drift

Hi I havent posted for awhile but Ive been popping in a lot. Had a really rough time the last few weeks, Sams prov. dx (AS) just sinking in. School still well and truly blinkered even though Sam just had two weeks off GP note with stress. Had a meeting with Senco and head and again I got,- well what can we do, there is NO problem at school- Senco phoned me first morning Sam was off to say it was damaging and detrimental to keep him off school Soon put her in her place I can tell you! Phoned reg paed and got him to agree to come into school next term to observe and just filled in questionaire for next assessment in the summer.... it feels like a long and lonely road. Im feeling really inadequate and How awful but Im grieving for the child I imagined I would have. Still some good news. After a year Sam has learnt to ride his bike and he is glowing. So are we. I keep picking up the phone to call NAS but dry up and dont even know what questions to ask or what to say. OOh thanks for listening! drift

indeed! Well done, sounds like a brave fight fought and won -ish! Brilliant drift

Havent quite got the hang of the whole quote thang yet! Too many Hobnobs in my mis spent youth drift

Thank you all, for your replies! Most welcome and Im very grateful. <'> Thing is now Im not sure where to turn, what our next move should be. I was thinking of the next step and am writing a letter to the Head with copies to the school govs and the LEA, to be handed in when Sams sick note expires. Not sure what to say and how to put things. Im feeling pretty thick! I plan to say how Sam is at home, what his anxieties are about school and how I think they can help him. Also how let down we feel about the total lack of provision and acknowledgement, from the senco. Also I plan to phone the LEA, not sure who I speak to or even what to say...I feel pathetic! Ive never had to do anything like this before and its daunting. I think its a really good idea to log all the calls, visits and Sams behaviour. I hadnt even thought of that, so thanks for that tip carolynbarry! Im up for a fight, just dont know where to aim my first punch! Any words of wisdom, experience or whatever most gratefully accepted. Thanks people drift

Really pleased things went well for you. Loved the rocket up the whatsit scenario! Made me chuckle! Well done <'> drift

Elanor, thanks for support and reply. Does your son have any provision at school? If so how much does this help. ( Hope this isn't too intrusive) Its awful to witness your child barely coping, isnt it. take care drift

Simon, Thanks for your reply. Do you mind me asking how you got the LEA autism co-ordinator involved. Sam has only a provisional dx 'mild aspergers' his next appointment is months away. Will this make a difference? I am planning to write to the head and go in to see her when Sams two weeks sick note runs out. Found out today that paed that Sam saw for initial assesment has left! Bet that slows things down. I will ring Priory Mannor tomorrow and find out who has taken her place. Thanks again. I feel like this is turning into a real big uphill struggle. drift

Carole, <'> Thank you, my husband and I just came to almost the same conclusion about ten minutes before I checked in! We realised how stressful Sam finds any social situation, parties, groups, even people coming round for a drink and therefore to be bouncing, positive and totally happy at school is such a massive shift in behaviour that it cant be true. Sam says yes, he is coping a bit better at school but it is still very stressful. He said he had told the mentor that his substitute teacher was not as strict about him holding his pen and so that day he had not found handwriting so difficult. This is then translated to one of his major handicaps being swept away. Sigh, thank you Carole for reminding us that we got it right and Im not going to stress that this time off for Sam is anything but good. drift

Oh dear, Last week I tried to contact the senco four or five times, she didnt get back to me but I managed to catch her on thursday, she said "Couldnt get back to you, too busy dealing with naughty awful children and very urgent reports" (! poor kids) I told her I was very concerned about my son (Sam aged 7) who was showing signs of major stress. Her stock answer 'Hes absolutely fine' Took him to my hero- oops I mean gp (sorry if you have already read my post Happy Happy, as this bit is sort of repeated) Gp really came through and gave Sam two weeks off school because of stress. This time off started today. At ten past nine the senco phoned...SHE phoned ME! I know she was booted into action by sick note but even so!!! However she told me that any time off would prove very detrimental to Sam as not only was he 'absolutely fine' he is positively bouncing, happy, chatty, very involved with all that was going on and any time he was alone that was because he had chosen to be. She said that the mentor that Sam sees ( half an hour once a week)along with a group of other kids for a friendship group had reported on Friday that he even didnt mind handwriting...as "I am used to it now" *Scuse me while I faint into a very large brandy* Can I be SO wrong, can she be right that this time off is going to set Sam back enormously and be damaging? Can my child be So stressed, angry upset and meltdown prone at home and so OK at the one place he tells me he HATES. I know that she is not totally right, but can she be so wrong? I am really confused and worried. I only want to do whats best for my boy. I am shocked if she can say he is so happy and settled there that they cant do anything for him as he presents no problem at all. I cant believe I am doubting my intentions and belief that I know my son but she sounded so confident and sure of her self. Im floundering. Any words of wisdom. Thank you drift

