barefoot wend

Tez I think you should support your son and ask to present when he is disciplined. He was in a supposed 'safe zone' and it is the school's duty to ensure that it is maintained as a safe zone otherwise there is no point calling it this. 1) It should be supervised 2) It should be made very clear to all other students that if any trouble is caused in this area by 'outsiders' they will be seen as the perpetrators and punished accordingly. I can well understand that you are keen to not jeopardise a good relationship with the school and hopefully they will feel likewise and listen to your request. With any luck any punishment meted out to your son will be 'in name' only and the bullies will bear the brunt of remedial action. Good luck Barefoot

Kathryn Have you heard any feedback with regard to Tuesday's meeting? Barefoot

Mossgrove I'm sorry to hear of your shabby treatment by people who really ought to know better. I'm amazed at their 'sink or swim' attitude. Do they think that he will be fine? Madness. I hope you manage to get things sorted and that you find some support. Barefoot

Kathryn I was thinking about you in the night and really hoping everything goes well tomorrow. I've got a meeting with the Community Paediatrician tomorrow - they must have known it's my birthday - what a treat. I shall be keeping everything cossed for you and hoping to see you post some positive news. Best wishes Barefoot

Loulou I'm sorry things have been so difficult for you. It makes me angry when I discover that people have not been communicating with me about my son's problems - I always tell them they're compounding his communication problems by not communicating effectively themselves. I fear that parents can sometimes be seen as the enemy and make it very clear to all my son's teachers that I need to be kept fully informed as to my son's schooling in order that we can all work TOGETHER - not only for his benefit but theirs as well. Intervention early on can make a world of difference. The downside is that you do get to hear things that are sometimes exceptionally hurtful - but I think your post demonstrates how much worse it is to discover problems when it's too late to do anything about it. How can our children be expected to cope when we don't communicate properly? I hope things go better for you in the future. Barefoot

My son enjoyed his mainstream primary years even though we had a few hiccoughs. Generally, he had some very understanding teachers who tried very hard to help make things tolerable for him. He was respected by his peers and had a good group of classmates who understood his difficulties, many of whom genuinely liked him. He went on two residential school trips - one to the Isle of Wight for five days and one to France for six days. It says alot to the dedication of staff at the school that they did their utmost to include him and he felt safe with them. I think this boosted his self-esteem and independence. Secondary school has seen more difficulties with lots of different teaching staff with no clear policy as to how to best cater for his needs. He has not felt able to go on any school trips. I have considered the possibilty of pushing for a special school now that we are in the process of having him statemented but as his school are now trying very hard with specialist help from outside I feel more encouraged to give it another go. Further, as there are no specialist schools locally it would mean looking at a residential placement which I don't feel either he, or we, are quite ready for as he's only just 13. Barefoot

My son had a social use of language programme set up for him by the Ed Psych when he was in Year 5. It was organised by a Speech and Language Therapist and actually facilitated by one of the Ed Psych Assistants and teacher at his school. Prior to this, in Year 3, he had a Circle of Friends organised by a psychology student. They would involve a small group of other children - it always made me laugh as my son would say "They try to pretend it's for everyone but I know that really they're only doing it for me" I'd speak to you Ed Psych and ask them to organise one. Barefoot

Kathryn Very good luck with the meeting. Be tough. Regards Barefoot

Nellie This site doesn't print the whole article.. it goes on to quote teachers : "One day last week a seven year old in my class who has AS 'kicked off' non-stop from about 9.20 to 3.50 - biting, punching, scratching, spitting, hissing, growling, screaming, throwing, running at walls, trying to break glass in the door, etc. She's been excluded from two other schools, and her parents were not even asked to come and collect her. This week she's back in school. Can anyone explain that? "Can anyone offer suggestions on how to deal with the bizarre behavioour of a 12-yr old with severe AS.? He gets very angry very quickly and keeps shouting 'boring' and throwing things. He can't interact with the other pupils. I'm a newly qualified teacher and could use a little help." "Do a little research on AS" "I disagree. I wouldn't research anything to do with extreme special needs. I've never been trained for them. If we put up with this, inclusion will be here to stay." This is supposed to be balanced reporting on the lack of discipline in schools. It seems obvious that the first children to be excluded will most likely be those who have been forced into mainstream by the government's desire for inclusion. Barefoot

Mossgrove Unfortunately, I have to agree with you. My son may be one of those withdrawn if things go on as they are. Barefoot

