mum22boys Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Hi all, After a very tough week both with M and the school, we are now going through the 'I hate school' phrase. I knew this would be coming as several things have happened this week (my post on the school trip will explain). i told the head the other day I was worried we were heading for 'hating school' - thats him not me (although i also hate the school ). I must add that although my relationship with the school is at an all time low M doesn't know that. All weekend he has said every now and then that he has stomach ache. Then follows it up with 'Do I have to go to school' Last night he was sobbing 'please don't send me back there'. He says he has no friends. He does have two boys that play with him but he says unless he looks for them they don't bother with him and sometimes don't want him around. He then kept saying he feels dead, he doesn't feel alive anymore. He is 6 years old and although he talks about death and dying a lot it is strange to hear it from a child. A couple of weeks ago he told me ' I have this thing in my head telling me i'm dying' I told him not to be silly and that he's not dying, but he was insistant. When I told DH later he said M had told him that also. Do any of your kids talk like this? It's worrying me. he has trouble with sleeping, for which we are going to the doctor next week. But he seems so down at times. M is not yet diagnosed, he is still waiting to be assessed. Any thoughts on this please. mum22boys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted November 13, 2006 (edited) My 8 yo has similar thoughts,In his case,I think it is extreme anxiety (for some it might be depression).He said to me that if he was dead then he would stop worrying.xx Edited November 13, 2006 by CarerQuie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted November 13, 2006 This could be the start of childhood depression. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madmooch Report post Posted November 13, 2006 I dont have any experience of this as H is non-verbal but i just want to send you and your son some big cyber Hugggggggs <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I really feel for you both <'> Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Aw, he sounds sad - that must be hard for all of you <'> M saying 'i have this thing in my head telling me i'm dying' rang bells with me. My son scared the daylights out of all of us a while back by telling his 1:1 that a voice in his head was telling him to hurt people.. I can't tell you how my stomach dropped hearing that (we have a family history of mental health problems) . After a long chat with him (SaLT and pyciatrist - as well as school...) is became apparent that he meant - it was something he was 'thinking' and not a 'voice' as such. Just his literal explanation.. IYSWIM From memory - he said something along the lines of..... 'It gets too confusing (school), and the lights and noises hurt my head, and i don't know what to do... i know hurting people is bad, but if i hurt i will be sent out of the room - and then my head won't hurt so much....'. It may be that your son is telling you this because he's having a really rough time at the moment - and wants some space. Saying he's ill and wanting time off school isn't working (to his mind....) so maybe saying he's dying is the next logical (to him...) stage... Do you see what i mean by that?? Sorry if i've overstepped the mark - or offended....... Also, sleep deprivation is a horrid thing - if he's not sleeping well, he will be feeling dreadful anyway. My son started Melationin a few months ago, and the change in him is great . <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Hi all, After a very tough week both with M and the school, we are now going through the 'I hate school' phrase. I knew this would be coming as several things have happened this week (my post on the school trip will explain). i told the head the other day I was worried we were heading for 'hating school' - thats him not me (although i also hate the school ). I must add that although my relationship with the school is at an all time low M doesn't know that. All weekend he has said every now and then that he has stomach ache. Then follows it up with 'Do I have to go to school' Last night he was sobbing 'please don't send me back there'. He says he has no friends. He does have two boys that play with him but he says unless he looks for them they don't bother with him and sometimes don't want him around. He then kept saying he feels dead, he doesn't feel alive anymore. He is 6 years old and although he talks about death and dying a lot it is strange to hear it from a child. A couple of weeks ago he told me ' I have this thing in my head telling me i'm dying' I told him not to be silly and that he's not dying, but he was insistant. When I told DH later he said M had told him that also. Do any of your kids talk like this? It's worrying me. he has trouble with sleeping, for which we are going to the doctor next week. But he seems so down at times. M is not yet diagnosed, he is still waiting to be assessed. Any thoughts on this please. mum22boys So sorry to hear about your worries. I'm having similar things with my lad at the mo, but he's 13. It sounds like your son is very stressed about school and maybe when you're at the doctors you could have a chat with him about the other worries as well. Sorry you're not happy with your school. I hate my son's school at the moment as well!! <'> <'> <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted November 13, 2006 hi, I hope i can offer you some reassurance , it was about this age that my daughter started to speak like