llisa32

Yeyyyy!! - those that have been following the saga will recall how much difficulty J has has in settling into Year 3, and with 'writing' in any shape or form!. But...the change of form class since xmas has still been going well and today....... he got a headmasters token plus housepoints for a POEM!!! He didn't tell me mind you......I saw the token on his shirt when I helped him take his jumper off! Dead pleased for him and I can tell he's secretly chuffed

Great news you've got some positive progress, it makes things feel so much better when people start understanding and actually helping - hope it continues to go well <'>

Thanks guys, it's weird that a bit of progress can make yu happy isn't it? ...I've actually been quite chirpy today now, and almost relieved a little cos I now have at least in black and white on several diff reports exactly what his difficulties are and how best we should support him etc. So although the last 9 months have been completely knackering, and I currently feel like rubbish in terms of health (seem to have a viral lurgy thingy that doesn't want to leave me!!) at least I can now see some progress in the right direction. Thanks for your thoughts <'> And a big thanks to everyone on the forum actually - you lot have kept me sane (sorta ) lately <'>

Hi - My Ed Psch who works for the local council came out for a home visit first, and then followed up with a visit in school afterwards. If you are able to phone/email the Psch's office I think you should be able to request a home visit as a matter of urgency. I think they should be working with you to get your son back into school. Hope this helps <'>

Hi, We're due back at Cahms mid month for hopefully a 'formal' diagnosis as all the relevant reports from the SALT and ED psch will be in by then. But..just got the ADOS and DISCO report summary today and it said based on those assessments J meets the criteria for a High Functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder. It also goes on to say this is largly because of the mixed developmental milestones they got from me!! - told you my memory was rubbish!! But...I'm pleased with the report, and the Ed Psch has been an absolute gem in terms of helping J and helping the school to understand him - she did her second follow up with him on Monday and has promised to get her final report into Cahms in good time for our appt. The Ed psch firmly thinks the diagnosis should be aspergers but she said many psychiatrists are relectant to 'diagnose' - she gave me the name of a local Pead should I want to follow up after the Cahms appt (depending on how that goes). But...being as they have 'started' a diagnosis, I feel quite hopefully we will get one, and then we can carry on getting the right support in place etc.

Hi Mumble <'> Can't believe the lazy so an so can't be bothered to do anything for months and then tells you you're too expensive!! Where's the money going?? gold plated cups of tea and belgium chocs for her?? - unbelievable!! I think you need to escalate to her manager if you know who that is, and make sure you cc your tut and yr sup If you need someone to call her or act on yr behalf I am well up for it! Let the battle commence! And don't whatever you do think this has anything to do with you being 'not worthy' or being a burden etc - you are not...you are simply asking to have your needs met - as agreed by those that should know. It is really not her place to question any of that, if she hasn't got enough money thats not yr problem - it's hers!! I have every admiration for the way you keep going to be honest <'> you are faced with muppets like this on a pretty regular basis lately, yet you move forward and carry on - so huge well done! <'> Don't let the muppets win!

Hi Clare - I would say something if it were me...in fact I have had to say to the Ed Psch the same thing. J's 'gets himself ready' to meet her at a certain time...if times then get changed at last minute without a seemingly good excuse (like car broke down - anything dramatic would class as 'proper excuse ..then he gets really frustrated and ansgty. I just said 'J gets really anxious when times of meetings/appts are changed at the last minute - If you're able to give me as much notice as possible of any changes then that will help me prepare him' It's worked and now she will ring ahead even if going to be 10/15 mins late. Same with playdates etc....if they are planned I have to explain to the mum thats it's really important they let me know of any changes to times etc as soon as they can, and in advance of any meetings/appts etc I remain J that sometimes things happen that other peeps can't control and that might make them late/change plans etc. Hope that helps <'>

