drift

Hi I havent posted for awhile but Ive been popping in a lot. Had a really rough time the last few weeks, Sams prov. dx (AS) just sinking in. School still well and truly blinkered even though Sam just had two weeks off GP note with stress. Had a meeting with Senco and head and again I got,- well what can we do, there is NO problem at school- Senco phoned me first morning Sam was off to say it was damaging and detrimental to keep him off school Soon put her in her place I can tell you! Phoned reg paed and got him to agree to come into school next term to observe and just filled in questionaire for next assessment in the summer.... it feels like a long and lonely road. Im feeling really inadequate and How awful but Im grieving for the child I imagined I would have. Still some good news. After a year Sam has learnt to ride his bike and he is glowing. So are we. I keep picking up the phone to call NAS but dry up and dont even know what questions to ask or what to say. OOh thanks for listening! drift

indeed! Well done, sounds like a brave fight fought and won -ish! Brilliant drift

Havent quite got the hang of the whole quote thang yet! Too many Hobnobs in my mis spent youth drift

Thank you all, for your replies! Most welcome and Im very grateful. <'> Thing is now Im not sure where to turn, what our next move should be. I was thinking of the next step and am writing a letter to the Head with copies to the school govs and the LEA, to be handed in when Sams sick note expires. Not sure what to say and how to put things. Im feeling pretty thick! I plan to say how Sam is at home, what his anxieties are about school and how I think they can help him. Also how let down we feel about the total lack of provision and acknowledgement, from the senco. Also I plan to phone the LEA, not sure who I speak to or even what to say...I feel pathetic! Ive never had to do anything like this before and its daunting. I think its a really good idea to log all the calls, visits and Sams behaviour. I hadnt even thought of that, so thanks for that tip carolynbarry! Im up for a fight, just dont know where to aim my first punch! Any words of wisdom, experience or whatever most gratefully accepted. Thanks people drift

Really pleased things went well for you. Loved the rocket up the whatsit scenario! Made me chuckle! Well done <'> drift

Elanor, thanks for support and reply. Does your son have any provision at school? If so how much does this help. ( Hope this isn't too intrusive) Its awful to witness your child barely coping, isnt it. take care drift

Simon, Thanks for your reply. Do you mind me asking how you got the LEA autism co-ordinator involved. Sam has only a provisional dx 'mild aspergers' his next appointment is months away. Will this make a difference? I am planning to write to the head and go in to see her when Sams two weeks sick note runs out. Found out today that paed that Sam saw for initial assesment has left! Bet that slows things down. I will ring Priory Mannor tomorrow and find out who has taken her place. Thanks again. I feel like this is turning into a real big uphill struggle. drift

Carole, <'> Thank you, my husband and I just came to almost the same conclusion about ten minutes before I checked in! We realised how stressful Sam finds any social situation, parties, groups, even people coming round for a drink and therefore to be bouncing, positive and totally happy at school is such a massive shift in behaviour that it cant be true. Sam says yes, he is coping a bit better at school but it is still very stressful. He said he had told the mentor that his substitute teacher was not as strict about him holding his pen and so that day he had not found handwriting so difficult. This is then translated to one of his major handicaps being swept away. Sigh, thank you Carole for reminding us that we got it right and Im not going to stress that this time off for Sam is anything but good. drift

Oh dear, Last week I tried to contact the senco four or five times, she didnt get back to me but I managed to catch her on thursday, she said "Couldnt get back to you, too busy dealing with naughty awful children and very urgent reports" (! poor kids) I told her I was very concerned about my son (Sam aged 7) who was showing signs of major stress. Her stock answer 'Hes absolutely fine' Took him to my hero- oops I mean gp (sorry if you have already read my post Happy Happy, as this bit is sort of repeated) Gp really came through and gave Sam two weeks off school because of stress. This time off started today. At ten past nine the senco phoned...SHE phoned ME! I know she was booted into action by sick note but even so!!! However she told me that any time off would prove very detrimental to Sam as not only was he 'absolutely fine' he is positively bouncing, happy, chatty, very involved with all that was going on and any time he was alone that was because he had chosen to be. She said that the mentor that Sam sees ( half an hour once a week)along with a group of other kids for a friendship group had reported on Friday that he even didnt mind handwriting...as "I am used to it now" *Scuse me while I faint into a very large brandy* Can I be SO wrong, can she be right that this time off is going to set Sam back enormously and be damaging? Can my child be So stressed, angry upset and meltdown prone at home and so OK at the one place he tells me he HATES. I know that she is not totally right, but can she be so wrong? I am really confused and worried. I only want to do whats best for my boy. I am shocked if she can say he is so happy and settled there that they cant do anything for him as he presents no problem at all. I cant believe I am doubting my intentions and belief that I know my son but she sounded so confident and sure of her self. Im floundering. Any words of wisdom. Thank you drift

Hi, I havent any advice on your statement review, sorry, and I hope it all goes really well for you. I had to post to say that I think the 'put your hands up if you like S' teacher behavoiur is really outrageous! To my mind it constitutes a form of abuse, its manipulative, underhand and humiliating. I would be Furious if that had happened to my son. Its the thought process that infuriates me, as well as the follow through action. I have worked in nurseries and schools and have seen the kind of 'lets shame/bully/ignore/ridicule that behaviour out of that child' being used to great harm. Not only is it damaging to self confidence/esteem etc but it can really turn a whole class against the poor child! Sorry if Ive blown my top I really do hope all goes well and Im sure you will receive some excellent advice, you have done already from Simon! take care drift

Too shocked, angry and horrified to write anything drift

Kirstie, My son has an imaginary friend too that he talks to for a goodly long time, I think he was necessary as we 'zone out' after Sams been talking at us for hours! Sams friend is called See through Sam. He is exactly like Sam except somewhat shorter and transparent. He told the paed about See through Sam when he was having his assessment, she thought he had said his name was Sifou Sam and was very impressed! Sifou means teacher/father in Chinese! Sam soon put her right though. He can talk endlessly, but then Im not short of a word or two either! drift

Kathryn We're very happy happy for you! Sounds like a great battle fought and won, well some of it anyway I'll raise a glass for you and yours may the road rise up to meet you even more drift

Forgot to say I used info from you Simon I felt much more confident armed and dangerous! Thanks drift