a quick question

[claire33]

Hi All

 

Ill explain a little first, on a night when i put k to bed i always let him watch a film (Hyperactive) now every night ill say to him "into bed then which film do you want on" i put it on say goodnight and tell him just watch that one though and then go to sleep.

Yet every night hes got it on from 7.30 when he goes to bed until i go up to bed usually about 11.30, now the film is only on for an hour so he must be starting it over and over again.

I've come to the conclusion that when i tell him just that one he thinks he has to put it on again everytime it stops.

 

Do you think its the way im telling him that he doesnt understand????

[butterfingersbimbo]

sorry, yes i do! you are telling him to just watch one film, when really you only want him to watch it once, then go to sleep!

 

if el watches a film in her room of a night there's no way she will go to bed. have changed the rules (written up on paper and stuck to the wall) to say that no tv after she goes up to bed. tv is like a stimulant, especially when they have adhd.

[claire33]

sorry, yes i do! you are telling him to just watch one film, when really you only want him to watch it once, then go to sleep!

 

if el watches a film in her room of a night there's no way she will go to bed. have changed the rules (written up on paper and stuck to the wall) to say that no tv after she goes up to bed. tv is like a stimulant, especially when they have adhd.

 

How do you get them away from it though when its been like this for as long as i remember?????

The tantrums and screams are really getting me down!! not to mention the constant tiding of the bedroom after he hasnt been allowed to do something!(god that room gets it)

[Jill]

We fell into this trap / habit / whatever you want to call it.

 

We'd put The Boy to bed with a film on. When he was in a cot bed this wasn't too much of an issue - he'd watch the film then fall asleep with the intro playing away quietly.

 

Then we got him a bed.

 

We found that he was starting the film again & again (or going and helping himself to another one - I ask you, he's non verbal but can start a dvd better than me )

 

We had to bite the bullet. We removed the telly and dvd from his bedroom. Now he watches a film in the other room and then it's bed time. It's not so great for us, because he's NEVER tired before 10pm, so the only little break we get is whilst he's watching the film (which we try to schedule so it's finished around 9, so he has some "wind down" time).

 

It aint easy, but it does mean we at least have some control over when he goes to sleep - too early and he's up at 4am too late and he's foul the next day.

 

You could try explaining to him that he only watches the film once but at the end of the day he is a boy and he's going to do what he thinks he can get away with - ASD or no ASD they're gonna push the rules, it's what kids do.

[loupin]

we have had similar problems and the only way to break the cycle is to remove the tv. You can then regain the control of it by allowing it back in for the duration of one film only. If you dont fancy that then go in when the film finnishes and say no more tv and if he wont accept it then remove it. You could try a timer on the plug like the ones you use on lamps etc then it will automatically switch off and you wont get the blame.

good luck its a tough one! but solveable over time!

[oxgirl]

What about if you went up when the film had finished and physically turned off the telly yourself and told him it was lights off time, tucked him in and settled him down, preferably remove the dvd from the machine and take it downstairs with you. It will probably be tough the first few nights, but once the pattern is set he will probably start to accept it and get into a routine.

 

My J doesn't have a TV in his room, but he goes up to bed and we read him a story and then he has up to two hours in bed to read or just chill out or make his loud noises whilst playing with his soft toys that live in his bed, etc. Then at about 10.00 we tell him it's time to turn out the light and get off to sleep. This has become so much of a routine now that at around 10.00 he now goes to the loo and calls down to ask is it time to turn out the light. And he doesn't even have a clock in his room!

 

~ Mel ~

[butterfingersbimbo]

yep....its going to be very loud in your house for a bit.....i removed el's telly etc alltogether......needless to say it didnt go down very well.....but it was worth it in the end.

 

she has it back now, but on my terms. i f she takes the mick and puts it on then i just steel myself for the punches and remove it again. then i make her wait that bit longer before she gets it back!!!

 

in a way, cos its just the two of us, sometimes she is constantly testing out her boundaries and is hoping that i will crack first....at one time she knew she would be the "winner" and she walked all over me. we had no relationship, she hated me, had no respect for me, and laughed in my face when i was upset about it!

 

now i stand up to her, we are very close, friends even! well mostly

[claire33]

Thanx for that everyone your posts all have some good points, its like you are all saying ill just have to grin anf bare it till it settles again

wish me luck

[stressedmumto2]

Having a telly in the room was the only way I could get my adder/asd into his room, he's had it there from when he was about 3 and it's the only thing that settles him if he's not watching telly he may listen to a cd. my son generally goes to sleep whilst watching his videos and once he is asleep it's turned off.

 

If he's not asleep by 10pm it gets turned of at 10pm and then the music comes on.

 

A thing to bear in mind is maybe the cd automatically plays over as this has been our case once before.

 

The thing with watching the same dvd over and over again could be part of an obsession or just a big intrest in that dvd.

 

If it is only on for an hour you could possibly use a timer (time teach are fab) and set it to one hour, with this he can see time elapsing and willknow that it is then time to go off, only prob with the timer is he can adjust it so I tell my son that I am also timing him downstairs.

 

This timer has worked a treat in our house for lots of things.

 

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[butterfingersbimbo]

what about replacing the films with story cd's?

[mel_jayne]

Reading,i fell into the telly at bed just to get a break.After a while i started to win so he is allowed to read in bed and i must admitt he still has bad nights but i won't give in so he lays in bed,well sits on his head with naked bum in the air ,playing power rangers but he's calm,well calmish.