Stella63

I suffer bigtime with neck and shoulder tension as well. I do have a brilliant physio who I try and see for a massage but like always its difficult escaping from the house!! Having said that my DH bought me a voucher for my birthday - an hour in a flotation tank followed by a hot stone massage and yesterday I ESCAPED for 2 whole hours and it was bliss!! The flotation was weird and I will definitely go again now knowing what to expect. I found it quite difficult to relax but eventually got my body into a totally relaxed state but couldn't switch off mentally. The hot stone masage was divine!!! Highly recomended!!!! Trouble is you have to go home!!! Stella xx

Thank you all!!! I broadcast OJ's singing because it is the one thing that keeps him going - on the face of it he seems to be coping with secondary school but he is finding the social aspects really hard and the days when he comes home crying because he has tried so hard to be included within a group and failed - it is totally heartbreaking as a parent to MAKE other kids include him cos you just can't do that!!! But, when he gets on the stage he just pours his heart out, no visible tics, and he is GOOD!!!! And I know that from all the feedback he gets (not just a mum who loves her boy!!!). He also has to put with his older brother continually stealing his things, getting into trouble and generally causing stress and unhappiness on the family. So, if inspite of all the problems he can get up and sing in front of 500 people, he is a winner!!!! and I thank all of you for listening and caring (and a special one for Clare who has actually heard him sing live!!) Thank you Stella xxxxx ps Thank you Bid for being clever and able to set up a link!!!

No answers Bluefish but will watch this space as OJ bites his nails and fingers into an awful mess - he then can't cope with the pain that he is in as a result!!! Frequent demands for plasters to cover up the offending problem!!! Stella xx

Hi Lizk, An interesting question and one that I think about with both my kids. AJ was always completely obsessed with whatever game he played to the point of complete anger and loss of self control. He smashed game boys, playstation controllers, computer screens etc - there was something in him that could not let a game get the better of him. It was better when he started playing World of Warcraft online because there were no levels as such and therefore less pressure but he would then get angry if the internet slowed down and he did become obsessed with playing the game (and I have heard the game likened to a cocaine addiction). At the time I felt he was safer inside on the computer because I could envisage what he would be like outside with his personality and I have been proved right because about 18mths ago he dropped the computer, started going out and is now completely off the rails with a bunch of losers - drugs, motorbikes, school refusal, stealing, lying, you name it!!! OJ, on the other hand, has a Wii, Xbox360, PS2, Nintendo 64, Gamecube, computer (playing World of Warcraft), did have a DS but was stolen by brother, and he doesn't have that obsessiveness about particular games (even though he is the one with OCD!!!) he goes from one thing to another and never fixates on one console or game. I think it really is down to their personality and it is important to limit playing time and be aware of their own limitations about playing games. Don't know if that helps!! Stella xx

My little star has done it again!!! It was the Spring concert at school last night and he did an absolutely blinding performance of Danny boy - which is one of those songs that gets you, let alone when its your son!!! I've uploaded it to Youtube and it can be accessed through OJ's channel - josephmyst3r - (I don't know how to do links and I wish someone would show me how!!!). Apparently it takes quite a while for it to show in a general search. If you get a moment, have a look - he is just so gorgeous!!! Not that I am biased at all!! Stella x

My DH is really into old tins - like tobacco or biscuit tins which he buys at car boots and sells at antique fairs or on Ebay. A few years ago he found an old train tin, missing its lid and he felt sure it was valuable. He took it to a dealer (of tins!) who gave him �500 for it!!!! He's not had such a good find since but he always makes a profit on stuff he buys - he does have his uses!!! Stella xx

I don't actually possess any shoes!!! I will qualify that by saying I have 4 pairs of ankle boots and 4 pairs of sandals (plus a few sparkly flip flops and a pair of wellies!) and I jump from boots to sandals and vice versa which is not always easy in our inclement country!! Oh, and once I've made the jump from one to the other there is no going back - and I'm supposed to be the sane one in our family!!!! Stella x

Hi Tally, I have never heard the expression in the work place before but my immediate thought was that it may be similar to 'coasting' - kind of sliding along without doing anything more than you're supposed to do or possibly even doing less. But I guess it depends what the job is and whether the person is expected to just do what they are told to do or use initiative and do a bit more. Don't know whether that makes sense or not! Stella x

