seek a diagnosis??

[elun1]

Hi

I've been thinking about this for ages but I just can't decide whether to have my eldest assessed for A.S.

W is 7, v.v bright particularly with Maths (he's yr2 but can easily do yr5 work - he only has to be shown something once and he's got it) reading and spelling ages of 11 although language pieces of work requiring creativity and imagination are a real challenge. He often doesn't 'get' inference and sarcasm but in other ways is extremely articulate, particularly where a subject interests him. He developed sort of within normal limits though as a toddler he would go through obsessions such as clocks and hoovers and various others. These have faded away but been replaced with other more appropriate interests e.g. football, making planes, snooker etc He does have a few friends but isn't really popular as he is very quirky and relentlessly outspoken e.g. he'd quite openly tell a friend he wanted him to go as he was tired of playing with him. He also often talks in a rude tone but states he doesn't see it as rude. He is quite unaware of hierarchy and will happily challenge any adult/teacher if he believes them to be wrong. Despite his academic ability he is often in a lot of trouble at school for bad attitude, and problems with poor attention. The thing is the teachers including the head think he's fine (though naughty) but is attention seeking as my youngest O who is 6 is severely autistic with SLD. I find this sort of attitude v frustrating and I just wonder how much support W would actually get even if we got diagnosis. He doesn't really need help with his work but on the other hand his self esteem is quite low. He is sensitive in some ways and often anxious. If he was a child in my own class (I'm a teacher) then I would probably have called parents in by now to have a chat re his behaviour/differences but I have the feeling the school think I'm neurotic (they could be right I suppose!!)

Another huge problem is my dh. I'm afraid tgo even talk to him about this. He took ds2's autism so hard and it nearly broke us as a couple and we're not out of the woods yet.

What do you think? Any advice or opinions are very welcome

Thankyou

Elunxx

[SarahSH]

Hi Elun

sounds like you're under pressure. Tough situation, especially if it's hard to discuss with his dad. (I know what you mean there)

 

Would a diagnosis help? is the main question.

 

If it would mean they take his learning style more into account it might be helpful - perhaps he tunes out if overstimulated with too much going on?

 

It's really frustrating when they insist on seeing it as OK or not OK! he might be OK, but still be AS!

Wouldn't it be great if teachers were taught to be sensitive to the possibility of autistic type traits, which need careful handling, without treating it like an illness someone either has or hasn't got. And acting like if they have got it, they must be mentally ill and not very bright. It seems to me to be much more a way of thinking and looking at the world. With my AS son there's an over-sensitivity to some things, and an unnegotiable sense of truth, which means what is true is true, regardless of who says it. He's actually extraordinarily perceptive, even about people, which he's not supposed to be with an AS diagnosis.

 

At least we're all in the same boat, up the same creek with or without paddles

take care

Sarah

[mrs fussy]

Hi

I've been thinking about this for ages but I just can't decide whether to have my eldest assessed for A.S.

W is 7, v.v bright particularly with Maths (he's yr2 but can easily do yr5 work - he only has to be shown something once and he's got it) reading and spelling ages of 11 although language pieces of work requiring creativity and imagination are a real challenge. He often doesn't 'get' inference and sarcasm but in other ways is extremely articulate, particularly where a subject interests him. He developed sort of within normal limits though as a toddler he would go through obsessions such as clocks and hoovers and various others. These have faded away but been replaced with other more appropriate interests e.g. football, making planes, snooker etc He does have a few friends but isn't really popular as he is very quirky and relentlessly outspoken e.g. he'd quite openly tell a friend he wanted him to go as he was tired of playing with him. He also often talks in a rude tone but states he doesn't see it as rude. He is quite unaware of hierarchy and will happily challenge any adult/teacher if he believes them to be wrong. Despite his academic ability he is often in a lot of trouble at school for bad attitude, and problems with poor attention. The thing is the teachers including the head think he's fine (though naughty) but is attention seeking as my youngest O who is 6 is severely autistic with SLD. I find this sort of attitude v frustrating and I just wonder how much support W would actually get even if we got diagnosis. He doesn't really need help with his work but on the other hand his self esteem is quite low. He is sensitive in some ways and often anxious. If he was a child in my own class (I'm a teacher) then I would probably have called parents in by now to have a chat re his behaviour/differences but I have the feeling the school think I'm neurotic (they could be right I suppose!!)