Hiya - I really doubt that you've done anything 'awful' at all. I know she's not been that much help thus far, and it may simply be that she does not know how best to help you and wants to get a meeting to discuss that. After the many discussions we've had concerning said person I really cannot think of a single instance where you could have been interpreted as being offensive, or upsetting. And if good guy doesn't know either then it really cannot be anything worth over worrying about And point to remember is that you have cc'd both your tut and sup on (as far as I know) practically all your comms with said person - if you'd said anything untoward I'm sure one of them would have told you at the time. <'>

Thanks all for the replies <'> I did sent a rather 'to the point' note into the headmaster on Wednesday espressing my 'confusion' as to why no one had time to copy his maths out for him in a class so small, and that I felt they were hindering his progress by not following the IEP. Today J says the teacher asked him if he'd like his sums written out for him, and he got some help with how to do them! I haven't yet had a reply to my note but it would seem my 'message' got to the right place! I spoke with the Ed Psch yesterday and she is requesting access to the test papers

Yep - and I spoke to the Ed Psch today and apprently they are allowed to not let me see them! I'm pretty stunned to be honest But...she does want to see them and is going to request them when she goes in next week - she'll then update me afterwards I feel like I'm being the worlds most pesky mum at moment - christ knows what they are all saying bout me behind my back!

oooo...yes please.....I wanna play!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH And today was more ... so then I got And now I am just having a nother cup of tea so will feel a bit more I feel much better now too! - Thanks Mumble! <'>

Hiya - just wondered if any of you can let me know, or point me in the direction of any websites?? I really want to see the school test papers that J took before Xmas - he's 8. They've been marked, and now I would like to review the types of questions etc that he struggled with so that with the Ed pychs help we can work out how best to help him going fwd. School currently refusing to let me see them - can they actually just do that??

Glad you had a much better day Clare <'> I can imagine how you are feeling and it does make all the difference even when you get one professional finally 'getting it' - your mentor sounds lovely hope things continue to improve <'>

Arggghhhhhhhhhhh.........apologies in advance, I'm being a not so great at helping others with advice at the moment as struggling to remain in a 'state of calm'..to add to my current frustrations re ''waiting in limbo now' for the diagnosis appt in feb we had a parents evening tonight. We had fantastic reviews from French and Science and Technology!! , and they were great to hear...J even asked for more writing in french lesson!! - even the teacher was stunned cos she knows how much trouble he's been having in other lessons with writing. Then moved onto Maths which is with his old form teacher...he's in top set maths, and his IEp states that teachres should not be expecting him to copy work down from a board, and that sums etc should be written down for him. J had let slip ealrier today that he'd only done 3 sums in maths today - I asked him how comes and he said that was all I could copy down and do. he said the teacher doesn't copy down for him anymore. So went into the classroom tonight and the entire whiteboard at the front of the class was covered...and I mean covered with sums. Teacher said when questioned...'well....I don't really have time to copy down for him...maybe if I had someone to help me I could!! - she's got 12 flippin kids in her class!!! - how difficult can it be to prepare a handout!!! Also had a bit of a barny with dep head who point blank refused to let me have copies of the tests they took before xmas (the ones where marks were awful) ....I wanted to see them so we could get a better idea of what questions phase him...she said no way ....in the end she agreed the ed psch could see them in school! I am now thinking of waiting to see how ed psch gets on on monday and then just going straight to the head and demand they address this maths issue - especially as he was one of the people adamanent wen J changed classes that he remained in top set maths! - but if he's unable to produce any written evidence of knowledge etc how will they ever know, and he certainly failed the exam before xmas. Phew!!...thats me done - apologies for the rant...just needed to get it out!

Hi - in amongst the chaos thats been my week J really enjoyed a particular science lesson and has decided that he wants to try and grow an apple tree from apple seeds! So...we googled it up and it seems possible (although not great odds, so the more apples we all eat this weekend and save the seeds for planting the better!) But...just trying to manage expectations....have any of you ever managed to grow one?? Even an ickle one??

ooooooo it is exciting!!! Fantastic news and I am sooo chuffed for all of you!! You must be doing the proud mum dance round the sofa!

