oxgirl Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Had a really upsetting conversation with my J last night, when he said that he feels like the kids at school are always angry with him and telling him to 'go away' or telling him to 'move' if he tries to sit next to them in class. He's so alone there, no-one wants to know him or be his friend, they just see him as an annoying little weirdo and they don't want him near them. I'm heartbroken. At the moment I'm driving two and a half hours to get him to this place and I'm feeling like the cost is too high. What's it all for? Just so that he can get a GSE in Science, he has to tolerate five years of rejection and isolation and what damage will this do to his emotional wellbeing and confidence. It's so unfair. The thought of him floating around that place with not a soul to comfort him is breaking me up! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Platefull of Love Report post Posted October 9, 2006 <'> <'> <'> <'> I am so sorry he is having such a tough time <'> <'> , its heartbreraking as they do want friends, yet do try, but don't fit in Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 9, 2006 <'> <'> <'> <'> I am so sorry he is having such a tough time <'> <'> , its heartbreraking as they do want friends, yet do try, but don't fit in Yes, he just hasn't got a clue how to make a friend and yet he feels so lonely. It's so much worse now that he's older. When he was at primary school all the kids were kind to him and made an effort and he was oblivious to them, but now he is so much more aware, he knows that no-one likes him or wants to be his friend, it's just too awful. I can't stop crying thinking about him in that lonely prison. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Mel, <'> I'm so sorry, this must hurt. Are the school aware of your son's isolation, if not I think you should tell them, or write down what your son is saying. He has a right to be heard. They should be putting strategies in place to help him. Social stories, circle of friends, social skills training, helping him to understand personal space etc. This is what inclusion means, they can't just stick him in a class and leave him to get on with it, that's not inclusion! It might also be the case that your son is misinterpreting the behaviour of other children, if this is the case, it's another reason for him to have this support. This is a link to the DfES Guidance on Autistic Spectrum Disorders. It might be worth finding out if the school are following this. http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/sen/asds/ Good luck Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Hi Mel, Know exactly where you're coming from and it breaks your heart. I've never felt so useless, helpless or sad in all my life for my daughter's in the same position - she's 13. When she was younger it hurt but she didn't seem so aware if you know what I mean and unfortunately children can be so cruel. Take care, chin up. Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted October 9, 2006 Nellie is right the school should be doing something about this. No way would my child go to a school for five years just so that they could get a GCSE in Science - for goodness sake he could do that at home - loads of Home Educated children do them every year and pass them to. I am not suggesting you HE just pointing out that there is more to school than exams. The school could at least try to solve the problem. It does appear to become more obvious as our children become older and more aware. Already Matthew aged 9 is begining to understand that he does ot quite fit in and he does not even go to school. I know that it would get much worse if he was in school so I am truly pleased that he will not have the constant reminder of his difference every single day - it's so hard <'> Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted October 9, 2006 They should be putting strategies in place to help him. Social stories, circle of friends, social skills training, helping him to understand personal space etc. This is what inclusion means, they can't just stick him in a class and leave him to get on with it, that's not inclusion! What I want to know is why the school isn't offering these strategies? It can't be a good school for kids with AS if it doesn't offer suitable social skills sessions. In fact it sounds just like my SEN school that focussed on academic lessons with the hope that the social skills would come naturally with time and discipline. I have first hand experience from my school that it isn't worth damaging your kids emotional wellbeing and confidence by sending them to an unsuitable school just to get a few stinking GCSEs that are virtually worthless anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted October 9, 2006 <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