Another huge problem is my dh. I'm afraid tgo even talk to him about this. He took ds2's autism so hard and it nearly broke us as a couple and we're not out of the woods yet.

What do you think? Any advice or opinions are very welcome

Thankyou

Elunxx

Hi Elun you seem to be in the same predicament as me except its the school wanting a dianosis, we are quite happy with the way eh is and it is really difficult knowing what to do your son sounds exactly like mine the only problem is this year he has come up against a very difficult teacher who has the heads full backing and this has ended in exclusion for my son and a whole term of part time education which has done some serious damage to the social side of his life at school and it wasnt brilliant before, im not even sure now if my son is AS or if he is 'gifted' sorry i do feel uncomfortable with that word, i will soon be having an appt with CAMHS and the ed psych said based on everything he probably would get a diagnosis but im not sure if he shaould as these traits dont have any real effect on his life at home, and then would school just use this as an excuse for everything as i sometimes wonder if he is just bored and unable to realy get on well with his peers because he is so far ahead intellectually, i mean he has us baffled most of the time so what chance do they stand. Why dont teachers well some just take kids for who they really are and accept it Mr F x

Edited July 3, 2007 by mrs fussy

[elun1]

Thanks

I was also wondering exactly how easy people have found it to get a diagnosis for their AS children? For my little one it was dead easy as he is so severe (classic Kanner's autism) but W, if he is on the spectrum at all, would be AS

Thanks Elun xxx

[krystaltps]

Hi, I kind of know how this one feels, as I've often wondered whether or not to seek dx for DS2. He certainly has AS traits, but is much less severe than his brother (dx AS). I think for me, at the moment I'm happy to let things lie as R is doing fine socially. He can have problems with figurative speech, and is very obsessive, but just now, these issues don't interfere with quality of life. Also, DH would not cope with it! He's only just starting to get his head round C's dx and R is his "golden boy".

With regards to ease of dx for C - it was easy for us. I had held off so long, and no-one really had quality of life at the time, he was faced with exclusion at school. It is a long road though, but certainly worthwhile for C.

[phoebe]

Hi

hugs to you - elun.

My son also sounds very similar to yours. His early schooling was very unsettled and for many years I think that the professionals (I use that term loosely) at his school just thought we were a simple case of bad parenting.

As he became older his unusual behaviour became less and less "ordinary" or acceptable, but he was just seen as being a clever and manipulative child.

It took many referrals from our GP to finally get an appt to CAMHS' clinical psychologist. They would not see us until the school had ticked all the boxes in terms of requesting EP assessment, referral to EOTAS etc, but finally they saw us and he received a diagnosis. In his diagnosis, she states that he is academicaly at least 2 years above his year group and that as well as looking into AS we should investigate the "gifted and talented" (never really found much aboutnit though).

Finally, two years after diagnosis, we eventually received a statement for him despite the fact that he is still performing 2 years + above his year group, and we now fight for a placement for him that can fulfil his needs (review tomorrow)!

So...........the answer to your question depends on:

how the school are with him anyway - are they supportive? do they see a need to treat him any differently, are they employing any techniques to help him to overcome his stresses? Do you think that his needs will become greater as when going to primary the children are required to do more group work and the kids are required to be more responsible for themselves..... loads of issues I cant write all down. If you have answered yes to any of these - maybe you have answered your own question?

 

My son was first diagnosed at 6, almost 7. Although it had been apparent for a long time before that thathe was different.

