School dilema

[fairynormal]

My son has been out of school for 2 months now. (long story!) About 3 or 4 weeks ago the SEN panel met and came up with a list of 4 schools they felt were suitable for his needs which are very complex. 2 were LEA special schools which are both full to capacity until September with huge waiting lists. I have visited one and didn't think it was sutable and the other school, as well as being full hasn't got the staff capacity to have my son there. The 3rd is a local LEA Junior school with an integrated resource. They say they cannot have him there because of his complex needs and again because of staffing levels. I went to visit the last school on Thursday which is an out of town N.A.S school. It is the most amazing place I have ever seen with wonderful staff and out of this world facilities. The deputy head said they felt they could only take him in their inclusion unit but that is already oversubscribed with no places coming up at all. They are going to re-look at his case and talk to his docs as my son is so different now he has been on Risperidone for a couple of months. He is like a different child and so eager to get back to school.

 

The only thing is that I have a real dilema should he be offered a place. I will try to word this so not to cause offence to anyone as I sincerely don't mean it that way. From looking round the school, it seems that a lot of the pupils are on the more severe end of the spectrum. Some have very poor or no language skills, lots walk round wearing ear muffs/headphones to block out any noise etc. My son has Aspergers but is the complete opposite almost. He is very very lively, talks for England although more often than not, very innapropriately because of his communication issues and is very sociable. Although he is slightly behind academically, this is mainly because of his motor skills (he can't write properly) he doesn't have any major learning disabilities or anything along those lines.

 

My worry is twofold really. One part is that we live a fair distance from the school so he is unlikely to make any friends who he will see socially out of school as the pupils come from all over to attend. Secondly, will he actually make friends? His potential key stage has just 5 pupils so there aren't many children to start with. What if these children have very poor or no language skills? The opportunities for him to build friendships will be severely limited. I am not saying that children with severe autism cannot build friendships or are somehow inferior to my son ( this really isn't coming across as I mean it!) what I am trying to say is that I want him to go to a school that can cater for his very complex needs but where he can make friends who are on his level so socially he gets something out of it too. He is a great kid who chats to anyone and everyone regardless of what they are like. He made friends with a much older (18/19) boy on the park last week who had learning disabilities and severe langauge problems. They were laughing and giggling and racing on the swings together which was fantastic to watch.

 

As it appears that none of our local schools will take him (mainly because of his mental health problems and his aggression) so this school feels like our last chance. I do think he would gain so much from being there but don't want that to come with a downside.

 

I hope I havn't offended anyone with this post as it really wasn't my intention.

 

Thanks

 

Sam x

[elun1]

Hi Sam

My ds is at the severe end of the spectrum with Severe Learning Difficulties and I know what you mean. He is certainly not able to form or maintain friendships and this is one of the reasons I've been happy not to follow the 'inclusion' route with a mainstream placement for him. There would really be no point. If he was more able, however then I know I'd feel differently. IMO your ds needs the opportunity to form friendships (with support) and although the NAS school has wonderful resources if your instinct is that it isn't for him then you're probably right. My niece is also autistic and has OCD too and she is far higher functioning than my ds. A special school placement wasn't right for her and she is presently in secondary mainstream with a supportive TA. She is forming friendships with some help. This wasn't the case when she was in autism specific provision.

hth Elun xxxx

[mbrown]

Sam, I would concern myself with getting the school place of my choice before worrying about the friendship thing.

 

Even if you lived next door to the school , that would be no guarantee he would make any friends anyway.

 

Good Luck with your scool quest.

 

MB

[pim]

Hi,

 

I completely understand. It's so difficult knowing which school is the right place for our children. One HT said to me it's about finding the closest fit as there is no best fit.

 

Apart from outlining the difficulties your DS would have in getting a place, you haven't said out of the 4 you visited which one would be the one you could imagine your child going to.