Hi, I havent any advice on your statement review, sorry, and I hope it all goes really well for you. I had to post to say that I think the 'put your hands up if you like S' teacher behavoiur is really outrageous! To my mind it constitutes a form of abuse, its manipulative, underhand and humiliating. I would be Furious if that had happened to my son. Its the thought process that infuriates me, as well as the follow through action. I have worked in nurseries and schools and have seen the kind of 'lets shame/bully/ignore/ridicule that behaviour out of that child' being used to great harm. Not only is it damaging to self confidence/esteem etc but it can really turn a whole class against the poor child! Sorry if Ive blown my top I really do hope all goes well and Im sure you will receive some excellent advice, you have done already from Simon! take care drift

Too shocked, angry and horrified to write anything drift

Kirstie, My son has an imaginary friend too that he talks to for a goodly long time, I think he was necessary as we 'zone out' after Sams been talking at us for hours! Sams friend is called See through Sam. He is exactly like Sam except somewhat shorter and transparent. He told the paed about See through Sam when he was having his assessment, she thought he had said his name was Sifou Sam and was very impressed! Sifou means teacher/father in Chinese! Sam soon put her right though. He can talk endlessly, but then Im not short of a word or two either! drift

Kathryn We're very happy happy for you! Sounds like a great battle fought and won, well some of it anyway I'll raise a glass for you and yours may the road rise up to meet you even more drift

Forgot to say I used info from you Simon I felt much more confident armed and dangerous! Thanks drift

Just got back for gp. Went to talk about increasing stress son Sam 7yrs is under at school where they think everything is 'absolutely fine' and are doing absolutely nothing to help or support him. Sat down, weepily, and read long list of symptoms and quotes from Sam and gp said 'with out a doubt this child needs at least two weeks off school, plus probably a whole lot more!' He was shocked that school had failed so totally to recognise any issues especially as they had received assessment report form paed with her concerns! He has written that Sam is undergoing treatment, (then nodded to me and said its called chill out time treatment). He said 'Tell your son I will help him and support him and we will try very hard make things better for him' Honestly I feel so high! Someone listened! Someone is on our side and doesnt think Im an overanxious over reactive parent. We were So worried about our gorgeous son and it felt so hard trying to get his voice heard. Sam has just been told he has two weeks off and his joy is total Yours from a dizzing height drift

Thank you! I will check tonight or tomorrow morning as I have afternoon appointment with gp. Fiona/drift

Simon, hope you dont mind me asking but what did he day in the letter (ish) Im not trawling for personal info, just generally! Its just if my gp is struggling to know what to say, Id love to give him some pointers! My appointment is not until tomorrow as Ive opted to see a gp that has been supportive in the past with Sam. I will mention the To Whom It May Concern header, thanks for that advice. drift

Thanks Nellie, I will ask them tomorrow, I've checked out the link you gave. Very useful. drift

Hi thanks for your replies, makes me feel less alone! I am going to make an appointment with gp tomorrow, I wont take Sam to this one though as I want to be able to really let loose! Not sure what to say, apart from Sams symptoms of stress etc... hope I get a sympathetic one. Phoned senco today to get more of the same...she is going to check with class teacher to see if shes noticed change in behaviour and said she will phone paed, she has said this before. I know she thinks there is not a problem at all except 'well he did miss out that very essential year when you removed him from school' Yes load it all on to me She said his reading age would have been well above average if he had remained in school. No matter how many times I tell her I am not concerned with his academic stuff it always comes back to this! Deep breath. Ill see how it goes with gp tomorrow and hopefully get him some and space to de stress, otherwise Ill do it without gp help. Very interesting point about the de registering though. I'll bear that in mind, as I think Sam would blossom with 1.2. 1 tuition at home than you drift

Hi Rose, Just wanted to say WELCOME Im Fiona aka drift married to Mike, we have two kids Sophie 18 and Sam 7 AS. We home edded Sam for a year and it was lovely, but he went back to school a year ago cos we ran out of money! Anyway, welcome once again. drift

Hello to the warm and wise people out there! Son Sam (7) has begun assessment procedure, seen a paed who wrote a report saying Sam shows signs of Aspergers and needs assessing further, awaiting an appointment with joint clinic but months away! His school were initially supporting us in wanting assesment but now state that he is 'absolutely fine' at school, with no problems, they wont put him on school action or school action plus so its hard to go any further as Ed psy cannot visit. Senco has done 'some testing' on Ed psys behalf. She said he was fine apart from reading and handwriting skills that are above his chronolgoical age but should be better because he is So bright and articulate! She has suggested 'boost sessions' to rectify this. Sam is becoming increasingly stressed and anxious at home, managing to hold himself together at school. We did home ed him for a year, because he had become very ill due to stress. He has been back at school for a year. We are now feeling more and more that he cannot cope with school and we should home ed him again..BUT what happens to his assessment if we do? Will it be stopped? Can we still carry on with it? Dont know what will happen and really hoping someone can shed some light on this for us. Im feeling very weepy and the whole household feels weighted down. Thanks in advance drift

Welcome Tizz Im quite new too, but when I found this place, it felt like I was coming home. Lots of lovely folk with a wealth of warmth and advice. drift

Yes of course... drit ( a newish bie with not a lot of posts, but youre welcome whenever)

Hi We dont live in Scotland so Im not much use to you locally, we have recently been told our son Sam is AS and so can send our love and support on that one...even though we 'knew' tis still a lot to take in. Just wanted to say hello and welcome from another newbie! drift