Thought I'd resurface this as I got the results of the tests that J took before Xmas. So no one made any concessions for him, he got the same amount of time as everyone else, and in the same room as everyone else, and guess what?? results are wayy below the average of the rest of the class. So...given that it's now been confirmed he has auditory processing problems and trouble with handwriting (waiting for OT assess) and that his actual IQ is above average I think we now have a good case for requesting he has assistance for any future tests/exams. Which is what I'll push for - I'm not even going to bother discussing the results of these with J

Thats fantastic Mel!! Well done both of you I hope it continues and his confidence grows further <'>

Thanks both <'> I think I've just realised why he does something else that had been puzzling me... If someone is visiting the house, or he's waiting for someone to turn up he will literally sit and wait until they turn up - no matter if it is in 5 mins time or 5 hours time. He won't go play with his xbox etc or do anything...cept wait.....because he says 'he needs to be 'ready'. Now I guess if he struggles so much with how long in real terms 5 mins or an hour actually is then he never really knows when someone will turn up....and he doesn't like to be interupted and thus will wait! Mind you.....I have not much clue how to help him with that...but least I think I know why!

Hi, J's been a little 'out of sorts' this week and haven't yet managed to work out whats upsetting him - he's been really tired and quick to lose patience all week (quicker than normal Tonight when i picked him up from school I asked him to go and get his games bag for me from the changing rooms and wait there and I was just going to have a quick chat with one of his teachers who'd written a positive note in the home/school diary earlier in the week. I musta been talking for less than five minutes when j came into the class and started hitting me because he'd been 'waiting' and then proceeded to get on the floor and grab my legs and attempt to bite me! He then got an audience of 2 other boys which me and the teacher got rid off, I knew I needed to get him in the car before properly telling him that was sooo not acceptable etc otherwise we'd never have got to the car cos he would have run off if I'd told him off big time in front of teacher and kids. In the car he was left in no doubt about why that was not acceptable, and I said to him it was 'awful behaviour' - he then said 'well I'm an awful kid!'....I have never ever said anything like that to him - ie, never ever called him awful, or bad etc...so that must have been his own summary of himself - that quite upset me that he thinks like that . I made it clear that I did not think 'He' was awful....but that the behaviour of trying to bite and hit me was. He apologised in the car and I eventually got out of him the reason he got so cross was because where he was waiting for me was busy and people kept bumping into him - I never knew he found that an issue in school. He also said that '5 minutes is like 5 hours for kids'! - I know he has trouble with the concept of time, and he is really bad and being able to tell 5 minutes in terms of waitring time from an hour etc. He's still not been able to put into words exactly how or why he got so cross, and why he couldn't just come in and say 'mum, hurry up please' or something like that. He's lost TV time tonight now but has accepted that and is happily playing with some toys he hasn't dug out for ages. But I have noticed that he is never able to express in words feelings like anger/sadness/frustration etc and those are the times he will hit instead. Do any of you have the same trouble, and what do you do to help them express themselves? I tried using a 'chart' tonight that the ed psch suggested - ie, scale of 1 - 10, 1 being not angry at all, 10 being very angry etc, and that at least got him to tell me he was angry. Sorry I've waffled a bit - any suggestions gratefully accepted!

Hiya <'> Really sorry you had such a rotten evening, I'm guessing the noise and crowding etc affected you so badly today because you were really tired and have had a really hectic few days. Don't feel guilty about your supervisor needing to help you, he always sounds like a nice guy and I'm sure he was probably just glad to be able to help a little. I think the suggestion of trying to sit near the door for future events is a good one, that or the loo's! - woman never look suspicious running off to the loo in a pub - 2 cokes and I'm back and forth like a yoyo (or maybe thats me age?? . London can be a fantastic place as we both agreed last week, but unfortunately due to its size and general 'business' it can also end up being somewhere where you can feel quite alone - it's true and a sad fact of how peeps live today that a lot of people are unwilling to stop and ask if someones ok, or needs help - only because they fear the response...it's definately not personal <'> The card idea is maybe a good one or perhaps it's worth dropping an email to london underground when you're feeling a little better later this week and explaining that sometimes you may get into a panic about getting home and be too upset to explain yourself and ask what they recomend? - maybe your awareness bracelet may be of some use?? - not sure. But it's probably worth seeing if they do respond and can recomend an approach so that if it ever happens again it will hopefully be a little easier to cope with. You've done great the last few months, don't let this knock your confidence. You were just worn out, and it all got too much. I hope your headache is subsiding a little and that you've managed to go get a cup of tea or something sweet <'> Take care <'>