 

I'm in that situation in trying to find a suitable placement for DS. He struggles in mainstream. His teacher thinks he shouldn't be there as she has no experience in how to handle him. Then I looked at MLD schools and I didn't think DS was as far down the spectrum as the other children who attended. I've been pulled in 2 directions from school saying he should be in special school to the Autism Advisor, Ed pysch and his Paeditrician saying he should be in mainstream.

 

In the end it's about finding a place where your child would be happiest.

 

pim

[julieann]

My son has been out of school for 2 months now. (long story!) About 3 or 4 weeks ago the SEN panel met and came up with a list of 4 schools they felt were suitable for his needs which are very complex. 2 were LEA special schools which are both full to capacity until September with huge waiting lists. I have visited one and didn't think it was sutable and the other school, as well as being full hasn't got the staff capacity to have my son there. The 3rd is a local LEA Junior school with an integrated resource. They say they cannot have him there because of his complex needs and again because of staffing levels. I went to visit the last school on Thursday which is an out of town N.A.S school. It is the most amazing place I have ever seen with wonderful staff and out of this world facilities. The deputy head said they felt they could only take him in their inclusion unit but that is already oversubscribed with no places coming up at all. They are going to re-look at his case and talk to his docs as my son is so different now he has been on Risperidone for a couple of months. He is like a different child and so eager to get back to school.

 

The only thing is that I have a real dilema should he be offered a place. I will try to word this so not to cause offence to anyone as I sincerely don't mean it that way. From looking round the school, it seems that a lot of the pupils are on the more severe end of the spectrum. Some have very poor or no language skills, lots walk round wearing ear muffs/headphones to block out any noise etc. My son has Aspergers but is the complete opposite almost. He is very very lively, talks for England although more often than not, very innapropriately because of his communication issues and is very sociable. Although he is slightly behind academically, this is mainly because of his motor skills (he can't write properly) he doesn't have any major learning disabilities or anything along those lines.

 

My worry is twofold really. One part is that we live a fair distance from the school so he is unlikely to make any friends who he will see socially out of school as the pupils come from all over to attend. Secondly, will he actually make friends? His potential key stage has just 5 pupils so there aren't many children to start with. What if these children have very poor or no language skills? The opportunities for him to build friendships will be severely limited. I am not saying that children with severe autism cannot build friendships or are somehow inferior to my son ( this really isn't coming across as I mean it!) what I am trying to say is that I want him to go to a school that can cater for his very complex needs but where he can make friends who are on his level so socially he gets something out of it too. He is a great kid who chats to anyone and everyone regardless of what they are like. He made friends with a much older (18/19) boy on the park last week who had learning disabilities and severe langauge problems. They were laughing and giggling and racing on the swings together which was fantastic to watch.

 

As it appears that none of our local schools will take him (mainly because of his mental health problems and his aggression) so this school feels like our last chance. I do think he would gain so much from being there but don't want that to come with a downside.

 

I hope I havn't offended anyone with this post as it really wasn't my intention.

 

Thanks

 

Sam x

Hi Sam,

As well as being a parent of son 17 ASD I am also ASD support for a year 8 pupil with A/S. I work in an all girls mainstream secondary school. My pupil sounds similar to your son. Especially the talking for England. She seems so intelligent but the reality is she actually understands so little unless it is of interest to her.

Year 7 went very well for K.

Everyone in class wanted to look after her. They joined in with " Who finds the lesson boring and wants to go home lists " They loved it when K stood up in a lesson and started reading all the girls off the register in the teachers voice that she had memorised.

When K went to listen to the music in the hall instead of going to lessons they all wanted to go and find her.

 

Year 8 is a different story all together. Most of the girls who are now year 8 matured in the summer holidays and K's mental age hasn't altered since she came to the school in year 7. When K disrupts the lessons now instead of joining in with her or laughing they tell her they want to get on with their work and K thinks that means they aren't her friends anymore.

