Just had a nightmare in the super market

[stressedmumto2]

Why oh why oh why............I feel absoloutly drained now.

 

Just went to he supermarket with my boy as needed to get some food, money is really tight atthe mo' so he's had to go without which has never been that much of a problem in the past but today it was.

 

First of all we bumped into a lady I knew her son is also currently off school so we started to have a chat her boy adhd goes off to getthe ballons gives one to my lad and they start acting bit silly, like boys do. Then my boy had some cereal things in his pocket and kicks one on the floor, it hit's a woman who was very angry so he said sorry but in the kind of I'm only saying sorry cos i'm meant to and she knew it.

 

Stoopped talking to other lady and me and son continued with shopping then all hell breaks lose he see's something he wants I say he can't have it today but find out how much it costs and then we can save up money for it, but he wont, by this time we are at checkout he has thrown a small pizza base on floor and stamping on it all cos I wouldn't buy him the supid toy, then he tries to throw carrots at me, some woman walks past and has a go at him. Then it get's worse, he's trying to punch me hit me bite me etc, also try to run off with trolley.... had to try and hold him, he was lying on floor managed to get him up off floo, still trying to hold him and get out of shop eventually get toy out of his grip, everyone staring me trying to hold him at this time he's danger to himself and everyone. Where the bloomin hell do they gettheir strength from? he's only 8 but come acroos like he was about 10 which makes things like this look worse.

 

Kind lady behind till offers to get my shopping to car but I think it was done in a way let's get her out of here.

 

I'm crying my eyes out as the stares all get too much, I can handle son doing this kind of thing now but the stares, whispers are still all too much. Then some kind sophisticated lady asked if I wanted help and said without me saying anything it's ok I have a special needs child, she was so calm with my son even when he was trying to attack her, people still staring etc. Then this lady and myself struggled to help him into car whilst he was kicking my car, she was so kind didn't even ask what his problems were I didn't need to say she just knew he had some special needs, she kept reassuring me your'e doing a good job I have an older child with specail needs who used to do this, she was also saying to him mum is trying to hold you so you don't hurt yourself.

 

I managed to get home and he was stiull going into one although know he's calmed and is in his room, all this for a stupid toy that only cost about �2.00.

 

I think I am going to write a little something to our local freebie paper to say thank you to her, someone sokind just gave me that little bit of strength today.

 

Why is it though it would only be someone who's gone through it before who offers to help and doesn't look down at you?

 

Sorry for the long ramble

[smiley]

Oh hun i can remember several times when i've driven home in tears - your right, the behaviour i can deal with - it's the stares and whispers that get you <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

What a lovely lady though Even though the horrible stares and whispers break your heart - when you do come along someone so thoughtful, and helpful - it helps, doesn't it.

 

<'> Hope he's settled a little now <'>

[Alexandra]

Why oh why oh why............I feel absoloutly drained now.

 

Just went to he supermarket with my boy as needed to get some food, money is really tight atthe mo' so he's had to go without which has never been that much of a problem in the past but today it was.

 

First of all we bumped into a lady I knew her son is also currently off school so we started to have a chat her boy adhd goes off to getthe ballons gives one to my lad and they start acting bit silly, like boys do. Then my boy had some cereal things in his pocket and kicks one on the floor, it hit's a woman who was very angry so he said sorry but in the kind of I'm only saying sorry cos i'm meant to and she knew it.

 

Stoopped talking to other lady and me and son continued with shopping then all hell breaks lose he see's something he wants I say he can't have it today but find out how much it costs and then we can save up money for it, but he wont, by this time we are at checkout he has thrown a small pizza base on floor and stamping on it all cos I wouldn't buy him the supid toy, then he tries to throw carrots at me, some woman walks past and has a go at him. Then it get's worse, he's trying to punch me hit me bite me etc, also try to run off with trolley.... had to try and hold him, he was lying on floor managed to get him up off floo, still trying to hold him and get out of shop eventually get toy out of his grip, everyone staring me trying to hold him at this time he's danger to himself and everyone. Where the bloomin hell do they gettheir strength from? he's only 8 but come acroos like he was about 10 which makes things like this look worse.

 

Kind lady behind till offers to get my shopping to car but I think it was done in a way let's get her out of here.

 

I'm crying my eyes out as the stares all get too much, I can handle son doing this kind of thing now but the stares, whispers are still all too much. Then some kind sophisticated lady asked if I wanted help and said without me saying anything it's ok I have a special needs child, she was so calm with my son even when he was trying to attack her, people still staring etc. Then this lady and myself struggled to help him into car whilst he was kicking my car, she was so kind didn't even ask what his problems were I didn't need to say she just knew he had some special needs, she kept reassuring me your'e doing a good job I have an older child with specail needs who used to do this, she was also saying to him mum is trying to hold you so you don't hurt yourself.

