemanding daughter, but she needs to be special sometimes, considering how much time B can absorb and how very physically present he is all the time! So, how much sleep in this time slot? I'll be up by 7am and at work by 8. 4 hours then.

Frangi, I have specific bedtimes, curfews, rules on communication and how to live in a shared house. It's just the idea that I should treat my girl and boy differently that I found amusing. It's the sort of concept that my father would understand, but the boundaries are, and will be the same for both of my children. It's the chronological age and emotional maturity that I take into consideration, not their sex.

? I thought I was retro!

I was thinking along the lines of a Mel-sized sack, and a bit of scrobbling. Then I'd post you to Pearl.

wait til you've got children of your very own. Your thinking gets much faster, if not more truthful! Children often never think that anything bad will ever happen to them, or if it does, then they will be able to kung fu the enemy like in the movies. So you have to be able to give them clear, good reasons that make sense.

It's not the kids that you really need to worry about, it's their parents with the cricket bats in one hand and a complaint in the other. I even have to be careful about Father Christmas and the Tooth fairy.