She is so confused and distressed. She has started to see that she does things slower than the other girls or can't do some things at all. We move classes every 45 mins and are on three different levels.The school was built to house 600 pupils and we have 1,040. The corridors are overcrowded and noisy.

 

Dispite my intervention were I can K is upset everyday. She started reading books in the library about bullying and know thinks she is being bullied. One of the girls in her class has a very expressive face and if she looks at K and smiles it is perceived by K as bullying.

Obviously it isn't my call but I know that K would be so much happier in an A/S school. She doesn't understand what friendships are and thinks that anyone who responds to her is her friend. I can't watch her all day as at the moment I only support her for 10 hours a week. Both myself and one of K's teachers have noticed some very unsuitable girls trying to befriend her. She is so vunerable in this school.

 

Hope this helps.

Julieann.

[JsMum]

Hi in our area we have a few special schools that none would suit J and similair children the first one is for severe learning disabilities with or without phsical disabilties, one for EBD, children who dont cater for ASD children at all, and then there is a school for Autism who are non verbal and lower end of the spectrum.

 

all our special schools are over subscribed and long waiting lists and in our area statements are becoming less and less so getting into a special school is harder.

 

There is a few schools that are spercific Aspergers syndrome and Higher functioning ASD and these are run by the PRIORY group and there is a chance your LEA would fund them if all the special schools are full and over subscribed so do access this as another possible chance.

 

Members here know of other independant groups as well, so I am sure some links could be assessable here if anyone knows of them or pm you with the details.

 

Gabattas have a list of spercific special schools as well, mostly independant with some charitable run ones.

 

So have a look on the website for special schools in the uk.

 

Good Luck.

 

JsMum

[Kazzen161]

I would also say look at independent AS specific schools.

 

Karen

[JoolieDoolie]

Hi there, I have a high functioning autistic son who is 5 years old (diagnosed at 4 yrs). He is in mainstream and doing v. well. He does have social problems, but he does COPY the other children as he wants to be sociable. Basically, he is learning through copying. How old is your son?

 

We live in West Yorkshire and have just been v. lucky with getting a good primary school with an inclusion policy. He is on action plus, but we are trying to get a statement for him.

[fairynormal]

Thanks everyone.

 

My son is 10 at the end of the month and is in Y5. Things are complicated because he just isn't AS. He has Tourette's, Severe OCD and anxiety, ADHD, sensory integration difficulties and motor learning difficulties. He is very paranoid and can be verbally and physically very agressive.

 

We have basically no local schools that can cater for his complexities. The special schools are mainly for children with severe physical or learning difficulties and the ones who do take AS kids are all full and say they couldn't have him anyway because of his other problems. They have to look at how his behaviour would effect the other kids too. Most schools run a mile when they hear the phrases 'mental health' and 'agression'. In his mainstream placement he had a statement of just 9 hours (standard for speech and communication) which was advertised twice with no applicants. No-one wants to work for just 9 hours a week do they and anyone who is qualified to work with someone like my son is already doing so in the special schools etc. The job ended up going to a part time TA who was really lovely but had no idea how to work with him.

 

As far as I am aware the only other relatively local school who can cater for my son is the one I visted on Thursday. It is run by The National Autistic Society so isn't an LEA school. There doesn't seem to be anything else at all round here. It gets even worse at senior level! Mainstream has plodded along okish up until now but he does need to be in an environment with staff who actually understand about AS, TS, OCD etc. There are times that he just cannot cope in the classroom, he gets so anxious and fidgets and makes noises. He constantly turns round because his paranoia makes he feel he is being watched and followed all the time. He won't even go to the toilet by himself at school as he is convinced that someone will be waiting to get him in the toilets. He can never sit still or be quiet, laughs innapropriately and makes innapropriate comments all the time. The teachers just can't handle this and have such little understanding of him. He deserves so much better but where?

