bluefish

just wanted to say Merry Christmas and thank you for the suport and advice this site has given me in 2009 is ds excited tonight? nope..................... never mind never say never

Thanks for all the lovelly replies, I cant help but feel silly and selfish as my life with ds might be hard at times but we are very very lucky I know many parents out there would love to hear there childs voice this christmas and I feel very humble. things ok here I have done his visual timetable ready for christmas day and hope like mad he opens his stocking this year! again thankyou for the lovelly replies x

A stupid thing to say butI still cant get my head round it

thanks for your replys tonight I have had total break down and cryed and cyed guess I had to do this at some point?I cant believe my son is autistic

When ds was dx at 3 and half I was told "the only thing I can garantee is that he wil grow taller" then that was it.... nothing more!

just thought I would post to say I am feeling sad! I think all the up beat impression I give all year kind of catches up at this time of year! even the supermarket is a mine field of well meaning people asking ds if he has been good and telling him santa wont come if he bites his mummy! I think this time of year more than any other I feel the difference between having an NT child or an ASD child really shows. I want to have what they have got with the excitment and not being able to wait santa/father christmas comes. instead I have a little man that hates being off school and will need to be shown his presents and even then will act like a man in his fiftys and be very quietly pleased but show no excitment! I do understand how very lucky I am that ds speaks and i can hear his voice he also at times hugs me so I feel blessed but i find it all very sad . I feel sad that I am pleased with achiements that most consider normal and at times wish his life could be much easier! x

Fantastic! dont know why something so simple did not occur to me! We use visual timetable for when family visit ect but I didnt think to plan Christmas day! I am going to get busy making and lamanating! Thanks

Fantastic! dont know why something so simple did not occur to me! We use visual timetable for when family visit ect but I didnt think to plan Christmas day! I am going to get busy making and lamanating! Thanks

Hi, my ds is 6 now and I thought he might be into christmas this year......but he has shown no excitment and has not opened the advent clalenders (even though they have choc in) and is very non plused by the whole thing!He is more interesed that school will be open again soon and wants to count that down! just wondered if any of your little ones the same? He is a bright lad but does not cope well with holidays from school and lined all his lego men up today and was explaining to them that it was a Monday but school was closed! He hates that things not the same and sort of understands its christmas but laughed when I said father christmas would come.. with a response of " some people call him santa but it is not real mum"

Hi, I am so sorry your child was not included in the school play! My ds is high functioning and very unpredictable too and at his last school they simply ignored his statement and his needs, I understand why you did not challenge them more, it is very hard. I am still cross with myself a year on for not being more assertive when I was so deeply unhappy with how he was being treated at school. My ds is the same as yours in as much as with the right preperation and comunication he understands what he has to do. His new school move heavan and earth to make sure he understands what is happening they even made him his own "Christmas countdown" to have at home like an advent calender he opened the doors to see what was happening each day at school and a blank window ment a normal school day! I feel very very lucky to have found a school that seem to pride themselves on his achievments, today he stayed for the school christmas dinner, he took his packed lunch so he felt no pressure, he took his own knife and fork incase he needed it and he ate dry turkey and sausage. They were delighted he did it and put photos in his diary even making comment on the fact he used school cutlery! I think it is terrible that some schools have no idea about asd and our children are excluded from things that with the right care and support can cope with! I have had a very tough evening with ds due to his huge achievments at school but that is the down side of the good stuff I guess. Please if you can make sure the school understand how it made you and your child feel that they were not included in the school play. I think our lives as parents of asd children are so often very very tough and very hard for our children themselves these teachers need to understand! My ds is just six and knows he is differnt and hates it! The other children at his school have been given a very simple explenation about his autism and it has worked wonders the older children look after him and noone bates an eyelid when he struggles the other parents have asked me loads of questions and celerbrate his achievements. Good luck and I wish you a good christmas

Hi I have to post to say ds not only managed to stay in the hall(that was the goal set) he joined in and sang his heart out in the christmas play! A year ago he was bitting himself,head banging and making very sad noises...... Since he started at his new school in Feb things have gone from good to great! It just goes to show it can be done when the school include special needs. I have never felt so proud it makes the drive to school so worth it! I wanted to share this as we have had a long road of things being very hard and for a change things are fantastic!!! Just wish ds could sleep more than 4 hours in a night but guess i cant have it all!