Thanks all for your replies <'> it was definately a frustrating appt and I'm still stewing over it I think. I'd thought that it would cover the conversational difficulties he has, and the trouble with expressing his own thoughts and emotions into words but nothing I saw yesterday touched on those aspects. I'd been told the appt was to check expressive and receptive language....I didn't see anything yesterday that would have indicated either of those areas. He's been in either small nursery or small school since he was a baby, and he's been bright enough to ask me or someone else for the last year or two everytime he doesn't understand a 'phrase' etc. He's very literal, but she couldn't seen to decide if he was 'pretending' to give her the literal interpretation yestredayt because on one occasion he'd told her he was 'tricking her with his answer' - but she'd been telling him she'd been trying to trick him with her questions!! - so what did she expect! I just found it really frustrating and particularly odd that the Ed Psch could be so far definately one way on the scale and the SALT ending up a wishy washy kind of 'sitting on the fence' opinion. It made me feel that she made generalisations that she perhaps might not have done, had she had more experience. I think I'm going to follow up with a letter on Monday and send a copy to all involved just highligting my thoughts about what the assessment covered and why I didn't think it was very useful.

Hiya - J had his assessment today with the speech and language therapist . It was a horrible long drive through tons of traffic and rotten roads to get there and I feel like it was a waste of time The therapist was really nice, but I felt the assessment questions were totally not age appropriate. She took another history (bout the 5th one I've done so far!) and J was in the room while she did this - which made it quite difficult for me to get overly descriptive and he kept interupting. When he was given the option of leaving the room he wouldn't - so we continued with him there. The assessment work she did with him contained a lot of using phrases and deducing actions from pictures. The phrases were all for the most part ones that have cropped up and thus we've explained and he understands, and the sceraios that the pictures were based on were also fairly mundane everyday stuff that has most definately cropped up - and therefore he had the 'experience' to make an educated guess. J will always asl me when he hears a new phrase or new word if he doesn't understand them. At the end she concluded that she could see 'traits' of AS and that he definately has problems with auditory memory. I guess I feel like it was a waste of time because we already know he has problems with auditory processing and I thought she would look at more detil re conversation 'flow' or lack of etc. I feel now that this report will be neither one thing or the other - and have no idea how it will 'fit' into all the other reports. We're due to get a diagnosis mid feb, and I don't really feel that today will add anything of value, and I'm a little worried I guess that it might hold some weight 'against' giving a diagnosis. I know the Ed Psch quite firmly thinks AS, and I think the ADOS scores suggested AS - just not sure how it all gets 'put together' and on what they base a diagnosis. Hope all of this has made sense - apologies I'm waffling a little! - just had to get it out! Oh...and forgot to add....she kept going on and on about how J made 'lovely' eye contact with me, and then i kept feeling compelled to say 'yes....he always has done with me...but have u noticed not so much for you!?'

Well done Mumble!! You really are having a good week!

And Baggy....if you move in with her and you have any 'laughter' lines. ....then with her new super specs she might also give you a 'term of affection' 'pet name' and call you a 'Rhino' too! Naughty Mumble I equally had a really good couple of days - had a great day in South based office, then brekkie and bloke spotting the following morning with the cheeky Mumble Got home and hubby and sprog had both missed me! - had flowers from hubby and hugs from J And J's very happy this morning as he's getting the day off skool tomorrow for his speech and lang assessment !