this along with all the headaches and stomach pains and violent outbursts. I now realise this was her way of explaining how low she was feeling.We struggled on for a long time with this behaviour and i feel really terrible that i didnt realise this was signs of depression.Thankfully she has now been diagnosed and the changes to her lifestyle have made a huge difference and my daughter is back to her old self with only the odd outburst now.Her ability to express herself has improved and this makes things so much easier for us. I really struggled at this point with my daughters low moods and was devastated when she spoke like this.Good luck and best wishes Nicola Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Hi My son is nearly 5 and has just started mainstream school with 1-2-1 full time support. Since Robert could talk he's always talked about some really odd things: things which don't make any sense; pieces of several peoples' conversations; violence; dying; what colour his heart is, that he's stupid, he feels strange, etc. When Robert was at nursery the staff were all very worried about what Robert was talking about - he can go from being calm to furious within seconds for no obvious reason and then start making pretty spine-chilling threats. We had a recent appointment with Robert's consultant who has been amazing. I was telling her how concerned I was about the things that Robert talks about (and threats that he makes - he threatened to run out in front of a car once and actually tried to do it!!!). She was saying that this isn't uncommon - she hears parents coming into her consultation room worried sick because their child has said that they're going to cut off their teacher's head. I found that reassuring in a way. Whilst she didn't offer any constructive advice, she did say that we obviously have to be extra careful about what we let Robert watch on TV, etc. His little mind obviously works a bit differently to most other kids and that watching TV, reading stories can over-stimulate his brain causing confusion, etc. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, other than to say that you're not alone. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tsmom Report post Posted November 13, 2006 T has had voice in her head or funny thoughts/nasty thoughts as she calls them for about two yrs.Camhs say to think of nice things ,She often says she cant get a swear word out of her head ????????????i dont know why or how to stop them all i can say is listen to him and talk over his thoughts.Sorry not much help <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted November 13, 2006 yeah your defo not alone with this one....el's come out with all kinds of shockers in the past. its very worrying tho isnt it, keep an eye out as it could be the start of depression, its sad how common that is in children, particularly with children with ASD's or ADHD......sounds like he is either really physically feeling the stress of school, or is telling you to get out of going......its difficult to know. either way he needs more support at school, and as you are having a hard time with them i am not sure how you will achieve this....sending big hugs as have been there, done it....... <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JenRose Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Hello, this happened to M last year. For him it was the start of childhood depression, not saying it could be in your case. In M,s case it was to do with him being bullied at school. He told us that if he had a knife he would kill himself and asked me if Dave died would he get a day off school to attend the funeral. Thats what did it for me and we got him referred to CAMHS. He has since been dx,d with AS. Hope if havent worried you as it doesnt necessarily mean the same in your sons case. Jen xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted November 13, 2006 Hi, Kai sometimes says similar things. When he was in mainstream school he used to beg me not to send him and would often say his tummy hurt. I don't think he was trying to pull a fast one, but this was his way of telling me how stressed he was about school. He once got sent home from school (age 5) for telling the head he was going to blow up the school. She must have thought he had explosives in his lunch box (silly woman!). He also tells me he wants to die. This happens quite often, and i don't usually know what it is that's worrying him. He tells me he'd be happier in heaven with Jesus . He has also begged me to kill him, and asked me of ways to kill himself. I asked him why he felt like this and he said "I hate this life. I hate having a broken brain." I think this is his way of expressing unhappiness to me, because he can't express feelings in the "normal" way. I think your son is also trying to tell you he's not happy. The sleep thing is also a sign of anxiety with Kai. When is your assessment? Hope it's not too long and you can tell them all of these things. Loulou xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loupin Report post Posted November 13, 2006 That must be so worrying for you <'> Could you take him out of school for a day and have a day doing something that he likes just the two of you. Maybe he could then relax and elaborate on his anxieties a bit. Maybe try using some social stories to get the discussion going. he may then feel that you are taking his concerns very seriously (although i'm sure you are) The sleep thing... my boy could never get to sleep before 10/11pm and it would take a lot of fidgeting and messing about. now he has melatonin and sleeps 20mins after taking it. he is much better for the sleep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