 

I suppose I should wait for feedback from the school and the LEA and take it from there really. His case is sort of high profile within the local council as our local MP and the Chief exec director of childrens services are involved in my complaint against social services and have taken it upon themselves to make sure he gets an appropriate school place too. They are concerned that he has been out of school for 2 months now and are kicking up a big fuss with the LEA.

 

My head is in a spin as all I want is him to go somewhere where he will be understood, encouraged and most of all happy.

[pepper]

My head is in a spin as all I want is him to go somewhere where he will be understood, encouraged and most of all happy.

we all do ! regardless of our childrens range of disabilities, we are in the same boat, i dont actually think there is such a thing as a perfect school LOL more - whats the best that our kids can gell along with and fit in....

 

i oft feel out of kilter as my lad - almost fits in ( on the surface ) ....*cough* all i can say is - i think - u get a gut instinct when a school is 'almost right' - I generally feel that our children wont ever 'slot in' but im all for inclusion when its accepable and child can cope, after all - we want our kids to fit into life....and school life is part and parcel of the genreal lifecycle- with the issues of social intergration - i personally feel - it starts here, unless its affecting confidence. |I have to say - my son is at a mainstream selective school and bar the 1st year - hes been accepted - as an individual *cough* and wink ....

 

hopefully u can find the right schooling fror ur boy

[fairynormal]

Thanks again everyone for your input ....... it's much apreciated.

 

After thinking it through and chatting to my sons Dcotors etc, we are all in agreement that this school, as amazing as it is, is not the right place for him to go to. I think he would benefit so much from the low stim environment and the experteese of the staff but not at the expense of being a happy, sociable little boy.

 

I spoke to the case officer at the LEA today and she was in agreement too. She thinks he would be best placed in one of the local LEA special schools who deal with Autism and so do his docs. I have visited the school and was very impressed. He already has a good friendship with a boy who goes there so that is another plus point. The only downside is that it is full to capacity until September and the head really wasn't keen on taking him anyway. The case officer suggested him going back to the mainstream school on a part time basis with increased support. I am not adverse to this either. If he went back for mornings only he wouldn't need to be with his class teacher (who is intollerant, flippant and uncaring) as he would be in maths and literacy sets. If the LEA were prepared to pay �68000 a year to send him to the NAS school then surely they can't complain at funding a properly qualified support worker for 15 hours a week!!!

 

I spoke to the head at the mainstream school this afternon who obviously was NOT impressed at the thought of him coming back. She had alsorts of reasons why he shouldn't be there, most of which were pretty silly and grasping at straws reasons really. Everyone is going to get together and see what is best ASAP.

 

Thanks again. It's so brilliant to be able to talk things through with other knowledgable parents who can offer an impartial perspective but one where they do understand the issues.

 

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[scrappybunny]

I read your post and could have written the very same thing about my situation, My son has been home for 2 years and the LEA have only suggested one place. He can be aggressive and that worries people (at schools) although its only when he's anxious (big anxiety probls), so they do really need people that understand

 

hope you get something sorted soon Sam

Edited March 21, 2007 by scrappybunny

[Bambi]

Yep same here ur story is soooooooooo similar to mine. T hasnt been at school for 5 months and in the process of getting him statemented but we all know the LEA can do as they please

 

I too went to visit 2 special schools (only 2 in my area) one was more of physically disabled children even tho they had autistic pupils and the school did have a nice feel about it but it wasnt for T (so i know what u mean) then i went to see the other one (this is further away) and its ideal for T. They work with 3 mainstream schools in the area and the pupils go there so many hours a week and the pupils from mainstream come into their school too how great is that! and it has many kids with AS/ASD and the head of the school is lovely.

 

The LEA are aware of Ts situation not that they can find the time to provide him with home tuition which our GP has advise them to do and now T is on Risperidone too the centre that dx him says he needs a special school (i knew this for over a year now) so i will have that to back me up but its such a long hall trying so hard to get the education our kids to suit their individual needs

 

I hope u find a way hun and ur son gets the education he so rightly deserves, thinking of ya <'>

 

Bambi x