ADULTS ONLY

[anita81]

Im sorry to ave to burden you wit this but ive just been sexually assalted by my ex partner.please dont tell me to call the police because i cant.if my ex partners family get wind of this there will be big trouble for me.i have no family or friends so im sorry to have to offload this onto youall but i feel i have friends on here that will be there for me and support me.i dont know how im supposed to feel(mayby its my aspergers).i just know that i feel ill.im sorry

[KarenT]

Im sorry to ave to burden you wit this but ive just been sexually assalted by my ex partner.please dont tell me to call the police because i cant.if my ex partners family get wind of this there will be big trouble for me.i have no family or friends so im sorry to have to offload this onto youall but i feel i have friends on here that will be there for me and support me.i dont know how im supposed to feel(mayby its my aspergers).i just know that i feel ill.im sorry

So sorry to hear this Anita. I'm not surprised you don't know how to feel, there are no rules for this sort of thing so shocked is probably the closest I can imagine. I totally understand why you don't feel able to speak to the police but you should seriously consider it. If your ex thinks there's a possibility he can get away with this behaviour he might think he's free to do it again. You'll be feeling very confused right now and not able to think straight, but please look to the future and consider what message he'll receive if you don't report it.

 

It's a very individual thing but I don't think I'd want to be alone if I were in your shoes. Is there anyoen at all you can be with, even if you don't feel like talking to them about what happened?

 

Take care of yourself.

Karen

x

[Karen A]

Hi Don't feel you are burdening people her.It is a horrible thing to happen to you.Has your ex gone and are you safe at the momment ? Karen.

[reuby2]

<'> <'>

Whatever you decide to do, we are here. <'> <'>

[anita81]

my ex as gone so im just hhere with the kids.i dont think he will come back.but he will at some point,he wants to have contact with my children.

[reuby2]

Anita, isn't there anyone there for you? No neighbours you trust?

I know you feel scared and in shock but you should take a moment to think about ringing the police, even if it is only "anonomously" to find out what to do.Also is there a crisis center number in the yellow pages, they will have trained counsellors that you can talk to. <'> <'> <'> <'>

[anita81]

Anita, isn't there anyone there for you? No neighbours you trust?

I know you feel scared and in shock but you should take a moment to think about ringing the police, even if it is only "anonomously" to find out what to do.Also is there a crisis center number in the yellow pages, they will have trained counsellors that you can talk to. <'> <'> <'> <'>

ive only just moved here so i dont know anybody.my exs family lives on te street too.we dont get on.i have no phone eithher.

[Karen A]

Hi I am glad he has gone.Does he have contact arrangements with the children?

[reuby2]

How are you feeling? I wish I could just come over to your place, sit with you and make sure you are okay.

You're not anywhere near Staffordshire are you? <'> <'>

[anita81]

How are you feeling? I wish I could just come over to your place, sit with you and make sure you are okay.

You're not anywhere near Staffordshire are you? <'> <'>

lincoln.

[anita81]

Hi I am glad he has gone.Does he have contact arrangements with the children?

ive told him he can have them saturdays

[Karen A]

Hi again.Can you arrange for him to have access via a third party so that you don't have to see him ? Karen

[reuby2]

<'> HI Anita,

You mentioned in a posting dec28th about taking your mum to get your diagnosis with you, could you get her to come over?

[anita81]

<'> HI Anita,

You mentioned in a posting dec28th about taking your mum to get your diagnosis with you, could you get her to come over?

my mums a bit of a strange one.i know she would just brushh it off as being just one of those things

[reuby2]

Oh, well you don't need that!! <'>

Hope you are okay. <'>

[anita81]

at te moment,im just glad he wont be in my life anymore.weve been in a cr*p relationship for the last 2 years.we split up yesterday,but i didnt have the heart to kick him out.i know now that hes out of my life and im relieved.i just feel that i should be feeling more emotion after whats happened though.why arnt i crying or something.my emotions are never in context to the right situations though.i cry if i loose my fags but if something serious happens im different.i dont know whats wrong with me

[oxgirl]

i dont know whats wrong with me

 

There's nothing wrong with you, you're probably in shock. Give yourself time and be good to yourself. Do you have a social worker or anyone you could talk to about this, even if it's just the Samaritans, at least it's a friendly voice and someone who'll care. Of course, we care, but actually speaking to someone could be helpful. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Karen A]

Hi Don't worry it is a shock and people respond to shock in different ways.It is not unusual to not cry or to just feel numb at first.If you split up yesterday then a lot has happened in a short time.Please try to take care of yourself and decide what you want.Karen.