Hi all I've just read an article in the Daily Telegraph about 'CLASSROOM CHAOS' It starts on about how ruth Kelly is going to be tough on indiscipline in the classroom and pursue a zero-tolerance approach to misbehaviour. I was already thinking that this goes against the government's policy of inclusion when I suddenly read teacher's comments taken from the TES website which go on to complain specifically about AS children. I'm disgusted!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have e-mailed the editor to complain. They certainly wouldn't highlight an article such as this with ethnic minorities as they would, rightly, be termed racist, so what gives them the right to do so with AS children? Barefoot

Hi all My son's AS is definitely hereditary. My Dad obviously had AS, I have a niece who is undx and a grandfather who also probably had AS. I also strongly empathise with my son, so I think there are probably traits in me - I was always called a 'crazy mixed up kid'. One of my other children shows signs of ADHD as do some of my sisters - is there a link? I have four children and my son's birth was definitely the most hellish though I've been told this can sometimes be the case as they don't help with the birthing process as other children do - who can blame them? If they knew how hard they'd have to work and how much little help they'd get from outsiders. It staggers me that there aren't more specialist schools to reflect the explosion in diagnosed cases. And, a quick rant, how come the government insist on education inclusion on the one hand and then declare that there will be a zero-tolerance policy towards misbehaviour in the classroom - my boy's out then! Thank goodness for wonderful parents like us. Barefoot

Kathryn This must be really difficult for you. I know when my son gets some sort of belief in his head there's no budging him - it's like he lacks any kind of perspective. If he reads a negative article about medication than that's it proved. As far as he's concerned MEDICATION IS BAD fullstop. We had a very long session with a very patient, and fortunately very unpatronising consultant who managed to persuade him otherwise - mainly concentrating on the exaggerations that papers make in order to sell more and the fact they 'need' to make a dramatic story of it or it isn't a story. After an hour or so he was persuaded. It might be worth a try, especially if your daughter thinks she's fairly media savvy. I now always point out the psychology behind advertising etc. and my son finds it very interesting and is more aware of it now than I am. I hope this helps and I hope you find a solution that suits you both. Best wishes Barefoot

loulou I'm really pleased for you - all your hard work has paid off big time! Many congratulations. Go celebrate! Barefoot

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Bevalee I'm really sorry to hear your news. They make things so difficult for all of us. Barefoot

I read in the papers about an online education service called Nisai Education but it seems to offer a service direct to LEAs for the online education of school refusals, etc. I certainly would be interested if our LEA were to subscribe. I think they have a website on http://www.supportit-uk.com Barefoot

Dear All I have lost count of the number of times my son has had detention for non-completion of homework! Barefoot

loulou All the very best for Friday! Barefoot

Bevalee Can certainly sympathise with your disappointment. Your son sounds not too dissimilar from my own and I am really struggling to think of appropriate educational setting. For what it's worth, it sounds like your right to hold out for specialist placement. Good luck Barefoot

Hello I've just completed application for stat. assessment. Don't reckon my chances as school have done very little to help. At least that means they won't be able to kick him out - facing a new school would be even more traumatic at the mo. Risperdal has certainly lessened outbursts, Concerta has certainly improved concentration. Hopefully, Dr. is right and Prozac will lift his spirits. Been on it 10 days and he does seem bit better. Fingers crossed. Really angry with school at the moment because son wouldn't hand in his English homework, even though he'd done it, because he thought everyone's was better than his, so they gave him detention. Detention was during lunch when rest of school were watching chemistry magic show that he'd really been looking forward to - he's been really down for ages. I asked if they couldn't re-schedule but they ignored request. They tell me they must give detentions so as not to be unfair on other pupils. Surely if all my other kids can understand then a bunch of fairly bright thirteen year olds can understand allowances should be made sometimes - they know he has a problem, he's always crying,etc. When I was at school we had a similar boy who was treated differently and it never bothered us as we could see he had issues. Sorry to moan. Nice to let it out. Thanks for support, Barefoot.

Hello Just to add to comments. My son (13) started Risperdal in Sept. We went, under instruction, from 1x0.5 to 3x0.5 in morning - consultant says he has some patients on 12x0.5!!!! I do think that their is a build-up of tolerance over time but we cerainly hope to stick at current dosage. However, I'm not averse to occasional extra 0.5 dose pm if behaviour dictates as consultant suggested. I certainly thinks it makes a positive difference but my son says that it just squashes all the badness out to last the whole day rather than him having flare-ups which seem to disappear quite quickly. Think I feel a little guilty. Barefoot

hello My thirteen year old son has been prescribed Risperdal, Concerta (Ritalin) and now Prozac. Has anyone else got such an extensive list and does it work? The ludicrous thing is that if he didn't go to school he would get by on lower dosages, We are looking to statement but have been told we're unlikely to get one as he's got a high IQ. Comments? Barefoot.