 

If you want to chat - pm me and I will give you my number

Love and hugs

Phoebe

[Bagpuss]

Hi Elun,

 

We faced a similar situation with our eldest dd (9). When our youngest was dx with ASD we had concerns re our eldest dd but we sat on them. She had been dx ASD at 2, and the dx was later reversed, much to our relief. However, as she became older we noticed more and more "quirky" behaviour. She is extremely bright and very academic. The school had very few issues with her, other than they felt she was like an old fashioned little girl, could be a little aloof etc. To them she was a model pupil, mainly because she followed rules rigidly, so she would do as she was told, without question, and would "tell" on her friends if they didn't. We wondered if we would gain anything by seeking a dx, and were dealing with the devastation of our youngest dx. It was easier at the time, to do nothing about it, and we continually told ourselves that she was doing ok at school, so a dx wouldn't be of any help, and we also felt that because it was so subtle, no one would agree with us that she had AS. What made us decide to take it further was the thought of her at secondary school. We've always felt that this would be a difficult time for dd, that she would struggle to fit in, to be accepted, to cope with a huge setting etc, she doesn't "get" fashion etc.......I also got some advice from adults with AS, and we made a decision to seek dx. We spoke to our youngest dd's peadiatrician, outlined our concerns and asked if he felt we were right to have the possiblity of AS investigating, and he agreed we should. He suggested we ask our GP for a referral to him, which we did. He saw dd and did dx AS.

 

Take care <'> <'>

[smallworld]

Hi Elun.

Your son sounds exactly like our eldest, 11, younger brother has dx ASD.

We began the dx process when he was in year 6 worrying about the amount of trouble he is going to get into at Secondary.

I wish we'd started the process in Yr 2 when school were seeing us weekly about his behaviour.

Actually no, I wish we started the process when he was 2 or 3 and I asked our HV if she thought he could be autistic.

'He's just a boy' was the reply.....

Good luck whatever you decide,

Smallworld

[elun1]

<'> <'> Thanks ever so much everyone

Got to run late for work!!! xxx

[MichelleW]

If only diagnosis was so simple! My eldest is 7, and it was a struggle to get him diagnosed (though to me he was obviously autistic before the age of 3) . Now my youngest is showing similar development and I'm just not getting anywhere. And I'm having the same problems with DP not thinking anything is unusual with his development, or anything unusual about a 2.5 year old taking a car manual to nursery!

 

Yes, DS2 may be talking by the time he gets to school, but though he isn't showing all the other severe autistic signs, he is definitely more aggressive and defiant (than his older brother) and is likely to be more problematic at school, so I'd rather have a diagnosis sooner rather than later.

[wishingwell]

This is a very awkward situation without the support of his dad.

 

You need to decide how he will benefit from having a dx of AS, with how you feel he will cope throughout his school life without it. It is a long process and would you be looking to have him statemented. There are many advantages to having a statement including TA's when necessary for sorting, preparing and helping him understand school work also help with transport. Having a TA has never had a bad effect on my son the rest of the class have always excepted her as the whole class's TA because when my son doesn't need her she goes off and helps the other children. I feel it is better to have the help! needed or not, than to need it and not have it, if that makes sense. He is starting grammar school this September. His dad had a lot of issues with the dx of AS, we then found out dad has it too! And this summer he is now telling everyone his son takes after him! This is after years of me trying to convince him I was doing what was best for our son.

Are there any other members of your families that have autism or show signs?

 

A lot of people have come through the system without a dx of AS their opinions and experiences would be beneficial too you at this time.

 

Good Luck and do what you feel is best for your son. <'> <'> <'>

 

I feel a crstal ball would be lovely sometimes!

[madme]

I think what everyone has said is spot on. For us with Ds (11)we had no choice once investigations started the labels kept coming. With Dd (6) only recently dx I have had ups and downs. Im sure that what we did was right as secondary school is likely to be problematic as may KS2. After reading Martian in the Playground and Pretending to Be Normal I realised that I too would have benefited perhaps from a dx as my DD is so like me her mum. Im sure her teachers see us as over protective parents. They allude to the difficulties but appear to resist telling it like it is. Good luck