Got the letter yesterday. not got through but tried to tell him he will have a better chance once his voice breaks. The lad who nearly won last year, the choir boy will always be remembered as the choir boy, whereas if he can get through with his mature voice, when it happens, there will be more openings for him. all he wants is to be in the West End musicals. However, I know he is really upset by it, but he is singing Danny Boy in the school concert in a few weeks and it makes me cry when I hear him practice!! He will make it if he wants to!! Stella xxx

Well, Chinese tonight. OJ had his breaded chicken and chicken balls wrapped in pancakes (the ones you normally wrap duck in) with egg fried rice (and that is a new addition to his diet!!) and we had a nice bowl of soup and spare ribs with chillis ...... hot!!!! Lovely dinner!!! Stella xx

Hi Sarah, I have OJ, who has AS and Tourettes and OCD, he is under St. Georges Hospital for his Tourettes and is now on Prozac for the OCD. Life is hard at school for him depending which tics he he has - the jaw cracking was the most painful! At the moment he is getting more vocal tics and I have been told that because of the hormonal age he is, this may get worse for the next year or so. It is really hard dealing with his issues and he is quite depressed (and I use that term loosely as I don't have any personal experience with depression). Anyway, glad you're on board!! Stella xx

Oh Sciencegeek, Just had to say OJ has a cd of John Barrowman and the one track he plays over and over and over...........again is his version of Time After Time!!! Stella xx

Hi, Our experience with Prozac has been pretty much good. OJ was prescribed 2 years ago to help with all the anxieties he experiences with OCD, Tourettes and AS. He has had no side effects and when he doesn't take it for a few days (holidays etc) I am aware that he gets louder (volume wise) and more out of control. However he is still very anxious and prone to what I take to be depression. Mind you having to deal with all the everyday school issues he also has the brother from hell and that is having a huge impact on him psychologically. Not sure where I am going with this but all I can say is it has not been a bad drug for him. Stella x

Hi, Bid, don't worry, nothing will offend me!! The answer is yes, we have considered it but because he is 16 it seems to become more difficult as no one wants to take on the responsibility! Maybe on the positive side we have a new Social Worker, just found out that ours had gone on long term sick leave (again) and thats why nothing has been done. Meeting with new one tomorrow and she has already arranged to take AJ to one of their worst hostels to try and give him a shock! Jsmum, no I don't think anything got mentioned like that in court but I leave the courts and police station things up to my DH to deal with - I feel that I deal with every other aspect of both the boys needs but I really don't want to do that - so AJ was in court today for breach of his supervision order and was given a new one for 1 month - I don't see that he is being taught anything from that but DH was concerned that he will be back in court shortly for the second possession offence and felt that it was ok. Not so sure myself but we have to present a united front and there are a few cracks at the moment. And in answer to your other question, I had my credit card stopped and am waiting for replacement but discovered today that he took my debit card last night and took out �120. I guard my purse all the time so he was extremely calculating and devious to have managed to take it. He reckons he has now paid back all his debts and is going to now look at changing his life. Mmmmm like I really believe that!! Not sure yet how to deal with it as I feel so low and kicked in the teeth by him. I hate him for what he is doing to us but he is my son and I love him. and to top it all, went out with my fellow LSA's last night, had far too much vodka, cried all evening and have the hangover from hell today!! Ouch!! Stella xx

Hi, Thanks everyone for your support - again - It really does help me feel I'm not dealing with this alone!! Suze, the police have been very supportive and we have a really good relationship with the local police - but a bit like SS, they promised last November that they would arrange a day at a local prison and also a Outward Bound type weekend activity for AJ but nothing has happened and I know a lot of it is down to resources etc but just a phone call would be good to say sorry it can't be done! I have left several messages for the local PC to phone, or one of the PCSO's who patrol the locality because I want to discuss who AJ is hanging around with and we had agreed in the Autumn to work together to plug the drugs problem and I feel that they are letting us down. Oh and I discovered he stole my credit card sometime in the last week, had somehow seen me put my pin number in somewhere and withdrew �140. He came clean when I explained the Fraud squad would know which ATM it was, what time and would then look at CCTV. But other than saying sorry, no remorse, said he chucked the card away - thankfully no more transactions as had a huge amount of credit on it. Stella xx

