phoebe

OMG poor you. I am sorry, I do not have any suggestions at the mo, but wanted to send you some hugs XXXXXXXXXXXX <'> <'> <'> <'>

Hello to friends old and new, I have not been around for a while, but I wonder if anyone has any advice for me? PLease!! My ds has been excluded again and whilst i do not argue with the school that the "crime" deserves a punishment, I would argue that on each occasion that he has been excluded, there have been a series of events that have led up to the incident and all or many of them are down to their mismanagement of his condition. I have always tried to work with the school and have spoonfed management systems to them, keep them informed of any/all developments and know and understand that they do a difficult job, but at times like these I struggle to appreciate that they are doing the best they can for my son. He has been with them for 6 years and will be moving on to secondary in the near future..... if after knowing him for so long, they cant educate him, what hope do I have??? He is statemented and in a EBD unit within a mainstream school. Has anyone challenged exclusion/ found a solution to these types of problems? HE is 9. (edited to include age)

Many, many , many congratulations to you both. I am so pleased for you and wish you all the very best. Lovely, lovely news <'>

Interesting post. Ds also has trouble with this. I have been known to hide away all summer gear in the winter, because once he is dressed in something, it is the devils own job to make him understand that he needs to change into something more appropriate! Do you actually really not feel the cold/heat? I am always amazed by DS' saying that what he is wearing is fine (even when his body is flushed with warmth from wearing too much in summer, he will claim that he feels fine). Even this week we have had examples of both extremes, but DS is quite happy with wearing shorts on a frosty morning and wearing jumpers and coat on the way home when it is considerably warmer? I thought (presumed) that this was another learning process, but maybe then it is a sensory thing. I will also look into this more.

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS and secondly - what do you think made the difference and is there any way I can replicate it? I was in school having a meeting with the EP this week - who was just telling me that DS wasn't a worthy candidate of specialist secondary provision (even though he is in a resourced provision at primary), when I was tracked down because DS had kicked off and hit a teacher and was to be excluded for the rest of the day and the following day. NO INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL EXCLUSIONS, NOW THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING, REALLY SOMETHING. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR LITTLE MAN

Recently had a huge problem - now fixed (fingers crossed), but had to get an expert to reload all my software - when turning on pc it came up to a screen which said windows, but gave me no option for logging on. Has anyone else had this? Any idea what it could be down to and hoiw I can stop it happening again?? Already had virus protection......but......cant live without my pc Any advice techies?

Hi J's mum I haven't been around for a while, but having read your post, I wanted to say hi and wish you all the best. I do hope that your planned break allows J and you some well earned time to chilll and that when you get back, some good news will arrive for you. Take care of you, it is so hard, but we all keep struggling on against the odds for the love of our kids.

Our C.council has apparently decided to do team teach training for two days and as a result the resourced provision is closed for those days. The children are not allowed to go into school these days but will be provided with work to be completed at home. I offered to go in to support ds instead of him having two days off, but they said no. It is a mainstream school and DS spends his time in the classroom (statemented for 10 hours). Have any of the rest of you come across this and what do you think? Any teachers out there, is this normal procedure? (edited to include statmented hours and ask teachers opinion)

"However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home. She is getting worse with this the older she gets - she says she hates the hair falling on her face. Any tips?" Oh yes - haircuts!! That is a whole other matter, we also cut only at home now after years of struggling....luckily I am able to just shave his head with some of those clippers (actually even more luckily, ONLY daddy can do it). Luckily we have a boy otherwise I might have to go and learn how to do it properly!! Reading back through the posts and replies, I am aware thsat I didn't really plan for this shoe shopping trip and I should know better by now!!! I like that first person in the shop udea and I had already thought I might even phone them before I go next time, to explain and get the right assistant to help us. NOte to self PHONE the night before, be first in shop next morning........... The shop assisstant might have a sleepless night or worse, they might all phone in sick the next day!!!!!

Thanks again!! I seem to have lost my smile at the moment. I just need to regroup and give myself a kick up the bum!!

Hi I noticed you were fairly new here too and wanted to add my welcome to everyone elses. Glad you found the forum, here you will always find pepople who understand and a place to have a quiet rant when the stuff that most people cant begin to understand start to feel like a heavy burden. Celebrate the successes, no matter how small and remember we are all only human. Take care of you

Thanks guys - knew you would understand!! First thing I have smiled at today reading some of your responses..... maybe they weren't supposed to be funny, but just knowing you know what I mean gives some relief. It is DS Birthday today - should be a happy day of course, but it just seems so stressful..... relatives coming round and Ds displaying the most spoilt brattish behaviour, tearing open presents and casting them aside before he even looks at them properly (or coming out with honest comments)!!! The word not even thought of, saying Thank you not entering his head - yes all children are like this to an extent, and part of the joy of childhood is the excitement of Birthday's and Christmas. On these days his behaviour epitomises all the things I hate and I have to be a happy encouraging and joyful mummy, sometimes the stress is too much I could almost say I am looking forward to the return to school if I didn't know what a nightmare the first term (at least) will be like. Sorry again - still feeling low

How I hate shoe shopping, with the only child who cant sit still, who cant see and emulate how the other kids that are waiting, who talks to all the shop assistants while they are serving other people and whose only interest is in the shoe that he likes the look of which doesn't really fit him properley....... you end up without getting anything and the shop assistant feels like she has wasted her time on your misbehaved, child. Oh **** I am going to have to do it all again to get him a pair of shoes for school. Sorry, having a downer and needed to get it off my chest. By this stage of the holidays, I need a break!!

Have been to a few sessions now and they are going along the "mummy willl come with you, lets really talk about it and write some very specific social stories angle"...... I dont feel very confident! Perhaps I am being defeatist, but it is nothing we haven't tried before. What is CBT, how long does iot take to really get a handle on a persons difficukties and doea it have a good success rate? Has anyone employed a private psych who has been able to make a real difference to your/your child's life? still looking for answers!

- any suggestions welcome here too - There are programmes that can be used for 8 year old's, one we have used is "Volcano in my tummy." Explaining about anger and how it is a natural emotion, but it is what we do when we are angry, and the effect that can have that can cause problems. We are currently going to see a psychologist with our DS (but too early days to see what they can do to help). What about cognitive behaviour therapy - has anyone found this helpful for dealing with our kids anger and frustrations? At a loss ourselves and sometimes so desperate and scared about the future.