[loulou]

Hi anita,

 

<'> <'> Hope you are feeling ok. What your ex has done to you is not acceptable at all, it is also a form of domestic abuse. Womens Aid have a 24 hour help line (free) and they are really good (i am a midwife and we give out their number to some of our clients). You can get the number on:

 

womens aid

 

Loulou xx

[chriss]

Hi Anita,

 

Hope you are feeling a little better now.

 

Lou Lou is absolutely right - Womens Aid are brilliant. I have a friend who used to work for them and she has always been a wonderful listener and a non judgemental person.

 

If you find it easier to talk to people over the internet you could visit www.rapecrisisonline.com. You shouldn't have to feel so alone and it's good that you are talking to this forum. But you might need professional help as your ex and his family sound like bullies and your Aspergers syndrome may be contributing to isolating you so they think treating you badly is ok. For this reason maybe you could contact the National Autistic society as well.

 

I hope things get better for you.

 

Chriss

[curra]

Anita,

 

 

I also suggest you call Women's Aid. They are really a great help and everything you say remains absolutely confidential. You are not alone.

 

Take care <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Curra

[smiley]

Anita - I've PM'd you,

[kinky j]

hi anita,

 

<'> <'> <'>

i'm gonna pm you with some info that may help, i hope it's useful.

 

take care

 

KJ

[cmuir]

Hi

 

So sorry to hear this. I know it's not quite the same, but I was bullied and repeatedly sexually assaulted when I was 14 by a male pupil over a year. This made my life a misery. I felt I couldn't speak to anyone because they'd say I was making a fuss. When I finally did pluck up the courage, that's pretty much what happened. The school dealt with it really badly - they had a social education class on the subject with me and my abuser present. It was awful and still makes me uneasy thinking back.

 

The main thing is that you need to protect yourself from your ex and avoid this happening again. If you have no family or friends, I think you really need to talk to someone ie Samaritans whom I'm sure would be able to put you in contact with an organisation whom you could get some support from within your locality.

 

Best wishes.

 

C.

[Stephanie]

How terrible for you.

 

Being an Aspie you might not feel comfortable talking to one of those helplines, but you need to talk to someone ... maybe if it is easier for you to converse in text you should put your trust in one of your friends on here.

 

Please have as little contact as possible with this man in the future, when he collects your kids, don't invite him in again, have them waiting at the door ... or have someone else with you in the house if possible.

 

Be strong. We all care.

[mrs phasmid]

my sympathies go out to you anita

BUT

you really should try to get some help from professionals, to help you get through this and to help you realise it is not your fault

 

can i suggest the following may be helpful

 

http://www.crimereduction.gov.uk/domesticv...cviolence40.htm

 

or

 

http://www.samaritans.org.uk

 

or

 

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

 

they all can support you and your family. after all if he could do this to you, and your going to trust your kids with him, what else could he do?

 

dont leave it until its to late for you, your kids or the next poor woman he decides to do it to

 

<Edited by Kris 1319 12-01-07>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

i don't think there's any right way or wrong way to cope with a difficult situation. I know that some people (including myself) go into a kind of 'auto pilot' and often the enormity of an experience doesn't hit home for a wee while. I'm so glad that your ex is out of your life. It may be a time of uncertainly and you may be concerned about how you'll cope on your own. You know what? .... you'll cope because you have to. This is the start of the rest of your life. Don't look too far ahead, just take a day at a time.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.