Well, for those of you who have followed the saga of our eldest son, we have once again been suspicious of his activities - he had assured us he was not dealing or using and not bringing anything into the house - and we have been doing daily searches and not finding anything. But he has still been stealing - took OJ's spare Xbox controller. Anyway, decided a lateral approach to his bedroom and decided to look under mattress!!! Bingo, tin with a bag of pot - we left it there to monitor and saw three different amounts go in and out within a 24 hour period - last wednesday there was a large bag of pot in the tin so decided to call police. Police took it away and we then had to tell him what we had done, he went off on one, we called 999 and he decided to calm down which is better than the previous behaviours we have seen!! AJ spent saturday at the police station and has been bailed, he has been quite contrite since but telling us that he is not dealing he has a drug problem and it was all for him - which I don't believe - he has spoken to his drugs misuse councellor who he has to see through Youth Justice and I don't think he is convincing her either! He has also breached his Supervision Order by refusing to attend anger management sessions and is back in court on wednesday to face further charges for that so things are not going well in his world and hopefully with this arrest he may begin to realise that he can't continue in this little bubble he has created. He knows that we will not tolerate the drugs and we have made it very black and white what will happen and continue to happen. SS have not even bothered to phone me after I left a message advising what had happened - so no change there then!!! I'm actually feeling in control over what is happening although it is having a really negative effect on OJ (will write that in another thread) - the Youth Justice are brilliant and feel that the longer he is under their jurisdiction the more chance they have of getting him sorted before he hits 18 and falls under the adult system. Please tell me I am doing the right thing..... Stella xx

Hi Lisa, Does he have Tourettes? I know that tics can fall in to the whole ASD spectrum and they have to be constant, although changing, to get a dx of Tourettes. OJ is nearly 13 and at the last appointment with the Tourettes clinic they said that the next year will probably be the worst because of the hormonal changes that are taking place so even if it is not 'proper' Tourettes I would agree that hormones do have an effect. As to strategies, I could write a book about them!!! It depends which specific tic OJ is having trouble with as some cause him severe muscular pain, due to having to make a particular movement hundreds of times a day! The worst one was the jaw cracking and we did find thst chewing gum helped alleviate it - the only boy in school with a written note from SENCO allowing him to chew gum in class!! At the moment his tics are tending to be vocal rather than physical and this embarrases him at times especially with the not so sympathetic, understanding kids and in some cases, teachers! Oh and like the boy that Pookie mentioned when OJ is singing he hardly tics at all!! Hope this helps Stella xx

The person above believed that their imaginery childhood friend, Paris Hilton, was infact a reincarnation of an archaelogist called Betty Rubble.

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Hi We used to have this all the time with OJ - the thing that works with him is to wind an imaginery volume control button with my hand - he has learnt what that means and will then quieten down his voice! Stella x

That's excellent, Dianne!! OJ is at a mainstream secondary school and has been able to spot all the AS kids there and interestingly quite a few of them gravitate to each other and seem to share their own Theory of Mind!! Stella x

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Hey Mumble, those are OJ's boots!!!! Getting them out ready for tomorrow (along with my very nice autumn leaves boots!!!) It hasn't started here yet and OJ watched the weather and it said it would start at 6pm - oops, not an exact science then!! He's not happy but I have told him it will happen over night!! I can't wait!!! Stella xx

Hi Enid, Lots of <'> <'> <'> Haven't got the strength at moment to give you any thoughts or advice other than keep fighting the b******s cos what else can we do!! Stella xxx

Hi Donna, Something Different said what I'd been thinking to myself - like you there is little or no support or respite available, we have no family and friends don't always understand how it is - maybe we should look at a forum based respite service, depending on where we are located - the odd evening or afternoon or whatever where we could step in and help each other out. Just a thought cos I know I can't get away from it at all - OJ has all his OCD rituals at bedtime and it is really difficult asking someone to babysit who doesn't have the awareness that we have. Sorry, rambling now....... hope you're feeling less stressed... think <'> <'> and more and I will say on record that I am not a complete alcoholic, but it certainly does help at this time of night!!!! Stella xx