My son won't wear ordinary clothes

[Einstein]

I didn't really know how to title this post. Here is the "problem". My son has Asperger's and likes to dress up as a Character. At the moment he is dressed up as a Jedi Knight: school trousers, black hoodie, black belt tied round his midrif and a lightsabre in his hand. He won't wear anything else!

 

He is 7 so obviously he has to wear school uniform and he's fine with that but as soon as he comes home from school he gets changed into his "Jedi" costume and woa betide if it is in the washing machine!

 

Some kids have laughed at him wearing his school trousers on weekends. He has a whole wardrobe full of brand new jeans, sweatshirts, jumpers etc but he just says "no thanks" to anything I suggest.

 

Not so long ago he was Mario and walked around in a pair of blue waterproof dungarees, red baseball cap, red t-shirt and white gloves. He even drew a moustache in perminent ink!

 

Anyone else's child like to dress up and not wear conventional clothes.

 

On holiday this summer he wore: this is the strangest combo: shorts with his underpants on the outside, t-shirt and a bucket on his head. He was telling everyone he was Bucket Boy!

[board]

hello my dd7 today she will change her clothes 5 times a day and when her brother comes home from work she will change her clothes again what ever time he comes home i know its diffrnt from your son but thought i would say she has aspergers do you think he could be copying what he sees at the time i was told that my dd dose this when she is in school and thats how she gets by untill she copys someone who is doing wronge then she gets a row but dosnt understand why becouse she was only doing what they were doing all the best jill

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Kai has AS and he's 8. He doesn't dress up as a character, but he went through a stage of being a "hotel manager" (our house was the hotel) and a "restaurant owner" (i was the chef!). He would wear his school trousers and shirt and make a tie with paper which he would stick on. This phase lasted about 6 months and we'd have to turn our lounge into a restaurant every sunday for Grandma and Grandad.

 

He doesn't seem at all bothered what anyone thinks about his clothes. If i let him get away with it, he'd go out in his PJs. I think kids with AS aren't bothered what other people think (which is not such a bad thing really).

 

If it's not hurting anyone, then i wouldn't worry.

 

Loulou xx

[JsMum]

I am thinking maybe its a way of going into his own little world when he gets home from school and gets dressed up into charachter to feel the part and really loose himself, if he has had a real hard day been who he is and the way is set up, maybe been a jedi in a world away from the buildings of schools then he feels more able to cope with his own realality.

 

I would let him be the charachters, in drama therapy its a great way of feeling someone else, or been somewhere else, his jedi doesnt live in a school, he has his own enviorment, and clothing.

 

It sounds to me he does very well in his made up world and that the great thing about been a child he can for as long as wishes wear his jedi, even at weekends and holidays.

 

J has all the charachter dressing up, his favourate is his ghost outfit, he use to sleep in his buzz light year out fit when he was six.

 

I think for our kids its escaping our world for a few hours, and personally I think its healthy and its promoted in dramatherapy or play therapy.

 

When he has the jedi outfit is he protraying the charachter and is he happy?

 

JsMum

[Stephanie]

Sounds like its how he finds his comfort zone. Or could it perhaps be something "he has to do" as part of one of his rituals. My son is compelled by his rituals ... he just "has to do them" to make himself feel better.

 

How long did the Mario thing last and what made him change over?

 

Could you introduce some new rules, maybe say that he can wear that outfit on Tuesdays and Saturdays or something. Would he cope if it was dirty or ripped (my son has to have everything perfect).

 

I think like most kids, if you want to make changes, it has to be a very gradual process, with lots of forewarnings etc.

 

My sons fads seem to fade quickly and once he is done with them he doesn't look back (his latest is "tools" he goes around hammering everything and looking for loose screws .. ironic!)

 

... Bucket boy ... and they say they don't have an imagination!!!

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Rings bells! I recall having to take my son to nursery in his pyjamas and on other occasions in winter in shorts (didn't feel the cold). As a last resort, it was the only way I could get him out the door. At times, R would put his spiderman hoody on - when he did that, that meant big trouble especially if we were out! Fortunately, this seemed to be a phase which he's now grown out of. Personally, I'd try not to draw too much attention to it.

 

Caroline.

[lollypocket]

Hi,

 

when my son was given his dx in August this year he attended the appointment in his Superman suit. This was mainly as we were late already and it wasn't worth the hassle to get him into 'civvies'.

 

I think it is fine personally - I have taken him to the GP as Spiderman and to McDonalds too. He is happy and is blissfully unaware that anyone should think it odd. I think I may find it a little harder when he is 18, but maybe he won't be quite so keen on it then

 

I don't think it is harmful and personally I know lots of people who take their kids to school in pyjamas. Better they are at school and incorrectly dressed, than not attending IMO. I had a very similar conversation at a course I attended last Friday. A mother told me that her son had gone to school in his pyjamas as he was creating and making getting dressed difficult. I explained that I once drove my son half way to school naked wrapped in a blanket as he refused to get dressed. He decided half way there that it may be a good idea to get dressed, and funnily enough never did that again

 

KW

[curra]

Hi,

My son hates modern clothes too and before he went to secondary school, he liked to wear a white shirt and a bow tie. I also bought him a little bowler hat that he loved. But I didn't allow him to wear these items outside the home because he would have been laughed at by other kids. He only wore them for the end of school presentation when he appeared on stage as a pianist. He's very sensitive to being ridiculed and teased, so for going out he had sets of plain trousers and plain shirts (no labels, stripes etc). He doesn't like the old-fashioned items anymore but he still hates modern clothes. He became more aware of what to wear when he was 12 .

 

Wearing underpants on top of trousers rings a bell in me He did it a lot when he was trying to show that he could get dressed by himself.

 

Curra XX

[LizC]

Hi my son likes to either just strip off at home (and trys to at school too) he will just go around in his under pants, can be a bit embarrasing when people come to the door lol. his other obsession is shirts, he has loads in the ward robe, about 16ish, he will go through a few at a time and when he is finished with one shirt he just flings it on the floor! (button through shirts, short or long sleeved)

[butterfingersbimbo]

ah, this has made me laugh! el was obsessed with particular clothes when she was little, she had to wear her tellytubby leggings ALL THE TIME and even wore them when i got married.....she looked like an urchin cos they were well worn at the time. sigh.....but she would never ever ever dress up in a costume of any description, and is still scared of people in costumes!!!

 

yeah it sounds like its a comfort thing, i think its really sweet! now el will dress up in her vampire costume (from halloween last year) and she has got some jack sparrow tat too that she likes to wear. i let her wear whatever now as spent far too many years worrying about it. as long as she isnt butt naked i dont care! she even went shopping in town with her scooby dressing gown on once......

 

have also done the semi naked on the way to somewhere thing and it does work!