Thanks Kathryn x

Hi, Ds tonight became very upset and asked me to take him home, we were at home... nothing in routine had changed and the day at school had been normal. He has asked this before over the last few weeks but has not been upset and has settled for the answer "we are at home" but tonight he became terrified and started crying and screaming that he wanted to go home. I dont understand and had no idea how to help him other than repeat calmly we were at home and we were very safe. He has finally dropped off to sleep but I feel very helpless, what does he mean by "going home" I feel very upset for him and for me that he feels afraid of something he cant express. I have racked my brain for any little thing that could have upset him but can not come up with anything. Have any of you come across this kind of thing? Thanks in advace for any replies

I am delighted that your ds has made such huge progress with sleep. It is a battle in my house too and have in the last couple of weeks got ds to start the night in his own bed, he is still a terrible sleeper leaving me exhausted, but we are getting there! These achievments are not down to luck, its you working very hard to make these things happen. I hope you feel proud of what you have enabled your child to achieve.

Hi, ds has (about half an hour ago) thrown himself off the landing over the banister ,quite a drop and landed on his head!!!!he is luckily ok other than a large bruise to his head..... he was very upset but not due to being hurt through his tears he explained he had failed to land on his feet.....How do I explain the danger? I have to supervise him all the time, but he had just gone to the toilet and I had no idea he might launch himself off the landing..... I really am worried about his safety and his understanding of danger, Although I have as many safety precauctions in place as poss(bars on windows, extra locks on doors)I was shocked that he took it upon himself to leap over the bannister! He does not connect the pain with the action and I have had to prevent 3 more dive atempts since! Any advice on how to explain danger?

Hi, I agree with all the advice already given. Have a meeting with the HT and senco but have someone with you ie parent partnership so you have a witness of what is said/promiced. Also contact IPSEA as they will back you up on the legal requirement the school has to adhere to your childs statement so you feel confident when you tell the school that and can quote what they have said if needed. The statement is a legal document and has to be adhered to( although sadly this is often not the case)I would also contact your education officer and explain the money being provided for your child is not being used for them. I had many many problems with ds school,where his 15 hour statement which was very specific was ignored, in the end I told education officer his statement was not worth the paper it was written on and he was wasting his budget! I ended up moving schools but I wish you luck. They need to do their jobs and look after your child thats why you got a statement!!! best of luck

So sorry to hear you are having a tough time, I really understand and feel for you. just wondered, have the staff made a point of explaining about the new starters on a daily basis? as my ds needs this daily to make him understand. Also what about staff giving your ds an "important" job to do each lunch or play time to detract from being first? like line monitor or something. It is so hard, I know my ds can not help, or explain his unexceptable behaviour at times but still needs to learn it wont be excepted. Hope things improve x

Gerbils!!!! ds loves them (me too!) all called Mr mouse...... two fish called.....Mr fish and of course Mr fish!!!! He wanted a mouse hense Mr mouse..but they are fab pets

I think because they have little or no knowledge of asd and think that if the child appears to cope at school that the parents make up the things that happen at home ! sorry for short post but our bedtime routine about to start!!!!

Thanks for your reply, the reason I have yet to put pen to paper is because I cant believe things are so good and as you say if things go wrong it could be used against us! It is sad that I feel so hessitant as I am great at complaining I am quite shy and find it hard to show how pleased I am, funny how out spoken I could be when things were bad at old school, looking back I cant believe how brave I was to challenge the system!!!!!! But good advice i shall make a point of telling HT how pleased I am

Hi, ds started at his new school in Feburary.From day one at new school things have been perfect! and have continued to be perfect. Ds is so happy and could not wait to get back after the summer. I want to put somthing in writting about the school to express how I feel about the staff and the wonderfull approach to special needs,( its a main stream school)that as a parent I have been overwhelmed by the fantastic support and care that is given to all the children as well as ds. I am not sure who to write to... I was going to write to the HT but did not want to seem like a gushing parent, should I write to the govoners or the LA I have become very good at complaining but find myself in unknown waters when it comes to saying Thankyou! I am so imrpessed by the school and know that if I was unhappy pen would hit paper with ease, so not sure why I feel a bit akward about giving praise. any advice on who I could write to would be great Thankyou

How did it go???? Hope it went well and you were both ok! My thoughts have been with you. A big step for you both lin xx

Good luck for the morning

Hi, my son too is repetetive in his speach and asks the same question over and over again regardless of the answer.He also quotes tv adverts in an attempt to make conversation.... some of my sons speach/language is "normal" but very stilted with learnt responses to questions.he likes to repeat the same thing over and over, it seems to make him feel safe. He talks non stop but needs to reasure himself of what is going to happen. He has no concept of time and tommorow is a word he uses for never! xxxx

Fantastic news! so pleased for you both xx