periods of compliance and self control

[phoebe]

Sometimes I wonder if the diagnosis was correct, G has great periods of compliance and self control, he doesn't have balance problems, he does tell jokes and seemingly understands them, and when we are in a good period, everything is rosy and our lives are different. Then WAM, for apparently no reason we are off on one again. There usually follows a long downward spiral and then a crash and then we pick up the pieces and start again with some new technique for control.

 

We do have loads of management systems in place that we have developed and do evolve over the years and he does still have problems at school, mainly when there is a change of teacher, or other kids are "pressing his buttons" knowing what a reaction they will get.

 

Does anyone else have weeks and months of controlled behaviour?

Edited November 10, 2006 by phoebe

[KarenT]

Does anyone else have weeks and months of controlled behaviour?

Yes, very similar. I hate it. You get lulled into a false sense of security that you're doing a good job and helping your child to fit into the world, then (as you so eloquently put it) WHAM and you're back to square one - nay, off the board completely and looking for the dice and counters. J's having a b*tch of a time just now, yet in March-May he was a little angel - mind you, he was in SATS preparation at the time so school was like hog heaven for him. Now it's a bit tougher and the kids are winding him up, higher expectations on him etc - doesn't really matter how well structured and calm I am at home he's got to let it all out somewhere. And he does - I have the broken chairs to prove it.

 

Chin up. Just like buses, there'll be another good spell coming along after a dodgy one.

 

Karen

x

[phoebe]

"You get lulled into a false sense of security that you're doing a good job and helping your child to fit into the world" (quote)

 

That's it exactly!!

 

Thank you!

 

When I look at all the criteria for the diagnosis , I can see he fits it, but then we have a settled period and I dunno, I suppose as a mum, i just hope and pray that the diagnosis was wrong and that I have managed to fix my parenting to a style that suits him. Long term it would be so much easier if his difficulties were my fault, cos I can fix the way i am - do you know what I mean?

 

We are enjoying a settled period at the moment...............long may it last.

 

Hope your next one is on the way soon. <'>

[2pink2blue]

Oh yes I understand totally what you mean.

 

We have only had B's dx for 6-8 weeks so it is still sinking in anyway!

 

" Long term it would be so much easier if his difficulties were my fault, cos I can fix the way i am "

That's what I was hoping they would tell me at the feedback meeting when we got the dx...that it was all my fault and if I only parented differently it would all go away. Mind you that was after months and months of wanting them to say yes there is something else and she has xyz!!!!

 

B does sound very like your son in the way she conducts herself most of the time but we are also hitting a rocky patch. Not only is the run up to Christmas a trying time anyway and really stretches her ability to cope but her class teacher is also leaving then as well.

 

It's just funny how everything goes along and you just get on with life and then, as you say, wham!!!!!

 

Hope the calm outweighs the storms!!!

[Bagpuss]

We have similar experiences with our dd's, especially our youngest. I remember going to her parents evening in October and telling her teacher we felt she was so chilled and calm of late at home and that we were really enjoying spending time with her, including both her siblings. Within a matter of days I could have eaten my words......

 

She most definately has periods of time when she appears to be less challenging.....unsure why this happens.

 

Take care <'>

[Flora]

I can very much relate to this with Bill, but Ben is the same all the time.

 

Flo'