why do people say i don't have autism

[meggzie]

today i had some funny moment's and conpleatly shut down and some stuped person kept making me jump and i eventualy screamed and when my friend tryed to tell him to go away and leave me alone because i was autistic then he said my mum works with autistics and you're not autistic.

then on the way home the bus driver said are you sure you should have that bus pass.

It realy anoyed me and why dose people think that because im not autistic or look disabled or that im sitting in a corner hitting my head against the wall that there is nothing worng with me so why can;t they just leave it?

megg

[Clare63]

Awwww Megg,

Sorry to hear you had a tough day. Sadly there are lots of ignorant people about who really don't understand autistic spectrum disorder, try not to let them get to you.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[bid]

Hi Meggs <'>

 

I'm 41, and just got my dx in the summer.

 

People who don't know me would probably say the same thing about me, but when they do get to know me they can see it quite easily!

 

When I started my job three years ago I was really quiet and hardly said anything so nobody could 'see' I was autistic...but now I feel very comfortable with the small group of people I work with and they see a lot of my autism because I don't bother trying to hide it with them

 

I have a family and a job, but I still get really agitated by things too. Last night I was really, really upset over something and I had a bad sensory overload meltdown which scared my DD, but I really, really couldn't help it

 

Autism is sometimes called a 'hidden' disability, because we don't have anything for people to see, like a wheelchair. I don't think of myself as 'disabled', but I am different.

 

The lad who told you that you can't be autistic probably only knows about people with the kind of autism who have a lot of learning difficulties. People like us are autistic, but we just don't have those kinds of learning difficulties, so when people look at us quickly they don't 'see' the kind of autism they know about.

 

Doesn't mean you're not autistic, hun...just means this lad doesn't know what he's talking about!

 

Hang in there, Meggs...it does all get easier, hun <'> <'>

 

Bidxx

[DaisyProudfoot]

Because you don't have a sign on your head saying "I am autistic" <'> <'>

 

People have very narrow views of disabilities and autism has a huge spectrum and although your traits are obvious to those of us who know autism they're not to others. I also have AS it's not dx'd but I know,it explains a lot of my childhood and why I still get stressed out now. You really don't want to see me let loose, it's not pretty. It also explains my obsessions and my many faults including honesty.

 

I also have something called Lupus (it's an auto-immune disorder) and it hurts like ****. But to look at me you wouldn't know. Hidden disabilities are often the hardest to deal with because there is no sympathy.

[Bard]

Because you are beautiful, with great taste in clothes and look fab.

And the ignorant idiots that you met today don't understand how you can be autistic if you don't fit their limited picture of what an autistic looks like.

B has the same problem, although his taste in clothes isn't as good! People can't cope when he has a meltdown, or understand that he needs to be left alone sometimes and not made to do things he hates.

'You don't look autistic...' How stupid is that!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

Because they know no better!

and you have had years of "looking normal and trying to fit in!" and you have got very good at it

i know you are having a hard time at the moment trying to cope with all that is going on,

but i am ok, and dad will get a new job,

and the lad at school knows nothing, but think of those who do understand you

and as for the bus driver he has no right to question your need for the bus pass, it is not his job, it was not the bus company who gave it to you

 

You are a wonderful daughter, fab sister to those around you ( big sis and all the littlies who adore you)

and one of the most devoted and helpful friends i have ever seen to those you care about

 

dont ever change you! cos you are great

x

[Tally]

Meggzie, I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

 

Your friend's opinion is more important than other people's, and she stuck by you when the other boy was saying you were not autistic. You must be a good person to make such a good friend.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I think one word sums it up - IGNORANCE! In Scottish newspapers NAS are promoting a new campaign and trying to increase awareness. In fact, I believe there was something on GMTV within the past week. A lot of statistics as a result of research is showing that a lot of people simple haven't a clue about autism.

 

Guess, it's a case of disregarding ignorant people's comments. It's not always easy, but you're the important one!

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[mandyque]

It's so frustrating Some people don't take the time to look beyond physical appearance sadly, and the person who said you weren't autistic doesn't know what he's on about! The problem is, even those who know something about autism often have a very straightforward view of it, so if he has seen someone with autism and learning difficulties, perhaps further down towards the Kanner end of the spectrum, he probably assumed that's all autism is about.

 

Try to disregard him, his opinion doesn't matter, he isn't a doctor or an expert in autism, even they couldn't diagnose without seeing you for more than a few minutes!

[meggzie]

thank you all you're all so helpful its all being sourted

 

 

 

but thank you all so much

 

 

 

 

love meggzie

[Frangipani]

then on the way home the bus driver said are you sure you should have that bus pass.

It realy anoyed me and why dose people think that because im not autistic or look disabled megg

 

Hi Meggzie,

 

My daughter recently acquired one of those bus passes because she has a brain tumour and anorexia - and she doesn't look like either except she is 17 and looks 12. She came home upset saying the driver gave her a filthy look. Next time this happens I will personally visit the inspector to ensure this doesn't happen again. A letter can be ignored. After reading your post I feel more determined to do something.

<'> <'> <'>

Fxx

[TuX]

am probably one of the lucky few who doesn't get this treatment off strangers-get the opposite,sometimes get strangers coming up asking about whether am have autism,strangers asking if need any help,but more often get abuse,it does not bother-recently,was walking through stretford mall with support staff going out the door when a group of teenage girls coming in,started the abuse,didn't turn around but gave them the v sign with fingers,actually heard them all shut up in an instant,learnt that one from sisters' boyfriend which he uses on people when they say how bad his football team are [norwich city].

 

on public transport,if am show pass,they usually let support staff on with am for free but they've all got their own passes anyway.

do get times when people sat on the buses try to force eye contact,when they see am using the 'free' pass,because am do not have a wheel chair,hearing aid or cane,but it is normal to be expected as a lot of people still have that belief about disability.

they have probably come across loads of people with disabilities [inc. developmental,pyschiatric,learning and health] never noticed,it would be nice if some had more understanding though,people do not need to have the knowledge to have the understanding.

Edited November 16, 2007 by TuX

[bikergal]

Well said, TuX