hev Report post Posted November 10, 2006 phoned my bro in law to tell him about my dad(partners brother)and to ask him if him and his wife can have k tomorrow for 3 hours while i go visit my dad,partner got compassion leave today and got no holiday left,they said yes then about an hour later phoned to say they were going out for a meal im visiting my dad at one,i think they just decided they dont want to do it,the hurtful thing is ive done loads for them,this is the only time ive ever asked for anything,i will never ever do a thing for them again,im so fuming,why would they suddenly decide to go for a meal at one in afternoon,i dont feel i can speak to them again,im soft and things affect me,wish i could brush peoples nastyness off instead of keep stewing on it. i love this forum,its like my agony aunt,would really be lost without it <'> <'> to everyone(even bighead ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted November 10, 2006 Sorry hun - i can't give you any advice, (i'm a wuss too ). Just sending lots of hugs <'> <'> <'> xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Report post Posted November 10, 2006 Families can be horrible - I've given up on certain members of mine. I know how you're feeling hev, I stew over things for ages and just get a headache. <'> <'> Hope your dad gets better quickly - it sounds horrible. Eva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted November 10, 2006 my parents were similar and it really used to hurt me. especialy having a perfect sister with perfect kids who my mum bends over backwards for. i rarely asked for help and it was always turned down. one excuse was "im decorating my xmas cake" later found out she had my sisters kids over helping her. i stopped asking after a while, learnt that i as the only person i could rely on! i have not spoken to my parents for 3 years now, not related to that per se, but what a relief!! she cant hurt me now! (before anyone says lifes to short and all that, it was not my choice, they disowned me) im over it. you are not being over sensitive, it is hurtful, especialy coming out with such a poor excuse. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 10, 2006 cant wait for them to ask me a favour in the future,then again ive said that before and helped them,not this time though,its true you find out who your friends are in a crisis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted November 10, 2006 Oh Hev....this is the last thing you need. I'm so sorry you are not getting the support you really deserve right now. Got to agree with Darky....we've also had huge probs with family. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 10, 2006 i think the reason its so upsetting with family is cos you think they would be the ones to help wouldnt you,anyway im not thinking of them as family now,thats it,cross em off my list,the only trouble is my list is getting rather short now!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted November 11, 2006 join the club!! i no longer have anything to do with my mum dad and two sisters. hubbys family all live away, they are ok, but as for my own family, they are not worth the energy. i havnt got a list now, not even a short one lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted November 11, 2006 to some of your family <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> to you and the rest of the family Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Report post Posted November 12, 2006 I'll join the club too! I don't have anything to do with my three brothers and their partners. And it's best that way! Cheers, Eva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 13, 2006 ive decided to have nothing more to do with this bro in law and his wife,i said to my partner if he wants them here i will go out,i wouldnt stop his family coming here but they havent even phoned or anything so thats there lot,they have owed me some money for a while so i got partner to phone em up and tell them i need it tomorrow and that they need to drop it off at my in laws,they werent impressed once ive got that no more contact Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted November 13, 2006 You take care of yourself Hev <'> <'> It never ceases to amaze me how lacking in understanding and empathy those around us appear to be sometimes......and as you say, always hurts so much more when its family.... <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmf Report post Posted November 14, 2006 Hi Hev Don't even get me started on families.......arggghhhh Hope your dad is better soon! By the way stand your ground......i was like that, say right i am not doing it for them again, then would end up doing it. I finally learnt to say no, the first time was the was worst, it does get easier in time. Best wishes Tmf xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
