Do you mind?

[Mumble]

This is going to annoy me if I don't ask and I know you lot if I've been a complete idiot and misunderstood the situation will tell me and explain it without laughing at me

 

Walking to get my bus at the end of today outside the station - really busy, lots of people going in all sorts of directions, interesting new streetlamps to negotiate my way around - exactly the sort of situation I have real problems with because I can't judge my way through the crowd or where things are and I usually end up walking into lamp-posts, corners of buildings etc. Anyway today, v. tired, huge headache, not fully concentrating, I walked into a woman who had decided to stop in front of me (makes a change from a lamp-post ). She turned to me and said "Do you mind?" to which my immediate answer, trying to be polite, was "no" - I did actually mind that I'd bumped into her (it's incredibally frustrating) but I didn't want her to think I'd minded that she'd stopped. However, I get the impression from her 'big tut' and stomping off that I got it wrong. My tutor for instance will tell me about things that are going to change and say "do you mind?" which warrants a yes/no answer, but what's the right answer here?

[paulathomson]

This is going to annoy me if I don't ask and I know you lot if I've been a complete idiot and misunderstood the situation will tell me and explain it without laughing at me

 

Walking to get my bus at the end of today outside the station - really busy, lots of people going in all sorts of directions, interesting new streetlamps to negotiate my way around - exactly the sort of situation I have real problems with because I can't judge my way through the crowd or where things are and I usually end up walking into lamp-posts, corners of buildings etc. Anyway today, v. tired, huge headache, not fully concentrating, I walked into a woman who had decided to stop in front of me (makes a change from a lamp-post ). She turned to me and said "Do you mind?" to which my immediate answer, trying to be polite, was "no" - I did actually mind that I'd bumped into her (it's incredibally frustrating) but I didn't want her to think I'd minded that she'd stopped. However, I get the impression from her 'big tut' and stomping off that I got it wrong. My tutor for instance will tell me about things that are going to change and say "do you mind?" which warrants a yes/no answer, but what's the right answer here?

 

 

her comment was a sarcastic remark which is ''supposed to iniate you saying sorry for bumping into her''. however.. i would have said exactly the same as you..maybe even something like '' no i dont mind you stopping and causing me to bump you..''

[JsMum]

I have had the same done to me too, and at times I get very confused as what to say, for the first few mins I am trying to fathum what actually happened and weighing who should say sorry first, or get annoyed I have said sorry when it wasnt my fault, the fact she stopped suddenly what was she exspecting, if she had been a car she would of had her hind in a mess, sometimes people just cant walk in a straight enough line, or walk so slow you run over them nearly, J is always getting into my space when we walk because he isnt considering other peoples warp ways when out, other times it is J who has caused a real bump, as J likes to aviod the lines in squares and gets very active near anything that can be used as a springboard to jump off high into the air so to aviod having a collision with him, I often have a collision with others people too, so sometimes it is my fault too.

 

I can relate to your situation very well.

 

JsMum

[Karen A]

Hi Mumble.The expected answer was ''Oh I am very sorry I bumped into you''.Don't ask me why because it is not logical. Karen.

[Caroline-]

Yep, she was being sarky alright!! Happened to me many times, if someone is walking up towards me on a path & they start to veer in my direction then i stand my ground & won't budge cos i feel 'in the right' few weeks ago this woman was striding along in my direction & wouldn't move...so i just stood there & gave her 'the look'.....she soon moved

[pearl]

I'm guilty of that myself. If I'm having a really bad day & a student takes my wonderful, expert help for granted, I have been known to say "You're welcome!" when they havent said thanks, just to let them know I don't like being taken for granted. Well, its better than punching them. I'd lose my job.

 

I would NEVER use sarcasm with JP though, except in a jokey way when we are fooling about. He absolutely hates it when he's upset, and quite right too.

Edited November 1, 2007 by pearl

[Mumble]

i would have said exactly the same as you..maybe even something like '' no i dont mind you stopping and causing me to bump you..''

Oooh, I like that one

 

So she didn't want to know - fair enough - I'll aim for 'ignore' in future!!!

 

And Pearl - I'm always polite to the librarians!!!

[pearl]

And Pearl - I'm always polite to the librarians!!!

 

Awww .... most of my students are lovely. But its always the rude ones you remember.

[shars]

Oh Mumble you have lightened my evening with this one.

 

In my world I never mind, I really dont, not at all ,I just be.

But people say "do you mind" my answer is no never not at all Im just being and thats OK.

But in the mad world, you have to comply, there are three" Do you minds."

 

You need to read faces for this one .You need to understand happy polite,kind or cross angry ,not nice face .I can do this now but Im nearly 4o.

 

When you can do this ,then you will see you have 3 types of "do you mind."

 

1.... with a kind face, says "do you mind" which means is that ok with you.I generally say ok as long as it doesnt involve something I feel uncomfortable with.

 

2......With a kind off non discript, pleading such as ,taking a chair when they say "do you mind" they will probably indicate by pointing to the chair.

 

The big one for me is when someone says "do you mind" with a cross face.Cross faces I dont get,and generally if I have said something that offends or I hold strongly as a personal belief then I do mind very much.

 

Hope this helps,but mumble if your happy and non offensive dont worry, In saying that our core beliefs for what is right make us offensive,,,, are not we the best!!!!xoxo shars

[shars]

Hi mumble remember when youve sorted "do you mind " out theres always "never mind" xoxoxo Shars

[Nic m]

Mumble,

everyone has been very helpful with their comments on this one, and i am sorry but i am going to lower the tone!

I love that you said no, i love it because this very rude woman has got the answer she deserved! i have laughed so loud at this i woke my dog up.

Thank-you

Nicola

[Frangipani]

Hi Mumble

 

Depending on how I was feeling at the time I would have answered in an equally sarcastic 'sorry' then quickly walk around her thinking "what a twit - you dont stop dead in the flow of peak hour rush". If I was feeling offended by her sarcasm I would have said 'Well'... what do you ###### expect - your not wearing brake lights and give her the eye of disapproval.

 

But I like what you said first 'no' cause it was her fault! that was delivering back her stuuuupid question. She should have been apologising to you.

 

love

Frang xx