 

I managed to get home and he was stiull going into one although know he's calmed and is in his room, all this for a stupid toy that only cost about �2.00.

 

I think I am going to write a little something to our local freebie paper to say thank you to her, someone sokind just gave me that little bit of strength today.

 

Why is it though it would only be someone who's gone through it before who offers to help and doesn't look down at you?

 

Sorry for the long ramble

 

 

 

This happened to me the other day M ( 8 adhd & HFA) wanted a drink, as we were going into the shop

 

i said he could get some water, not coke as he wanted, well he kicked me, punched me, called me names

 

all round the shop, it was awful, my sympathies hun, its the stares that get to me as well, its "your a bad

 

parent attitude" that does it as well.

 

And how lovely of that lady definatley an Angel, shame more people aren't like that xxxx

[dooday24]

i went through the same with reece the other day it is deffinetly the other peoples attitudes that get to u, but there are also some good people out there as well hope u r feeling abit better now sending u loads of <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> love donnaxx

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Bet most of us on this forum have been through what you went through today at the supermarket (I know I have once or twice!!!). One thing that's lovely is that a complete stranger helped you out - that restores my faith in human nature. I'll bet those standing in the queue will have been given food for thought (and may well even be feeling a little guilty!?). You're not superhuman and from time to time you're bound to break down in tears (again, I know I have once or twice or three ...). The main thing is that you got through that experience today, even if it wasn't pleasant. You're still around to tell the tale and I'll bet you'll be feeling a little stronger for it. Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[phoebe]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Well done you, and thank heavens for small mercies in the form of local angels!

 

Similar thing happened to me the other day too - it was over a paper decoration in a restaurant. He wanted another one, I told him that he couldn't keep going and asking for stuff and that the people were busy......he asked could he just get this one, I said no that he wasn't to etc etc. Next thing I know, he is holding 3 more in his hand and saying "see they gave me three anywaaaaaay."

 

Paper decorations are not the issue!!! I kept asking why I hadn't just let him ask for one!!! From the histrionics that followed, it surely wasn't worth the public spectacle or the bruises.......

 

I hope you are feeling a bit better now and that you know we are all out here to listen and try to help in any way

 

Take care of you

X

[Valiant_Skylark]

<'> <'> <'> Stressedmumto2

 

Your post brought a lump to my throat and tears pricking as I remembered many a time when I felt just like you did. Tough times...but the times do get a bit easier as the children get older and eventually have that much more understanding.

 

In the meantime, it can be a real challenge. I don't know what is worse - dealing with the child... or the ignorance of the bystanders!

 

Thank goodness for the quiet kindness of the lovely person who stopped to help so skillfully. What a wonderful lady. I hope you have a better shopping trip next time. (I'll admit, I ended up keeping shopping to a "smash and grab" in those early years; Perhaps internet shopping is less fraught? People tell me they spend less this way despite the delivery fee, but I've never got into it).

 

Hope tomorrow is better.

 

VS xx

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Also brought back vivid memories of my son aged around 8 years old .been there many many a time with every one tutting,commenting,my son screaming yelling punching me in tears basically armagedon v asda or any other store where the mood took him............

 

Thing is and i know it aint easy but the fact most are saying brings back "Memories" shows these kind of outburst do eventually get less and less.my son is now 13 and hardley ever has a major meltdown because i can reason with him more.I thought at the time all those years ago wed never reach this stage...........Also as time goes on you learn to toughen yer skin and think stuff yer to the onlookers and although its not like water of a ducks back it gets pretty close................

 

Take care.........Youll laugh about it later.you will.beleive me we laugh at the horros our son put us through now and we thought we never would.

[jlp]

Hugs for you -we too have been there and being the centre of attention is horrible.

 

What a lovely kind lady.

[butterfingersbimbo]

i think people dont understand this kind of situation unless they have been there themselves.....what a nice idea to write a thankyou to the local paper! <'>

[stressedmumto2]

In teas reading these kind messages. The lady was wonderfull who helped me today and yeah I think some others may have thought after especially the assistant who was tring to get us out the shop.

 

I'm not laughing abou it just yet as I thought these days were behind us, we've not had public meltdown for a month or so perhaps longer. I think if he's not having repeated meltdowns every night for 3, 4 nights lasting couple of hoursthen we are over the worse, how wrong can I be?

 

I think what made it worse was it was during school hours, I bet it gave all them shocked people the idea that and he's not even at school, I wonder why ?

 

got to go , he's back now

 

thanks again poeple <'>